I am one of those hopeless fools who's fallen in love with h

[CupOfCoffee]

It's feelings time, everybody! As a disclaimer, though, I will say that this is not really a rant at all. It's more of a brain dump. I don't feel mad or sad or anything else from the negative emotional spectrum--just a kind of wonder. A deep questioning, if you will.

I am entirely unsure of what to do with myself at this point. I don't feel ready to tell my friend what I feel for her because of that ever-present danger of ruining the friendship. Without the companionship of this girl, I fear my life would become very lifeless. I don't want to say I'd fall into depression because I don't think that would happen, but I wouldn't feel fullfilled anymore. Not like I do now.

With her I have experienced the clearest and truest form of friendship I have ever known. I've told her things without hesistation that I would never tell to any of my other friends, and really, honestly believed in her as a person. I don't know if that makes as much sense written down as it did swimming around in my head just now, but maybe someone will understand. I feel like when I am with her or even just talking to her on the computer or the phone, I can see things that are otherwise invisible.

I know there are other fish in the sea and that there undoubtedly has to be someone out there even more wonderful than she, but to think of the chances that they might fall right into the lap of my life the way that this girl did seems completely insane. That I might enjoy doing random, everyday crap with somebody else as much as I do with her seems like a somehow contradictory thought. I know this isn't just a crush, because I've gone through the entire range of crushes. Serious, not-so-serious and everything in between--this is deeper. I feel like I've reluctantly and completely grown into this feeling. It was a very slow on-set, which isn't what usually happens with me, and now I can't imagine feeling this way about anybody else.

Is it normal to think of her padding around in my kitchen 30 years' worth of mornings from now with a smile?

I'm not looking for advice or sympathy--just an ear. Knowing that someone read this and somewhere out there is a person who knows how I feel is enough. Haha.

It's 2:29, and I am going to bed now. Thank you for your time. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Hey gimme back my ear!

Well, to make sure you're not going to lose your best friend to another person if you do have true feelings for this friend, go ahead and do it.

Put yourself out there.

If she doesn't want to make that jump past your best friend best bud gonna be around for you pal, then well, one day you will find that one right and its better for you to find out now than never!

It might mean that you're not going to have the same relationship anymore if you're declined, but what if she's thinking what you are and waiting on your move?

If you don't act you'll be caught out on a hanger in the wind buddy.

And for the love of god if you do get a relationship going, block her from MySpace.com as a precaution then. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[TheOneHero]

Tell her, you don't want to lose her; listen to Haya.

Being in love is just awesome; being in love with an awesome friendship from your lover is even better.

Read this quote, think about it carefully:


I once said:

I would rather regret something I did do, than something I didn't.

Good luck.


MySpace ban, lol. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: TheOneHero on 2006-03-15 03:37 ]</font>

[EJ]

It is better to take a chance at love then to wonder what if in the future.

If you took the chance and she doesn't feel the same way, atleast you got your answer than wondering and killing yourself over what she thinks.

I'm guessing Haya saw the myspace movie. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[navci]

Mm. Everyone is saying go for it huh?
I will say the contrarary.

Boyfriends/girlfriends comes and goes. Friends are forever. Especially with the way you describe how this friendship is, I'd say don't risk it. Not because that she might reject you. But because that once a friendship becomes a "couple" things, the relationship is going to change, for good and for bad.

There are SO MUCH "couple junk" that ruins how the whole friendship thing runs. Expectations, commitment, random emotional junk, etc etc. There are people who can function beautifully as a couple as they did with friends. Not everybody can though.

On the other hand, if you feel that you want it enough, and you are confident about this. Go for it.

I have had fallen for many people that started out as good friends. I'll just say in the end, I am glad a lot of them just stayed friends.

[Neith]

Heh, I've been here before http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif A couple of years back, exact thing happened to me, and a friend from college.

Ended up asking her out, but we decided it'd be kinda strange considering how close friends we were.

Having said that, I'm glad I did ask her, made me feel much better getting that off my chest.

If she's an understanding friend, she should be fine with you asking (probably embarassed I guess, but heh). Point being, if you don't ask, it's unlikely anything will happen. There is always the chance that she'll take it wrong, and if that happens, there's not much you could have done.

I'd say go for it, it could be great if it all works out. Good luck!

[darthsaber9x9]

Ah this sounds a bit familiar. Really I was in the same situation as you. We talked for ages about stuff that we didn't tell anyone else. We had certain common shall we say, deficiencies in our childhoods (and i'm not on about iron or vitamin B or anything). Then I started to like her in a different way. All those deep feelings I had for her as a friend suddenly became compounded for those other, sexual feelings.

I debated this for ages in my mind wether to tell her, for the very reasons you described. Of course it didn't help that at this time, she was going out with one of my best mates, which was a bit of a kick in the cunt but meh. Eventually, after many troubled nights I told her and....it didn't really change anything.

We have since grown apart a bit but that was for different issues (although I have a feeling that my prior feelings may have nudged it SLIGHTLY). But after I told her I felt so much better despite the inevitable outcome, which was that she didn't feel the same about me.

So anyway, I think you should tell her and you may find that you will feel better. And even if she says no, you know that you have to look elsewhere instead of wondering about it.

Hope that helps.

[Jehosaphaty]

On 2006-03-15 08:09, navci wrote:
But because that once a friendship becomes a "couple" things, the relationship is going to change, for good and for bad.

There are SO MUCH "couple junk" that ruins how the whole friendship thing runs. Expectations, commitment, random emotional junk, etc etc. There are people who can function beautifully as a couple as they did with friends. Not everybody can though.



I've been dating my best friend for the past six months, and they have been some of the best months of my life. I can personally attest to what nav is saying. A lot of the couple stuff threatens to swamp the friendship, but the tradeoff is well worth it if you two can manage it.

It's important you decide if you can be happy with your present relationship versus looking back and regretting not telling her. No regrets amigo, good luck, I know you'll make your right decision.

[Sagasu]

Wether you say the words or not doesnt change that theres love between the two of you.

For all we know she could be having the same difficulty, http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif

[Dreadlock]

I think that women and men can never really be "friends." Unless of course she is hideous or is your mother.

All of the female friends I have had..I tried to emotionally connect with them at one point or another. Or I have had strong feelings for them.

In inbred instinct to breed is much too strong.

Honestly though. What women friends I have now..I've been in relationships with.

I think people usually tend to slide more torwards a more attractive person, physically. Or maybe they have an attractive personality. This is usually the friend or "best friend." And if you are heterosexual, and this friend is of the opposite sex..this person you're attracted to first as a friend..then later as a potential lover. Human emotions are far too complex.

[Maridia]

Well, coffee.. I don't know what to tell you advice wise. It's up to you to what you want with it. Just.. do me a big favor, please, and don't ever take your time with her for granted. The fact that you can spend time with her in person, whether you remain close friends, or do something else, is a gift you should treasure forever. :/

There's nothing quite like being in love with your best friend (or alternatively, having your lover (or ex lover) be your best friend) and having them live far far away. It's possibly one of the worst feelings you can have sometimes. So enjoy your time with her. Whatever you choose to do, love the time you have, and make the most of it. Not everyone is as lucky as you. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[CupOfCoffee]

On 2006-03-15 20:42, Maridia wrote:
Well, coffee.. I don't know what to tell you advice wise. It's up to you to what you want with it. Just.. do me a big favor, please, and don't ever take your time with her for granted. The fact that you can spend time with her in person, whether you remain close friends, or do something else, is a gift you should treasure forever. :/

There's nothing quite like being in love with your best friend (or alternatively, having your lover (or ex lover) be your best friend) and having them live far far away. It's possibly one of the worst feelings you can have sometimes. So enjoy your time with her. Whatever you choose to do, love the time you have, and make the most of it. Not everyone is as lucky as you. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif


I know just what you mean. When she's at home we live about five minutes from each other, but for eight or so months out of the year, she's three hours away at a different college than me. It is suckiness to the max when the closest you can come to real-life contact is mailing letters back and forth, but we've been doing it proudly, aha.

Well, this summer should be pretty sweet at least. I'm so sick of school stealing all my friends away.

[Allos]

I know exactly what you're feeling, and for me it's the best/worst feeling in the world.


Just don't make the same mistake I did....*points to other topic in Rants*

[washuguy]

Ahhhh... Romance.... Look, try to send her the message slowly. Then when the time is right, like if you're at... Or near, the water... tell her. I think water makes for a beautiful setting! But ask her more questions. But don't make them to obvious, or you'll be left in ruin. And if you are declined(Hopefully you won't...) It was worth the try. And you might be able to recover ant contain the friendship.Keep me updated.

[Daikarin]

She can be your soulmate, and she may not. I've liked a friend of mine so much once, and even saw me building a family with her, very often. I used to see her as the mother I wanted for my children. But that did not happen, things went to another way. Simply because it wasn't fated to be. All I can say is, enjoy your friendship, let it grow first. Then, think about it.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Daikarin on 2006-03-16 15:51 ]</font>

[BogusKun]

On 2006-03-16 12:47, Allos wrote:
I know exactly what you're feeling, and for me it's the best/worst feeling in the world.


Just don't make the same mistake I did....*points to other topic in Rants*



I was just going to refer him to you.

[Charmander02]

Just as long as you dont do something stupid while you're going out with her, if doesn't work out then you guys can still be friends afterwards.

Anyways good luck.http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[DavidNel]

Err, I'm not quite sure what has happened up to this point... (too lazy to read it all) But let me put it in a different light... unfortunately a pestamistic one. Don't take it if you don't want it, but this is just my take on life:

Would you rather live with a regret, or a terrable mistake?

Again, I'm an overly-causous *can't spell...* person, and I don't do anything that I don't know for certain. I lead a boring life, but it is a safe one. I've never had this feeling personally, so I can't truly relate.

All-in-all, GOOD LUCK!

[DavidNel]

Err, I'm not quite sure what has happened up to this point... (too lazy to read it all) But let me put it in a different light... unfortunately a pestamistic one. Don't take it if you don't want it, but this is just my take on life:

Would you rather live with a regret, or a terrable mistake?

Again, I'm an overly-causous *can't spell...* person, and I don't do anything that I don't know for certain. I lead a boring life, but it is a safe one. I've never had this feeling personally, so I can't truly relate.

All-in-all, GOOD LUCK!