Anubis's Big Fat Homosexual Thread...

[Anubis_]

So I was playing City of Heroes the other day and some how.. i dont remember,, I got into a conversation with a 16 year old girl about homosexuality. (Dont ask)


Girl- I have a few friends that have found out their gay...

Me- How do you found out your gay.. I mean either you choose to be or you dont right?

Girl- You don't choose to be.. you just are.

Me- What, so you saying the people that are gay dont have a choice?

Girl- People get beat up and made fun of all the time for being gay. Who would choose a life like that?

Me-Hey I've been in interacial relationships and I've had my share of bad talk too..

Girl- (inerupting me) Whats your point?

Me- I'm saying just because people make fun of you for something doesnt mean you wouldnt still rather do it. And peoples entire lives are choices. Not many things in life are things you cant make a decisions about.

Girl- Your so close minded. Your so thick headed.

Me- I'm not close minded.. I'm very open minded.

Girl- Is that what you think?

Me- I know I'm open minded, I understand what your saying.. and I can see how you could come to that conclusion. I just choose not to believe it.

anyways the arguement continues and someone on the team dies so we end up holding off the conversation for another day.

Keep in mind I knew in head of time the girl was only 16 so i endured some name calling.. I told her I enjoyed the arguemnet and i didnt really look at her bad for it... We actually exchanged global friends invites at the end of the argument.


I guess what I'm really trying to get around to is..
Do you guys think homosexuality is something that your born with, like something that you just are..

Or do you believe that it's something you choose to do?

[anwserman]

Coming from my own experience, I didn't choose to be gay but I do have the choice of participating in gay acts. However, in not participating I would lie to myself and not live a fulfulling life in that aspect, per say.

Basically, it boils down to this: You're given a set of scenarios and how you act/react to it is completely up to you.

[Kent]

From my understanding, it's a choice to some people, but not to other people.

For example, you could try out being in a homosexual relationship, and decide if you like it or not...

And for some, it just comes as a natural interest.

Sexual preference and fetishes fall into the same category, as far as psychosexuality goes.

[roygbiv]

What answerman said is basically accurate. Any discussion of "choice" vs. "nature" basically can boil down to this... people who are actually "gay" feel that they have no choice in the matter. They are attracted to members of the same sex and have no interest in the opposite sex, simple as that. (This becomes more confusing when you consider people who are bi... etc, but I don't want to get into any of that...)

[Saiffy]

Well, I had a discussion like this with a friend last night actually. I don't think I chose, or was born with homosexual thoughts. Did I ever think of guys that way the first 14 years of existence? Nope, it just sort of happened, and then there's some days that I'm more straight than gay, more gay than straight(If it isn't painfully obvious, I'm bi).

You can't decide who you find attractive physically, really, maybe you are born gay, but it just takes x amount of years for you to "figure it out". I dunno.

[Solstis]

To vageuly paraphrase Douglas Adams, it's a whole sort of general "mish-mash."

I could spend 30 minutes trying to explain "queer theory," dipping into genders (and the actual lack thereof, or mixing of) and heterosexism, and end up where I started.

So... mish. Mash.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Solstis on 2005-10-24 05:14 ]</font>

[Skorpius]

I'll be hated by a few for this:

You aren't born gay. You do not come out of the womb as a homosexual. However, the way you live your life will dictate how you behave, thus homosexuality comes from it.

I say this because it's nature, instincts tell us to reproduce, and we're suposed to do it. However, we're smarter than nature, and end up bahving differently due to our surroundings and how we grew up.

The sexual acts that occur, though, are natural because they feel good. Something good happens, we want to do it again. If something bad happens, we want it to never happen again. This can be an active role in someone's childhood to make them dislike the opposite sex, due to abuse and molestation.

Bottom line, though, is that Homosexuality is not natural, in the sense that leaves grow on trees. You aren't born with a rainbow flag in your hands and a cry "I LIKE BOYS" when you're 5. It happens psychologically. Granted, you may not have a say in the matter, but that's how it happens. A person still should not be riddiculed by others because they do what feels good, and makes them happy, as long as it doesn't hurt others (or themself).

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

EDIT: Yeah, better wording there.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Skorpius on 2005-10-24 05:18 ]</font>

[Maridia]

All that I know is that I didn't choose to find girls incredibly attractive. I just suddenly realised one day that I did. End of story.

[anwserman]

On 2005-10-24 05:16, Skorpius wrote:
I'll be hated by a few for this:

You aren't born gay. You do not come out of the womb as a homosexual. However, the way you live your life will dictate how you behave, thus homosexuality comes from it.

I say this because it's nature, instincts tell us to reproduce, and we're suposed to do it. However, we're smarter than nature, and end up bahving differently due to our surroundings and how we grew up.

The sexual acts that occur, though, are natural because they feel good. Something good happens, we want to do it again. If something bad happens, we want it to never happen again. This can be an active role in someone's childhood to make them dislike the opposite sex, due to abuse and molestation.

Bottom line, though, is that Homosexuality is not natural, in the sense that leaves grow on trees. You aren't born with a rainbow flag in your hands and a cry "I LIKE BOYS" when you're 5. It happens psychologically. Granted, you may not have a say in the matter, but that's how it happens. A person still should not be riddiculed by others because they do what feels good, and makes them happy, as long as it doesn't hurt others (or themself).

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

EDIT: Yeah, better wording there.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Skorpius on 2005-10-24 05:18 ]</font>


What about homosexually occuring in nature then?
Monkeys and other animals that engage in homosexual acts have no concept or understanding of what homosexuality is - let alone be raised with such an environment to alter their psychological attributes engage in such activities. (I don't think swinging from limb to limb and shrieking at each other would be the prime environment for 'breeding' homosexuality, but that involves monkeys and is technically another subject.)

However, I do know the fact that I did not choose to be this way.

[Solstis]

I do hope that no one takes what Skorpius states as being fact, as, well, nothing has been proven yet. Yes, there may be more mental aspects to it, but there are more than likely biological factors as well.

[navci]

I have quote studies so many times about this and I will quote it again because it is a good study.

One of the strongest evidence that biological do indeed play a part in the development of homosexuality is studying of identical twins. They are essentially the same person, right? Now, twins that has been seperated from birth growing up in different environment, have different life experience, ended up both being homosexual. (not just a single case either!)I am really oversimplifying things here, but it is what it is in a nutshell.

The flip side of the coin, identical twins that both grew up in the same family, environment, grew up together. One turns out to be homosexual, the other didn't. What does that mean?
It really boils down to what Answerman already said, there is prolly something in your genes that makes it so you are more likely to find someone your own gender attractive. In the end, whether or not you decide to go ahead with that lifestyle is up to you. We all get a set of scenerios, some more complicated than others. It is your life, you deal with it.

Nature or Nurture?
Both. Behaviours are not like eye colour, it is an ever lasting interaction. One thing makes another and another makes another. If you ever think it could be predetermined by genes or environment alone, then you really don't know the scope of how complex we are as human beings.

--
On a side note. Monkeys and other animals that engaged in homosexual behaviours are considered "social behaviours" by scientist. One species in particular, have sex whenever, before meals, after meals, group sex with mixed gender. It is a social thing, to strengthen bonds, .. er, practice. Communicate. What is sexual behaviour in human? Do we have sex like gorillas? Once a year aiming to fertilize and make babies? I don't think so. The way I see it is that in the old times everyone is attracted to everyone. It was never just reproduction, yes, that's important too. But we human never really was just born to reproduce, we are curious. We explore. I think that has really just stopped being something we CAN do once the religious doctrine comes into the picture. Then again, it is a complex matter, can't blame it on one single factor.

All in all. It is a complex matter, don't try to make it simple cuz it really isn't.

[Scejntjynahl]

Trying to use science to explain feelings is absurd. You feel it or you don't. Homosexuality is too heavily critized in the sexual act, hardly ever on the feelings it produces. It is the primal attraction you have for a person, that feeling that been with that person somehow makes everything better in your life. Regardless of gender. I can not use a damn computer to tell me whom I would love to be with, not look at my family tree to dictate who will be in my life, it is the halls within my heart that will whisper to me whom I love.

But like navi said, this is far too complex to be settled easily. Especially within a forum with a diverse group of people with diverse and personal experiences, there will be no answer that will satisfy any of us completely.

[TheOneHero]

I haven't read everyone's post, so I'm not sure if this has been said.

People are born with disabilities. (Come on guys, ever been in high school biology?)

Like, the XXX chromosome factor, I belive it's female in appearance, but it's really a guy genetically. (I could be wrong, but you get the idea.)

Same goes for XXY, male in appearance, but really a girl. What the hell are you gonna do? It's like you're gay no matter who you choose to be in a relationship with.

Some people can't help being bi do to birth problems, while others choose to be.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: TheOneHero on 2005-10-24 12:24 ]</font>

[Solstis]

On 2005-10-24 12:24, TheOneHero wrote:
I haven't read everyone's post, so I'm not sure if this has been said.

People are born with disabilities. (Come on guys, ever been in high school biology?)

Like, the XXX chromosome factor, I belive it's female in appearance, but it's really a guy genetically. (I could be wrong, but you get the idea.)

Same goes for XXY, male in appearance, but really a girl. What the hell are you gonna do? It's like you're gay no matter who you choose to be in a relationship with.

Some people can't help being bi do to birth problems, while others choose to be.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: TheOneHero on 2005-10-24 12:24 ]</font>


http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_confused.gif

How about being a male and liking males? Being a female and liking females? Being a female, deciding to change to male, and end up dating boys and girls? The reverse? Something even "odder?"

Er, next time, read the rest of the posts. I don't think that the XXX and XXY chromosome factors really apply to many people that self identify as queer. If you meant something else, I completely missed it.

[TheOneHero]

On 2005-10-24 12:29, Solstis wrote: I don't think that the XXX and XXY chromosome factors really apply to many people that self identify as queer. If you meant something else, I completely missed it.



Err, I'll see if I can explain a little better. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime2.gif

You were born a female genetically, but are a male in appearance.

Let's say you love a female. Now, in the world's eyes, this is fine. (Since you're a male in appearance.) But genetically, you're bi because you were born a female.

Now let's say you love a male, genetically this is correct, but in appearance this is would be bi because you're male in appearance.

No matter which way you go, you're bi.

Does this help at all? I apologize if it's a little vague, it's kinda difficult to explain without confusing. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime2.gif

[ABDUR101]

TOH, no.

Just because you look like a man, but have female sexual organs, and like girls, doesn't make you heterosexual. Nor does it make you bisexual.

I think you're looking at it from the wrong angle entirely.


This topic has been done so many damn times on this forum, and every damn time it ends in failure.

Look, this will sum it up, for everyone, until the end of time: Who really gives a shit and why?

It's akin to the question of does grass have a soul/consciousness or does it merely exist as it is.

Whether you're born with a gear towards the same sex, or you acquire it, whether by preference or basic instinct, is a moot point. The how's and why's of such questions need not be worried about. They just are, and until there is clear proof, and everyone can be astounded and say "God damn, it was right there, for all this time and we never saw it." then why waste thought processes on it?

I think it doesn't need to be diluded down to cut and dry answers, people depend on cut and dry answers for too many things, just accept things for what they are, and that they occur, and accept it for what it is. The world is not meant to be spelt out.

[geewj]

On 2005-10-24 05:16, Skorpius wrote:
I'll be hated by a few for this:

You aren't born gay. You do not come out of the womb as a homosexual. However, the way you live your life will dictate how you behave, thus homosexuality comes from it.

I say this because it's nature, instincts tell us to reproduce, and we're suposed to do it. However, we're smarter than nature, and end up bahving differently due to our surroundings and how we grew up.

The sexual acts that occur, though, are natural because they feel good. Something good happens, we want to do it again. If something bad happens, we want it to never happen again. This can be an active role in someone's childhood to make them dislike the opposite sex, due to abuse and molestation.

Bottom line, though, is that Homosexuality is not natural, in the sense that leaves grow on trees. You aren't born with a rainbow flag in your hands and a cry "I LIKE BOYS" when you're 5. It happens psychologically. Granted, you may not have a say in the matter, but that's how it happens. A person still should not be riddiculed by others because they do what feels good, and makes them happy, as long as it doesn't hurt others (or themself).

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

EDIT: Yeah, better wording there.


Keeping in mind what solstis said about not knowing the absolute fact about it all, I agree with skorp to an extent.

Some of it is your genetic make up, but not a homosexual indicator or anything. Just a few things that for one reason or another lean towards being attracted to the same sex. All homosexuals might not even have the same tiny little genetic extremities. Like people who are really smart for example. Sure they are all smart, but they are all smart differently. No two are smart in the exact same way.

And the other, and more influencial I think, is how your life went. How you grew up, how you think. All the little things you gained in your life that pull together and make you who you are. This is more of where I agree with skorp. You live, you form opinions, and become who you are. The only difference is that we don't all come from the exact same mold.

Meh, more or less.

[ai_no_usagi]

well, I think sometimes you just realize that you're gay. like, sometimes you just need a little push in the right direction. like if you go all your life thinking you're straight, and then kiss another boy/girl one day *for whatever reason* then you could realize, "holy shit! I never knew this about myself!"
but then there's also people that just become gay because of say, parental issues. if you're dad wasn't around, then you may be more inclined to like men because of a lack in male figures *same goes for women too*.
or you could just be gay all your life. I think that's valid too, that some people are just born gay.
I think it all just depends on the person, and their situations, but there can be gays that aren't just born gay. so I think she was wrong in that argument.


also: dolphins and monkeys.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: ai_no_usagi on 2005-10-24 13:30 ]</font>

[Skorpius]

On 2005-10-24 07:07, anwserman wrote:
What about homosexually occuring in nature then?
Monkeys and other animals that engage in homosexual acts have no concept or understanding of what homosexuality is - let alone be raised with such an environment to alter their psychological attributes engage in such activities.

That falls under the catagory of "It feels good, so I do it". Animals do what makes them feel good, but they aren't homosexual. They will breed with females later on, so this point becomes invalid as an argument towards "natural homosexuality". This just doesn't count, and it is ALWAYS used as an argument against me, everywhere, all the time, whenever this subject arises. It just isn't the same as human homosexuality.

A person who has sexual relations with the same sex will usually only do that with the sex, and never "go back". This happens for reasons that only occur in the human world (society, psychology). "Homosexualism" has bled into many, minor things, such as (what Maridia said) just finding the same sex attractive makes you gay, or to a larger extent, getting pleasure from the same sex.

Homosexuality should only be labeled as the complete exclusion of the opposite sex in one's sexual life. The thing is, do you choose to exclude them? You don't have to, so why do you? You don't find them attractive? Do you really think all males/female are ugly? Why can't you love a male/female the way you love a female/male? What HONESTLY can really be the difference between two humans?

[astuarlen]

Abdur is right (as usual, the wise one http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif) that questions concerning the factors which determine/contribute to one's sexuality are largely academic. It's kind of like arguing about the origin of the universe; whether you believe in the big bang or take the words of Genesis as literal truth, the argument has no impact on physical reality, most would agree.
However, in this case, the "why" question of sexuality may have some real life repercussions. It seems that one's views on the ultimate source of homosexuality (or bisexuality) may affect how one views or treats gays/bis. Of course this is not true of all individuals holding such beliefs, but I think there is an implicit (negative) attitude imbedded in the "choice argument", as opposed to other views which see homosexuality as a product of genetics and/or other factors beyond the individual's control. The belief that homosexuality is a choice is often found alongside the belief that homosexuality is also wrong/sinful/unnatural--and, by extension, that homosexuals are themselves morally corrupted. So, while I don't know that we will ever definitively know the probably-complex reasons behind homosexuality, judging from all I've heard from LGB community, I must conclude that it is not a matter of simple choice. One may be able to deny oneself a cookie, but one should not have to deny one's very self (except when harmful to others).

Edit:


On 2005-10-24 14:38, Skorpius wrote:
Homosexuality should only be labeled as the complete exclusion of the opposite sex in one's sexual life. The thing is, do you choose to exclude them? You don't have to, so why do you? You don't find them attractive? Do you really think all males/female are ugly? Why can't you love a male/female the way you love a female/male? What HONESTLY can really be the difference between two humans?

I guess I don't see what you're getting at. The same can be said for heterosexuals: barring rare instances of "experimentation" don't most heterosexuals exclude the same sex? And is that because a heterosexual man or woman finds all his or her chromosomal peers ugly? I would venture a "no" on this point. Personally, I consider women to be much more "beautiful" than men, but I'm not sexually attracted to women. So, what is your point? Such feelings are instinctual (a crude word for this, perhaps) rather than consciously reasoned. True, one may choose to act upon those feelings in a variety of ways, but that's a different matter entirely. And even that choice should not be denied to anyone based on sexuality. Also, why can't you love a man in the same way as you love a woman? Is it not unfair to ask this question of homosexuals but not heterosexuals?

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: astuarlen on 2005-10-24 14:58 ]</font>

[ABDUR101]

However Skorp, how many animals actually mate for life? There are cases where some same-sex birds mated for life, and I'm sure if I cared enough I could find where it was found that other species were reported to have mated for life as well. Not just same-sex, mind you.

And also, your arguement is nullified because animals that fuck males and females regularly, most often they aren't even the same males and females, as in, not-mated/paired.

Humans are on the same wavelegnth, some mate for life, some fuck just to do it, because the opportunity is there. Same sex or not.

It's a wide picture to try and paint, but we can fathom it. Again, there's no use trying to paint such a picture, just fathom it's size and depth and don't worry about it.

[Solstis]

A person who has sexual relations with the same sex will usually only do that with the sex, and never "go back". This happens for reasons that only occur in the human world (society, psychology). "Homosexualism" has bled into many, minor things, such as (what Maridia said) just finding the same sex attractive makes you gay, or to a larger extent, getting pleasure from the same sex.


Wrong.

Ever hear of experimentation? Look back at Kinsey. Not all people that engage in sexual acts with the same sex later identify as homosexual. You're oversimplifying the most complex thing that I have ever studied or looked in to - the human mind.

Listen to Abdur. Why bother? Does it make people feel better to construct a bigger and better box?

Oh, and sorry Skorpius, not everyone finds "x" sex attractive. It happens. We don't have to conform to an ideal of bisexuality, just as we don't have to conform to an ideal of homo or heterosexuality.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Solstis on 2005-10-24 14:53 ]</font>

[Skorpius]

On 2005-10-24 14:40, astuarlen wrote:
I guess I don't see what you're getting at. The same can be said for heterosexuals:

No, because this is natural. TO reproduce, you need SPERM + EGG, which means sexual relations of MALE x FEMALE. Natural law dictates us to gravitate towards the opposite sex to reproduce our species. Many factors of human psychology fight agaist that law of nature, but we still are NOT born with it.



On 2005-10-24 14:50, ABDUR101 wrote:

I'm not sure what this had to do with anything. Sorry, I just don't understand what you're getting at. Sure, not all animals mate for life, that's nature. Only a few of them actually pair up and stay that way, and it's more common in birds. But birds aren't related to humans as mammals are, and it's natural to most mammals to mate with several different partners (whatever that words is, it'll come to me later).

And also, your arguement is nullified because animals that fuck males and females regularly, most often they aren't even the same males and females, as in, not-mated/paired.

That actually enhances my argument. Animals don't natually stick to homosexual activities, they do it because they can. The argument of male animals mounting other animals is nullified against my statements because of this.



On 2005-10-24 14:52, Solstis wrote:
Wrong.
Ever hear of experimentation? Look back at Kinsey. Not all people that engage in sexual acts with the same sex later identify as homosexual. You're oversimplifying the most complex thing that I have ever studied or looked in to - the human mind.
I didn't say it would happen 100% of the time. Most people that end up being with a partner in a same sex relationship will exclude the opposite sex from their life from then on.

And since I really don't feel like arguing with PRO-GAY statements, I'm ending this post with unfinished ideas. It seems that people like to be all GAY IS OK because it makes them feel noble, and throw it around where it doesn't belong. Defending homosexuality when it isn't under attack really gets on my nerves. I'm not sure why people need to make it seem like homosexuality is some superspecial thing, it really isn't, but since it makes them feel better, I'm going to end my post.

I spoke my mind in my earlier posts, made my points, and they were misunderstood. Honestly, if you're curious as to what I'm trying to say, you can contact me on AIM or MSN. Until then, I'm staying away from this issue. Everywhere it comes up, people tend to overcomplicate the issue.

I apologize if I offended anyone, I don't mean to make anyone angry, sorry.

[ABDUR101]

On 2005-10-24 16:08, Skorpius wrote:
Everywhere it comes up, people tend to overcomplicate the issue.


Exactly, because it is a complicated issue in and of itself.

[Solstis]

Skorp Wrote:
And since I really don't feel like arguing with PRO-GAY statements, I'm ending this post with unfinished ideas. It seems that people like to be all GAY IS OK because it makes them feel noble, and throw it around where it doesn't belong. Defending homosexuality when it isn't under attack really gets on my nerves. I'm not sure why people need to make it seem like homosexuality is some superspecial thing, it really isn't, but since it makes them feel better, I'm going to end my post.

As a Radical Leftist, I see where you're going with this. Yes, people do "protect" or defend some minority interest because it makes them feel good. People also try to prove them wrong because they feel as if it's a noble quest. The whole concept of the "Grand March" and everyone unifying for some bullshit cause annoys me.

You defined homosexuality as something inherently wrong, and mentioned that people will still fight against their instincts. I won't even touch that whole procreation issue, since society apparently hasn't progressed enough to consider alternate forms as being equally valid. Are people just primitave creatures? I hope not.

My bad.

Oh, and considering that a nice amount of the people in this thread self identify as homosexual (me) or bisexual, I'm sure that it isn't just some noble quest. Hur hur, I'm not going to take it to AIM or MSN because you posted your views on a public forum. People are not going to agree with you. They will post their digressions.

You disagreed with me. You posted on it. I do not expect you to PM or IM me, nor do I particularly want to hold this conversation over such a device because I feel that it would be pointless. Why did I bother replying? People are easily swayed by strong voices. Skorpius, your voice is definitely one of those, and I happen to think that you are a well-read, intelligent person. At the same time, I think that you couldn't be any more off on a lot of issues.

I seek to counter strong voices, especially those that support the norm and the majority.
I feel that it is my "noble" quest as a postmodernist and a deconstructionist. Change is nice. Disorder is a sign of progression.

[Edit]: Reinforced some ideas, fixed some stupid grammatical errors.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Solstis on 2005-10-24 17:00 ]</font>

[Solstis]

On 2005-10-24 17:05, DLShAdOw wrote:
now i'm not a homophobe, but don't include me in your gay acts. i'll be friends with you but don't make out with guys around me.


Yes, let's all make everyone hide themselves in order to make you happy.

I live to make others feel good about themselves, and to affirm their place in the world. Man, I'm glad that I was born to serve.

If you go "ew" when you see two guys make out, you are still a homophobe. If you go "ew" when a guy and a girl make out, you have problems just as deeply rooted.

Now I kinda see what Skorpius was trying to say earlier.


The thing is, do you choose to exclude them? You don't have to, so why do you? You don't find them attractive? Do you really think all males/female are ugly? Why can't you love a male/female the way you love a female/male? What HONESTLY can really be the difference between two humans?

I will look at the occasional female, but I have no romatic feelings towards any. At the same time, I won't shun the other sex just because I'm a homosexual. If I saw a picture of a naked woman, I'd probably shrug and move on.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Solstis on 2005-10-24 17:11 ]</font>

[navci]

On 2005-10-24 16:47, ABDUR101 wrote:


On 2005-10-24 16:08, Skorpius wrote:
Everywhere it comes up, people tend to overcomplicate the issue.


Exactly, because it is a complicated issue in and of itself.



Best line in thread, and the one thing that I agree on.

I felt that no one has really read my post about human complexity. (I am so sad now) Nothing is simple about humans' higher cognitive function, ever. Thoughts and feelings are not like the jerk of your knee, your eyeblinking, or your sneezing.

As for acceptance. Many would like to say "I am okay with it as long as you don't include/hit on/make out around me". If that is the case, you are not okay with it. No need to pretend and kid yourself that you do. And don't get me started on how "gay is gross" but "lesbians are hawt" thing.

[Orange_Coconut]

This is a touchy subject, but I don't think that anyone is really qualified to say how it works or how it can't work. Everybody is different, people do things that they enjoy doing, people talk to others who they enjoy talking to, people get involved in relationships with those they are attracted to.

Attraction is different for everyone. Hetersoexual, homosexual, bisexual -- It just doesn't matter. Even just looking at one kind of relationship, take heterosexual for example, there are men and women who look for different things in who they would like to develop a relationship with. Part of it is the physical attraction, there is also how long/how you got to know this other person and their personality. There are other little things like something they do that you find cute, nervous habits, etc. But it's different all around for everyone.

Whether influenced, born with, discovered, it just doesn't matter. The fact is that everyone has their own reasons and their own experiences that have led them to where they are now in their life. Sometimes people chase dream relationships that, when they actually get close to or actually into the relationship, the dream becomes nothing more than a dull experience. For a lot of people relationships in general are trial and error, you think you know certain things that you like in a certain person but then find out things that turn you off from that kind of relationship or person.

That's not always true either, sometimes people find what they're looking for the first time they experience a relationship. There are also those who would rather live alone than have someone live with them.

Like I said, I don't think that anyone is really qualified to make such a decision as to whether it is natural or not because there is no certain way that relationships work out. They all work out in different ways as in there are different things that determine what someone finds attractive and what doesn't interest them at all.

It could be said that I don't know what I'm talking about, well just looking at all the opinions on this post I think it's safe to say that there are many different people who have posted different opinions on the subject. Even the ones who agree with one side say more to back up what they believe in themselves, there isn't a general way to look into a subject like this. Everyone has their opinions, I understand that, I'm just stating mine.