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View Full Version : Here's a thought.



Rei-San
Sep 17, 2006, 07:47 PM
If someone told you that they were a pathological liar, would you belive them?

DizzyDi
Sep 17, 2006, 08:33 PM
DEEP THOUGHTS

By Jack Handey

At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.


As the snow started to fall, he tugged his coat tighter around himself. Too tight, as it turned out. "This is the fourth coat crushing this year", said the sergeant as he outlined the body with a special pencil that writes on snow.



A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."


Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

Tystys
Sep 17, 2006, 09:31 PM
If something like that fucking happened(the last thing) I'd run out of there like a bat out of hell dude.

MadEwokHerd
Sep 17, 2006, 09:45 PM
More Deep Thoughts:
If I had to chose a favorite relative, it'd have to be Uncle Caveman. We called him that because he lived in a cave and would occasionally eat one of us.

We later found out he was a bear.




Sometimes, when I'm really angry at someone, I stab a knife in a pumpkin and leave it on there doorstep. I put a note that says, "You" under it and ring the doorbell. Then I run away.