[Wyndham]

It really sticks when youre almost 19 and youve never had a girlfriend close enough to actually be with, and the only girls nearby that I like enough to try to go out witrh already have a boyfriend, and almost every time, their boyfriends suspect them of cheating, and have her force me out of their lives.
I've been trying to distract my self, but no matter what i do, everything reminds me of how crappy things are.
I'm trying to get my mom to stop smoking, because i want her around as long as possible.
even my birthday planning depresses me. I only know two people that can come, and one is not sure.
I have also the problem that the only person nearby who actually likes to talk to me in walking distance is a baby who calls me "buddy".
I still am waiting for the okay to visit my cousin, one of my few friends, and my mom wont let me until i can remember my meds. the annoying part? one of my meds CAUSES memory loss.
My older brother stopped being a jerk to me, and that's great. but sadly, he stopped being a jerk RIGHT BEFORE he went off to college.

this sucks.