Sgt_Shligger
Dec 15, 2006, 04:33 PM
Damn old but it retains humor. D&D style ;D
The Wandering Damage System Matrix
Roll Result
1 Your character has fallen down a flight of stairs; roll his dexterity or less on percentile dice, or else consult Limb Loss Subtable.
2 The monster your character just killed gets up and attacks him, doing 8-80 points of damage.
3 Your character smells smoke; his right arm is on fire. Take 14 points of damage and save vs. gangrene.
4 Your character cuts himself while shaving; consult Limb Loss Subtable.
5 Your character’s nose hairs catch fire and he dies of smoke inhalation.
6 Your character stumbles backward into a yawning chasm and disappears from view.
7 The next time your character says something, he eats his words, chokes on them, and dies.
8 Something cuts your character’s nose off, doing 2-12 points damage and really messing up his charisma.
9 Your character steps on a piece of glass; consult Limb Loss Subtable.
10 Your character suddenly catches a severe case of brain death.
11 Something invisible chews on your character, doing 6-36 points damage.
12 Your character develops an incredibly severe case of arthritis and can grasp nothing with his hands; he drops anything he’s holding — and if that happened to be a sword or an axe, consult the Limb Loss Subtable.
13-20 Consult the Random Damage Subtable for no reason whatsoever.
Limb Loss Subtable (roll d6)
1 — Left leg gone
2 — Right leg gone
3 — Left arm gone
4 — Right arm gone
5 — Head gone
6 — Torso cut in half
Random Damage Subtable Diceroll Result
01-05 Take 10 hit points damage.
06-10 Take 15 hit points damage.
11-20 Take 30 hit points damage.
21-25 Take 10 hit points damage and consult Limb Loss Subtable, modifying die roll by +5.
26-30 Take 10 hit points damage and roll again on Wandering Damage System Matrix.
31-35 Take 15 hit points damage and then take 30 more.
36-40 Roll every die you own for damage.
41-45 Take 17 hit points damage.
46-50 Take 42 hit points damage.
51-55 Multiply your character’s age by 5. Take three times that much damage.
56-60 Take 24 hit points damage and then take 31 more.
61-65 Take 1,000 hit points damage and roll again.
66-70 Roll every die within 30 feet for damage.
71-73 Add up the total hit points of everyone in the party. Take that much damage.
74-75 Take 3 hit points damage and consider yourself very lucky — for the time being.
76-00 What? You didn’t get hurt? That’s impossible — this system is foolproof. Roll again.
The Wandering Damage System Matrix
Roll Result
1 Your character has fallen down a flight of stairs; roll his dexterity or less on percentile dice, or else consult Limb Loss Subtable.
2 The monster your character just killed gets up and attacks him, doing 8-80 points of damage.
3 Your character smells smoke; his right arm is on fire. Take 14 points of damage and save vs. gangrene.
4 Your character cuts himself while shaving; consult Limb Loss Subtable.
5 Your character’s nose hairs catch fire and he dies of smoke inhalation.
6 Your character stumbles backward into a yawning chasm and disappears from view.
7 The next time your character says something, he eats his words, chokes on them, and dies.
8 Something cuts your character’s nose off, doing 2-12 points damage and really messing up his charisma.
9 Your character steps on a piece of glass; consult Limb Loss Subtable.
10 Your character suddenly catches a severe case of brain death.
11 Something invisible chews on your character, doing 6-36 points damage.
12 Your character develops an incredibly severe case of arthritis and can grasp nothing with his hands; he drops anything he’s holding — and if that happened to be a sword or an axe, consult the Limb Loss Subtable.
13-20 Consult the Random Damage Subtable for no reason whatsoever.
Limb Loss Subtable (roll d6)
1 — Left leg gone
2 — Right leg gone
3 — Left arm gone
4 — Right arm gone
5 — Head gone
6 — Torso cut in half
Random Damage Subtable Diceroll Result
01-05 Take 10 hit points damage.
06-10 Take 15 hit points damage.
11-20 Take 30 hit points damage.
21-25 Take 10 hit points damage and consult Limb Loss Subtable, modifying die roll by +5.
26-30 Take 10 hit points damage and roll again on Wandering Damage System Matrix.
31-35 Take 15 hit points damage and then take 30 more.
36-40 Roll every die you own for damage.
41-45 Take 17 hit points damage.
46-50 Take 42 hit points damage.
51-55 Multiply your character’s age by 5. Take three times that much damage.
56-60 Take 24 hit points damage and then take 31 more.
61-65 Take 1,000 hit points damage and roll again.
66-70 Roll every die within 30 feet for damage.
71-73 Add up the total hit points of everyone in the party. Take that much damage.
74-75 Take 3 hit points damage and consider yourself very lucky — for the time being.
76-00 What? You didn’t get hurt? That’s impossible — this system is foolproof. Roll again.