FanFic: The Last Stand (please leave commits)

[DamonKatu]

It's after between the Arks and the Hunters. A new threat has appeared from the shadows and no one, except Kafie, knew that something wasn’t right. Kafie was on a romantic date with trinity, having a wonderful time. Then from out of nowhere, the androids attacked and left Kafie heavily wounded. but Trinity...didn't make it. Kafie is on the hunt for his rival, checkoff, who was the creator of the androids that was though to be dead. Patently, a abandoned lobby was the only place that Kafie haven’t been yet. Kafie knew in his heart that he was their.

*Kafie walks in the middle of an empty, abandoned dark lobby, checking every corner in the room. A black and red HUcast appears from a shadowy side of the room*

Kafie: Checkoff...
Checkoff: So Mr. katu, We meet again.
Kafie: I’m not surprised. Even though I did destroyed you during the civil war, I had a feeling that you would return. But how did you-
Checkoff: Yes, you did Mr. katu, and with great relief I bet since you know you avenge your woman. Am I right?
Kafie angry): You bustard! Trinity was everything to me...You even had feelings for her yourself.
Checkoff: HAD is past tense, my dear boy. To revive myself I had to get rid of the human part of me.
Kafie: You only killed yourself in the insides. You have no soul like I have. You are here to kill the others again like you carelessly did in the past-
Checkoff: no...I’m here because to free myself from you. To free myself from the purpose, I must kill you . But the very strange thing is...*an android appeared from the shadows! Its another checkoff!?!*
Checkoff 2: it was purpose that created us...*another one again*
Checkoff 3: purpose that defines us...*again*
Checkoff 4: purpose that connects us...*again*
checkoff 5: Purpose that bines us....*again*
Checkoff 6: Purpose that controls us...
*the room lights lit up, revealing that Kafie was surrounded by multiple numbers of android copies*
All checkoffs: That makes us live!!
Kafie: I understand how you survived now. You became a virus and spread yourself to other androids. You are a danger to your own kind!
Checkoff: Mr. katu, I’m only insuring that we all have the fruit of the earth. Its just you humans have been sucking the universe dry for too long that everything is falling apart.
Kafie: But you are targeting the innocent trying to complete your twisted goal. I can't lit that happen.
Checkoff: Heh. There's many ways to destroy these humans and taking what should have been ours, But first, we must take care of you!
(the androids started moving around him to throw his guard off. Then one by one in random order, they jumped at him. Kafie had his head up, catches one of them by the leg, and swung him around, hitting the other as they try to get him until the leg tore off the android's body. He then threw the leg into another jumping android as he jumps into the air and the android lands in the crowd. Kafie jumps on other androids' head, some of them dazed by the landing impact while others tries to dive on him. Kafie then lands in a clear spot and starts charging his energy.) Kafie: God's Hand!! (Kafie hands then glowed with furry. The androids charged after him but, one by one, they got punched down. One android managed to grabbed him from behind but as easy he was grabbed, Kafie threw him forward into the crowd of androids. Now they are getting desperate. They all start swinging around, Kafie being quick to dodge the blow and sends them flying with a round house kick. One of them tackled him to the ground, giving a bear hug. Kafie jumped up and slammed him on the ground, instantly disabling him. Kafie is began to wonder how he's going to make it since every time he kills one, they just keep coming. Kafie then noticed a abandoned black king bar on the top of the latter. Two androids try to tackle him at the same time but Kafie back flipped and they smashed each other. Kafie then picked up the BKB, twirling it around like a faros wheel at a carnival and sends a android into to the pit. they all paused and looked at Kafie with interested eyes.)

Kafie: Bring it, I’m still standing...





<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: DamonKatu on 2006-02-08 13:50 ]</font>

[Jehosaphaty]

i wont lie. i only read parts of it because the format in which you wrote doesnt lend itself well to my eyes. all i see is ginormous blocks of text, further discouraging me from reading anything you wrote.

[CupOfCoffee]

Hrm. I'm wary of saying this since I realize that English may not be your first language, but... it reads like it was written by someone whose first language wasn't English. The whole thing is riddled with word mistakes and awkward phrasing, not to mention the format. I'd at least give everything a quick once-over read to try and weed out a few of those typos before you post stuff.

[DamonKatu]

Like you know who, I have bad grammer problems. Ill try to add more space. Its hard for me to recall something but I can only visulize it but I wind up having a hard time to explane the situation. *and thats why Im not a good teacher XD*

[DamonKatu]

*back to the action*
*background fills with action music*

Checkoff 1: Charge!!
*the androids charge forward as they battle cry towards Kafie*

Kafie:Guest your hard drive went out before you soul, didn't it?

*Kafie jumps backward onto the higher grounds as the androids began to clime the stairs. They went by two huge rolls on each side of the platform. Kafie swung and whacked the androids down the stairs. Being quick as he could, he sent androids down one by one. Some of the androids sent down by Kafie smacked other androids down as well.*

Checkoff 2: Now!!

*they all jumped forward from the lower platform to the higher to surprise Kafie. He was surprised but ready for them. Kafie released the energy from his hands*

Kafie: GOD'S RATH!!

*Kafie sent every android in the air flying and destroys the androids around him with a explosion from both hands. The androids stepped back to recover*

Checkoff 3: Come on, Kafie, you know that you cant last forever. You wasting presses energy just tiring to win over me. Don’t you see? You have to destroy an entire race to stop me. You know that's imposable because you would wear out before that's possible.

Kafie: I don’t have to. I finally understand now... that to destroy you, I have to find the real you! You think I wouldn't know the difference between clowns that look like him? I remember his real voice. It was more human than that harsh voice.

*all the androids begin to look at one another, shocked that Kafie has finally discovered his true position. A wide screen monitor rolls down and the real Checkoff appears on it. He was in a experiment tube, where mini-mecks try to rebuild him*

Real Checkoff: So, you finally found the truth. You are wiser than I though you where. Lets play a little game of pac-kaf: If you can find the real me before my clones kill you, we will fight in our last battle. What are you waiting for? GET HIM, MY MENIONS!!

**To be contenued**