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[PhotonDrop]

I suck.

I hate how I alienate my online friends from me slowly but surely, they keep telling me I changed but when they relentlessly assault you it wears a person out. So I am a bit more defensive because the lot of "friends" like to jump on and laugh at me in groups. Don't complain how I "changed"... I don't want to take it seriously but I can't help it, and when it happens every chance they get its amazing I'm not doing worse than I am now.

Then there are my friends in real life, the miniscule amount that I can barely call friends. I barely see them, they won't let me tag along when they go to a party somewhere, they laugh when I am upset over something, they expect things of me but never have done anything for me. Friend A wants a dollar to get a soda, who does she ask? Me. I barely have money for myself nowadays. When I say I have no money to lend she refuses to talk to me for the rest of the day. And God forbid I ask any of them for a dollar... then the insults come... its mind boggling, they look as serious as can be but the instant the can see that I am pissed they say they were just joking, I'd like to beleive them... I just don't know what to do.

I would like for someone to talk with about all this but when I have the chance I don't know what to say...

It's getting to me too much, I can't take this...

[Sagasu]

Some of us have been down that road, and some of us dont make it.

It doesnt get any easier, but you learn to handle it eventually. Just have to keep picking yourself up when you fall.

Good luck PD.

[Nisshoku]

You know, this sounds a lot like my life, PD...

Out of my small group of RL friends, I pretty much only meet them once a week for the usual D&D session, and that's pretty much it for the week, other than the occasional phone call.

Well, I definitely know how it is in the lack of cash department. I've barely got a cent to my name, and I'm up to my eyeballs in debt myself. I'd like to think about post-secondary education, but it's almost fucking aggravating.

As for insults, I've been getting those from those in the past I saw as friends at a young age. One would think that I'd eventually become desensitized to it, but that's not the case. It only takes so long, and so much before I explode in anger. And when I do, it's well-pronounced.

It's only after some help from family and friends I've been able to become a bit calmer these days, really. But like a birthmark, it's still gonna be there.

I make myslef available to all friends of me, and you are of no exception. You know how to get ahold of me.

[Zelutos]

I still lub you PD http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime1.gif

[navci]

You have a lot of issues.
Need to take them apart and work on one at a time. Everything is related in one way or another.

[EJ]

Life is tough and having friends in RL and online can be tough.

Online is tougher since you can't really see them and can only rely on the text so it can very difficult to tell if they are joking or being serious.

While in RL isnt any easier since sometimes people get uneasy and really don't know what to say or do at times.

So it like a double edge sword having friends in RL and online can be a good thing but at the same time a bad thing if you alienate everyone.

My advice like Navi says work out your problems one at a time and don't try to handle them all at once. Take things nice and slow and see if you notice anything that has change.

Don't worry PD I'm still your friend. XD

[Kuea]

It's not entirely your fault.

if you alienate them enough to make them leave you then they definatly weren't worth having as a friend in the first place

real friends would stay with you no matter what and put up with any crap that could alienate them

heh I know I am guilty for alot of this crap and there's not much I can say to make up for it

but like niss said, He's always here to talk and I'll be here as well

you have friends PD so maybe you are just trying to hard to keep them or are just overlooking them

just try to relax a little and have some fun http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

don't let some ignorant jackass ruin it for you ( yes PD, I realized what I just said =3 )

[geewj]

It's the internet.

It's not exactly the best median for relationships of anykind. There is a lot of assuming and a lot of trust sometimes required, which means a lot of miscommunications and then more assuming.

These things are going to happen. The only kind of relationship on the internet, or anywhere for that matter, that goes flawlessly is one in which neither party gives much of a damn, which isn't much of a relationship at all.

So yeah, it happens. The important thing is what you do about it.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

On 2005-02-27 15:22, PhotonDrop wrote:
I suck.

Hehe.
I thought that was my overused and abused line.http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

From my experience with friends, they were only there to:
Make fun of me.
and
Borrow money.

Go friends!

I don't know where exactly I should take my advice from here; on one hand the 'Online friends > RL friends' rant from a while ago was good to know, and 'Social Ninjitsu' and others made about isolation and the feelings involved also work.

However, it seems the one about 'Superiority complex... inferiority complex' should suffice. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

Saying you suck because a group doesn't accept you as they once did is harsh enough. It could be others are changing and you are not, or could it be perhaps that you are changing at the same rate they are?

Having someone tell you that you're unwanted except for random petty cash is hard to take. I know how this is from my experiences too. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_cry.gif

I think you should be able to work your way towards "everyone else sucks, not me," within time. Working your way towards this is something I don't particularly know how to do. Maybe asking our friendly neighborhood Sagasu can get you on that path soon enough.

No one should be subject to constant insults and attacks on your character if you are innocent(as in never doing the same to others on a daily basis).

I hope you can get past these bad days for you.

Edit:'you' to 'they'

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: HAYABUSA-FMW- on 2005-02-28 15:16 ]</font>

[trypticon]

On 2005-02-27 15:22, PhotonDrop wrote:
I suck.

I hate how I alienate my online friends from me slowly but surely.



Online friends, unless you also know them in real life, are not true friends. Rather, they are names and personalities over an assortment of pixels.


On 2005-02-27 15:22, PhotonDrop wrote:
Then there are my friends in real life, the miniscule amount that I can barely call friends. I barely see them, they won't let me tag along when they go to a party somewhere, they laugh when I am upset over something, they expect things of me but never have done anything for me.



These are not real friends either, instead, they are people who are using you. Believe me, I know of what I write.


On 2005-02-27 15:22, PhotonDrop wrote:
I would like for someone to talk with about all this but when I have the chance I don't know what to say...

It's getting to me too much, I can't take this...



Feel free to stop by anytime. You and Eclair both know where to find me.

[Aredhel]

On 2005-03-01 14:05, trypticon wrote:
they are names and personalities over an assortment of pixels.



And in real-life, I am just a name and personality over an assortment of internal organs.

Are you sure you're not over-deifying social convention, PhotonDrop? I'm not one of those "Oh, I don't need friends because I hate everyone and I don't need them, blah, blah, blarg" sort of people, but I've certainly never been someone with a large circle of friends. I've made friendships over all different places of the world, and usually know enough when someone is a kind person or if they are merely just out to get something out of you. That being said, there are plenty of nice people out there, and similar interests aren't absolutely necessary to make a relationship work (friendship or otherwise). With this in mind, you can be very selective about whom you consider a friend, and whom you consider a sheep. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif

Your time isn't worth wasting with people whom aren't worth it. Of course, this can give you a pretty severe superiority complex - take me for example http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif - but remember: the open mind is often drafty. There's nothing absolutely vital to your existence that can be found in other people - however, some of the most beautiful moments of life are those found and shared with others. Keep this in mind when you decide whose company you want to spend your life with, and you will probably have an accurate sense of who is your friend and who is *not*.

Bug me on IM if you ever want to chat with a complete stranger. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

[HUcastShinobi]

Reminds me a bunch of years ago in middle school where i was a noone, but it changed after i talked to one of my new friend and realized it was one of his friends whom i was bugging, and the person happened to be a girl, and i was doing that cause she was going out with a paintball obsessed asshole i used to call a friend. but i eventually apologized and she forgave me. another ex-friend whom i told i liked her, told her! i admitted it to her being honest, and i then began passing notes and she became the most helpful person in my life, and i slowly was more comfortalble around girls, although most already hated me. i also look up to her when im liking someone or having a problem with a friend who is female. i actually now have as many female friends as i do male almost, and all because i realized a mistake i did, not someone else.

my story kinda tells you how i had made friends, so maybe you could use that to your advantage to make better and new friends PD. i wish you the best of luck to getting out of such a deep hole in your life, for you are the only one who can fix it.

[trypticon]

On 2005-03-01 15:34, Aredhel wrote:

On 2005-03-01 14:05, trypticon wrote:
they are names and personalities over an assortment of pixels.



And in real-life, I am just a name and personality over an assortment of internal organs.




Crude, but amusing.

[HUcastShinobi]

On 2005-03-02 14:19, trypticon wrote:

On 2005-03-01 15:34, Aredhel wrote:

On 2005-03-01 14:05, trypticon wrote:
they are names and personalities over an assortment of pixels.



And in real-life, I am just a name and personality over an assortment of internal organs.




Crude, but amusing.



But its true for some, because it is how some feel, its not something to laugh at. Thats half the reason why some people dont get treated right. How old are you PD? Maybe that would help some things out http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

[Evil_Althena8]

If your RL friends do that shit to you, they're not worth your time. I can't say much about online friends, as I haven't had any since about junior high when I used to RP all the time in AOL chatrooms. Feeling alienated from friends is a tough thing, I know. Especially now that I'm out of HS, I barely see my friends anymore other than maybe my best friend. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and hope for the future.

Good luck PD