Zorael scurried through his kitchen, preparing a dinner for the guests he was expecting. His ice oven was preheating, and his ice stove was boiling water in an ice pot. All of this was hard, because it was all made of ice.
Soon, some dear friends were coming over to visit. He hadn’t seen them since the last time he saw them. Like all angels, they were vegetarians. Because it’s easy to swear off meat and feel good about yourself when you don’t have to eat. And they didn’t have to eat because they’re angels.
Angels are dead.
But because his friends were visiting his home, they were going to not be dead. Which is easier than it seems, really. You just have to stop being dead. But they were still vegetarians, and Zorael had to make them food. So, he planned out a purely vegetarian meal for them to eat.
After the ice oven stopped melting and became hot, Zorael left the room. He brought back a cow by its leash. It was a vegetable cow. So it makes vegetable meat. Vegetarians love vegetable meat.
Zorael killed the vegetable cow. Its vegetable blood spilled all over the floor, and it made a horrible scream as it vegetable died. He cut up the vegetable cow into flanks of vegetable steaks, and put them in the ice oven to cook.
Just as he did that, he heard a doorbell. He picked up his phone, because it had a doorbell ringtone.
“Hello?” Zorael inquired.
“Why are you answering your phone? I rang the doorbell,” he heard his friend say.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I have a doorbell ringtone on my phone,” he said in reply.
“Oh, I see. That’s a common mistake to make,” that guy he was talking to said.
Zorael went to the door and opened it. Which was easy because the door didn’t exist. He was so excited to see his friends, which I just now noticed I forgot to give names to. They’re angels, right? And angels names tend to end with el, right? Then how about Kal-el and Loriel?
“Kal-el! Loriel! It’s been so long!” Zorael said monotonously.
“You spelled my name wrong. It’s spelled ‘L’Oreal’,” Loriel said in reply.
“Oh, shoot. Then your name doesn’t end in el, and doesn’t make sense for an angel’s name. We’re going to have to think of something else then,” Zorael said like a pigeon.
“No, it’s fine,” L’oriel said. “Kal-el and I got married. I had my last name changed. I’m L’ore-el now.”
“Okay,” said Zorael, this time not like a pigeon.
Zorael showed him his ice palace, which I’m too lazy to describe again. I spent two chapters building it up. Go read those if you forgot what it looked like.
“And that’s what my ice palace looks like,” Zorael said audibly.
“What?” L-ori’el asked.
“I forget. Look at the line above what you said for what I said,” Zorael said inaudibly.
“That’s a good point,” said that person whose name I can’t spell.
“Segwaying awkwardly to a new subject to continue the plot, what would you two like for dinner?” Zorael asked as if he didn’t already cook something.
“Truth, Justice, and the American Way!” Kal-el said so I can get my Superman reference out of the way.
“Okay,” said Zorael.
The angel couple sat down on the ice chairs sitting under the ice table in the ice dining room. But the ice cracked and shattered, so they just got a sofa instead and sat on that.
Zorael came out soon after with the dinner. He served them all steaming plates of vegetable steaks.
“Thank you for making a purely vegetarian dinner. It’s sad to think that so many animals die just so that people can eat meat. It’s so much better eating not meat instead,” said somebody. I wasn’t paying attention to who was talking.
“Okay,” said Zorael. “I am going to get the sides so we don’t have a boring meal.”
“Levia!” whispered Zorael. “Get down here and say hello to our guests! Also get the rest of the food that I conveniently made off screen!”
Then Levia was in the room because why not.
“What am I doing in this chapter? You haven’t introduced me as a character yet!” Levia said logically.
“Zorafin wanted you in this special, and didn’t want to have to rush through your origin story,” Zorael retorted soundly.
“Actually, it’s spelled Zorafim. You can see the spelling right next to this post.” Levia guffawed.
“What’s a guffaw?” Zorael asked with passion.
“I’m not sure. Chuy used it once in his fanfic, and it looked fun to write,” Levia replied with words. “Here’s your food, by the way. I got it so we can start the next scene.”
Levia put several plates on the table. On them were some Truth, some Justice, and a bit of the American Way.
“We can’t eat that!” said Lor’ea-l, so I could get her name wrong. “They’re abstract concepts based on the ideals of a culture!”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Levia said in response. She then put a meat salad on the table, which there was room for because that other stuff doesn’t exist.
“Disgust!” Kal-el said in gasp. “I cannot eat that! It is not vegetable like this steak which you slaughtered a vegetable cow for!”
“Oh no, don’t worry,” said Zorael. “I grew the meat from a plant.”
“We cannot eat meat! But we will anyway because I don’t feel like adding conflict in this story,” Kal-el said even though it was my opinion.
Vegetable cow then walked in, even though they were eating him. He was wearing bitchen’ shades and a rad leather jacket. He said something about how hypocritical the situation was with some inspirational music playing in the background. He then walked away.
“Okay,” said Levia, because Zorael said it too many times already.
Everyone ate and said things, and did things people normally do at dinners. I don’t know what these things are because I always zone out when I have a dinner, so I can’t describe the scene to you. Just know that it was really lovely, and you appreciate reading it.
Fierce Ziz tore through the room, fluttering his mighty wings in an attempt to keep balance. Chasing after him was mighty Behemoth, muscles rippling as he charged forward. Ziz jumped high, and lashed at his foe with sharp claws and mighty fangs. Behemoth defended with his great arms, thick as tree trunks and twice as hard. He swiped and struck at his opponent, who was unable to land any solid blows. Finally, Behemoth found his hold on his opponent. He grabbed, and spun his body in a swift motion to throw Ziz out of the room. With the great bird tumbling out of the room, Behemoth charged forward, trampling out of the room and creating mighty quakes in his stead.
“That was gay,” said Lori’al.
I don’t feel like writing any more, so this chapter ends here. Please give my thread five stars.
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Zorael really seems like a family man in this chapter. I'm glad he didn't become a weirdo loner during those centuries of tedious research and experimentation.
At first I was a little confused about Peter, wondering if I should know who that's supposed to be. You've introduced a lot of Zorael's creations by now so I thought maybe I forgot about one, but I guess not. Also, I'm wondering what role these other creations will have once the "main star" is born. Will they continue to serve a purpose, perhaps (through their interactions) helping to shape the star's personality, or will they simply become background characters, rarely to be seen again?
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