PDA

View Full Version : Sigh.



Daikarin
May 14, 2005, 05:51 AM
Everytime I feel the need to let it out, I feel selfish. But I can't help it. I'm sorry if it sounds bad, but I'm not good enough to deal with certan situations well, yet.

I mean, I am who I am. I'm sure some people can't change, but I can't change as well. Surely I can evolve like any other human being, but there are roots in me that will always be attached in the same soil, which I believe that are the essence of me.

It's not fair. The mechanics of the way everything works aren't still clear to me.

All I can, is remember my upbringing and morals throughout everything that life throws at me. That way I can be a true man. See from both sides, not only from mine. Understand how someone else feels, without forgetting my own feelings too.

And place my faith in the fact that everything will work out, despite all the clouds that can't make me see the way things turn out.

Geez. I feel down, but feel even lower knowing that I feel low, since that makes someone else feel low too.

But the thought of what else life can throw at me...

Sorry for not going into details, but you get the general idea, right?

Sigh. I'll be fine. Deal with this is all I can do, and want to do.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Even_Jin on 2005-05-14 04:20 ]</font>

agenevil
May 14, 2005, 02:31 PM
Some people would say you are selfish and have it good compared to other people... but here's my theory. You are you, you can help yourself, you can't always help other people. Don't be worried about being selfish. Everyone is selfish. And if everyone is, noone is.

I see where you come from. I get the general idea, and I feel that way a lot... but after 5 minutes of thinking on that type of thing, I get over it, because deep down it doesn't really bother me... that may not be you, though.

Daikarin
May 14, 2005, 02:33 PM
Thanks for the advice man, but I can't blame you for having no clue about what it's going on.

But you're right, it's not wrong to being selfish sometimes. But I can't help it, I'm a bit of a sucker at that.

Sagasu
May 14, 2005, 03:28 PM
Because we all want to be the selfless hero, when all we can do is be selfish in order to survive?

Story of everyones life.

HAYABUSA-FMW-
May 14, 2005, 05:22 PM
Yeah some things are truly not fair.

I can reason with the idea of changing.
Change never happens overnight. Its a gradual process perhaps after a major life turning event, or something as simple as not wanting to behave in such a way(bad habit, anger outburst maybe) ever again.

You move slowly towards your goal, maybe without realizing it, and if anything comes to your attention as a similar type of setback to what you were changing from- you should note that and try harder to change.

A growing and learning process.

I'm still young as hell to most of the world, but I know I'm capable of seeing how different I am from maybe a year ago, two years ago, etc.

Sometimes you can think you're just in "cruise-control" or "auto pilot" and nothing really matters, right?
I talked about this briefly wiht Abdur once, I guess to give credit where credit is due(plagarism is bad, I can't take words someone else spoke as my own.)

Look back, not directly to childhood or upbringing immediately, that is all a given to how you behave-right?

Try looking back one or two years, as a start, if you want to see how much you have changed. How well you can handle the things that happen now that you could not handle(well) before?

Life isn't simple. Try your best and no one can find fault with you for that.

Daikarin
May 14, 2005, 07:50 PM
On 2005-05-14 13:28, Sagasu wrote:
Because we all want to be the selfless hero, when all we can do is be selfish in order to survive?

Story of everyones life.



Read my text well. I'm not being selfish, but I should. That's why I feel bad.

Besides, the world isn't only black and white. You aren't either selfish or selfless.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Even_Jin on 2005-05-14 17:55 ]</font>

Daikarin
May 14, 2005, 07:53 PM
On 2005-05-14 15:22, HAYABUSA-FMW- wrote:
Yeah some things are truly not fair.

I can reason with the idea of changing.
Change never happens overnight. Its a gradual process perhaps after a major life turning event, or something as simple as not wanting to behave in such a way(bad habit, anger outburst maybe) ever again.



True. But what if you can't change?




Sometimes you can think you're just in "cruise-control" or "auto pilot" and nothing really matters, right?



Rare times. But it's necessary.



Try looking back one or two years, as a start, if you want to see how much you have changed. How well you can handle the things that happen now that you could not handle(well) before?


I guess that, if this happened two years ago I'd go nuts.

Most of the time, I feel I'm not handling it well. But get angry at myself for not having the wisdom to do it so. Thanks.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Even_Jin on 2005-05-14 17:56 ]</font>

Wyndham
May 14, 2005, 08:38 PM
I know it's probably too late to help, but just stop worrying about it, and you'll be fine.




<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Oran1324 on 2005-05-14 20:14 ]</font>

Sagasu
May 14, 2005, 10:13 PM
On 2005-05-14 17:50, Even_Jin wrote:

Read my text well. I'm not being selfish, but I should. That's why I feel bad.

At least thats what you think you're doing.



Besides, the world isn't only black and white. You aren't either selfish or selfless.


Its all selfishness, really. A person will act out of their own self interest, even if all they are interested in is the thought that they've done a good deed.

I may sound like a complete jerk for saying that, but its all in your point of view. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Skorpius
May 14, 2005, 10:18 PM
Survival is a selfish act.

geewj
May 15, 2005, 01:08 AM
On 2005-05-14 20:13, Sagasu wrote:


On 2005-05-14 17:50, Even_Jin wrote:

Read my text well. I'm not being selfish, but I should. That's why I feel bad.

At least thats what you think you're doing.



Besides, the world isn't only black and white. You aren't either selfish or selfless.


Its all selfishness, really. A person will act out of their own self interest, even if all they are interested in is the thought that they've done a good deed.

I may sound like a complete jerk for saying that, but its all in your point of view. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif



selfˇish
adj.

1. Concerned chiefly or only with oneself.


If said good deed was done in the service of another person, or rather with concern for another person, and by doing so the most minor of inconveniences were to cross your path then it no longer fits the definition of selfish.

Like he said, it's not just one or the other. Sure, the word is open to some 'creative interpretation', but not for the sake of subjecting it on someone.

HAYABUSA-FMW-
May 15, 2005, 07:02 AM
On 2005-05-14 17:53, Even_Jin wrote:


On 2005-05-14 15:22, HAYABUSA-FMW- wrote:
Yeah some things are truly not fair.

I can reason with the idea of changing.
Change never happens overnight. Its a gradual process perhaps after a major life turning event, or something as simple as not wanting to behave in such a way(bad habit, anger outburst maybe) ever again.



True. But what if you can't change?


I'm still in way over my head here so far. But no worries about having to give out the details for clarification(I respect your wishes not to divulge them to the public), I can just "call it how I see it," or talk over all that has been said.

I'm thinking this was due to a bad experience, of something you felt you didn't handle well enough this time around. You possibly had a regret(after the event), maybe that you failed yourself by giving into an instinct you didn't necessarily want to at the time.

Even if you know you are soo set in your ways that you cannot change, the more experiences you have with the type of event gives you at least another second to analyze it all and hesitate before reacting accordingly.

You could instantly think back to the previous times this type of thing happend, what went wrong/right. How you should handle it this time around.

Then again, no two situations are ever exactly the same.

I'm having a similarly hard time with a recurring situation concerning my family and home life. Its not fun at all to see things spiraling out of control and knowing you're helpless to change the situation for the better. I've already said too much. I apologize for changing the subject, derailing off track here.

Daikarin
May 15, 2005, 01:19 PM
Frink outlined a very important point there.

And Hayabusa, you're right. It was a bad experience. It still is, and probably always be. The only way it can stop feeling bad about the event, was if I changed my way of seeing that. And I can never change my way of seeing that, at least not on this case.

But I feel selfish if I think that way.

Don't worry about talking too much, any word can help. Not even my greatest spiritual advisor went through something like this.

One thing is for sure though. I'll deal with this with the best possible way, seeing EVERYONE's point of view.