Thanks for listening, and yelling (long, read at own discret

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

"You're going to do WHAT?!"

Hey, damn. You don't pay attention to me anyway. Too little to late to care, so stop with the made for TV act, dad.

Sat down with my parents, to talk. If you have ever done this, you know it isn't fun. For me it always ends, badly.

"So, you're quitting your job?"

"Yeah, I can't handle it. I'm not appreciating the workload and what happens, everyday without fail."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to get my license, by taking the written driver's test again, and then signing up for driver's training. Mom said I should drive for a few months, since I'm starting really late, and the more practice the better."

"What then?"

"Try to start out at the local community college, sooner rather than later, working my way up. I can live at Grandma's and help her out with things when (older bro) doesn't want to."

"When do classes start? In like two weeks, you're going to do all that in two weeks?!!!"

"No, I just said..."

"So what I'm hearing is you're going to do nothing for the next few months?!!"

"No, what did I say?"

"Your job is bad?! I had to blah blah blah, when I worked in the city when you were young I stayed out 'til 3AM and had to go to work the next day! What?! You come home latest at 11PM? 11:30? I had a boss who wanted me to go into a metting with clients and I didn't do the job, so I knew I would get my ass handed to me. Then my co-worker said you're chicken, but I'm not chicken, I never back down from that(fucking back to the future line dad, WTF)! When I was young if I lost a fight I wouldn't come in the house, my dad wouldn't let me! I never lost a fight only once when I was jumped by 3 guys, then I got all of them back, blah blah blah"

"I work plenty of 10, 11, 12 hour days. No vacation, hardly any lunch breaks since people are stupid and I don't get to sit down, I've worked 2 years straight, how much more do you need me to work?!"

"You look tired." -Mom

"I don't like yelling!"

"Another thing! You stay up 'til 3 in the morning 4 5 6 7 in the morning?! Internet, games, sit in your room all day! and you sleep 15 hours straight!"

"What? Nobody sleeps 15 hours straight! I would get bed sores and hurt like hell. I know how much I do and do not sleep, and know my sleep cycle is screwed up, but I hate my job soo much that I don't want to wake up in the morning to go to it, work all day, then go straight to sleep to do it again! i need to relax sometime, try to have fun! I can sleep less than 5 hours and still do 3 times the job of the next person at work!"

"Sleep has nothing to do with work!"

"But I work plenty for my age, don't do anything else, don't have fun/friends/etc."

"Sleep and work have nothing to do with anything related!"

I forgot how the arguement/yell fest ended(something about his relationship with his dad, his struglles and why he doesn't want me to, and I can ask him things he thinks I don't know), but they finally let me make a damn decision for once in my life. I have the same furniture since I was born, besides the baby crib. Screamed at me when mom and I tried to make a decision to buy new furniture, albeit finda expensive. Ruining my hopes for college years ago by throwing raw numbers of costs in my face and pointing at the cheapest community college around here($11 a unit which has been substantially rasied in 3 years) by telling me its the same as a technical school just based on seperate subjects. I got a decent 1100 on my SAT's and they have hidden my transcripts/Senior year report cards from me. What's the point of having a brain, only to be a manual laborer forever, working next to those who aren't nearly intellectual equals and don't treat me as one either?!

I worked after an ultimatum of get kicked out or get a job when I was useless after High School. I saved 75% of my money made in two years, being able to live at home for cheap rent/free food at work/transportation 50-50 from family-my own paths.
Parents buying 2 new cars, 2 motorcycles since I left high school. College money? Yeah, could be.

Dad scared me after I was really complacent about my job after 1 year, "I don't need to drive you around to work and back all the time, you need to get your license by your next birthday or look to move out."

I didn't forget, and my birthday is near. So why the anger? My hell hole dead end job, live your own life.

Fine, I'm not normal/outstanding, I have problems and am missing major "rights of passage" in my life up until now, but damn yelling doesn't make it any easier/avoiding the questions-and problems/telling me the same stories of your life and showing me how much better you are and were at this this and that pertaining to things I do everyday, just to make me feel like less of a person.

Let me fail, let me learn the hard way. I have in the past right?

Dad suggested I spend some of my money- but not on anything stupid, maybe a vacation. But suggested to be a (bum)person who uses "hostiles" like when he goes on his motorcycle runs and "kids your age without much money for cars and college" use them and "have many reasons for traveling."

The pessimist in me only sees: end of the summer/nobody to meet up with/no place to go/why waste money on something to go and try to enjoy alone/too many hassles.

Boss' brother doesn't want me to quit, "hey go work at the other store with the guys we have who are responsible. Maybe that will work, I need someone to watch it for me. We'll switch with (guy who almost got fired) and you. I know if you have friends, its hard to get a job at this pay(but that isn't the problem for me, its not having a title/respect of seniority to have people listen to my instructions) so I don't want you to quit."

How do I say no when he stopped me from being fired twice? I can't form words and run all over the place when I try to talk.

I'm torn(& stressed).
Work/quit, school/work, school/life.

Family problems are always stressful and not always public business, but I need to vent. I'm sorta lost by nature, as are many teenagers I know. Talking about it helps, when you have an outlet.

*whew*
(I have more things, but, another time will suffice. Heh.)

[Shiva91]

*huggles*

[Dangerous55]

I'd look into joining the military.

[Stan]

Sorry I can't help you from here, but take care, you'll work it out.

[Pagit]

If you really do go want to go to college, you can get your transcripts and report cards from your old high school.

I'm sorry that your parents are so discouraging. Mine did that to me for years, too.

[InfinityXXX]

Just do what you plan on doing. One thing i just have to say is that it makes me mad when i hear parents(mines included) talking about what they did when there was your age. That just irks the hell out of me for they are not you and times have changed.

(Sorry for the short post but i'm really groggy today)



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: InfinityXXX on 2005-08-19 08:47 ]</font>

[ABDUR101]

You and I have a lot in common when it comes to work and not having met certain milestones that everyone else seems to take for granted.

Dropped out of highschool from stress and started working for a physical therapy company, and to be honest, thats all I've done with my life since then.

When I was in school, thats all there was, school and then coming home to be alone or with family.

Now it's coming home from work and being alone or with family.

No friends, no one to call and hang out with, no significant other, etc.

I've had my whits end multiple times over the last five years, tried to quit two or three times but got talked back into it and was moved to a different facility to get away from co-workers, but all work and no play is never a good thing. Quite often I think I'd like to move to a new area, that has more social aspects locally than where I am now. But thats just too much to go through to "maybe" have a better time.

All I can say is this, do what you feel you need to do as a person to feel right. If you want to go back to school, get what you need and try to head back to school. If you want to go on hiatus or a vacation, go for it. If you feel going to the other store with more responsible people will make a better difference, take it.

The people you work with, dictate how well the rest of your day is. If you have people causing trouble at work, it's going to bug you after you leave work if you're the one doing everything. It weighs on you over time, as you've no doubt noticed.

Who knows, maybe going to that other store will atleast make that big of a difference for you. But if it doesn't, try something else, whether thats going to school, or going elsewhere.

When it's all said and done, it's all trial and error, there is no single "way" to be content with yourself.

And don't live up to your father's expectations, live up to YOUR expectations. If you can goto sleep at night and feel at ease with how you live, thats all that matters.

My father does a lot of things that I won't do, because he was raised different and had harder times. We don't live in hard times anymore, there's always newer and better things to do, just like when we're their age, there will be far better things than what we have now. Thats the cycle, the key is to acknowledge that some things always change.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

On 2005-08-19 04:27, Dangerous55 wrote:
I'd look into joining the military.

I got something in the mail from West Point, one of if not, the best military school/training facility we have in the US.

It was after I excelled in school, then had some falling outs due to depression, PSO, other things.

I eventually went back to High School but didn't enjoy my last year and a half due to many conflicts with students who picked on me.

The military recruiters call every once in a while(I know about the shortage of troops, as do everyone else) and try to buddy up to me. Eventually once when a call got down to business, they asked if I had any diseases/physical conditions.

My mom overheard me talking about depression and told me to hang up. I did. she said it wasn't any of their business, but I think its might be that they won't take me since I have had depression/mental issues in the past.

My cousin from across the country lived over here a few months ago getting kicked out of his house for not finding another job after quitting his fast food job. He's a few years older and is way more lost than I, he tried to join the army but they declined him due to his medical condition, in which he has seizures every now and then.

I'm pretty damn sure the military doesn't need me, a short, skinny (formerly)depressed young adult. And I don't want to go out and die for causes I don't believe in. I'm not risking my life in the military and that's it, thank you for the suggestion, and I have already taken that life path into consideration.

-
-
Thank you for your words everyone.

Heh, yeah this is a tough one, one I'm not 100% sure of at the moment. Each way has their ups and downs, and of course the drama that follows. It isn't the end of the world, but definitely a start to my life.

I don't fit in at this job, and each day of more cuts/burns/extra effort/watching laziness go unpunished/things get broken/health code violations constantly reminds me of it.

I hope my parents are going to support me either way, like they damn well should. I've had much worse things happen to me between my parents and I, and some things happened because of my parents.

I've become complacent with a routine for my life, and breaking it causes uproar. I'll find my way. I have to.