Nixia
Jun 2, 2006, 08:55 PM
This rant was inspired by many girls I've known personally, or just those in my general area. I don't mean this of all of them, and heck, I've known guys to have some of these traits, so they're not limited to the "fairer" sex.
1. I like guys for the most part. They're simple. Now, I don't mean simple-minded, mind you (usually, anyway). But, more often than not, they're a helluva lot less stress than women. Or, at the very least, you can at least see them coming. Now, you could be with your girl for months before you come to realize that she reveals herself to be the biggest, annoying (and probably loudest) bitch on the planet, leaving you to wonder how the hell it was that you could get so involved with her, or even liked her at all.
2. One of many things I really, really, really hate about girls is the hinting. Jesus, Mary and freaking Joseph--the hinting. God forbid you just say what you want, oh noooooooooo, you have to tip toe around the issue, and then get the nerve to get pissed at me for liking that guy that you maybe-sorta liked and kinda flirted with, or getting you a garnet bracelet when you wanted ruby for your birthday when you oh-so-strategically left magazine clippings on the fridge or on my desk that I never use or on my locker that I never go to! ARRRGGHHHH!
The subtler the hint, the more pissed a girl will be at you when you don't pick it up. Worse still, she had probably been planting clues or working some prospect for weeks, possibly even months, and will definitely not forget to mention it when she's bitching at you. If you wanted this for your birthday, or Christmas or what the hell ever--just say it. It's not hard. If you like a guy just tell me, and I'll move on. Unlike you I believe in the concept that there are other fish in the sea. And chances are, if you like him, he probably wasn't worth it, anyway.
Sadly, being a girl, I have a built-in radar for hints, but it only works so well. I find my life's much easier with my personal rule: if you don't vocalize what it is that you want, fuck off.
3. The contradictions. This isn't limited to girls. I just hate how when I talk/argue with people they say that they can't read minds, or they claim not to have known this or that, only to later jump to conclusions and presume to know everything that's going on in my or other people's head. Pisses me off.
4. I'm not a guy but I hate it when chicks berate their guys for watching porn, or when they're looking at Miss December and not thinking of their girlfriend when they need some "alone time". As long as he's not cheating on you, stop busting his balls. And in all fairness, the pr0n probably came first.
5. Everyone needs to hear their (phone) conversations be it in the hallways, on a bus, waiting in line--anywhere. And more often that not, when you can hear it, it's not so much conversation as it is high-pitched squeals and giggles, and "Liek OMG's!".
6. "Nothing."
Not "I'd rather not talk about it." or "I don't want to get into it.", or "I'm taking care of it." but "Nothing." Nothing is never just that--there is always, always something. When faced with this answer to "What's wrong with you?" You can do one of the following.
a) Get your head bitten off for caring.
b) Not worry about it--she's probably going to tell you in three seconds, anyway (joy).
c) She's actually not going to say or do anything! Don't even breathe, lest she changes her mind.
7. The constant reassuring. No you're not fat. Yes, you're very pretty. Insecurity is one thing, but, the whiny, relentless tone that I often hear when x girl is asking about her appearance or personality is not so much her worrying about some personal inadequacy, but, rather her fishing for compliments to feed her ego.
8. "Does this make my butt look big?"
This is not limited to what may or may not be a huge ass in jeans, but the spirit of the paradox is what gets me; there is absolutely no good way of answering this question, or getting out of this situation. None. Nada. Impossiblé. Attempting to will only result in cranial meltdown and/or homicidal tendecies in any reasonable person.
Makes me wish I wasn't attracted to them so much, sometimes. >.O
1. I like guys for the most part. They're simple. Now, I don't mean simple-minded, mind you (usually, anyway). But, more often than not, they're a helluva lot less stress than women. Or, at the very least, you can at least see them coming. Now, you could be with your girl for months before you come to realize that she reveals herself to be the biggest, annoying (and probably loudest) bitch on the planet, leaving you to wonder how the hell it was that you could get so involved with her, or even liked her at all.
2. One of many things I really, really, really hate about girls is the hinting. Jesus, Mary and freaking Joseph--the hinting. God forbid you just say what you want, oh noooooooooo, you have to tip toe around the issue, and then get the nerve to get pissed at me for liking that guy that you maybe-sorta liked and kinda flirted with, or getting you a garnet bracelet when you wanted ruby for your birthday when you oh-so-strategically left magazine clippings on the fridge or on my desk that I never use or on my locker that I never go to! ARRRGGHHHH!
The subtler the hint, the more pissed a girl will be at you when you don't pick it up. Worse still, she had probably been planting clues or working some prospect for weeks, possibly even months, and will definitely not forget to mention it when she's bitching at you. If you wanted this for your birthday, or Christmas or what the hell ever--just say it. It's not hard. If you like a guy just tell me, and I'll move on. Unlike you I believe in the concept that there are other fish in the sea. And chances are, if you like him, he probably wasn't worth it, anyway.
Sadly, being a girl, I have a built-in radar for hints, but it only works so well. I find my life's much easier with my personal rule: if you don't vocalize what it is that you want, fuck off.
3. The contradictions. This isn't limited to girls. I just hate how when I talk/argue with people they say that they can't read minds, or they claim not to have known this or that, only to later jump to conclusions and presume to know everything that's going on in my or other people's head. Pisses me off.
4. I'm not a guy but I hate it when chicks berate their guys for watching porn, or when they're looking at Miss December and not thinking of their girlfriend when they need some "alone time". As long as he's not cheating on you, stop busting his balls. And in all fairness, the pr0n probably came first.
5. Everyone needs to hear their (phone) conversations be it in the hallways, on a bus, waiting in line--anywhere. And more often that not, when you can hear it, it's not so much conversation as it is high-pitched squeals and giggles, and "Liek OMG's!".
6. "Nothing."
Not "I'd rather not talk about it." or "I don't want to get into it.", or "I'm taking care of it." but "Nothing." Nothing is never just that--there is always, always something. When faced with this answer to "What's wrong with you?" You can do one of the following.
a) Get your head bitten off for caring.
b) Not worry about it--she's probably going to tell you in three seconds, anyway (joy).
c) She's actually not going to say or do anything! Don't even breathe, lest she changes her mind.
7. The constant reassuring. No you're not fat. Yes, you're very pretty. Insecurity is one thing, but, the whiny, relentless tone that I often hear when x girl is asking about her appearance or personality is not so much her worrying about some personal inadequacy, but, rather her fishing for compliments to feed her ego.
8. "Does this make my butt look big?"
This is not limited to what may or may not be a huge ass in jeans, but the spirit of the paradox is what gets me; there is absolutely no good way of answering this question, or getting out of this situation. None. Nada. Impossiblé. Attempting to will only result in cranial meltdown and/or homicidal tendecies in any reasonable person.
Makes me wish I wasn't attracted to them so much, sometimes. >.O