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View Full Version : Why I need grandkids. Long story long. "Spam-text" warning.



HAYABUSA-FMW-
Jun 17, 2005, 05:47 AM
I can tell em how bad my days usually are.
I'm going to just flow my ideas and thoughts out of my head before I explode. Run along if this is "too much text", or you "don't have time to read it".

Heh Sunny California. The day before 84 degree heat working on higher Summer heat. Day later-tsunami warning off coast-for Vancouver from Earthquake 90 miles off coast of California, cancelled after a few hours. Brings rain though.

Didn't start raining hard until I leave the house on my 30 minute walk, after taking a shower and rushing to get ready for work. Walk into work soaked after the 30 minute walk in the pouring rain.

Think about Shenmue and Ryo walking around with no hat/hood in the rain/snow when everyone else has raincoats and umbrellas.

Streets flooding again. Hills, not enough drains. Mud slicks sliding down some sidewalks-have to walk in the street to not trip and fall down.

Everyone at work talking about going to graduation!
Heh, in the rain. Probably better than mine though.

People supposed to cheer right? Whoo! Its over he got his diploma! He's going to be a millionaire! Dead silence when they call my name and I walk. Parents, brothers, family friends, grandparents, classmates, nothing. Can hear crickets.

Someone's boyfriend changed schedules with me the night before and the girlfriend is upset, causing me to say sorry. I felt guilt since I didn't even ask why he wanted the schedule change. They could have worked the same hours. Thus happiness.

J-pop/rock/metal music gets played for the latter half of the shift. Hmm, interesting. I'm listening to a little as of late. Then Full Metal Anime Alchemist song comes on and I lose all interest. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

Champloo/MINMI/Nujabes for me please. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Schedule is changed by boss, no-one informs me and I have another 12 hour shift on a day I usually don't work. WTF SUCK Damn. Thanks boss, the schedules are supposed to be set 1 week in advance, not last minute. And for the why? Oh this person can't work, sorry.

Always taking advantage of me not having anything "important" to do in my life.

I need to quit-but then be branded a quitter and loser by the rest of this populace. People my age steal money, don't show up for work, and end up getting worse and worse jobs. I'm not going to be branded a loser like they have been.

I couldn't even find the will to go to the bank to deposit paychecks for like 6 months. Schedule got changed and I couldn't get to the bank before it closed. Still don't know how to deposit through ATM machine. I suck with simple technology sometimes.

Hardly anyone but the Spanish speaking guys talk to me anymore. Always cussing at me in Spanish as well, so I just cuss back in Spanish. Frustration over things that cannot be translated in terms of the working evironment, both me and them having problems with mixed messages.

Not fun. No fun. No friends. No hanging out. No going anywhere. Still being friendly to everyone but always bitter.

Idiot kids-former friends coming and in waving to me saying Hi. I ignore them. I'm usually busy anyway-both hands full. They don't get it. After they started being racist and very bitter over me purchasing things with the money I work hard for, I stopped hanging out with them. I don't need to be made fun of by immature spolied brats for spending my money on my 1 day off a week, WTF.

They came in as I had the stupid cashier job and one little punk berates me as I press the wrong button for making his order. Says it mumbling, under his breath. A sick bastard. Not worth it so I let it slide, he always berates people, even his friends. Cynical bastard.

I ask if they wanted my new cell phone number before they leave-against my better judgement. Hurry they say, we gotta go. Hmmph. they were the ones bothering me on AIM and coming in waving hi even though I'm holding grudges. I try to concede and compromise-let it go and later on AIM "Why haven't you guys called, its been 2 weeks?" "oh that little paper you gave me, i lost it lol"

Well fuck man. You could have put down that phone that was up to your ear, telling me its new(and showing your parents bought it for you when my parents yelled at me and made a scene when I wanted to get my own phone!) and inputted my number in the phone. What was the hurry about? Weren't you trying to continue to be friends? No thanks. I've had enough.

"How much money do you make now?!" "You still working at that one place?!"

WTF. I don't barely know you and that is the only thing you ask me?! What does it look like I make, its an entry level job. I do my best, I'm better than the average doofus that can land this job so I'm doing fine thanks. How much do you make?

And who are you? Like I'm not supposed to be working at the same place for 2 years like the rest of the people you know? I'm supposed to be fired or quit? GTFO.

A pper my age might say hi and handshake. "Hey what are you doing now?" "Working." "Anything else? School." "Nope." Man, I'm a loser. Failure at more than one thing I've done. I'm expected to be going to school or have a plan, I don't have a plan.

Ugh. Damn Damn Damn world.

Saiffy
Jun 17, 2005, 12:01 PM
Like fuck I'm reading all that.

Daikarin
Jun 17, 2005, 12:09 PM
Anyone has that link for that Shenmue fun manga?

Sef
Jun 17, 2005, 12:13 PM
On 2005-06-17 10:01, Saiffwin wrote:
Like fuck I'm reading all that.


You know you did. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_nono.gif

Django
Jun 17, 2005, 01:05 PM
Guh, I'm hating on this rain that off coast tsunami brought. It poured on my last day of school.

HAYABUSA-FMW-
Jun 18, 2005, 02:22 AM
On 2005-06-17 10:01, Saiffwin wrote:
Like fuck I'm reading all that.




On 2005-06-17 03:47, HAYABUSA-FMW- wrote:

Run along if this is "too much text", or you "don't have time to read it".


Nobody fucking asked you to. Who said this was about you?!
Thanks for trying to make fun of me with your input though. I've never heard that one before. [/sarcasm}

Sure as hell wasted your time posting in my topic too.

I put a warning in the freaking topic title as well, so can't say I didn't warn you, or try to keep your crap out of it.

Regardless. No worries. I didn't mean for anyone here to read it, or reply back with anything of importance.

No hard feelings Saiffwin.
We should just both think before we post is all.
A second's more hesitation, and all this can be avoided.

Sagasu
Jun 18, 2005, 02:43 AM
Woah now, hayabusa, we're not your skin deep ex friends or the snobby customer across the counter. Place the hate where it belongs.

Superficial goals arent much to be proud of either, it takes an unholy amount of time for one to really realize what they 'want' out of life.

But get this, You are..

A. Employed, joy of joys you have a paycheck. This is a comfort not to be taken lightly.

B.Patient as a mule, and I mean this in a good way. People break under less stressfull situations, so chin up.

C. Aaaannd you have an outlet for the stress that builds up. While contact across internet isnt exactly a haven for the heavy hearted, it is far better than lashing out at those around you, or having no way of dealing with the troubles whatsoever.

So I'm not exactly aware of everything about you, but I think I've read anough to get this impression down. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

HAYABUSA-FMW-
Jun 18, 2005, 02:51 AM
On 2005-06-18 00:43, Sagasu wrote:
Woah now, hayabusa, we're not your skin deep ex friends or the snobby customer across the counter. Place the hate where it belongs.


Inward. Got it. Or punching bag.

Thanks anyway for taking the time out to write me such a response, Sagasu.
I should mention it now, rather than err never; Once during your spats with Skorpius, I thought you were close to a ban. I told Navi. She thought I was weird to care about someone getting banned that I didn't even know or speak to.

Heh.
Something troubling me is just eating away at me right now.

I'm sorry for my outbursts recently.
Its becoming hard to deal with things that I've never dealt with before, as if it should be easy-which is impossible.

It feels like I've wasted a bit of time in the here and now, and I hope it wasn't in vain.(two seperate instances, not pertaining to anything I've written here in the topic)

Thanks again.
Sorry, again.

Sagasu
Jun 18, 2005, 03:13 AM
Inward. Got it. Or punching bag.

Thanks anyway for taking the time out to write me such a response, Sagasu.
I should mention it now, rather than err never; Once during your spats with Skorpius, I thought you were close to a ban. I told Navi. She thought I was weird to care about someone getting banned that I didn't even know or speak to.

You seem to care a lot, for better or worse, about the things nobody seems to, or wants to notice. A redeeming quality that is usually taken advantage of ._.;



Heh.
Something troubling me is just eating away at me right now.


More like a lot of 'somethings'. I'd normally advise for you to remove yourself from the main source of conflict, but it'd appear that you prefer to weather through it.



I'm sorry for my outbursts recently.
Its becoming hard to deal with things that I've never dealt with before, as if it should be easy-which is impossible.

It feels like I've wasted a bit of time in the here and now, and I hope it wasn't in vain.(two seperate instances, not pertaining to anything I've written here in the topic)


Heh, what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger. Since its all unfamiliar territory, it'd only be cruel to expect you to smile through it all.

Focus on what you have, and thats all I'll say.

So, what would be the most interesting story from your life that you would tell your grandchildren? http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif

HAYABUSA-FMW-
Jun 18, 2005, 03:36 AM
On 2005-06-18 01:13, Sagasu wrote:

So, what would be the most interesting story from your life that you would tell your grandchildren? http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif


I'm considered a pushover yes, but also "too nice" or overly sensitive. But like most humans(saying this in a non-assuming tone), I have more than one dimension to my personality; there has to be a better word to define such characteristics.

Well, positive story, about winning a gold medal in a state karate tournament. Also a visit to a national tournament. But by the time I'm old and weathered, it might be a story about how I won 12 gold medals in the olympics or something exaggerated like that! http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif

Negative story, having to walk to the bus stop 4-5 times a week, "uphill both ways(exaggerated again)", in the rain, with 50 lbs of gear, with the streets flooding and cars nearly hitting me as I cross intersections.

Even running to let them get through the intersection faster as they wait for me to cross-and not have to swear under their breath how they have to wait for this punk kid to cross the street, and how they have things to do. this doesn't stop some people from threading the needle though and nearly hurting me.

I'm just more or less directly or indirectly(however you choose to look at it) involved in an incident that is worrying me to no end is all. A waiting game to see if any good news arises is all, and worrying over what bad news the hours ticking away can bring about. I'm not going to say anymore than that-within a public view here.

Thanks again. I certainly appreciate the kind words.

Sagasu
Jun 18, 2005, 03:57 AM
If you feel the need to "just let someone know", drop me a pm sometime http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime2.gif

I've heard you mention it before, but just recently its occured to me that you're fairly into the martial arts business. Gold in a state tournament, I cant even begin to imagine what that must've been like.

I've practised a few various forms, but thus far my favorite has got to be ju-jitsu (fuji-ryu, specifically, a more 'stand up' oriented style) Closest I've come to any acknowledgement in that area was placing first in three of four devisions of a local dojo competition, technique, weapons, and form. Whereas I got my ass handed back to me while sparring. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Hee, little tales of misfortune are always good conversation fuel. My father tends to organize a yearly 'conclave' amongst friends of the family, where we get together out in some area of the states (last year we were in the moutains in montana) Of the seven or so of these camp outs I've attended, I have yet to remain unscathed. Getting a new scar(running into barb wire fence) or burn (red hot metal, owies!) has become almost tradition.

stories are fun! ^_^

HAYABUSA-FMW-
Jun 18, 2005, 04:49 AM
On 2005-06-18 01:57, Sagasu wrote:
If you feel the need to "just let someone know", drop me a pm sometime http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime2.gif

Can do. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif


I've heard you mention it before, but just recently its occured to me that you're fairly into the martial arts business. Gold in a state tournament, I cant even begin to imagine what that must've been like.

I've practised a few various forms, but thus far my favorite has got to be ju-jitsu (fuji-ryu, specifically, a more 'stand up' oriented style) Closest I've come to any acknowledgement in that area was placing first in three of four devisions of a local dojo competition, technique, weapons, and form. Whereas I got my ass handed back to me while sparring. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Hehe. I always got my ass handed to me in sparring as well. No control, me. I had to err, kneel away from a competitor once in competition, nearly was disqualified. Felt terrible.

Other times, got kicked in the face, by a student of lower belt/rank. Embarassing, and hurt like hell. XD

Hurt a higher ranked opponent, by using a form of a kick-deemed for "street" use only. As in true "self defense." Bruised the guy, bad. Felt again, terrible. Sensei said it was okay, since it was what he had been teaching for the last few months, but I probably should have been aware of the situation-much more than I was.

1st in local competition between "sister" dojos is no small feat, friend! Especially in three seperate divisions! Mastering one is tough to do. I was scared off my tookus everytime we met for inter-dojo tournaments, even if the medals were mandatory-just to get rid of too many bulk duplicates from previous "pay tourneys."

I'm currently out of martial arts, and have another set of problems to deal with there, if I ever plan on returning. Ugh.


Hee, little tales of misfortune are always good conversation fuel. My father tends to organize a yearly 'conclave' amongst friends of the family, where we get together out in some area of the states (last year we were in the moutains in montana) Of the seven or so of these camp outs I've attended, I have yet to remain unscathed. Getting a new scar(running into barb wire fence) or burn (red hot metal, owies!) has become almost tradition.

stories are fun! ^_^

Indeed! Barb wire! http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif
Burn scars?!

Well, more like battle scars and family tattoos then?! http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif All in good fun, due to the family get-together. No worries there.