Challenge: The Miracle of Cream Cheese

[HUnewearl_Meira]

This is a question for you all:

What can you add cream cheese to, and it will make a previously acceptable food, totally unacceptable?

The following is the criteria:


Beverages do not count. We know that you won't be replacing the ice in your soda with cubes of cream cheese.
We're talking about a significant disimprovement specifically due to the cream cheese, to the point of the end result being inedible. If it simply offers no advantage, then that's not a problem.
The cream cheese may be altered in any way to be included in the recipe
Consider that where cream cheese cannot be mixed directly to something, then is there some sort of recipe that both things can be included in.
If you wouldn't eat this thing to begin with, then clearly it is not a function of the cream cheese that makes it unacceptable, so this as well is ruled out.
The Sord Rule: We are talking about fresh, edible cream cheese, not rancid, spoiled cream cheese.
The Guitarsmasher Rule: We cannot expect cream cheese to resurrect a combination of food that already doesn't work (though if you find such a combination that cream cheese can save, then by all means, post it).


I may extend this list of criteria as data comes in. As of right now, I have a couple of things in mind that will require testing, to see if cream cheese will in fact become a problem, but I want to see what everyone will come up with.

Go forth and search!


The List So Far:
Teriyaki-seasoned meats (investigation pending) [Credit: Mixfortune]
Jolly Ranchers (can this be mixed with anything?) [Credit: astuarlen]
Ramen noodles (possible, but quite a stretch) [Credit: astuarlen]
Various soups/stews (not all-inclusive) [Credit: Sord]


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: HUnewearl_Meira on 2006-11-19 21:07 ]</font>

[Shadowpawn]

Cream cheese with lobster.

[astuarlen]

I'm gonna have to go with pickels. Also, ramen noodles.

[Skuda]

creamcheese and tuna sammich. ;P

[astuarlen]

On 2006-11-17 07:45, Skuda wrote:
creamcheese and tuna sammich. ;P



Actually, that sounds kind of godlike. Also unexpectedly awesome*: cream cheese w/ cucumber sandwich.


*The relative awesomeness scores of Moo2u and said sandwich are hotly debated.

[Sord]

well, given it's content, I'd say anything that you would have to let sit out for awhile (as in between room temperature and not quite boiling) might cause it to grow bacteria and make you sick. Stick it in a stew that you let sit in a crock pot for a day or two or something. You might get some results there.

I'm not sure what frying cream cheese would do, if it lights the stuff on fire then there is your first misuse, though I really doubt this would happen. It would probably go crispy like fried ice cream.

[HUnewearl_Meira]

On 2006-11-17 01:54, Shadowpawn wrote:
Cream cheese with lobster.



This is an interesting theory, but I'm going to go with the idea that you could make a lobster dip with cream cheese and lobster, in the same way that you would do so with clams.



On 2006-11-17 05:46, astuarlen wrote:
I'm gonna have to go with pickels.
This has been considered, but I think that a reasonable spread for a bagel or something could be made with cream cheese and pickles; especially if the pickles are chopped up into relish or something.


Also, ramen noodles.

Add cubes of cream cheese under the same pretense that one might add tofu. Probably not necessarily an improvement, but I suspect it wouldn't become something you would explicitly want to avoid.




On 2006-11-17 13:01, Sord wrote:
well, given it's content, I'd say anything that you would have to let sit out for awhile (as in between room temperature and not quite boiling) might cause it to grow bacteria and make you sick. Stick it in a stew that you let sit in a crock pot for a day or two or something. You might get some results there.

I'm not sure what frying cream cheese would do, if it lights the stuff on fire then there is your first misuse, though I really doubt this would happen. It would probably go crispy like fried ice cream.



Cream cheese fries just fine. Have you ever had a stuffed jalepino? It's full of cream cheese, it's fried, and it's incredible.

Also remember Sord, that counting on it growing strange diseases is clearly not in the spirit of this venture.

I will say though, that while I don't think you could use cream cheese with most soups/stews, I believe you could use it with most of their components; let's consider roast beef, for example. I am aware that one of the awesomest hor'dourves ever concieved can be created simply by rolling a slice of roast beef around some cream cheese. Carrots and most other vegetables can be dipped in cream cheese-based dips, and so on. The finished soup or stew, I suspect you'd have to get rather creative with, however, unless it's already a cheese-based soup, in which case, you may be able to get away with substituting cream cheese. A French Onion soup, for example, you may be able to use cream cheese with.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: HUnewearl_Meira on 2006-11-17 13:52 ]</font>

[Blitzkommando]

Cream cheese is just about the perfect food though. It works in desserts, it works in appetizers, hell, I bet it would be tasty covered in honey nut cheerios. This is quite the challenge. The only thing I can think of that it might not work with would be cream cheese covered grapefruit. Somehow something so bitter with something so sweet sounds... terrible. But, if anyone was willing to test I'd love to hear the results of such an endevour.

[astuarlen]

C'mon, now, you can't just say you think it wouldn't be disgusting; you've gotta try it! I demand scientific testing and possibly a recount after that, if I don't like the results.

Also, we need clarification:

On 2006-11-16 19:28, HUnewearl_Meira wrote:
The cream cheese may be altered in any way to be included in the recipe
Consider that where cream cheese cannot be mixed directly to something, then is there some sort of recipe that both things can be included in.

I interpretted this to mean we can propose adding the cream cheese to a particular recipe to make it disgusting, but we can also suggest cream cheese + other food item alone. Hence, while you might say it's possible to make a delectable pickle-creem-cheese concoction--and, for the record, I reject this hypothesis until we get some decent testing--I'm suggesting you apply cream cheese directly to a dill pickel and "enjoy". C'mon, honestly, that can't be any good.

But the largest flaw in this challenge is the variability of individual taste. For example, I swear by the combination of strawberry yoghurt and cheddar goldfish; however, I've known many a soulless heathen to cringe at that tastethought. Ultimately, palatability, like art, is subjective.

[Mixfortune]

Brownies
Ice cream sundaes

Alternatively, baked alaska

Oatmeal
Teriyaki
Peanut butter cups

[astuarlen]

On 2006-11-17 15:12, Mixfortune wrote:
Oatmeal

Ironically, I had already planned on trying this tonight or tomorrow, since I'm out of yoghurt. :<



Teriyaki

Sounds like a winner to me.

Other ideas:
Fritos
French fries
Jolly ranchers

[HUnewearl_Meira]

On 2006-11-17 15:12, Mixfortune wrote:
Brownies
Ice cream sundaes


Whipped and sweetened cream cheese as a topping; not unlike cheesecake.



Alternatively, baked alaska


I'm going to have to find out what that is and get back to you on it.



Oatmeal

I dunno about as a hot cereal, but oatmeal can be included as part of a pie crust in a cheesecake pie, which is made with cream cheese.


Teriyaki


In what format? As a sauce... I think they can be mixed as a filling for some sort of meat-wrap.



Peanut butter cups


Cheese cake made to include candy bars. There's your work around for combining peanut butter cups (or any other candy bar) and cream cheese.


On 2006-11-17 15:20, astuarlen wrote:

Other ideas:
Fritos


Replace sour cream with cream cheese on a Frito boat. Also, Fritos & jalepino w/ cream cheese dip.



French fries


Cream cheese goes well with potatos. I think dipping would be awkward, but the fries can be smothered with some sort of cream cheese dip/sauce.



Jolly ranchers


I believe the flavors can be made to compliment eachother, but I'm not sure how.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: HUnewearl_Meira on 2006-11-17 15:55 ]</font>

[Funkomatic]

Is scorpions food? Scorpion and creamcheese ftw!

[Mixfortune]

That's why I mentioned peanut butter cups in particular rather than candy bars. Though I guess your fourth bullet stipulation covers you there.

Baked Alaska is basically a brownie base with a dome of ice cream, covered in meringue and baked in the oven.

Oatmeal in terms of the hot cereal format.
Teriyaki in terms of a meat (chicken, beef, whatever) and rice. Sushi could work with a stretch, but not so much a teriyaki bowl or what have you.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Mixfortune on 2006-11-17 17:30 ]</font>

[Sord]

On 2006-11-17 13:42, HUnewearl_Meira wrote:
Also remember Sord, that counting on it growing strange diseases is clearly not in the spirit of this venture.

well, I fail to see how it is "clearly" not in the state of this venture. The only rule that possably argues against it is


We're talking about a significant disimprovement specifically due to the cream cheese, to the point of the end result being inedible. If it simply offers no advantage, then that's not a problem.

and even then, since the bacterial growth is a result of the cream cheese being there it can still be argued that it is ultimately the cream cheese's fault it becomes inedable. The stuff is made out of cultured milk, it is bound to grow some form of mold. Sure, some have salt and preservatives in them, but it still needs to be refridgerated.

Nor does some fully formed "strange" disease have to form. There are plenty of mild forms of food poisoning. I doubt many people could drink rotten milk without chucking it up or getting diahreah.

I don't really care that it is excluded for either reason, I'm just saying it is not "clear" that it is against the rules nor is there any strangeness in it. Perhaps if you said "specifically due to the added taste of the cream cheese" or something, then yeah, it would have been clear.

Though as already mentioned, if it is just all about taste, then the whole experiment is moot since it comes down to personal opinion and circumstance. Hell, there are cultures that eat cow dung! Judging this experiment soley on additive taste alone would remove all scientific relevence that leads to an actual solid fact since it would be a matter of opinion. This is especially so since you decided that you can split up ingrediants from a complex dish and mix each one seperately. Cream cheese can be a topping for anything so long as someone is willing to eat it. If this really is just soley about taste (which I hope is isn't) then you might as well drop the subject. If it isn't, then you need to make it clear just what defines it being "totally unacceptable."

Anyways, all that aside, you say that "The cream cheese may be altered in any way to be included in the recipe," so does that include melting it or attempting to boil it down? Or would that be considered possably seperating the ingredients and thus making it void because it might not be cream cheese anymore? I doubt if you dipped a fudge pop in warm boiled cream cheese it would taste good, but once again, taste is merely a preferance here. Unless you allow for factors other than taste, this thing is pointless.

[Mixfortune]

Only Sord...
Only Sord.

[Sord]

meh, it's a bad habit

blame the mid to high school science curriculum. they just nail you with so many damn labs these days, and most of them are pretty pointless. If we mix this and this we get this. Not write 5 pages in lab notebook about it. WTF! I could have just written down the chemical equasions for the whole thing and it would have been fine, we didn't need to do a lab on it!

serisouly, has happened more times than I can count. Chemistry was a real bitch about it, but after awhile you just get used to it and get stuck in the format. Damn brainwashing >_< You know your fucked when you read over people's stuff like your science teacher >_>

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sord on 2006-11-17 23:05 ]</font>

[HUnewearl_Meira]

On 2006-11-17 18:16, Sord wrote:
Anyways, all that aside, you say that "The cream cheese may be altered in any way to be included in the recipe," so does that include melting it or attempting to boil it down? Or would that be considered possably seperating the ingredients and thus making it void because it might not be cream cheese anymore? I doubt if you dipped a fudge pop in warm boiled cream cheese it would taste good, but once again, taste is merely a preferance here. Unless you allow for factors other than taste, this thing is pointless.



The "cream cheese may be altered" rule means that it doesn't have to be cream cheese spread directly on the food in question. It means that the cream cheese may be whipped, sweetened, mixed with fruit or other flavorings, etc.

Also, seriously... WHY would you even consider spoiled cream cheese to be a factor? This is what baffles me. I have added a bullet. We are talking about cream cheese that has not gone bad, and we are trying to find something that cream cheese cannot, in some way, go with, without turning something a human being would eat into something a human being would not eat (assuming they are not clinically diagnosed with some mental and/or sensory problem that prevents them from understanding that this is not a desireable thing to eat). We're talking about, what will cream cheese just absolutely not get along with; like, say, olives in your chocolate pudding. Maybe you like olives, maybe you like chocolate pudding, but unless you're into awkward foods, you probably don't want to find olives in your chocolate pudding. Just, cream cheese, absolutely, does not match with __, nor is there any way to combine cream cheese with _[blank]_ in the same recipe to produce something you would hesitate to eat, despite that you would not hesitate to eat either cream cheese OR _[blank]_. That's what we're trying to talk about.

Furthermore, it takes days on end to grow mold and other nasty things on cream cheese, even under conducive circumstances, let alone in a kemptly maintained kitchen. How, Sord? How does this become a factor? What is going on in your life and in your mind that is making you think of these things? http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif




[b]On 2006-11-17 17:28, Mixfortune wrote:
Baked Alaska is basically a brownie base with a dome of ice cream, covered in meringue and baked in the oven.


What if the brownie had a cream cheese ripple in it, like some pastries have? Like, you can get a cream cheese danish; that variety of cream cheese baked right into the brownie, like the topping that gets baked into Mississippi Mud. Doesn't sound bad to me.



Oatmeal in terms of the hot cereal format.

I dunno, maybe a whipped, sweetened cream cheese stirred into it?


Teriyaki in terms of a meat (chicken, beef, whatever) and rice. Sushi could work with a stretch, but not so much a teriyaki bowl or what have you.



I can definitely see cream cheese being worked into something like a California Roll. It certainly doesn't seem to be a natural addition to any sort of teriyaki-seasoned meat, though. I'm not familiar with any teriyaki-based recipes to be able to figure on somewhere that cream cheese might be slipped in. I'll go ahead and begin the list with it, until I can figure something out.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: HUnewearl_Meira on 2006-11-18 02:33 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: HUnewearl_Meira on 2006-11-20 12:57 ]</font>

[Skuda]

cream cheese and peanutbutter on a slice of balogna :3

[MaximusLight]

On 2006-11-18 02:50, Skuda wrote:
cream cheese and peanutbutter on a slice of balogna :3



Scott quite telling they your secret receips

[Wyndham]

On 2006-11-18 02:50, Skuda wrote:
cream cheese and peanutbutter on a slice of balogna :3


that sounds interesting. o_O

[astuarlen]

Update from the front: oatmeal with strawberry cream cheese is delish. :>

[Shadowpawn]

On 2006-11-18 02:50, Skuda wrote:
cream cheese and peanutbutter on a slice of balogna :3



Now THAT doesn't sound right. ;(

[Sord]

On 2006-11-18 02:24, HUnewearl_Meira wrote:
What is going on in your life and in your mind that is making you think of these things? http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

in the long run, I have waaaaay to much time on my hands. Then again, I could ask the same thing about you and your cream cheese. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[Stan]

Crackers + cream cheese a gogo!

[astuarlen]

Cream cheese and klompen? :3

[Guitarsmasher]

cream cheese + cheese wiz + smores pop tart and a grape

[ChocoboRemiX]

Cream cheese and waffles? ¿O_o?

[HUnewearl_Meira]

On 2006-11-19 07:44, astuarlen wrote:
Cream cheese and klompen? :3



Can you eat clogs? o_O


On 2006-11-19 19:29, Guitarsmasher wrote:
cream cheese + cheese wiz + smores pop tart and a grape



That sounds like a bad combination, even without the cream cheese. Take out the cheese whiz, and try it with sweetened, whipped cream cheese, and we might have a winner. Again, I'm not trying to proove that cream cheese can bring something back from the dead, only that cream cheese can be added to nearly anything that works already.


On 2006-11-19 20:06, ChocoboRemiX wrote:
Cream cheese and waffles? ¿O_o?



Whipped & sweetened cream cheese FTW!

[astuarlen]

Methinks Meira's "study" is funded by the fine folks at Philly.

[Shadowpawn]

On 2006-11-19 21:09, astuarlen wrote:
Methinks Meira's "study" is funded by the fine folks at Philly.



We're not funding him!

[Mixfortune]

On 2006-11-18 19:57, astuarlen wrote:
Update from the front: oatmeal with strawberry cream cheese is delish. :>


Shhhh!

Just take the bribe and run, will ya? http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif

[astuarlen]

On 2006-11-20 01:02, Mixfortune wrote:
Shhhh!
Just take the bribe and run, will ya? http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif


Sure takes a lot of cheek to tell someone with no legs to run. :<

[HUnewearl_Meira]

On 2006-11-19 21:09, astuarlen wrote:
Methinks Meira's "study" is funded by the fine folks at Philly.



Pfft, I wish I were getting funded for this!

[Mixfortune]

On 2006-11-20 05:44, astuarlen wrote:

On 2006-11-20 01:02, Mixfortune wrote:
Shhhh!
Just take the bribe and run, will ya? http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif


Sure takes a lot of cheek to tell someone with no legs to run. :<



I meant your presidential campaign, silly.
The Cream Cheese Platform.

[Solstis]

Shitake mushrooms and cream cheese.

Uh...

Bagels?

[astuarlen]

On 2006-11-20 10:31, Mixfortune wrote:
I meant your presidential campaign, silly.
The Cream Cheese Platform.


I'll stand by my beliefs, but you haven't given me a whole lot to stand on. Those planks are getting a little melty.

[Lusky]

Ho Ho's or Twinkie Filling.....

[medusae]

cheetos or doritos.

sardines.

[fronebullare]

With recent events in mind...cream cheese and turkey

cream cheese and apple pie

cream cheese and gruyere...