Kizaragu
Jul 11, 2005, 06:35 PM
Fed up, I've decided to vent my frustrations of life upon the masses that are found in PSOWs Dead Horse Society.
I'm not really looking for any 'poor you' or 'there are other people far worse than you' kind of replies, this is just me venting for no reason, because you're absolutely right. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif
So just nod you're head, roll your eyes, that kind of thing and feel free to ignore it. Don't take it too seriousely.
Obsessive whining begins as of now...
Six months ago looking back, was pretty good. Although at the time I was so stupid I couldn't see it. I am a grade A bloody moron.
Back then I was renting a house with two friends, had a girlfriend, a social life and my own independance. I felt an adult.
Now I'm sleeping in the kitchen/Dining room of my parents house, have no girlfriend, absolutely no social life and no independance. I feel like I'm 13 years old.
Why the house thing didn't work out.
* Though to some degree I could trust my housemates (I've known them for years) I couldn't really trust their friends. They knew some dodgey people and I came home on two occasions to find my room had been broken into.
* Me and my then Girlfriend lived 20 odd miles away in my old home town where my parents lived. We started dating just as I moved away. Irony is a bitch. After months of ignoring our feelings they finally come to surface at the wrong time.
The travelling wasn't much of a big deal (I'd often to and fro between the two places even before I moved out.)The main issue there was because my two housemates would get pissed off about the amount of time I was spending staying with my misses. Which to be honest was a rediculouse amount. I saw less of them whilest I was living with them than when I lived 20 miles away. Making relations difficult between the three of us.
* I quit my job after having a seriouse row with my then pisstake of a manager and the bills were piling up. (It would take too long to give you all the reasons why I did. But they were absolutely justified)
By the time I got a new job, the debts I had were so severe I had no choice but to move out. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif
I'm greatful my parents let me come back but the room I was in before is no longer vacant so I'm stuck living in the dining room/kitchen.
It's so noisy there and I'm garaunteed to be woken every morning on the hour at 6am, 7am and then 8am (regardless of what time I went to bed) by people coming home or going to work and school.
It's my own fault I guess for moving out and back, and I'm very grateful to have somewhere to stay.
But like I said, this is just a random vent.
The girlfriend thing and social life.
In a nutshell it just wasn't working so that's all I'm going to say on the matter of it ending.
As some of you know my parents live in the sticks. It's a dump, a roughish area and friends in this town are few and far between.
My girlfriend was my best friend Emma's sister. Despite the relationship between ending on a good(ish) note me and emma, her long term boyfriend (My good friend too) have grown apart because of it.
Understandable really.
It's just upsetting that we've all been a close group of best friends for years and would spend a lot of our spare time together and now suddenly it's stopped completely. My social life is now a mass void of nothing. I'm lucky if I see them once a week.
So...
My days now basically involve getting up at around 10am.
*Occasionally going to the Library to find a book to help me escape this dreary world.
*Spending roughly 2 hours a day travelling on bus to a job that doesn't pay all that well and barely provides me with enough hours as it is.
*Coming home and finding any form of escapism I can find, be it a book, computer game or the super information highway.
Too be honest there's so much more I could complain about but I'm going to spare you all the horror. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif
What now?
Well franky I've had enough. Instead of sitting here complaining about it I'm going to do something productive and sort it out.
Luckily despite the shit that has been going on of late, a silver lining has emerged.
I'm getting a seriousely large amount of Tax back at the end of the month.
With this money I'm going to go back to college and do what I've always wanted (Graphic design), meet new people and hopefully build a 'decent' life for myself again.
The shit has hit the fan and I'm kicking ass and taking names.
Sorry to bore you with my ramblings but like I said I know it could be a lot worse, but I needed to get some shit off my chest. There are some good thing happening in my life and I should count my blessings.
I sound like an old man at the ripe old age of 21.
I just feel my life has reached it's peak already and I've barely begun.
Old man Kiz signing out.
I'm not really looking for any 'poor you' or 'there are other people far worse than you' kind of replies, this is just me venting for no reason, because you're absolutely right. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif
So just nod you're head, roll your eyes, that kind of thing and feel free to ignore it. Don't take it too seriousely.
Obsessive whining begins as of now...
Six months ago looking back, was pretty good. Although at the time I was so stupid I couldn't see it. I am a grade A bloody moron.
Back then I was renting a house with two friends, had a girlfriend, a social life and my own independance. I felt an adult.
Now I'm sleeping in the kitchen/Dining room of my parents house, have no girlfriend, absolutely no social life and no independance. I feel like I'm 13 years old.
Why the house thing didn't work out.
* Though to some degree I could trust my housemates (I've known them for years) I couldn't really trust their friends. They knew some dodgey people and I came home on two occasions to find my room had been broken into.
* Me and my then Girlfriend lived 20 odd miles away in my old home town where my parents lived. We started dating just as I moved away. Irony is a bitch. After months of ignoring our feelings they finally come to surface at the wrong time.
The travelling wasn't much of a big deal (I'd often to and fro between the two places even before I moved out.)The main issue there was because my two housemates would get pissed off about the amount of time I was spending staying with my misses. Which to be honest was a rediculouse amount. I saw less of them whilest I was living with them than when I lived 20 miles away. Making relations difficult between the three of us.
* I quit my job after having a seriouse row with my then pisstake of a manager and the bills were piling up. (It would take too long to give you all the reasons why I did. But they were absolutely justified)
By the time I got a new job, the debts I had were so severe I had no choice but to move out. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif
I'm greatful my parents let me come back but the room I was in before is no longer vacant so I'm stuck living in the dining room/kitchen.
It's so noisy there and I'm garaunteed to be woken every morning on the hour at 6am, 7am and then 8am (regardless of what time I went to bed) by people coming home or going to work and school.
It's my own fault I guess for moving out and back, and I'm very grateful to have somewhere to stay.
But like I said, this is just a random vent.
The girlfriend thing and social life.
In a nutshell it just wasn't working so that's all I'm going to say on the matter of it ending.
As some of you know my parents live in the sticks. It's a dump, a roughish area and friends in this town are few and far between.
My girlfriend was my best friend Emma's sister. Despite the relationship between ending on a good(ish) note me and emma, her long term boyfriend (My good friend too) have grown apart because of it.
Understandable really.
It's just upsetting that we've all been a close group of best friends for years and would spend a lot of our spare time together and now suddenly it's stopped completely. My social life is now a mass void of nothing. I'm lucky if I see them once a week.
So...
My days now basically involve getting up at around 10am.
*Occasionally going to the Library to find a book to help me escape this dreary world.
*Spending roughly 2 hours a day travelling on bus to a job that doesn't pay all that well and barely provides me with enough hours as it is.
*Coming home and finding any form of escapism I can find, be it a book, computer game or the super information highway.
Too be honest there's so much more I could complain about but I'm going to spare you all the horror. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif
What now?
Well franky I've had enough. Instead of sitting here complaining about it I'm going to do something productive and sort it out.
Luckily despite the shit that has been going on of late, a silver lining has emerged.
I'm getting a seriousely large amount of Tax back at the end of the month.
With this money I'm going to go back to college and do what I've always wanted (Graphic design), meet new people and hopefully build a 'decent' life for myself again.
The shit has hit the fan and I'm kicking ass and taking names.
Sorry to bore you with my ramblings but like I said I know it could be a lot worse, but I needed to get some shit off my chest. There are some good thing happening in my life and I should count my blessings.
I sound like an old man at the ripe old age of 21.
I just feel my life has reached it's peak already and I've barely begun.
Old man Kiz signing out.