[SpikeOtacon]

...I realize that I haven't been on much, and that's with good reason...
A little backstory on this whole situation...
About a year ago...I was on an island for vacation during the summer...Ocean Isle Beach...just off the coast of North Carolina...While I was there, I met this wonderful girl named Katherine. Kat was a very amazing girl. 18 years old, her voice was very comforting...her black hair flowed gently in the wind...her blue eyes matched the sky on a clear day...you could almost see the sea in her eyes...She was from Florida, and came up here with her parents to a family reunion that was on the island. We met at the arcade, and after playing a LOT of House of the Dead 2 and Tekken with her (damn, she was REALLY good at those games...) we sat on the pier during sundown.....kat and I spent a whole night together on the pier....talking about or lives and things gone past...I bought her some ice cream, and one for myself....the breeze was cool, and made me feel so relaxed...when we parted that night, she kissed me on the cheek and told me to meet her the next morning at the hobby shop. That night, I slept great. The next morning, I went straight to the hobby shop, and there she was, waiting for me...a big smile on her face. She pulled me inside and we looked around. All sorts of stuff was in there. From shot-glasses, handcuffs (she DID buy a pair...), and some deadly weaponry (Razor edged playing cards, switchblades, and the like...). Her and I bought some firecrackers, and I bought a few shot glasses, while she bought the handcuffs. That night, we spent the night at the pier again...she sat in my arms as we felt the cool, calm breeze on our faces...she kissed me, and said that she never wanted to leave...I agreed....I had to go, however...The next morning, she was knocking on my front door. I ran downstairs, and she had tears in her eyes. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me that she had to go back with her parents. They had already packed, and she was saying goodbye. I held onto her for a bit, as she cried in my arms. My heart was broken...but I gave her my phone # and e-mail. I watched her and her parents drive off, and everything seemed dull again. The next 4 nights, I went to the pier with a beer in hand, and sat there....wishing that she was next to me. A half a year passes, and I get an e-mail from her, hearing that she was living on her own and told me how much she wanted to turn the car around and stay with me. She gave me her #, but when I called, it was disconnected. I e-mailed her my #, and she called back a month ago. I was so glad...we talked for hours on how things had gone since then. She told me that she was going to be in Maryland, and wanted to stop by and see me. So I gave her my adress, and next week I was supposed to see her.
...I got a call from her parents....they found my # deep in her closet at home....she had committed suicide last weekend. They found her dead, wrists and neck slit...**holds back tears**.....my name was written on the note...I'm going down to visit her grave this weekend. I've never felt so down before...her and I were....very close back then..I was hoping we'd get back together once I got out of this crappy job...She didn't even explain why she did it...I just...I don't know how I should feel about this...should I be sad that she is gone....or angry that she committed suicide in the first place?