Good For Nothing.

[Kuea]

well... lets see

right now my sister is in Vancouver participating in a Tae Kwon Do tournament

so her and Mr.Adams ( instructor ) are on their way driving home right now

so earlier me and my mom planned on leaving earlyier today to visit people and wait for em to reach westbank where we would pick daphne up.

instead, she did what she usually does, laze about the house doing nothing

so about 30 minutes ago I found out she was now gonna leave at 9 to visit one friend and wanted me to come along to keep her awake ( she always wants someone with her in the car when driving late at night so she doesn't fall asleep )

so when she told me this, I said I was busy and couldn't go. Plus I have been sick alot lately. I cant even ride in a car without getting severly car sick.

I haven't been eating much or doing much and all I've been doing is toughing it out. I have to tough it out since if I tell my mom I'm feeling sick she usually gives me the, "take a tylenol" line. but if she is sick, she wants me to pamper her and do every little thing for her

so then it was 9 and she wanted to go and I told her I wasn't gonna go

so now, she is in all a huff and got mad. Started yellign and going on about how I am worthless and good for nothing and how I only do stuff when I want to and not when someone else wants me to

yes it's true, I don't have a job. but I do go to school. I don't often do my homework cause it's either done at school, or it's something I need a partner or a teachers help for

and it's also true I now don't help around the house very much any more. It;s because most of the mess, is my mom's and I refuse to clean up after her. ( although I am guilty for alot of the loose soda cans http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime2.gif )

so I was busy and mom was getting all huffy and yelling and insulting me. I said I'd go back upstairs quickly finish what I was doing and go with her

but No. She just went on about how I'm worthless and said she didn't want me coming and she stormed out of the house

now... all she ever does is put stress on me or insult me or some bullshit

why I still live at home? I don't have a job and not very much money.

my last bank account, guess who got all the money from it? my mom.

seriously now... before mom had told me we were going at 9, I went downstairs to cook me somethign to eat because I was feelign really sick and thought something to eat would help.

but now, I can't even eat what I cooked. I am so mad at her and streesed out and stuff I just can't bring myself to eat http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_mad.gif

I know I don't eat very often at all and that I should. But generally thats because there isn't always food here to eat. It's basically by choice and I can generally eat if there is food.

but this is the first time I've not been able to eat even though I want to.

now see... this is only for today

I've been wantign to write a rant about my family for a while so I may as well do it now

Grandma - well lets see... She is stubborn, pushey and doesn't wait for anyone. She eats everyting fast as well.

now if she wants to go to the store, she'll yell upstairs and say "I wanna go to teh store, Lets go." and when I get downstairs, she is all dressed up with her wheelchair halfway out the door. so she's basically forcing me to go since there is 6 stairs to get the chair out to te lobby, and 3 to get outside to the ground. past that, she is like 68 and has bad knees and back problems. so of course I can't let her go alone.

now as for food, my sister bought a hugh block of cheese to last a while. Now if I made myself a cheese sandwich 3 times a day, as well as have a slice when I feel peckish, it would last over a month. maybe 10 days later all of it is gone. My gramma ate it all. she even cuts up a ton of slices and keeps in in her room.

now for sweets, she is diabetic, yet she''l eat them like there's no tommorow :/

a while ago I had bought around 10 packs of oreo's to build a mega cookie to top ToH's but guess who ate all of my frozen centers? my gramma.

Sister - now... like myself, she has had a shitty childhood. She had to deal with my dad as well as the rest of our shitty family. because of how we were raised, my sister basically raised me.

now... she is about 25-26 now? I forgot, but she is immature and all... bleh

well she had a crush on an old Tae Kwon Do instructor Mr.Black. but however, he got murdered by his wife. now she was sad and pretty broken up at that. and now, she is back in TKD and has a new instructor, Mr.Adams.

guess what, She has a thing for him as well. She constantly bugs me with questions like, "does he like me?" "ooh~ I wonder if I said somethign wrong to him, he didn't reply to my email joke"

she stays up at night worrying he doesn't like her and crap and buging me about it all.

to top it off, my family has believed in spirits for as long as I can remember. Now, she loves to think that Mr.Black is always around her and following her... all I do is agree so I don't hurt her. but seriously, why would he choose her to follow after death? I don't think he would.

now... I share my room with her. She is like 25+ and sleeps in my room, because she doesn't want the other spare room :/

I love her... I really do but she gets on my nerves so much ><

mother - I love her... I really do. but she is a bitch!

now, for my 17 bday, a year ago, my gramma gave me money for my bday

before school I went out and bought a few games. During school, my mom comes to school and using the claim I "stole" the money from my gramma, and took all the moeny and the games. So... guess what? she returned the games for the moeny and kept it all.

she tried it again this year. I was pretty pissed.

My mom never pays her bills. I usually have to pay them. if anything, I have to pay them, and she doesn't even mention them untill a day before, or on the day they are due.

instead, she sits in her bed all day sleeping or watching TV. she doesn't clean often... opr even at all. it is very rare that she will clean or cook or anything.

when she gets sick or is hurting or something she expects everyone to bow to her and do her every whim.

Dad - well... he hasn't often been here for me. in fact, when I did used to go to his house for a wwek when I was like 7, I was the child he treated worst. if any other kid made a mess, I had to clean it up.

he was abusive and negligant. He broke my moms nose. He did alot of stuff.

in fact, one thign he did was to adopt like 3-4 kids and then treat me like I was the adopted one well thye weren't.

he is such a shitty parent, lemme point out how my half brother patrick turned out because he lived with him.


HE FUCKING CUT CATS IN HALF

Seriously, he cut them apart and mutilated them.

Aunt/Cousins - My aunt is a semi-bitch. She treats her idiotic son like a god and refuses to believe anything bad about him.

the son is a fucking druggie. when babysitting alex and nicky, he'll igonre them completely. He'll go up stairs and blast his music or play Video games. Or even get one of his friends to come over and watch the kids well he leaves to smoke weed.

Their mother is a slut. She has been pregnant 5 times. she can't hold a job.

their father is irresponsible, but he is actually a very nice guy. if he was a touch more responsible he could be a very good father.

yet again... why do I still live here? I am 18 and I can move out. It's because I have no money. I am still in school. and as much as they make me wanna die, they are still my family.

I really am going crazy here ._.

I have friends at school but because of how I was raised, I have no clue how to deal with friends.

every friend I have ever had, ends up hating me or just not caring at all.

I am always scared of losing friends so I have a hard time making or keeping them.

I am also violent. I can't really help it but I tend to be physical. When walking around town with my friend matt, I tend to kick, poke, punch or other wise cause some sort of mild pain <_<;;;

he's still my friend though o: he may be a little weird... actually he is very frigging weird XD but hey he's a friend http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

I don't know what I am goign to do after school. in fact I don't even know what I'm gonna do one week form now.

bleh... I think thats all I can think of for now

sorry for ranting so much ._.;;

[Skuda]

http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif

poor eclair.

that's... about all I can say.

does you mom even have a job? or is she living off of wellfare cheques?

that's... pretty bad compared to my life's story.

once again... http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif

[ABDUR101]

Well I can tell you one thing, none of them will support you. The moment they feel you are truely worthless, is the day they kick you out and forget you exist.

You get badgered so much, because thats a way to keep you in check and doing what they want you to do. If you're feeling horrible about yourself, they can have abit of control over you, and when they do extremely minor things that should be common between family members, it makes you feel extremely good. Sort of like a father who goes for grocceries or christmas shopping, but comes home short every time, that way when he does do something entirely right, it's almost like christmas came early.

I say finish your schooling, and after that, work on getting a job. It doesn't have to be a fantastic job, just a job for your own income. And then maybe see if your friend can go the same route and if he's someone you'd want to have as a room-mate. I'm not sure on costs of apartments and so on where you live, but check into it. I do know, that the environment you're in, and the people in it, are not healthy for you. You will end up doing something extreme and drastic to get out of it if you don't work toward getting out of there.

As for not knowing what you're going to do after school, or even a week from now. I don't know what I'm going to do any day of the week, except work, and come home, and eventually goto sleep to wake up to another day of work. You don't need to know what you're going to do, just have an idea.

But then I just never thought it plausible to plan my life, expecially when I wasn't sure what direction I wanted to go. There are too many paths, there's no need to choose indecisively.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

If it helps at all, my condolences.

I completely failed the social aspect of American High Schools. Some people consider that the only aspect.

My friends ditched me by the end of the year for no reason at all. They stole asentimental picture out of my locker(who I was the one to sign up for not them, and they took over it) as well in their haste to steal everything out of the locker except one picture of me, on the last day of school.

I was having some problems going to school everyday, mental-pill issues. I barely passed second half- pulling down a 3.5 GPA honors marks first half since if I'm motivated and if the teacher was nice- I would do all the work- learn the material, and pass the tests.

I can't make friends around here. I'm nice and all, but yeah. I also have really bad anger issues, and always have due to certain events in my childhood- that I don't share with anybody. Work stress is the main cause right now though. I haven't talked about it lately, but I'm really pulling my hair out.

Who wants to hang out after work with the guy cussing and slamming things at work?

I'm lucky to even have a job when I act up like this.

My family stuff isn't half as bad as yours, but it still affects me as well. I also don't really want to talk about that too much.
-

I used to have a friend who didn't have a father around. His mother doesn't do much at all, playing yahoo games, going out to gamble sometimes by borrwing his money, and driving around buying fast food and running ouside to the ice cream man who passes by. His grandmother supports them all basically.

I can't judge them or anything and his mother isn't motivated to do much with her life. She doesn't have to being supported by other family.

A friend of my mother's has three kids at home with no father around also.

Those kids constantly bicker, fight, call eachother gay, insult eachother and things in front of their mom, my mom, and I when we happen to be hanging out together.

I really don't know what to do in that situation. If I joke around as well they keep doing it. I try to stop them and they keep doing it since its not really my place to do so and they look forward to having me hang out with them when I can.
-

So it is always hard when your parents are not around or are abusive.

Don't end up going down that path as well if you decide to have children later on down the line, yeah?

You know exactly how not to act by seeing firsthand how badly the people around you act.

Take things one step at a time like Abdur said. Finishing school is important, and you might as well while its still free. If you don't or can't finish school for whatever reason, that doesn't mean you won't be successful. You certainly can be successful without finishing school.

Try to find more ways to deal with stress. More time to yourself, more time to relax, get out of the house for a bit, new hobbies, whatever it takes.

If your school offers counseling, look into it.
Free phone hotlines to counseling/teen/mental health services are out there as well. I have used some in the past and am not ashamed of it at all. It was a great deal of help when I had a lot of problems going on with me.

Also if at all possible, let the insults slide off of you. You know who you are, what you are, and why. Don't let someone force negative self worth upon you. You know when someone's talking out of their ass and lying to your face about who you are and aren't. Yelling happens in a family, to everybody.

Take things one step at a time, don't get frustrated and give up if things don't work out on the first try.

Do your best and nobody can find fault with you for that.