KodiaX987
Apr 4, 2006, 09:28 PM
Today, I decide to go download a stopwatch program!
I figured something as simple as a stopwatch would be easy to find, and would be downloaded and run in a matter of minutes.
Sadly, I had forgotten to factor in the fact that the internet is composed of SHITTING AVARIOUS MATERIALISTIC PRICKS.
-The first result in my list led to a free stopwatch program that had no EXE, required a source code to be compiled and was only compatible with an obscure plugin that I still have to know the name.
-The second result was LOW PRICED stopwatch on AMAZON.COM!
-The third result led me to a sorely disappointing try-before-you-buy stopwatch program. Try it for 14 days and register if you like it!
-The fourth result led back to AMAZON.COM for the LOWEST PRICED stopwatch programs on the INTERNET!
-The fifth result was, conveniently enough, AMAZON.COM!
-The sixth result led to a stopwatch program... except that one had to be registered to download it, and registering gave access to all that the programmer in question had done in terms of utilities, registration which amounted to 9 pounds for lifetime access.
-The seventh result led me to a nice-looking stopwatch program, which came in an INSTALLER (I cannot comprehend the reason why someone would stick a TINY SMALL MICROSCOPIC stopwatch in an INSTALLER because that idea alone was proven by God himself that this simply cannot happen!) and then only after I ran it did I get told this was another God damned 14-day trial.
There are planetfuls of free programs to measure the mileage of your mouse, your number of keystrokes, your number of clicks, the ETA before year 2000, your total computer uptime - but NOT A SINGLE FREE FUCKING STOPWATCH PROGRAM. That's all I ask for! A STOPWATCH! No, I don't want to put my real watch in my room. I want a stopwatch I can put in the corner of my screen and leave there. Simple as THAT. And it doesn't exist. At least not on Windows. I saw Linux versions and DOS versions and Palm versions and maybe even versions for obscure OSes that never made it past beta stage - whatever! Point is, stopwatches for Windows don't exist. Zip. Zero. Nada. If they exist, they are hidden under thousands of pop-up ads or at the bottom of a google-ad banner that happens to be 2000 pixels long and 1 pixel wide.
I sure as hell hope there's beer in Heaven - 'cause the first thing I'll want to say to St-Peter is "I wanna get wasted."
I figured something as simple as a stopwatch would be easy to find, and would be downloaded and run in a matter of minutes.
Sadly, I had forgotten to factor in the fact that the internet is composed of SHITTING AVARIOUS MATERIALISTIC PRICKS.
-The first result in my list led to a free stopwatch program that had no EXE, required a source code to be compiled and was only compatible with an obscure plugin that I still have to know the name.
-The second result was LOW PRICED stopwatch on AMAZON.COM!
-The third result led me to a sorely disappointing try-before-you-buy stopwatch program. Try it for 14 days and register if you like it!
-The fourth result led back to AMAZON.COM for the LOWEST PRICED stopwatch programs on the INTERNET!
-The fifth result was, conveniently enough, AMAZON.COM!
-The sixth result led to a stopwatch program... except that one had to be registered to download it, and registering gave access to all that the programmer in question had done in terms of utilities, registration which amounted to 9 pounds for lifetime access.
-The seventh result led me to a nice-looking stopwatch program, which came in an INSTALLER (I cannot comprehend the reason why someone would stick a TINY SMALL MICROSCOPIC stopwatch in an INSTALLER because that idea alone was proven by God himself that this simply cannot happen!) and then only after I ran it did I get told this was another God damned 14-day trial.
There are planetfuls of free programs to measure the mileage of your mouse, your number of keystrokes, your number of clicks, the ETA before year 2000, your total computer uptime - but NOT A SINGLE FREE FUCKING STOPWATCH PROGRAM. That's all I ask for! A STOPWATCH! No, I don't want to put my real watch in my room. I want a stopwatch I can put in the corner of my screen and leave there. Simple as THAT. And it doesn't exist. At least not on Windows. I saw Linux versions and DOS versions and Palm versions and maybe even versions for obscure OSes that never made it past beta stage - whatever! Point is, stopwatches for Windows don't exist. Zip. Zero. Nada. If they exist, they are hidden under thousands of pop-up ads or at the bottom of a google-ad banner that happens to be 2000 pixels long and 1 pixel wide.
I sure as hell hope there's beer in Heaven - 'cause the first thing I'll want to say to St-Peter is "I wanna get wasted."