My girlfriend is gay.... [Archive]

InfinityXXX

Jul 20, 2005, 01:09 AM

I really didn't want to post this here but i'm bored and i need to unleash some anger.

FIRST OF ALL before i start, this is no whinney love rant.

*ahem* A few days ago, shortly after Tia came back from vacatio she called me and said that she feels the need to be with a woman and that she is gay. Of course at that moment i wasn't happy. But life goes on and the next day i was cool. We still talk to each other every day and she considers me, her best friend.

Now heres the rant, I don't care that shes gay, the reason why i'm mad is that i've been gettin calls/IMs from various folks. Some,I haven't even talked too since middle school.

And each message is along the lines of "OMG YOUR GIRLFRIENDS GAY!" "OMG YOU MUST NOT HAVE BEEN A GOOD BOYFRIEND!" and the worst one "YOU MUST NOT BE GOOD IN BED"

Then today at walmart, i saw a girl name Denesha.(i worked with her at TCIM) And while the person is scanning my stuff she comes up to me and says

What the hell!?

1. How can my actions make hjher gay?
2. How does every one know about this?
3. Why does everyone care?
4. I already have enough stress with other things
5. Tias girlfriend is hot
6. How did everyone get my IM?

I know its minor but its gettin on my nerves.

Sef

Jul 20, 2005, 01:32 AM

On 2005-07-19 23:09, InfinityXXX wrote:
2. How does every one know about this?
3. Why does everyone care?

People are nosey. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

Well... People like to joke with and make fun of other people... Even when it comes down to really stupid things. They'll stop eventually(at least, I'd hope so).

Sorry to hear that the relationship didn't work out quite right, but glad that you two are still friends and you didn't break it off completely over this.

5. Tias girlfriend is hot

http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif

ai_no_usagi

Jul 20, 2005, 08:08 AM

perhaps people just assume that you were abusive/whatever because she decided to not like men AS SOON as she dumped you.
as to how they got your SN..that's weird. maybe they were at her house, and saw her talking to you online? I dunno...odd.

Solstis

Jul 20, 2005, 09:38 AM

You must have the worst luck in the Universe.

Bah! Gossiping hens!

navci

Jul 20, 2005, 09:51 AM

On 2005-07-19 23:09, InfinityXXX wrote:
1. How can my actions make Tia gay?

- Because. No one is supposed to be gay. It must be so traumatic. And I will bet you anything lots of guys will now set their mission to "set her straight".

2. How does every one know about this?

- Oh, bad news and gossip travel fast.

3. Why does everyone care?

- Well. They obviously have nothing better to do.

All things considered, I think you handled it rather well. Kudos to you. Hopefully people will leave you alone after a while. :<

Scejntjynahl

Jul 20, 2005, 10:37 AM

Only one question that comes to mind. Why was she with you to begin with? I would be a bit upset at the notion of been treated like a guinea pig. I mean, come on, it took one vacation to completely do a 180 and just denounce you all together? See since this is so hard to digest, people will try to find blame somewhere. Most logically you "drove" her away. And yes that is stupid to think that way, but if she had never given any other "clues" as to what she wanted and then just comes back a "different" person, people will talk.

My gripe is that I have a feeling she knew all along what she wanted, and she just strung you along to play it safe. That in my book is totally unfair and unjustified. You are a bigger person than me, for I would not be as nonchallant as you are.

Imagine that her girlfriend was a man, would you have accepted as easy?

[ This Message was edited by: Scejntjynahl on 2005-07-20 08:39 ]

Skorpius

Jul 20, 2005, 10:46 AM

It's women like this that give the gender a bad reputation.

No offense, it just sounds like she's quite a selfesh woman, and quite the gossip, too.

Solstis

Jul 20, 2005, 10:49 AM

On 2005-07-20 08:37, Scejntjynahl wrote:

Imagine that her girlfriend was a man, would you have accepted as easy?

[ This Message was edited by: Scejntjynahl on 2005-07-20 08:39 ]

That would be a different condition entirely. :/

Scejntjynahl

Jul 20, 2005, 10:52 AM

On 2005-07-20 08:49, Solstis wrote:

On 2005-07-20 08:37, Scejntjynahl wrote:

Imagine that her girlfriend was a man, would you have accepted as easy?

[ This Message was edited by: Scejntjynahl on 2005-07-20 08:39 ]

That would be a different condition entirely. :/

Unfaithfullness has conditions? Who knew >:(

InfinityXXX

Jul 20, 2005, 11:04 AM

Well evertime i think of how she just threw away 2 yrs i get mad but part of me thinks that shes not serious. I mean when i'm around her and her girlfriend its just too, fake. Its like shes advertising her sexuality everywhere. Tonguing in the store then talking all dirty in front of old people.

They even touch on each otherin public. I think shes up to something. But i don't know. I mean, i haven't done anything wrong for her to try to get back at me i been pasionate,loving, understanding. I let her get the last word in arguements. I buy her flowers. Write her poetry so i don't get why shes acting like this.

Scejntjynahl

Jul 20, 2005, 11:10 AM

Walk away from it. This will be hazardous to your well being. She has made her choice. Its time for you to make yours.

digigram

Jul 20, 2005, 11:16 AM

Infinity, she's a noob. Expect awkward and "out of the ordinary" bursts of abnormal "acting" gay. It will ease with time.

rena-ko

Jul 20, 2005, 11:50 AM

whats the issue.
so she tries a guy. she doesnt feel like its working and tries a girl.

i really want to know why people that are unqualified in this matter allow themselfes to jump to conclusions.

so, honestly, who cares. too bad your relationship doesnt turn out. but her sexuality and especially the reason behind her decisions is in the end nothing her own business. not even yours.

and i guess she doesnt really appreciate it that you openly spread names over the internet.

tetujin

Jul 20, 2005, 12:19 PM

Female's are gay? http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif

You mean lesbian http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif

Solstis

Jul 20, 2005, 12:26 PM

On 2005-07-20 10:19, tetujin wrote:
Female's are gay? http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif

You mean lesbian http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif

It works for both genders, but generally refers to males.

But yeah, I agree with rena-ko. Try not to get too involved, though.

[ This Message was edited by: Solstis on 2005-07-20 10:26 ]

InfinityXXX

Jul 20, 2005, 01:35 PM

On 2005-07-20 09:50, rena-ko wrote:
whats the issue.
so she tries a guy. she doesnt feel like its working and tries a girl.

i really want to know why people that are unqualified in this matter allow themselfes to jump to conclusions.

so, honestly, who cares. too bad your relationship doesnt turn out. but her sexuality and especially the reason behind her decisions is in the end nothing her own business. not even yours.

and i guess she doesnt really appreciate it that you openly spread names over the internet.

I care because i'm getting harassed over it. I don't care that shes gay, she don't care that everyone knows shes gay. She tells everyone shes gay when we're out. I don't care that our relationship is over. This is why i said this is not a love rant.

I'm mad because I feel that shes giving people my IM and phone number(she denys it) and havin people i haven't talked to in years talk bad about me. Now theres as big rumor about me and i can only imagine all the crap i'm gonna have to deal with when school starts. That is the rant.

Oh yeah, she doesn't care that i openly spread names(Tia is shortened version of a real name) over the internet. She spams chat rooms saying that shes gay and telling all her business and shes been to this site so shes read certain thing i posted. Tia has always(since 5th grade) had the "I don't care what people think" attitude.

I personally don't think I "turned" Tia gay but everyone on this board that has been through high schools know how majority of high school student(kids age 13-18) view this.

[ This Message was edited by: InfinityXXX on 2005-07-20 11:37 ]

Daikarin

Jul 20, 2005, 02:31 PM

There's a bit of basic notions a guy must have when dating a girl, which I see less and less as the days go by. I'm sorry for what happened Infinity, but next time be sure of what you get yourself into before making big-time decisions.

A man can't go to war if he doesn't know what odds he's against, what field he's playing on, and if he doesn't know his opponent fairly well.

EDIT: Thanks, Sef http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif

[ This Message was edited by: Even_Jin on 2005-07-20 13:44 ]

Scejntjynahl

Jul 20, 2005, 03:20 PM

On 2005-07-20 09:50, rena-ko wrote:
whats the issue.
so she tries a guy. she doesnt feel like its working and tries a girl.

Unfaithfullness.

i really want to know why people that are unqualified in this matter allow themselfes to jump to conclusions.

Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out when someone is getting played.

so, honestly, who cares. too bad your relationship doesnt turn out. but her sexuality and especially the reason behind her decisions is in the end nothing her own business. not even yours.

This is above gender typing, social stratifications, status quo, or sexuality. Simply put, she cheated. When someone seeks someone else behind someone's back who they are supposedly commited too... that is known as cheating. (notice gender plays no part in this)

and i guess she doesnt really appreciate it that you openly spread names over the internet.

On this point I concur. There are privacy issues that should be respected.

InfinityXXX

Jul 20, 2005, 03:34 PM

Like i said, shes seen this,(she mentions me in her blogs and i mention her on forums we respect each other by using false names for each other. Tia is not her real name, just a shortened version of her name)she doesn't care YET she still says that she didn't do anything on vacation.

I've concluded, that this is another one of her games, I don't think that shes really gay. Shes advertising it too much. I'm just gonna sit back and watch things unfold.

[ This Message was edited by: InfinityXXX on 2005-07-20 13:37 ]

Sef

Jul 20, 2005, 03:35 PM

On 2005-07-20 13:34, InfinityXXX wrote:
I've concluded, that this is another one of her games, I don't think that shes really gay. Shes advertising it too much. I'm just gonna sit back and watch things unfold.

I suppose if confronting her doesn't work, what else can you do? http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_confused.gif

Solstis

Jul 20, 2005, 03:36 PM

Oh, I thought that you had broken up prior. Funny how I can read words, and yet have them refuse to register in my mind.

InfinityXXX

Jul 20, 2005, 03:38 PM

We aren't together.
What do you mean?

Scejntjynahl

Jul 20, 2005, 03:57 PM

On 2005-07-20 13:38, InfinityXXX wrote:
We aren't together.
What do you mean?

Ok clear this up. Where you dating her while she was at vacation and then came back to tell you she is now gay?

InfinityXXX

Jul 20, 2005, 04:08 PM

We were dating while she was on vacation and then she came to me as soon as she got off saying that shes gay.

Sorry for the confusion..http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif

navci

Jul 20, 2005, 05:51 PM

On 2005-07-20 08:46, Skorpius wrote:
It's women like this that give the gender a bad reputation.

No offense, it just sounds like she's quite a selfesh woman, and quite the gossip, too.

-_-
Well. From what I understood from his rant. He actually wasn't having an issue of she being a lesbian, rather than people harassing him about it.

Rena-ko has a point. It really isn't about abandoning or throwing away whatever time you had; it is more like a realization of what feels right for her. She might not have done it the right way, to sort it out with infinity before going with this girl. But that is kinda beside the point. Point is, people are stupid.

Sorry it didn't turn out for infinity. Hope the next one will turn out smoother. Somehow, this reminds me of Ross from Friends (if you don't know what I am talking about, his wife turned out to be lesbian and divorced him). Mocking him about his wife was funny in the show, but IRL it really isn't that funny.

[ This Message was edited by: navinator on 2005-07-20 15:55 ]

opaopajr

Jul 21, 2005, 05:53 AM

hun, you seem to have the worst luck in the world. have you considered scouring a soccer field to find four-leafed clovers?

about Tia, she could be fakin' it or she could be "out with a vengeance," as it's said. often people who just leave the closet become hyper-gay -- they just need to broadcast to the whole world (with glitter and confetti and thumping house music). but i don't know her, you were with her, what, two years? and known since 5th grade? i'd assume you know more about her than we could, so i'll accept your assessment. if she's known to stir shit storms before i suggest doing like wise natives in the face of a hurricane -- step away.

Jett_Kakashi

Jul 21, 2005, 10:40 AM

Hmm....now what would I do if I was in this situation?

"Oh so you're lesbian now? Ok, your loss."

Yeah, its not a big deal. Ussually after awhile they find out they missed out on something golden. As for people harrasing you, if they think you were treating you wrong, then....thats their problem. Because they should've known that you would never treat her like a sack of crap. So, do what I do. Let people think what they think. You shouldn't really care about it. What you should care about is how you are going to get through this. Besides, theres plenty of fish in the sea to catch.

BogusKun

Jul 22, 2005, 01:57 AM

navci

Jul 22, 2005, 12:46 PM

On 2005-07-20 09:04, InfinityXXX wrote:
Well evertime i think of how she just threw away 2 yrs i get mad but part of me thinks that shes not serious. I mean when i'm around her and her girlfriend its just too, fake. Its like shes advertising her sexuality everywhere. Tonguing in the store then talking all dirty in front of old people.

I didn't read this when I posted my reply.
Now, I look at this and it does seem like you are quite sour; despite of what you said in your initial post how you were "okay" with it.

Fake? Who is to decide what is fake and what isn't?
Surely, I won't underestimate the stupiditiy of teenage girls who need to be all cool and be a lesbian in public; but your statement here is really contradict to what you said before. YOu are not okay with it, let's face it.

I mean, i haven't done anything wrong for her to try to get back at me i been pasionate,loving, understanding. I let her get the last word in arguements. I buy her flowers. Write her poetry so i don't get why shes acting like this.

This is where you have no idea how people can just realize they are homosexuals. You don't have to do anything WRONG. All it is is that because you are a man, instead of a woman.

I mean, the same would have gone for your girlfriend's girlfriend, if she had liked Tia, and Tia wasn't interested. All that is it is wrong with her is that she isn't a man. It works both ways. It really isn't the wrong of anybody.

Now.
Bogus-kun. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif That just is an incredibly horrible thing to say.

InfinityXXX

Jul 22, 2005, 01:28 PM

Hah Hah, Navi, you hit it on the head. Its like, i'm mad but i don't want it to control me... Ermm...I can't explain it really...http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif.

Lol, thanks for giving me that insight.

AxelgearVII

Jul 22, 2005, 02:39 PM

5. Tias girlfriend is hot

Have you ever thought of this situation as a blessing rather than a curse...? ._.

navci

Jul 22, 2005, 02:49 PM

On 2005-07-22 12:39, AxelgearVIII wrote:

5. Tias girlfriend is hot

Have you ever thought of this situation as a blessing rather than a curse...? ._.

How would this be a blessing? They maybe hot. But you are not part of it. I hate to say it, but it is comments like this that give dudes a bad name in case of "my girlfriend is gay".

Sef

Jul 22, 2005, 02:59 PM

On 2005-07-22 12:49, navinator wrote:
How would this be a blessing? They maybe hot. But you are not part of it. I hate to say it, but it is comments like this that give dudes a bad name in case of "my girlfriend is gay".

From the way this rant has gone, it looks like dudes have already got a bad name. ;o

Scejntjynahl

Jul 22, 2005, 03:21 PM

On 2005-07-22 12:39, AxelgearVIII wrote:

5. Tias girlfriend is hot

Have you ever thought of this situation as a blessing rather than a curse...? ._.

If they are lesbian that will excludes the guys. Unless Infinity is willing to have his willie cut off and take hormones to grow boobs your statement is rather moot.

[ This Message was edited by: Scejntjynahl on 2005-07-22 13:49 ]

Wyndham

Jul 22, 2005, 08:54 PM

On 2005-07-22 12:39, AxelgearVIII wrote:

5. Tias girlfriend is hot

Have you ever thought of this situation as a blessing rather than a curse...? ._.

um, obviously that is not the case.
I was considering making a similar comment, but having clearified first that it was purely a joke.

AxelgearVII

Jul 22, 2005, 10:50 PM

That it was. Sorry if I offended. >_>

You know walls have ears when it comes to big news such as yours. Friends tells friends who tell 2 friends and then 4...etc etc. The most important thing is that she knows you support her decision and that you 2 can at least remain friends. Im sure no one really beleive you turned your girlfriend into a lesbian. Thats sounds like something off of TV.

Daikarin

Jul 23, 2005, 05:04 PM

Infinity, if you're still feeling bad about this, just remember that guys can't drive women to lesbianism. If we're really bad lovers, the worst that could happen is getting dumped.

It's her choice, and it has nothing to do with you. So let her go, and let her find out about herself. And don't blame yourself because SHE is the one with the doubts.

[ This Message was edited by: Even_Jin on 2005-07-23 15:05 ]