*Takes deep breath*

[Mystil]

And faces reality. The only 3 things that add validity to my existence is my mom, dad and my job. Society simply wont allow me to be apart of it. I've recently made amends with my dad, only because it was the right thing to do and it was I who broke the bond in the first place.

All my life I've wanted to be apart of something. And it's never happened. When the opportunity(that I have to make for myself) arises, it appears that I'm just a translucent image that is not seen or heard. Do I not possess an appealing enough personality? That's another thing..why change yourself into something you are not to get the results you want?

Don't know what I've done in my life that has put me in such a depressing position.

[Wyndham]

I don't really understand everything you're saying, but changing yourself to get a different result isn't always a good idea.

[T0m]

Err.. First off, I think I understand what you are saying, but if I misinterpreted it, my answer will probably seem a little off. Apologies in advance, if that's the case. ~_~

Now, while I wouldn't say changing yourself into something that you are not, would be a recommended thing, at the same time it's not bad to adept to changing circumstances. Besides, everyone is changing constantly; every experience changes us.

However, for your problem of not feeling like you are part of something, I don't think that trying to change will be the solution.
The situation you're in, is something that I guess everyone, bar the lucky few, will be in at least once, in life.
In your case it could be that you are simply missing, or not appreciating the things that you are part of. For one thing, you are a veteran member of PSOW, a rather large online community with people sharing a particular passion.
And for those times, when the real world (real/ online, it's a bit of an arbitrary difference for me; the people you talk with are still real. I can't recall when everyone was making a major issue of real/ phone. - It's true that certain things suit certain media better, though.) seems lacklustre, my answer has always been to not look for validity in outside sources, but in myself. Live a good life, and be a good person. Knowing you were who you'd want to be, is rewarding too. (Or live a good life and be a terrible person, if that's your thing http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif )
And being at peace with yourself will probably help a great deal with facing others, and making a lasting image on those. Because often it seems that those who are a bit depressed/ distressed (which you seem to be), and are in fact looking for a helping hand, are conveniently overlooked.

[Daikarin]

On 2006-11-04 15:05, Silhouette wrote:
That's another thing..why change yourself into something you are not to get the results you want?


Well... If I feel I'm turning into something that wasn't me, something malevolent that endangers the bonds I have with people, then I will look at myself and change for the best. Only if I were to look at me and conclude "They're right, I'm being an ass". That's the whole point, being wise enough to know when you're being an ass and when you aren't.

Not that this is your case, I'm simply stating that there are times where changing is benefitial.

Good luck.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Daikarin on 2006-11-05 03:49 ]</font>

[Mystil]

Tom that is exactly what I'm saying. I'll tell you that a good portion of my life is spunt online. .

Appreciated the comments from everyone.

[T0m]

My first post here contains unfinished ideas and thoughts, and poorly phrased sentences. That's mostly because I ran out of time. (Would anyone ask me, I'd name writing it as the reason why I arrived late at work this morning. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif)

Anyhow. Being online a good portion of your life isn't necessarily a bad thing. The medium online greatly facilitates meeting people all over the globe. And online, one is able to have worthwhile interactions just as well.
Due to the nature of online however, relationships tend to be more superficial. Because of the physical distance, people generally won't have the same emotional attachement as they would with people they meet face to face. (Not to mention that it's terribly difficult - if not impossible - to know if someone is being sincere, when all you have to go by, are some lines of text.) And because of this, "friendships" will be discarded much more freely, too.
Make sure that I'm not saying that internet relations can never develop in tight friendships. Because I know they can. But I am saying, that it's sensible to keep this in mind, and to prepare yourself for this. So you won't take an abruptly broken off friendship, as a personal thing.
It seems now, that you ran into some unrewarding relationships online, and that's made you down. And well, you shouldn't let negative experiences online, affect you. Treasure the good. And learn from, and then discard, the bad. Also, don't hesitate to break off any contacts that aren't beneficial to you.

And if you then feel lacking in contacts; many members made their IM details public. I would assume many also wouldn't mind adding new contacts ~_~