Daydreams of an angel and a fish

[yoshiblue]

I believe in you.

[Zorafim]

Your belief was not well founded :|

I read a little of stukasa's stuff, and got an itch to write a little. It's not a continuation of my current story or anything. I've always wanted to write for Levia, and have never gotten the chance. So, may as well, right?

I had a bit more planned, but it was already almost getting to proper chapter length.

Spoiler!

She gave a gentle rap at the door.

Levia stood in front of a simple home. The outside seemed well taken care of. The walls were relatively clean, the plants and lawn trim, and nothing was noticeably out of place. She stood in one of two rows of homes similarly kept, and similarly built.
For this age and place, a common home in a common neighborhood.

Levia tried to fit in, and her father provided well enough for her to do so. She wore a long skirt to her ankles, and cotton stockings underneath. On top she wore a long sleeved buttoned blouse, with a short shawl covering her shoulders. Though she preferred to keep her face hidden out of habit, she knew of no clothing in the current trend that would provide that function for her. She made due by hiding her face behind her long, straight hair.
Her clothing was white with blue accents. That seemed to be her father's preference, and she had no objections.

Her wait wasn't too long. The door slid open halfway, allowing the owner of the home to peer outside. She stood expectantly, not giving any motion of invitation.
She wasn't too old. Not young, but showing few if any signs of age. She dressed conservatively, though not moreso than Levia. Simply comfortable and aesthetically pleasing clothing expected from a woman like her.

Levia allowed the woman to look her over, not meeting her sight. She looked down almost dejectedly, keeping her arms in front of her almost as a way of protecting her from the woman's careful inspection.
"Yes?" she asked.

"I'm...sorry to bother you," said Levia. "I've been traveling, and, I made a mistake..."

She gave a short pause, her right hand moving to hold her left arm above her elbow.

"I have no place to stay for the night, and..."

Her head still tilted down, her eyes glanced to the woman's body.

"...I don't know what else to do..."

Not seeing a change in demeanor, she cast her eyes back downward.

"I've already tried a few other homes, and..."

She stood awkwardly on the porch, waiting for some sign from the woman.

"...I'm sorry, I'll try some place else. Thank you for your time."

She turned around slowly, and took a few short steps before she heard the woman finally answer.
"No, it's fine. Come in."

Levia looked over her shoulder to her, and then gave a short smile. The woman opened the door for her, and she lowered her head humbly as she walked through the doorway.

[yoshiblue]

It happens, and its a start. A smile though, that's new.

[Zorafim]

Huh, I guess it is. This takes place long after where my story is supposed to be, so she's done some maturing. It's probably not something I could do in my next chapter.

[stukasa]

I miss Levia's adventures! Stop getting distracted and get back to writing!

Spoiler!

I liked the way you set the scene. It could have been anywhere at any time, but you used the clothing as a way of defining it. The style and conservative dress tells us a bit about the setting without describing much about it directly.

Also, it was pretty funny how Levia played on that woman's kindness. It's like she was giving puppy dog eyes and waiting for a treat. xD I have to admit, though, I'm guilty of doing the same thing from time to time. I'll be like, "Hey, I hate to ask this, and maybe it's too much trouble, but..." And of course, when you put something that way, people feel more compelled to help. They'll say, "Nah, it's no trouble, don't worry about it!"

When you wrote this story, did you have an idea what Levia was doing in that place, or why she needed a room for the night? I'm curious whether you didn't mention it because you felt it wasn't important to the story, or because you didn't bother thinking that far about it.

[Zorafim]

The reason came first, actually. I suppose I can go over the rest, since I'm not planning on going any further. Or maybe I am, and saying this will screw over any surprise. Iunno. I kinda wanna do an alien world or action scene next.
Asking for a room was just a cover to get closer to the woman. The whole thing I wanted to portray was performing a cruel deed - erm, murder - with kindness and respect. I wanted to go over minimizing pain and fear through clever ruses or tricks, while maximizing the amount of joy she feels in her last moments.
But all of that got too heavy for the amount of work I wanted to put into this. Why would I want to kill her, why is killing her the best option, why kill her now. If I wanted to plan all that out, I'd just work on my next chapter. I got so far as making her the catalyst of a horrible movement, but then why kill her instead of try to convince her to change, or prevent the future steps needed to get to that movement?
I may as well just work on making it easier for me to put thought to text.

I prefer to keep my stories vague, but for some reason this time around I had a certain look in mind. I'm sure I had a reason. But either way, the detail was fun in this case.

[stukasa]

Whoa, that was a lot darker than I expected. xD It puts a whole different spin on what I read. I assume Levia had a good reason to do that, since I don't think you'd take her down the "cold-blooded killer" path.

Also, I wanted to reply to your comment from my story thread here, to keep all the Levia talk in one place. So...

I don't know! I couldn't come up with anything good enough!

So you knew you were one chapter from the end, but you didn't know how to end it? Surely you had some idea in mind, right? Since I'm assuming Levia's journey isn't over, maybe a look back while at the same time looking forward? Something to tie together the journey, or to hint at where Levia will eventually end up?

[Zorafim]

Philosophy fascinates me, and it's most easily talked about in life-or-death situations. I could talk about raising money or teaching classes about a subject, but it doesn't have the same immediate impact.

The idea was, this woman was somehow responsible for something terrible in the future. Perhaps she becomes a dictator, or starts an evil religion, or simply influences other people to start doing bad things. So, that needs to be stopped. But more interesting to me would be how she handles the situation. Despite needing her dead, she understands that her life has value. Timing would be important too, since killing too early would mean she gets less time to live and her family and friends less time to be with her. But too late, and whatever negative impact she has would seep out. And still, she finds value in providing a pleasant experience in her final moments. She would be kind and polite simply because it's a nice thing to do for someone.

But still, it was too heavy for me to get into for such a minor snippet. If you like, you can think of what happens next is Levia subtly changing the woman's mind and world view so that everybody is happy in the future, and no pain ever happens again.
Yay!


I never wanted my story to end. I simply wanted to get to a point where I no longer needed to establish characters. Levia's lessons are all there, but I still need to put them all together and show how she will grow. Levia at the moment has a no-nonsense mindset, and goes straight for the objective without needing to worry about anything else. Levia in the future is much more subtle, putting a lot of thought and effort into each action she does without anyone noticing. Current Levia will smack down a building to take what she needs, while future Levia would borrow it and return it before anyone notices it's gone. And while current Levia saves the world, future Levia makes the world a better place.
I don't know how to show all that. I might even need to make a new miniseries to show it. But nothing comes to mind.

[stukasa]

So... random conservatively-dressed woman is future space Hitler? ...I don't buy it. (Kidding~ )

You say you never wanted your story to end. But you also said you only have one chapter left to write. Are you saying it would only take one more chapter to reach the point where you don't need to establish characters? Or were you referring to something else?

As far as a mini-series goes, you could always do it like my original story, which was episodic in nature with time gaps between each episode. You've pretty much been using that format anyway. Maybe just add in some common threads linking the different parts. A long-term goal to be accomplished, a villain to be defeated, a lesson (or lessons) to be learned, stuff like that. Things that will ultimately push Levia in the direction she's destined to go. If you're fishing for ideas (pun intended), try looking back at your earlier work. Maybe there's something with potential there. You know, bringing the story full circle while also pushing it forward.

[Zorafim]

Yeah, I just need one more to finish the "story", and then the rest is just whatever I want. I always envisioned this as kind of a Dr. Who type deal, where I just go to random worlds and have an adventure. But I also didn't want to just say "HEY HERE'S THIS FISH" and be done with it. There are a few subtleties of the world that I wanted to explore before getting to where I wanted.

Hm...that makes sense. I always used the mini-series style before. I think I blocked myself into a corner because technically, this last chapter is the end of a mini-series. But there's nothing say that it can't be its own mini-series too.
Especially after a, what, two year break?

I thought about splitting it up into 3 chapters, but no matter what I did I couldn't shake the feeling that what I had was just bad and not worth going into. That I needed more. Maybe I can split it up more and take each point one by one...