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  1. #31
    Space Hobobo Bo Bobo yoshiblue's Avatar
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    -Cargo-
    Spoiler!


    Not sure how often I will do these but I felt like making filler parts for story that may add something but don't really move the story along. I also wrote this just because.
    -Filler-
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  2. #32
    Space Hobobo Bo Bobo yoshiblue's Avatar
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    -Mandragora -
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    -Filler-
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  3. #33
    Curiously attractive for a fish man Zorafim's Avatar
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    I'm still having trouble figuring out who you're referring to when you speak. Don't be afraid to use names more often.

    So... you like Bossa Novas, huh?

  4. #34
    Space Hobobo Bo Bobo yoshiblue's Avatar
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    Heh, The ironic part was it was more clear but I felt I used too many names, he/she/him/hers and ended up cutting it down by a lot; while also shortening some, maybe more than I should have, lines.

    Bossa Nova is pretty nice. Couldn't really think of good waiting songs though. So that's why I went with it.

    Many thanks for the feedback. Sad to see I still haven't truly fixed the issue.
    Last edited by yoshiblue; Jun 18, 2014 at 05:53 PM.

  5. #35
    Curiously attractive for a fish man Zorafim's Avatar
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    It's hard. I know it seems awkward if you use names too much, but clarity is more important than fluidity.

    And yeah, Bossa Novas are pretty baller.

  6. #36
    Space Hobobo Bo Bobo yoshiblue's Avatar
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    Wrote this because yay free time.
    -Extra-
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  7. #37
    Space Hobobo Bo Bobo yoshiblue's Avatar
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    -FillerIII-
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  8. #38
    Space Hobobo Bo Bobo yoshiblue's Avatar
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    -Hitch in the Plan-
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    Author note shindigs
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    Last edited by yoshiblue; Jul 1, 2014 at 06:54 PM.

  9. #39
    Space Hobobo Bo Bobo yoshiblue's Avatar
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    - Seeking Answers -
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    -Filler-
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  10. #40
    Space Hobobo Bo Bobo yoshiblue's Avatar
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    - Civilian Shift -
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    -Filler-
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    Author Junk
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    Last edited by yoshiblue; Jul 14, 2014 at 03:33 AM.

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