I said no, come on!

[navci]

Well anyway.
There is this creepy dude who has been hovering around the store lately. He creeps me out. I am not sure why, but my co-worker thought he was creepy too; she also said I have "being creeped out now" all over my face whenever he has to talk to me.

This morning, creepy dude came in, wanted to look at a knife.
Sure. Showed it, talked about the knife. All business. Once he is done, I returned to whatever I was doing, no chit-chatting. Not interested.
He called later on, asking the prices of the knife. Gave it to him.
Called about an hour later again, said he has forgetten the price of the knives. wtf. Fine, gave them again.
Then he started to strike up a conversation with me. Asking when I am off work, how many hours do I work, etc. I was trying to be nice, but didn't like one bit where the conversation was going. Eventually he mentioned how he'd like to have coffee with me sometime.

me: (;ºДº)

I tried to be as vague as I can be.

him: So when is your next day off?
me: I don't have any days off at the moment.
him: I thought you said you get Monday and Tuesdays off? ( I said that way before, like WAY before, as conversation piece)
me: Er ya. But I have work to do. I got volunteering.
him: (trying to strike up more convo and such)
me: Ya I will really busy for the rest of the month. (talked more about busy stuff, trying to bring the convo back to business, like I'll call you when that other knife you wanted come in, like, next week!)
him: I'd like to be friends with you. I think you are really interesting.
me: >.> (want to just hang up)
him: I kinda like you
me: (;ºДº)(;ºДº)(;ºДº)(;ºДº)(;ºДº)(;ºДº) (SOMEONE HELP ME PLZZZ)

The rest of the convo is me trying to hang up politely, steering back to business, and failed.
Argh. Thing is though, he brought up the whole coffee thing like, 5 times during the convo, each time I am saying something subtly says no. Come on, get it. TAKE A HINT! I AM NOT INTERESTED! IN FACT, YOU CREEP ME OUT, MAJORLY! And I don't even get creeped out that easily?!

:<
Also, he is like middle-aged man. How old do you think I am? I am not flattered. ._.
What do I do now? :

[Skuda]

http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif

that sucks. I've got a guy in my classes like that. Major stalker material.

ug.. I bet he was greasy and gross wasn't he?


Well, Kudos to you for trying to stear it back to business.

You could have said something like "I do not wish to disclose any personal information."

Or do the ninja apprach, "if I tell you, I'll have to kill you."

[EJ]

If being polite doesn't work then say flat out you creep me out and I'm not interested.

If that doesn't work then atleast you have your knives for protections :/

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Next time he comes in have a mall guard on hand?

Run out of the store and find those guards and make a huge scene so he'll never ever (get to) come back again?

If he's getting too much, it wouldn't be out of line and WILL get rid of him.

I imagine the guy's face of shock and or running away from the guards here. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

[Atayin]

You should definately buy a little pocket-sized can of Mace, or an Airhorn. Keep it with you at all times, even if you know tae-kwan-do or something. Then you won't have to worry about how a guy reacts when you're more direct with them from now on, because (no offense, but) that's what you're going to have to start doing.

Maybe next time try saying, "Err.. look, I'm flattered, and I'm sure you're a nice guy, but I'm just not interested" or, "Sorry. I'm involved. Anyway, will that be all?" You don't have to say who or what you're involved with.. that's none of his business (even if it's not true).

If you don't let a desperate and creepy old man know where he stands, he might not quit. I guess that's the nature of desperation. I know about this because I have several friends who have had stalkers in the past.. they're ok now, but they had to learn to be a little bit more direct. And, mace comes in handy.

[Otis_Kat]

If you get rid of him, he could you know, stalk and murder you. Unpleasent, but it happens a lot, carry protection.

[Sagasu]

squash him.

honestly.

[LSF]

He is either indeed an extremely weird person with no social skills or he wants to kill you. Either way i'd steer clear if I were you...

[HUnewearl_Meira]

On 2006-03-09 19:47, navci wrote:
him: ... I think you are really interesting.


Well... You are in fact a really interesting person, you've gotta hand that to him...

Seriously though, this is bad news. The irony of the whole thing is that you in fact do work in a shop where items of lethal properties are sold. I would advise you to keep a knife immediately available to you at all times that you may be able to defend yourself with, and try not to travel to or from work alone. Should you find this man following you home, for the love of God, do NOT go directly home. Confuse your route a bit. Go in and out of a few other buildings, perhaps try to lose him in a crowd. Just don't let this guy figure out where you live.

It's possible that he merely has a crush on you, but on the other hand, his behavior as you describe it is quite indicative of stalking, which never ends well. This is an obsessive behavior that can quite readily skew the perception of right from wrong, and the more I think about it, the better off you'd be to belligerently crush his fantasies as quickly as possible, before he becomes even more obsessed with you. If you need some motivation to help you accomplish this, then remember this: There is no question about it, he is thinking about you when he masturbates.

[LSF]

^ 'Nuff said.

[Atayin]

Well, I would highly advise against a knife for protection. Carry some mace, pepper spray, some kinda loud horn or a tazer/stun-gun... heck, even a handgun. Just not a knife.

I say this because, even if you're good with one, a knife can be turned on you. You don't want to end up in a struggle with somebody. Having to use a knife on a person is a nasty experience. You should definately be carrying some protection, but knives are a little too risky.

Hopefully you'd never end up in a situation where you would need to USE any of these things, but they're safe to have anyway. Even if this guy totally backs off.. be prepared, because there are still some serious creeps out there. At the risk of sounding completely corny... "better safe then sorry", right? If you're the quiet, shy type that has a tough time telling guys to back off, then you have all the more reason to be cautious.

[Daikarin]

If you have similar problems with other dudes, or if the same guy shows up again, try these:

1 - Say something like "I'm sorry, did I mention I have AIDS?"

2 - Tell him your father doesn't approve of you seeing older men. If he disagrees with the previous, tell him he has no right to discredit your father.

3 - Make up conversation, also making up weird hobbies of yours. Like how you "like" to pull out the hair strings of your nose one by one, or how you're a fan of some dark cult or something crazy.

4 - Pretend you sometimes have a stutter attack when you talk to men.

5 - Tell him you're seeing someone. And that someone is a Blackbelt on Karate, and that he knows Chuck Norris (talking casually, of course).

6 - Start coughing suddenly and tell him that you smoke wax. Whenever he starts talking, cough endlessly.

7 - Burp (or at least, pretend) every 5 secs.

8 - Tell him to GTFO/you're not interested.

9 - Wave your head. Don't say anything, just wave your head like if you were saying "No way."

10 - When laughing, imitate that pig-squealing laugh, you know? Or that arara laugh.

11 - Give him a roundhouse kick to his face. (Kung Fu his ass)

12 - Talk to a male friend. Have that friend pretend he's your boyfriend. Tell him to show up one day at the place, and flirt/make out in front of him.

13 - Act like if you were mentally handicapped. Like when he talks, make this dumb face, wait a few secs, and say "Ohhhh! I see...!!"

14 - Ask a friend for a cellphone or use yours. Answer it in front of him and pretend you're talking to an idiot relative ("Max, leave the toilet alone. It's not gonna kill you, for the 100th time", or "No mom, I'm not seeing any older men right now. Oh, wait...(Look at him) No, I'm not. Yes, I'm going to church tomorrow. Yes, I went to put daddy to his anger treatment clinic"

15 - Use your imagination to look like someone idiot. Of course, your social life may go down. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Daikarin on 2006-03-10 04:27 ]</font>

[Dangerous55]

Do not be mean, could set him off and stalk you, which could lead to other things. If he keeps coming back reject him nicely, don't just sorta tell him you arent interested. Tell him flat out you are not interested in a boyfriend, new friend, whatever.

If he keeps coming back and you are worried PM me.


Getting a carry permit and becoming skilled with what you carry couldnt hurt either. But that goes for anyone, anytime.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Dangerous55 on 2006-03-10 07:19 ]</font>

[Saiffy]

Navi lives in Canada. I don't know the gun laws here myself that well, but I know you can't carry them around. I think at most you can have one in your house, and it has to be in a secure place at all times(Unless you pull it out to use it, of course). Or have a permit to hunt or whatever. Either way, it's a lot stricter than in the US. I'm assuming this is what you were getting at, but I could be wrong. :>

I kinda just wanted to reply to Dangerous' post, since anything else I said would just be repeating what was already said. Either way, good luck navi :3


Make Kuda beat him up!

[navci]

Ya know. I was mostly annoyed, not scared.
>.>
Now you guys are scaring me. I don't think it is THAT serious? http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif >.>




is it?

[Shadowpawn]

On 2006-03-10 10:01, navci wrote:
Ya know. I was mostly annoyed, not scared.
>.>
Now you guys are scaring me. I don't think it is THAT serious? http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif >.>




is it?



Dude's willing to buy stuff just to talk to you, if that's not obsessed than I don't know what is. Be frank with him, tell you're not interested and be mean if you have to. Don't hold back because you're afraid to hurt his feelings otherwise you might make him think that his advances are welcomed.

[Sagasu]

On 2006-03-10 10:01, navci wrote:
Ya know. I was mostly annoyed, not scared.
>.>
Now you guys are scaring me. I don't think it is THAT serious? http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif >.>



No, not really.

Most of the above suggestions are for worst case scenarios, though less dramatic advice is also offered.

Lets stop repeating ourselves now. ;>

[Maridia]

Well, we all have to remember just how difficult it can be for a person to go up and talk to someone they think is pretty without seeming creepy nowadays. :/ He might be just a nice guy (albeit a creepy one) who finds navi pretty and interesting and really doesn't know wtf to do about it. How DO you approach people anymore?

But on the other hand, navi, you really should have just said "Sorry, I'm not interested" FIRST THING. If he kept going, you should have said "I'm sorry, I said I'm not interested. I hope you understand. I'm hanging up now." and hung up. If he keeps bothering you, you need to then let him know you will call the police if he does not stop harassing you. Let your friends and coworkers know about him. Let your boss know. But for the love of god, next time you hear from him, tell him FLAT OUT you aren't interested. That's one of the first things police want to know.

I'd like to think this person isn't going to do anything stupid, that he's just some lonely guy who found our little nabbers neat, but do carry a knife just in case. Watch your back, but don't be paranoid. It's always good advice to be cautious anyway. Take care, be smart, and this should all just blow over. Let us know of any updates, please.

[BogusKun]

On 2006-03-09 19:47, navci wrote:
Well anyway.
There is this creepy dude who has been hovering around the store lately. He creeps me out. I am not sure why, but my co-worker thought he was creepy too; she also said I have "being creeped out now" all over my face whenever he has to talk to me.

This morning, creepy dude came in, wanted to look at a knife.
Sure. Showed it, talked about the knife. All business. Once he is done, I returned to whatever I was doing, no chit-chatting. Not interested.
He called later on, asking the prices of the knife. Gave it to him.
Called about an hour later again, said he has forgetten the price of the knives. wtf. Fine, gave them again.
Then he started to strike up a conversation with me. Asking when I am off work, how many hours do I work, etc. I was trying to be nice, but didn't like one bit where the conversation was going. Eventually he mentioned how he'd like to have coffee with me sometime.

me: (;ºДº)

I tried to be as vague as I can be.

him: So when is your next day off?
me: I don't have any days off at the moment.
him: I thought you said you get Monday and Tuesdays off? ( I said that way before, like WAY before, as conversation piece)
me: Er ya. But I have work to do. I got volunteering.
him: (trying to strike up more convo and such)
me: Ya I will really busy for the rest of the month. (talked more about busy stuff, trying to bring the convo back to business, like I'll call you when that other knife you wanted come in, like, next week!)
him: I'd like to be friends with you. I think you are really interesting.
me: >.> (want to just hang up)
him: I kinda like you
me: (;ºДº)(;ºДº)(;ºДº)(;ºДº)(;ºДº)(;ºДº) (SOMEONE HELP ME PLZZZ)

The rest of the convo is me trying to hang up politely, steering back to business, and failed.
Argh. Thing is though, he brought up the whole coffee thing like, 5 times during the convo, each time I am saying something subtly says no. Come on, get it. TAKE A HINT! I AM NOT INTERESTED! IN FACT, YOU CREEP ME OUT, MAJORLY! And I don't even get creeped out that easily?!

:<
Also, he is like middle-aged man. How old do you think I am? I am not flattered. ._.
What do I do now? :



Give it to him. He'll probably get sick of you.
Guys tend to do things you don't want to do, but it'll work out.

I wouldn't want to do something unwillingly either... so if I were female... I'd give it to him.

[Atayin]

On 2006-03-10 10:01, navci wrote:
Ya know. I was mostly annoyed, not scared.
>.>
Now you guys are scaring me. I don't think it is THAT serious? http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif >.>




is it?



I think that most of the concern expressed by us resides in the potential that a situation like this could have towards becoming more serious. Diffuse the situation now while it isn't serious, and then you'll have nothing to be scared of. As I've mentioned before, I've got several friends who have had serious (and scary) stalkers in the past and it didn't start out seemingly serious.

I doubt this guy will be so persistant, but don't take a creepy, middle aged man lightly. And I don't care how safe you think you are, either, but start carrying some kind of protection no matter what. It's what all women are supposed to do nowdays, even if they don't have stalkers. Even if they live in the safest place ever. I'm not paranoid or anything, but it's not a bad idea to be prepared.

[BogusKun]

Be like 50 Cent and wear your bulletproof armor EVERYWHERE you go.


N N N N N Navi-Unit!

[Maridia]

I forgot to mention that if he does come to work with you, and you make it clear to him that you aren't interested, do do your best to make sure people or coworkers are around to hear you say it. Many times people say that it wasn't made clear, or that "they were led on". Just play it safe, navi. No worries.

[BogusKun]

I led many girls on where i worked at... and it's crazy they ask for my phone number thinking I would sleep with them. I mean I slept with few of them... but I don't really intend on sleeping with any girl I see.

[washuguy]

Plain and simple, no thanks. Or you can hire some big buff dude to pose as your boy friend. Both should work easily.

[BogusKun]

stick my pic on your wall and pretenbd to fantasize... I'll let you

[navci]

On 2006-03-10 16:26, BogusKun wrote:
stick my pic on your wall and pretenbd to fantasize... I'll let you



Get out of my topic.

[EJ]

On 2006-03-10 16:26, BogusKun wrote:
stick my pic on your wall and pretenbd to fantasize... I'll let you


Dude, why are spamming in this topic?

Anyways, I don't think it that serious, just do as the other have said and make it clear that you are interested.

[Ryna]

BogusKun, if you don't have anything useful to add to the thread, stay out of it.

[BogusKun]

sorry... but i had my fair share of persistant fellows coming to tap me up. I usually don't find out they wanna be with me for the nights... but my stupid self dont tell them I'm heterosexual and dont swing that way.

I do get em off my back by telling them, "I'm in a hurry to get home to my 2 kids, because my wife just called and said their sick". They'll sympathize I guess and leave.

Just tell them you're either in a relationship or married. If they ask to see a ring, say your "customs" dont ask for rings. Not a lot of people know about southwestern asian culture which I intentionally use as my crutch to stay away such situations.

[trypticon]

Better advice, if it hasn't been given already, is to just stop working there completely. Otherwise, you don't know if the person is waiting and watching for you in some secluded place.

Call the police if it continues.

Tell management if they don't know already.

Get your other female friends to quit, too. If he's seen them with you, he may use them to locate you after you do quit, if it comes to that.

From what you wrote originally, and I haven't gone all the way through the thread, but the person is hitting on you, has a thing for knives, and makes you uncomfortable. This, as you know, is a bad conbination. The most effective way of alleviating it is to remove something from the situation. The safest thing to remove is yourself. You can find another job.




On 2006-03-10 13:26, Atayin wrote:

As I've mentioned before, I've got several friends who have had serious (and scary) stalkers in the past and it didn't start out seemingly serious.



Sorry, I don't believe this for a second, By your profile, you are maybe twenty years old, and are scared of everything. I wouldn't be surprised if you or your friends your age would freak out and consider just about any form of advance or conversation as stalking if you aren't the one to initiate it personally.

Problem with posting this at a site like PSO world is that you are dealing with mostly children who don't have the capacity to understand the first thing about the potential for dangerous stalking mannerisms. More like, they overreact to everything new. If you are really worried about this situation, study up to see if this is bizarre behavior or if it's just you being uncomfortable with someone trying to be nice to you.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: trypticon on 2006-03-11 17:10 ]</font>

[Dangerous55]

Ohhh you live in Canada, well no pistol for you I guess. It still isnt illegal for you to defend yourself like in Europe, I don't think.

You probably won't need it, but you never know. Just be firm, but not rude.

[LSF]

On 2006-03-11 17:04, Dangerous55 wrote:
Ohhh you live in Canada, well no pistol for you I guess. It still isnt illegal for you to defend yourself like in Europe, I don't think.

You probably won't need it, but you never know. Just be firm, but not rude.



What do you mean like in Europe? I wasn't illegable to buy a fucking air-rifle until I was 18! Not to mention the stack-loads of paperwork and spotlight recognition from authorities. More appropriate would have been 'USA', not Europe.


[Edit] By the way, if you defend yourself here you get a longer sentence than your attacker. I'm afraid you were drastically mis-informed somewhere along the line.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: LSF on 2006-03-11 18:18 ]</font>

[Sayara]

Way to take things out of proportion. <_<

[LSF]

On 2006-03-11 19:31, Tingle wrote:
Way to take things out of proportion. <_<



I hate the authorities here, so it was only natural...

[Ryna]

This thread is being locked at the OP's request.