Oof, I've gotta study the opening chord of this song!
You go into detail describing an established character. This is something I've thought about.
On the one hand, you don't want to bore the reader with repeated information. On the other hand, the reader does need to be reminded at times.
I personally appreciated the refresher, so I guess that helps answer that for a bit.
A...can catapult.
To throw monomates at people.
Where do you get these ideas?
I've gotta say, this one is different. Refreshing. New character focus, new setting. Does a good job at mixing things up.
The...maintenance tunnel theme really threw me off. I had to go back twice to figure out what just happened.
That is a really weird transition, from a soccer field to, what I presume to be a dirty tunnel with a tea table set out.
I was actually thinking about the homework copying too, since stukasa mentioned it. While reading, I thought about anti-cheating measures. By the looks of it, each student gets their own pad. So, I would think a workable design is that each student's pad only opens when touched by that student, either due to them inputting a password, or reading their photon signature, or what have you. The instant they stop touching it, it turns off. So the only way to cheat is if one student holds the pad up for the other student while they copy down the work.
It would also need to prevent the student from copy-pasting any homework text.
But I've gotta say, I like the pad system for students. I guess that's not too novel, but it was a nice world-building touch.
I kinda liked the ending as-is. It was enough. If you had a scene with the girls, then that would take too much of a focus.
I felt like you got out enough of what you needed.
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