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  1. #11

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    Okay, so here we go; I’m not 100% happy with it, but I got to the point where I probably would have just kept discarding and restarting, so I’m just putting it up as is (though I may go back and do another edit on it later).
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    We Both Have Pretty Bad Vision

    Spoiler!


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Here’s my thoughts and rationale on the piece first, so light spoiler alert if you decide to start here:
    Spoiler!


    EDIT (05/19/2018): Added an audio version of the script.
    Last edited by Anduril; May 19, 2018 at 11:33 PM.

  2. #12
    Curiously attractive for a fish man Zorafim's Avatar
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    Spoiler!


    So, I think it's common for us to do the chapter first, and then any thoughts about it afterwards. That way the reader is uncorrupted while they read the chapter, and then they can start thinking about discussion after they read it. But it's a format I came up with, so, whatever floats your boat.
    Last edited by Zorafim; Apr 22, 2018 at 01:42 PM.

  3. #13
    Space Hobobo Bo Bobo yoshiblue's Avatar
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    Yeb, the only reason you would do it first is if you wanted to put something in people's minds before they got into a chapter, or for them to not get the wrong idea afterwards.
    Spoiler!

  4. #14

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    I can see your guys' point regarding that, but I guess it just comes from the way I have dealt with literature and scripts; I'm used to discussing things like any foreword, authorial intent, and themes before going into the actual reading itself. It's probably also the reason why I rarely have problems with plot spoilers in general since I still find enjoyment in seeing how the events that have been "spoiled" play out. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
    Spoiler!

  5. #15

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    Home
    Spoiler!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Ok, so about this one:
    Spoiler!


    EDIT 2018 May 06: Slight modification of some dialogue for consistency with future vignette.
    Last edited by Anduril; May 6, 2018 at 04:27 PM.

  6. #16
    Curiously attractive for a fish man Zorafim's Avatar
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    I have to say, this format is really neat. It gives you a perspective of the character that you wouldn't otherwise get. It's simultaneously intimate and...I want to say, empty. The words would be said whether you were there or not, but at the same time they feel like they're directed toward you.
    Definitely a great spice to use.

  7. #17
    Space Hobobo Bo Bobo yoshiblue's Avatar
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    I somehow missed this. Though I guess that was because it was one of those times where it says there is a lot of new posts when there weren't, or there are new posts but it says i've already read everything. Some no titles are in bold. Odd times.
    Spoiler!

  8. #18
    Curiously attractive for a fish man Zorafim's Avatar
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    Spoiler!

  9. #19

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    @Zorafim: Yeah, it's a lot like a diary, but it's not something that you can go back and rewrite to better fit what you want to transcribe (well, you could rerecord, but let's assume Andrea doesn't); it is supposed to feel a bit more raw since an audio log would pick up small things like a voice trailing off in thought.

    @yoshiblue: The forum has been doing weird things, like for me, some threads won't clear unless I manual mark them as read.
    Spoiler!

  10. #20

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    Journal Excerpts: AP228/09/11-10/12
    Spoiler!


    ~~~~~~~~~
    This one is something that I had first started shortly after I wrote "Snowy," but I didn't get very far. This version is close to the original version in concept, but none of the original text is part of it. Also, to get consistency with this piece, I did go back and make a slight edit to "Home."
    Spoiler!
    Last edited by Anduril; May 8, 2018 at 01:05 AM.

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