Well guys, I decided to try for a little romantic comedy action for a valentines fic. So before the fans start screaming at me for the AOA sequal, cool yourselfs, Im taking a short break and writing this. I hope you find this enjoyable.
Chapter One: Introductions...
If the name Ragol Love summons up images of Rappy mating season or hot and wild Boomas, or Hildebears with whips and chains, then you need to google search for Sick and Nasty Porn. This is a tale of a few hunters that fall in love by chance. Alphonse Atsushi Derrick Ottoman was not fond of his name, not fond of it at all. It brought him lots of jokes about his name, so mostly he took to being called Derrick, which out of all of his name, he liked the most. Now Derrick being the lonely and clueless twenty-three year old HUmar, was just like any other resident of Ragol, mostly loveless and confused. He had no sense of purpose and was out of his group of friends, the only one who had no luck with the women, and was likely the only virgin out of them all, this was not really a great booster of his already sagging self esteem. Now this all is pretty boring, Derrick is just like the rest of the sad, sad world. Maybe so, but his story is one that needs to be told.
It was a day like any other up on Pioneer 2, with many still waiting the construction of homes down on the surface, most still lived in apartments and houses on Pioneer 2. But lets get past all this bull and find one Alphonse Atsushi Derrick Ottoman, and his dismal life.
"Good morning.", said Derrick. "Wait, who the hell am I saying good morning to anyway?"
Derrick got up and found himself in the center of a wasteland of dirty underwear and socks that he could have sworn had minds of their own. From this place called his bedroom he went to the kitchen, and found some cold pizza. Soon the phone rang, and it was the last thing he wanted to hear.
"Hey Sushi!", said the voice on the other line, who was none other than his best friend, Vash The Pope. "Me and Ra'in are going out on the town today, wanna come with?"
"Damn Pope, I don't know.", said Derrick. "Its just that..."
"Its just that you're a twenty-three year old virgin who to this date has not had a single girlfriend or been on a single date.", said Pope firmly. "You need to get yourself a girl, mate."
"Fine, I'll go.", said Derrick. "Just stop calling me Sushi."
So later Derrick met up with Vash The Pope, the tall and dashing RAmar, and Ra'in, the very attractive RAmarl to which he was never close from. Derrick always hated going out in public with his friends when they brought their girlfriends along. Now this right now sounds like a sappy ass story where the main character commits suicide, the end. But its not! Though he does try to commit suicide, this is what happens.
"Goodbye Ragol, you raging hormonal bitch-goddess of a world.", said Derrick, putting the rope around his waist and readying the rock on the other end.
A lone FOnewearl walked up to Derrick and said, "Hello, random person!"
"Uh, miss. Would you mind leaving me to die in relative peace, please.", said Derrick, straining to lift the rock.
"Going to kill yourself, eh?", asked the FOnewearl. "If your trying to do so, your making a half-ass attempt at it."
"Yea well, who asked you anyway?", replied Derrick, who was about to dislocate his shoulders under the strain of the rock. "Last time I checked, you are still alive so you don't know what your talking about."
"Just saying, your not going to die by leaping into the water with a rock to your waist.", said the FOnewearl. "Besides, you have got tons to live for. Judging by your choice of place to die, you are a virgin in the early to mid twenties who to this point has had few to none girlfriends or dates."
"How in the bloody freaking hell did you come up with such a...", asked Derrick, dumbfounded by the girl's exact definition of his motives.
"Accurate description?", replied the FOnewearl. "Im just a very good judge of character. Besides, people like that come down here all the time to die, I like to call this bridge, 'Lost Hopes Of Love'."
"Heh.", said Derrick, now just noticing that the FOnewearl was very attractive.
The two stood there with neigh a word to say between them, then the FOnewearl made the first move and said, "My name is Laieth Alexandria Noratakun."
"Uh my name is Alphonse Atsushi Derrick Ottoman, but you can call me Derrick, cause the rest of my name pisses me off."
"See now, you don't really want to kill yourself.", said Laieth, smiling. "You just needed someone to talk you down."
"Yea. Thanks for that by the way.", said Derrick.
"Not a problem.", said Laieth. "So, your really a virgin in your twenties?"
"Yes, thanks for rubbing it in.", said Derrick, kicking a can as he walked.
"Don't feel alone or bad.", said Laieth, placing a hand on Derrick's shoulder. "Im 21 and still a virgin."
"Well, thanks for that.", said Derrick. "Now I better be going home."
"Like hell! You already tried to kill yourself once, Im putting you on suicide watch.", said Laieth.
"Heh, is this how you pick up all your men?", joked Derrick.
"I am not trying to pick you up!", said Laieth, blushing. "Im just trying to save the population. And its final, your sleeping at my place tonight."
"Fine, Laieth.", said Derrick. "But lets get something to eat first, trying to kill yourself takes a lot outta you."
"Fine by me.", said Laieth with a smile. "But your paying!"
As Derrick and Laieth set off for a place to eat, Derrick began to notice every detail of Laieth's appearance. She was around 5"7, clad in red and purple. She didn't have huge heaving breasts, nor did she wear too much make up. Her deep blue eyes were piercing, and they had the aura of kindness that would make a Delsaber stop in it's tracks and turn good. Though young, Laieth was not only smart, but also wise. Now as stupid as that sounds, I mean she could not only fix a problem, but learn from this experience. Big deal, I know, but this adds to her over all judgement. To top off her appearance, Laieth had flowing blue hair, blue as the sky. The two had finally settled on a place to eat, a small restaurant called "Sachi's Place". The stepped in to find a HUnewearl behind a bar who greeted them with a simple "Hello! I assume table for two?". The two sat down and got to the task of ordering.
"So, Laieth, what are you gonna eat?", asked Derrick. "Your not some kinda fruity Vegetarian are you?"
"Nope!", replied Laieth. "I love meat! And Im having fried Rappy."
"I'll have it too!", said Derrick.
As they waited for their food, the two got deeper into conversation.
"Say, Laieth.", asked Derrick. "What are you in to?"
"Oh you know.", replied Laieth. "Satanic rituals, ritualistic animal sacrafice, performing back alley castrations, oh and I am really an ax murder. Plus I was born a man."
Derrick just stared.
"Damn, lighten up!", said Laieth, playfully hitting Derrick in the chest. "I was joking! I just like to do that to guys to see if they are strange or not. Its my test-a-date system!"
"Okay...", said Derrick, still a little shocked.
"And judging by your reaction, you're a little uptight tonight.", said Laieth. "But all in all, you seem like you're a normal person. Cant see why you cant get any. Unless it is, that you're a..."
"What are you getting at, Laieth?", asked Derrick, a little confused.
"Nothing. Nothing.", replied Laieth, chuckling a little.
So the two finished their dinner and headed for a bar instead of Laieth's house. Little did either know this would end up being more than they bargained for.
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Temjin-On on 2004-02-13 15:25 ]</font>
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