FanFic: Untitled (Chapter 6: The First of Many)

[McLaughlin]

This is my second attempt at a Fan Fiction. I didn't really like the direction the first one was going, so here's my second try. If you guys like it, I'll try to update it regularly. Comments and criticism are welcome and appreciated.

Chapter 1: The beginning


They kept running. They didn't know where they were headed, but they ran anyway. Anywhere was better than being with them.

"Are they still behind us Hannah?" One of the girls yelled as they rounded a corner.

"It doesn't matter now, Sam." Hannah said as she panted, trying to catch her breathe. Both of them stopped dead, stunned. Three men were blocking their route of escape, with a wicked look in their eyes that could only mean they were in league with their pursuers. The two men who had been chasing them finally caught up with the group, effectively boxing them in. Hannah heard several doors and windows slam shut. The public obviously didn't want to get involved. The largest man of the group stepped forward. He was a tad heavy for his height, he was in the process of going bald, and it looked like he hadn't shaved in months. After giving him the once-over, Hannah really began to worry about their situation.

"So fellas," The man began, "Which one do we want first?"

The men cackled and started to advance, and the women backed up into a wall on one side of the street. Despair set in and they began to shake and quiver. As the men kept laughing, drawing ever closer, the two started to cry. Sobbing, they fell to their knees. Hannah had just slumped down the wall, but Sam was doing her best to take up a defensive posture.

"Hey look guys," Another man jeered, "She's gonna fight us!"

"She won't have to." Replied a new voice.

"Who was that? None of them were talking. I would've seen their lips move." Sam thought to herself.

Suddenly, a loud "thump" sent reverberations through Sam's body, and she shut her eyes and prepared for the pain. After a few moments she opened her eyes and noticed something was obscuring her view of her attackers, and it took her a moment to realize it was some sort of mantle. The owner of said mantle turned to face her, unclipped his garment, and wrapped it around Sam and Hannah. She hadn't really noticed, likely thanks to her adrenaline, but it was 20 below zero. The ship's climate control was designed to mimic Ragol, so it must have been freezing on the surface. Being forced from their apartment, neither she or Hannah had had time to change. They'd been running for nearly an hour in their night gowns. Much longer, and they would catch Hypothermia. The man wore a light brown jacket, with matching pants and shoes, and a suit made of some kind of black synthetic material underneath it all, the outfit that usually defined a human Hunter. His hair was a sandy blonde colour, which was an uncommonly natural colour in an age where colours ranged anywhere between white and black. Hardly anyone kept their original hair colour. He also had the nerve enhancement bracer given to every Hunter of the Hunter's Guild. She wished desperately she had hers. Then she could have called for help. And as usual, he wore it on his...right arm? That meant he was left handed. She didn't know anyone in the Guild was a lefty. Hell, she didn't know anyone on the whole ship whose dominant hand was their left. There was nothing strange about his face...except his eyes. Those had to be the brightest, greenest eyes she'd ever seen. She pitied him though. There were five of them and only one of him. All he'd done was get himself killed.

"It's going to be alright now." He whispered. Then he turned to face the men, revealing the massive Zanba attached to his back.

"He's so calm." she thought to herself. Did he have backup hiding somewhere? That sword was pretty big...but wouldn't that hinder him? Either way, he couldn't possibly be thinking of taking them all...could he?

"Now, I can't think of many reasons why five men would be chasing after two distraught women clad in only their night gowns this late at night, but I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. You've...escorted them here, and now I'll take care of the rest. Thank you, kind gentlemen."

"You're not goin' anywhere smart ass!" The large man shouted, "It was a real pain chasin' these ladies down and we plan to enjoy the fruits of our labour."

The young man looked over his shoulder and tried to say something to Sam, but a photon bullet hit the blade of his Zanba. He whispered "Nevermind." before turning to face the group once more. He took hold of his weapon and, after a quiet "click" signified it was no longer attached to his back, he thrust it into the ground.

"Look! He's surrendering!" Cheered one of them.

"Hardly. I can't swing it around in a cramped space like this." Replied the young man, just as calmly as before.

"Why you! I'll kill you!" He screamed, taking off towards the mysterious defender.

He threw punch after punch, high and low, hooks and jabs, and although Sam couldn't actually catch him in the process, her savior was indeed blocking every one of them. By this time, Hannah had pulled herself together, and was watching in awe as the kind man fought for their freedom.

"H-h-he's f-f-f-fast. I c-c-can't e-even s-s-s-s-see h-him m-m-moving." Hannah stuttered. It was obvious she was feeling the cold now. Sam couldn't hide the effect the weather was having on her either. She was shaking like a leaf.

"Oh, I forgot."

The young man extended his right arm while continuing to block with his left, pointed at the two girls, and snapped his fingers. Three bright red balls flew from the air directly above where he snapped and began circling around Sam and Hannah, and warmed them up considerably.

"A Hunter casting Gifoie is impressive in itself," Hannah thought. As a Force, she had mastered the technique some time ago, "But he did it without the incantation, and he produced three fireballs, not the single one you'd expect from a Hunter. It also hasn't dissipated yet, and I didn't even know casting it on another person was possible. It's maintaining its strength and it isn't on an outward loop. It's staying close to us. It's amazing!"

The young man turned his attention back to the first man, who continued his barrage of punches. After a moment, and looking very frustrated, he jumped back and a hilt appeared in his hand.

"Block this!" He shouted, and a flick of the wrist activated the photon blade of the Gladius.

It all happened in slow motion. The man with the weapon lunged forward, but the young man ducked under the swing. He then swept the outstretched arm to his left and, using the leftward momentum to his advantage, he followed through with his right, putting his weight into the punch and hitting the man in the side of the head, sending him flying head over heels nearly ten feet before he hit the ground and slid another five. He crumpled against a wall, and stayed down.

"Now you've done it! Get 'em guys!"

Standing beside his weapon, the young man and the two women behind him watched as the remaining four assailants revealed various weapons. Two of them had Gladiuses, one had a Gungir, and the large man wielded a Calibur. An impressive arsenal for a bunch of rogues. They all surged forward, hellbent on killing him.

"He's screwed." Hannah mumbled.

"If he's screwed, we're doomed." Sam replied.

All four of them reached the young man at the same time, and they swung simultaneously. Neither of them saw him do it, but their attack stopped halfway, blocked by a Sword. The young man stood rigid, holding off the assault with his left hand on the hilt of his weapon. Hannah and Sam heard something coming from the end of the alley. Was it...cheering? They looked over to find that quite a crowd had gathered at the entrance to the alley, captivated by the battle. Some of the women even had their children with them.

"Is this amusing to them?" Sam asked, looking disgusted.

"Where were they when we needed them?" Hannah asked, looking equally appalled.

The young man paid the spectators no mind, and raised his right hand. Suddenly, ice began to shoot from his hand, and not the typical shards of ice one would expect from a Gibarta, which Hannah recognized as the spell the young man had cast. The ice coated the thugs and left them frozen solid. He withdrew his weapon and lowered his arms, and turned to face the women he'd just saved.

"I've never seen a Gibarta like that. The ice looked like snow more than anything else, and it takes a tremendous amount of skill to freeze something with it. I myself can only keep things frozen for a few seconds. They look like they'll be stuck until someone defrosts them. Just...who is this guy?"

"Are either of you hurt?" He asked. His voice was softer than before. Sam had been worried he too was after them, but now she felt safe.

"I don't think so. Thank you for saving us." Sam replied.

"I'll give you my Guild Card number. If you ever need anything," He said, typing quickly on the bracer on his right forearm, "Don't hesitate to call. Now, allow me to escort you both home."

With that, he helped them both to their feet, and led them through the crowd, which parted to let them pass. As they walked, Hannah heard a child ask, "Who was that guy mommy? He looks strong."

"That man," Hannah started, kneeling down to look the kid in the eyes, "Is a Hero."

EDIT: Forgot the italics tags.

EDIT 2: Changed temperature. Thanks to CupfCoffee for the suggestion (the rest will be implemented next chapter).

EDIT 3: Unchanged temperature >_> I forgot to mention I use metric, so it's -20 degrees celcius. -20 Fahrenheit would be like instant frostbite O_O

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Obsidian_Knight on 2007-06-19 21:03 ]</font>

[Banish]

Good Story!
Is the guy a "Hero of Ragol"?

[McLaughlin]

I suppose you could call him that. It becomes clear who he is as the story progresses.

Thank you for the compliment!

[Banish]

Your welocme! http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

Please continue.

[CupOfCoffee]

Good! Way good. I'd even go so far as to say great, haha. That was a very engaging read, especially for a first chapter, and especially coming from someone who claims it's only their second ever attempt at fiction. This earns a solid A, my friend.

Also, since you asked for criticism, there are maybe one or two things I suppose I could point out. There were actually only four small errors that caught my eye.


She hadn't noticed, likely thanks to her adrenaline, but it was 20 below zero. The ship's climate control was designed to mimic Ragol, so it must have been freezing on the surface. Being forced from their apartment, neither she or Hannah had had time to change. They'd been running for nearly an hour in their night gowns.

If you've never actually been in -20 temperatures, let me tell you: it's COLD. Like, rip your face off cold. Run outside in -20 in a night gown for an hour, and you're gonna know. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif Might want to remove that "She hadn't noticed" line, or change the temperature to something a little more realistic. The vast majority of people don't have the endurance to run for an hour, much less in a temperature as blisteringly cold as that. You'd probably be risking serious, permanent bodily harm if you tried night gowning it up in -20 for an hour.


"He's so calm." she thought to herself.

I see you've got the thoughts italicized, and that's correct. But normally, the quotes aren't also needed. Additionally, there were a few places in the chapter where a line of dialogue was modified by a follow-up sentence, like we see here. When that happens, you should use a comma instead of a period after the person's line.


Standing beside his weapon, the young man and the two women behind him watch as the remaining four assailants revealed various weapons. Two of them had Gladiuses, one had a Gungir, and the large man wielded a Calibur.

This was the last problem I saw. Even though this site is called PSO-World and this is most definitely PSO fanfiction, it's still always better to show rather than to tell. Some people may not know what a gladius or a calibur is, and wouldn't be able to tell from this passage alone. Again, not a huge deal, especially in this context, but... ah, you know what I mean. Somethin' to think about, and maybe a habit to break since most people who start out writing fan fiction often move up to the logical next step of creating their own original stories/worlds, where "showing, not telling" really counts.

And... there were a few passages that really caught my eye as outstanding.


The young man looked over his shoulder and tried to say something to Sam, but a photon bullet hit the blade of his Zanba. He whispered "Nevermind." before turning to face the group once more. He took hold of his weapon and, after a quiet "click" signified it was no longer attached to his back, he thrust it into the ground.

I really liked this one especially. It feels very lifelike and you can truly picture (and hear, and feel) what's going on. It's exceptionally good descriptive writing, which many people struggle for years with and never fully conquer. Great work.


"Now, I can't think of many reasons why five men would be chasing after two distraught women clad in only their night gowns this late at night, but I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. You've...escorted them here, and now I'll take care of the rest. Thank you, kind gentlemen."

Another part I loved. Even though we don't know who this guy is or even so much as his name, his personality really shines through here. It's obvious he's not a one-dimensional hardass with a heart of gold type, or a even an eager, bright-eyed-and-bushy-tailed young hero looking for action. He seems to have a quirky sense of humor. Another gold star.


All in all, like I said, this is great. I really hope you post the rest of it, and if you do, I'll definitely be reading(!)

[McLaughlin]

Thanks for the criticism!

I live in Canada, and it gets to -20 fairly often, but yeah, I'll change that around. And I'll make sure to describe the armaments a bit more in the next chapter.

I'm glad you liked it!

EDIT: This winter has sucked though, and it's been so warm I kinda forgot what the cold actually felt like.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Obsidian_Knight on 2007-01-19 17:09 ]</font>

[Freeze]

Because your talking Celsius and not Fahrenheit your temperature is fairly acurate for your characters activity. One thing I've learn with my fiction is to include the imperial measurements if your going to use the metric. I wouldn't change the temperature if I were you. Just put Fahrenheit in brackets maybe.

[McLaughlin]

On 2007-01-19 17:19, Freeze wrote:
Because your talking Celsius and not Fahrenheit your temperature is fairly acurate for your characters activity. One thing I've learn with my fiction is to include the imperial measurements if your going to use the metric. I wouldn't change the temperature if I were you. Just put Fahrenheit in brackets maybe.



Yeah, I forgot to mention that.

Thanks for reading it!

[McLaughlin]

The next chapter should be up by Monday or Tuesday (at the latest).

If anyone else has anything they'd like to say, please do!

[HUnewearl_Meira]

Stickied.

[McLaughlin]

Here's Chapter 2. Again, comments and criticism are welcome and appreciated! It's not as exciting as the first, but I promise things'll pick up. And thanks for the Sticky Meira!

Chapter 2 - Paper cut

Last night's events still fresh in her mind, Sam dragged herself out of bed and changed out of her nightgown and into her Hunter's uniform. Her nightgown was so much more comfortable than her uniform, which consisted of a long skirt of a light purple colour, a long sleeved shirt of the same colour (she liked the shirt but hated long sleeves, so they were always rolled up to her elbows) and white running shoes. Being one of only a select few female humans in the Hunter class, she was free to dress as she pleased. Due to a lack of female humans, particularly in the Hunter class, there were no regulated uniforms. She let her bleach blonde hair do what it wanted, as long as it stayed out of her eyes, and didn't look ridiculous.

She vastly preferred her nightgown, in large part because it was brand new. The man that had saved her and her companion, Hannah, noticed their clothing was torn and dirty, and paid for a gown of their choice for each of them. She had never learned his name. She thought about Simple Mailing him to ask, but figured if he wanted to tell them, he would.

Hannah slept like a log, and Sam nearly had to shove her off the bed to wake her. After she woke up, Hannah threw on her yellow Force robes and bound her light brown hair into a pony tail.

- - - - - - - - - -

"What are we going to take first?" Hannah asked. She was standing at one of the Guild terminals staring at a holopad. There were at least a dozen quests available.

"I'm not sure," Sam replied, walking over to Hannah and staring over her shoulder at the screen, "Pull up the Hunter Standings for a sec, I wanna see if we're still in first place."

Every Hunter in the guild was assigned a rank, based on their performance in the quests they undertook, and the difficulty of the quest. There were rewards for being in First, Second, and Third place, like meseta bonuses, weapon prototypes, and various other things. Sam and Hannah had been in First and Second respectively for nearly as long as Principal Tyrell had been sponsoring the competition. It was supposed to push Hunters to better themselves, but all it had done was divide the Guild into factions, several of which were hostile towards Hunters ranking higher than them.

One Hunter had been at the top of the list since it had been announced. The legendary Hunter. The one who defeated Dark Falz. He had three times the points of the next highest ranking Hunter, and though he specifically told Tyrell he didn't want to be a part of the Rankings, they threw him up there anyway. He refused every reward they sent him, so eventually the Guild just started rewarding the Second, Third and Fourth place Hunters. Sam had heard dozens of stories about the man that saved the ship. How he had slain Dragons and scrapped giant robots, and fought against Darkness itself. He was mythical to to the rest of the Guild, but no one even knew his name. The list also showed who was active and inactive, and where they were on duty. The list read:

"Rank:1
Guild Card Number: 10001219
Name: _____________
Active: Yes
Area: Gal De Val

Rank: 2
Guild Card Number: 10003230
Name: Samantha Stevens
Active: No

Rank: 3
Guild Card Number: 10001200
Name: Hannah McLaughlin
Active: No"

"Woohoo!" Shouted Hannah, "I wonder what they'll send us this time..."

"I'm not sure," Started Sam. She began tapping on the holographic image and pulled up the list of Quests again, "But let's take 'Black Paper'. Maybe we'll find out something about those men who attacked us."

"Or maybe the one who saved us," Hannah teased. Sam blushed and turned towards the Guild receptionist and signed them both up for the Quest.

- - - - - - - - - -

"The Quest was requested via the BEE system," The receptionist stated, "The information has already been uploaded to both of you."

My name is Kroe Waynes, The message began, I'm in urgent need of help. The man suspected to be involved in the recent disappearances of several Hunters, and the seduction of my sister, Anna, is in an underground cave. I'm impersonating my sister, but he's almost done his business transaction. I fear this will be our only chance to apprehend the individual. His name is Black Paper, the head of the most dangerous Blackmartket Arms trading ring. Please hurry!

Sincerely,
Kroe Waynes.

"She sounds desperate," Noted Hannah.

"Yeah. And imagine what we'd get for taking down a gang like that!" Replied Sam. Both girls bolted towards the teleporter.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Shhh!"

"Huh?" Hannah grunted, started by her partner's sudden stop. She was then promptly dragged behind a large outcropping.

"Look, over there."

Peeking out from behind their cover, both girls listened hard. A Ranger, a male Newman Force, and a female Newman Hunter were all gathered in the center of a room with waterfalls cascading down from every corner of the room. Then, the Ranger gestured towards Sam and Hannah, and both of them froze. Then, the group strode through a door on the other end of the room, and everything was quiet.

"Did you hear anything they said?" Asked Hannah.

"Not a word. Let's follow them."

One level down, they came through a door, only to spot the mysterious group of three again. They dove behind the nearest rock, and again tried to hear anything from the conversation. The group disappeared through a door, and once again, neither had heard a thing. It was a strange Y shaped room, and Sam noticed two switches on either side of the room. There was also a laser fence and the corresponding switch between the two exits. Sam went to step on the one to the left.

"Wait!" Hannah screamed.

"Huh?"

"There's a switch behind the laser fence too. Those ones are probably booby trapped."

"How very clever of you," Sam jeered.

They pressed the switch, and then stood back and picked a direction. The west door unlocked when Hannah pressed the correct switch, and the east door had been open from the get-go. They figured that since the eastern door had been locked, and someone had set trick switches, that east was the correct way to go. They continued along, and at the next fork they decided to go east, since they'd gone west last time. Their guess turned out to be wrong, so they backtracked and went west again. That too, was the wrong way, so they travelled back to the first fork and went east.

"What a colossal waste of time that waste," Hannah moaned. They killed a number of creatures trekking in the wrong direction, and right then she wished for nothing more than a hot bath. Sam nodded, and activated another door. They came to a small circular room, and found the threesome yet again. This time, they chose to confront them. The group ran through another door and attempted to seal it, but Hannah blew the door to pieces with a rather large Rafoie; certainly with more force than the task required.

"I'm sick of this place!" She shouted, catching the look on Sam's face.

They ran into the next room to find the Ranger and the Force unconscious.

"Thank you for coming. My name is Kroe Waynes. I wasn't sure you'd come, but I'm glad you did. I would've never had an opening had you not intruded when you did."

"So, are these the guys you were looking for?" Sam was curious about Black Paper, and his organization. If they hadn't brought it down in one fell swoop, its members were likely to retaliate.

"Unfortunately, Black Paper sent an impostor," Kroe sighed, kicking the Force in the process, "I haven't a clue where he is."

"Well, at least you got your sister back," Hannah remarked, trying to cheer the disheartened Kroe up.

"Yeah, I guess that's true. Thanks, to both of you. Let's get back to the Guild so you can collect your rewards."

Kroe threw down a minuscule green capsule no larger than a thumb nail, which popped open upon impact and released a bright red light. After a few moments, the light stabilized and formed a long, tube-shaped beam of light, and the telepipe was ready to go. They all stepped in, and were swept away behind a veil of red light.

Edit: Already found a few typos. If anyone else notices any, please point them out so I can fix them.

Edit 2: Forgot to italicize some stuff.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Obsidian_Knight on 2007-01-25 18:29 ]</font>

[McLaughlin]

Well, here's Chapter 3. I hope everyone's enjoying it! Comment on it! ...Please? http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif


Chapter 3 - Pipe dream


It was total chaos.

The telepipe junction adjacent to the Shopping District was in a state of total anarchy. Everywhere they looked there were Gillchics. Immediately the three attempted to withdraw their weapons, but do no avail. The capsules refused to open.

"Dammit!" Kroe bellowed, "The transmitters must still be activated!"

The transmitters she spoke of were the ones installed on the ship to keep people from utilizing their weapons onboard the ship. Similar transmitters were also installed to negate Techniques, except for Resta and Reverser, which were used frequently in the Medical Bay.

"Well," Sam shouted while punching a Gillchic square in the noggin, "That's just FAN-tastic."

Many of the Hunters seemed to express the same frustration Sam did, and after failing to attain a weapon, they fell back on their hand-to-hand combat training. The Forces retreated to the back lines and began a constant, unified stream of Resta. It wasn't enough to negate all the damage from the mob of machines, but it was enough to keep the bleeding to a minimum. Gillchics were savagely efficient at close range. Sam was in the middle of beating a particularly unfortunate Gillchic into scrap metal when an announcement thundered through the ship.

"ATTENTION ALL HUNTERS!" The voice boomed, "WEAPONS TRANSMITTERS ARE OFFLINE! TECHNIQUES WILL BE AVAILABLE SHORTLY!"

All at once, every Hunter involved in combat equipped their weapons, and the entire sector was aglow with the light of the photon weaponry. Sam retrieved her Twin Brand from its capsule and set to work.

"Let's try to find the source!" Hannah shouted, "I'll provide support!"

They took off through the mob. Sam cut down anything that moved, and Hannah healed when necessary. They could see bullets flying every which way, hitting friend and foe alike. They continued through wave after wave of enemies until they saw a telepipe at least five times the size of a normal one. It had to be the source of the monsters. Suddenly the voice came back on.

"ALL TECHNIQUE TRANSMITTERS ARE OFFLINE! I REPEAT, ALL TRANSMITTERS ARE NOW OFFLINE!"

All at once explosions shook the ship as dozens of Rafoies tore through the enemy ranks. Sam had just finished cutting one such foe into several pieces when 6 more advanced. Hannah swept her arm across the line and seconds later a yellow bolt traced its way through all of them, shorting their circuitry and forcing them to self destruct. They neared the massive telepipe and stopped.

"He's here?" Sam muttered.

"But, all the crossfire...Don't they realize?" Hannah added.

"As soon as that fucked up telepipe opened, he told us to run. Do you know him?" A new voice shouted.

"Kind of," Sam yelled back. She spun around to see a FOmar clad in typical FOmar attire; A black robe with red trim, and white hair bound by a headband.

"I see. The dude's incredible. He held off the whole damn army for at least ten minutes while the Guild raised any available Hunters. The first one out got away from him though. Looked like an android, but it was purple."

"How? All weapons and Techniques were unavailable until a few moments ago.," Sam asked as she impaled a Gillchic on each end of her Twin Brand. She then swung the double bladed weapon in a circle above her head, sending the robots flying into the crowd where they detonated and took out several more. The bright blue blades hummed and whirred as she continued her work. Then she realized something. How could those thugs have used weapons on him if the transmitters were active? His weapon was always strapped to his back, but theirs... She'd have to worry about that later.

"Well, he has that massive weapon strapped to his back, but he never used it. He beat the shit out of them with his bare hands. He knocked one clear across the sector. It was sweet!" The FOmar shouted as he he spun his arms around his body. Shortly thereafter a lightning bolt spiralled out from his body, shorting out at least another ten Gillchics.

Just then, a photon bullet whizzed past Sam's ear. She watched as it struck the man on his shoulder, but he never faltered. His onslaught continued unhindered, and it was only then she noticed how many he was holding at bay. Had he been elsewhere, there never would've even been a fight. He rammed his right fist hard into the chest plate of a nearby Gillchic, denting the plate and sent the thing sailing until it hit several more and the whole heap exploded. Almost simultaneously he spun around and sent his left elbow right through the head of another, and it fell limply to the ground. Then he grabbed onto his his weapon, and after the familiar "click" signified it was ready for use he raised it above his head in his left hand and screamed "Get down!!"

He whipped it around his head once, before bringing it down while continuing the spinning. Hundreds of lightning bolts shot forth from the weapon as Hunters dove for cover, or dropped to the ground and covered their heads. The entire mob froze for a split second, before dropping dead in a unified "clunk". Then the young man rested the sword on his back and, after another "click" notified him it was secure, he stepped through the gigantic blue telepipe. Moments later he reappeared and as he stepped away the giant blue pipe collapsed on itself and disappeared. He then began to walk towards the main teleporter.

"Hello again," He said as he walked by Sam and Hannah, smiling warmly at them both. Both girls were too stunned to speak, and instead simply nodded in acknowledgment. He continued on and entered the teleporter's ring of light, where he was swept away, vanishing after saving their lives yet again.

The custodial staff looked rather displeased, so they bolted towards the Guild, where several Hunters were quite giddy.

"I swear, I overtook him! I wiped out at least a hundred of those things!" Shouted one man.

"No way, I'll be in First place now!" Contested another.

Sam walked over to a Guild terminal and pulled up the list. She was now tied with Hannah for first place. Well, technically second place, as a Hunter two terminals over so kindly pointed out.

"Holy crow! He justed gained 6730 points! And he's still on that Island!" The Hunter yelled. One man nearly fell out of the chair he was in while another spat his drink all over the man in front of him.

"But you only gain 10 points for each monster defeated," Another man stated, "Hell, the next best total was Sam's, and she only got 580 points."

The murmuring started up again, and everyone began whispering about the Legendary Hunter, and how he might have attained so many points. Sam and Hannah walked outside the Guild and sat on a nearby bench.

"Nice Gizonde back there, " Sam said, looking over at her friend.

"Nice twirly thingy back there," Hannah replied, doing the same.

"I'm sorry to bother you both, but would you happen to know where I could find Samantha Stevens and Hannah McLaughlin?"

Both girls spun around to see short FOnewm with a small green hat, and the usual but still crazy FOnewm attire in green with yellow and black trim.

"That's us. Who wants to know?" Hannah replied.

"My name is Hopkins, and my father would like to see you."

EDIT: Typos >_< I suck at proof-reading.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Obsidian_Knight on 2007-01-25 18:44 ]</font>

[CupOfCoffee]

Haha, I love it! The yet-unnamed "legendary hunter" is such an amusing character. The strong, heroic champion with a big sword has been totally done to death, but for some reason, it feels so fresh in this story. You're good, man. Keep it up, keep it up. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[McLaughlin]

Thank you!

As a side note: I had to write in present tense for an English assignment, so if anyone sees me relapse please tell me so I can fix it.

[McLaughlin]

Sorry guys, I was really busy this weekend. I'll try to have the next chapter up soon.

[Destruct05]

nice story so far! keep it up!

[Freeze]

I finally got to read chapters 2 & 3. This very good. I'm looking forward to more

[McLaughlin]

Thank you! I hope I can get the next chapter up by tomorrow.

[McLaughlin]

Well, here's Chapter 4, hope you like it. I have a busy week this week, so the next chapter probably won't be up until Saturday or Sunday. Anyway, here it is! (Let me know of any typos/italicizations I missed. Comments and Criticism welcome, as always.)



Chapter 4 - Hunters hunted


"Why?"

"Come with me and you'll find out," Hopkins replied, turning to leave.

"Whoa, wait up!" Sam shouted.

She and Hannah followed Hopkins through a series of backstreets and alleyways, and at one point they were forced to shut their eyes before they were allowed to continue. After what felt like hours they were finally allowed to open their eyes to see a rather hefty Newman standing on a platform in front of them. The room itself was small in comparison to the Guild lobby, especially with the stage taking up a third of it, which served no real purpose other than make up for the man's short stature.

"I noticed you girls were at the top of the Guild list, and were also investigating the organization Black Paper. I have a proposition for you."

"Now, wait just a minute. who the hell are you?" Sam demanded. The man laughed a hearty laugh before continuing to speak.

"How rude of me. My name is Pagnani. I'm a researcher. I trade things to Hunters in exchange for their information."

"What do you want with us then? We never found anything out about Black Paper. We only busted a couple of its underlings," Hannah said. She was game for earning stuff, but not when she had nothing to give back.

"Well, I'd like you to join us," Pagnani replied casually.

"...Us?" Sam inquired. She hadn't liked the way that sounded, and the hamster in her head went into high gear.

"Us. Black Paper. We could use strong, resourceful members like you. Where do you think I get the stuff I trade to Hunters?" Pagnani answered, just as casually as before.

"I'm sorry sir, but I think you've got the wrong people for this." Sam began. Pagnani cut her off with a solemn nod before she could talk her way out of the building.

"I was afraid of this. I suppose Kireek will be pleased thou-"

"I thought he'd been scrapped after his attempt on Ash's life," Hannah interjected. She and Sam both knew Ash and Kireek personally. Ash had been searching for a research team in the Ancient Ruins beneath Ragol when Kireek attacked him. Had it not been for the Legendary Hunter, he'd sure be dead. Both she and Sam met Kireek when they took a quest from the Guild to find a man's nephew. Ash, ironicly, was the missing boy. He had since bettered himself. He was a fine Hunter now.

"Well, we have some members in very high places, but that's irrelevant now. The problem with showing your hand," Pagnani began, beckoning for Hopkins, "Is that sometimes, it backfires. Hopkins, Gal De Val."

Hopkins stepped up beside Pagnani and snapped his fingers. Instantly everything went dark, and both Sam and Hannah felt like they were falling. Where had Pagnani escaped to? Suddenly, everything came back. Trees, dirt, birds. Sam remembered something Pagnani said. Gal...De Val? All at once, it hit her. He hadn't escaped, they'd been banished. They must've been standing on a hidden teleporter. Then Sam remembered something else. Kireek? Why would he be happy? Then it clicked.

"Hannah, RUN!"

A purple figure vaulted through the brush to their right and barrelled through a tree. Sam stuck out her left leg and tripped the android, sending him sailing clear out of view. They both bolted in the direction Kireek had come from.

"Where the hell are we!?" Hannah screamed., leaping over a large tree root.

"I think we're on Gal De Val island," Sam shouted in return. She looked back and saw birds leaving their perches, startled by something, or someone.

"Then we're dead. Tyrell prohibited any and all transportation to Ragol after that massive telepipe appeared."

"But the Legendary Hunter was still active when we left to see Pagnani, and he was active on this island. He's our only hope," Sam countered.

"Where the hell are we going to find him?"

"Head towards that big building over there," Sam pointed, directing Hannah's gaze to a large tower a few kilometers away, "It's as good a start as any."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Kireek was relentless in his pursuit. He had a kind of determination Hannah had never seen before. Every time they lost him, he'd come right back. Making matters worse were the strange Sinow units that seemed to be guarding the tower. They were difficult to spot because of an augmentation that allowed them to camouflage themselves, and they had a very limited ability to cast techniques. Two abilities that were absent from every other Sinow she'd seen. They quickly realized, once inside the tower, that the portion protruding from the ground was misleading. Two thirds of the structure was underground, deep beneath the ocean. Kireek provided no chance to take in their surroundings though, and they continued to flee. Finally coming to a stop in a large room with one wall made entirely of glass, which gave a beautiful view of the ocean-life. Both exhausted, they stood shakily beside a locked door on the far end of the room. Sam hefted her Twin Blade, while Hannah withdrew her Windmill and began spinning the blades.

It felt like ages, but finally, Kireek strolled through the door. If he could've grinned, it would've no doubt chilled her to the bone.

"He's hungry," Kireek hissed. He opened his hand and a long, sinister looking scythe materialized in his grasp. He then took off towards the girls, who braced themselves for the inevitable. He held his scythe out to his left, aiming to cleve them both in a single blow. Hannah jammed her Windmill into the ground in a feeble attempt to stop the attack. She closed her eyes and felt something hit her, but it didn't hurt.

I must be in shock, she told herself. Hannah opened her eyes half expecting to be a few feet closer to the ground, but noticed she was not only still her full height, but her Windmill shaft seemed at least four times thicker than before. It took a moment before it registered with her that there was something in front of her weapon. A Sword. She looked over to see Sam with a dumbfounded expression on her face, and that was when she finally noticed the man standing in front of her. His Zanba dug into the ground, the young man from before had his right hand on the other end of the shaft of Kireek's scythe. Another android, with a bulkier torso and more armor plating but almost as lean as Kireek, had grabbed hold of Kireek's arm, halting the attack. The black colour scheme of the RAcast was a stark contrast to Kireek's dark purple paint job.

"Now, I seem to remember telling you to call me if you ever needed help," The young man teased. He nodded to the android, who then launched Kireek by his arm to the other end of the room, where Kireek landed on his feet. It then stood next to the man.

"This is M-AC unit 0-19, or as I call him, Mac. We would've been here sooner but Kireek set a guard outside the tower," The man explained, "Some kind of beast with wings."

"You...Master wants you firssst," Kireek hissed again, pointing his scythe towards the young man.

"I'll stall him until you get the girls to the door," He whispered to Mac, who nodded and looked over at the women behind him. They both nodded their heads in acknowledgment and began slowly moving to the left-hand wall. Kireek was well aware of their escape plan and bolted towards Sam.

"Hey hey, come on now."

The young man had reappeared in the center of the room, holding Kireek at bay with his Zanba. He waved the two girls forward. Mac hesitated but the man silently reassured his comrade, and they continued along the wall. Once they reached the door, the young man Shoved Kireek back and headed towards the door. Kireek stepped forward to block his passage.

"You have impressive speed and strength for a human. He will enjoy devouring you."

"Well, I do what I can. Now, if you wouldn't mind taking a step to your left-"

The young man was cut short as Kireek threw his scythe forward. He side-stepped to the left of the thrust and pulled his arm back for a punch but the android had already recovered his composure and swept his weapon from right to left. The young man dove over the swing and landed a few feet back from where he started.

"I really don't have time for-"

"SILENCE!" Kireek interrupted, "He WILL have your soul!" His voice seemed to echo itself, and it was deeper...darker.

To Sam, it felt like every time she watched this man fight, the whole thing happened in fast forward. But suddenly, someone pressed play, and everything happened in slow motion, just like before. Kireek struck out again, but the man knocked the scythe upwards with his Zanba and hit him square in the chest with his right hand balled into a fist. Kireek staggered, but recovered and thrust his blade forward again. This time, the young man knocked it onto the floor, stepped on the blade, and ran along the shaft. He then jumped the last two feet of the shaft and planted his left foot on the back of Kireek's head. Pushing off, he did a front flip and landed in a sprint, while Kireek became acquainted with the floor. He waved the others forward and froze the door with his strange Gibarta on the way out. They ran until they got out of the tower. The machines that had attacked Sam and Hannah on their way in fell before they could even see them, exploding into pieces or just simply falling limply to the ground. Once a safe distance away the group hid amongst a throng of large bushes.

"How the hell did you get down here!?" Sam demanded.

"What do you mean?"

"The whole ship is on lock down! The only person who was allowed passage to the surface was the legendary hunter."

"Well, then there's only one explanation," The man replied slyly.




<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Obsidian_Knight on 2007-02-07 20:09 ]</font>

[CupOfCoffee]

Awesomeness. I know I keep saying this, but I really like the Legendary Hunter's personality. He's perfectly lighthearted and a welcome departure from the typical moody antihero we see all too often around these parts. I'm looking forward to Chapter 5!

[McLaughlin]

Well, lots of views, but not so many comments. Come people, don't be shy!

The next chapter should be up either tomorrow or Saturday. Thank you all for reading and I hope you continue to do so. Don't be afraid to post!

[McLaughlin]

Just posting to say the next chapter should be up by tomorrow. I've been swamped with homework lately (in part due to my procrastination of it) and a close friend of the family died earlier this week, so I've been busy helping them out.

Stay tuned, and thanks for reading!

[McLaughlin]

A snow day has finally let me finish this chapter! Huzzah! Sorry for making you all wait for it. I hope it lives up to your expectations.


Chapter 5 - A Hero Revealed


"I must've hitched a ride with the legendary hunter," He said. His eyes suddenly focused on the bush to his right, and he turned his head in that direction. Something had his attention.

"My name is Tylor McCaffrey. Guild Card Number 10001219, Section ID Yellowboze. I have been designated as a Rank S Hunter, HUmar class," He spoke quickly, "Principal Tyrell sent me down here officially to investigate the disappearance of Commander Heathcliff Flowen. Unofficially, I was sent here to be executed. I suppose I'm the legendary hunter you speak of, though such a title is unfitting. I am simply a member of the Hunter's Guild."

Sam was stunned. She was standing two feet away from the legendary hunter. All the stories she'd heard, all the records. She believed it all. Hannah was equally shocked and looked as if she was going to faint. The man continued.

"Kireek is on his way. You both need to follow Mac to safety while I deal with him."

"No," Sam replied.

"Well, it was worth a shot," He shrugged, "Whatever happens, stay behind Mac."

"What? Where are we going?" Hannah demanded. She was tired and frustrated, and the last thing she needed was to be dragged around a forbidden island fleeing from a homicidal robot.

"Back to Pioneer 2," He stated, "I have something I need to ask the Principal."

He nodded to Mac, who hefted two machine guns, both of which looked ancient to Sam. She couldn't tell where the photon generator was located, or how it fired a photon bullet from such a small barrel.

"Yasminkov 9000Ms," The android remarked, taking notice of her curious stare, "They fire 22 calibur armor penetrating rounds at 320 feet per second to a maximum penetrating range of 600 meters. Each magazine holds 450 bullets, and fires 23 bullets per second."

So they are ancient, She thought. Yasminkov model weapons had been phased out nearly fifty years ago, when the military began mass production of photon capacitors for guns, and the stronger generators for bladed weapons. Tylor's Zanba was a rare weapon indeed, now that she thought about it. She'd only ever even heard of one other Hunter that owned such a weapon, but he had died several months ago. One advantage Mac's Mechguns had over more modern iterations was its range. It's bullets were lethal from the same distance as a photon rifle. She found it odd that an android would opt for such a nostalgic weapon, but chose not to press the issue.

"Here he comes," The man warned, "Stay behind Mac. If my hunch is correct once we're on the ship you'll be safe from him."

"We'll be safe? What about you?"

"I was never in any danger to begin with," The Hunter grinned.

He was so serious a second ago, but now he's confident and clever just like before, Hannah observed.

Kireek plowed through the bush and straight into the Hunter's punch, which nailed him in the face and sent his legs up over his head, sending him into an awkward looking spin. The punch dented his face plate and he went careening out of sight. He nodded to Mac, who took off faster than Sam knew a RAcast could. She and Hannah quickly followed, while Tylor brought up the rear.

They ran through the forest, with Tylor periodically stopping to slow Kireek before catching up and repeating the cycle. Mac laid waste to anything and everything that got in the way. Back through the Control Area, and across a long narrow bridge that connected the land mass with a tower Sam hadn't noticed before, isolated in the middle of a lake. She noticed an identical tower on the other side of the lake, but with no visible way to get to it. She just assumed the walkway was on the other side of the building and continued running. They got across the bridge and turned back to look for Tylor. He was approaching the bridge when Kireek came into view as well. The HUmar launched himself into the air and flew right over the bridge. As he passed over it, he took hold of his Zanba and swung it parallel to the bridge. A yellow bolt arced from his weapon to the bridge, obliterating the entire thing. He landed in front of Mac with a loud thud, cracking the ground beneath his feet. Kireek stopped to inspect the remnants of the bridge, backed up several feet, and then jumped just as Tylor had.

"You thought that would stop me!?" He screamed, raising his scythe up over his head, "I am superior to you all!"

"Well, no. I didn't expect that to stop you," Tylor replied, holding his Zanba to his back until he heard the telltale "click", "But this next part should at least slow you down. I doubt you can be killed while you still serve him."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, poking him in the shoulder.

"Well, first off, I've electrified the water, and we all know what electricity and water will do to electronics. And all the bridge pieces hitting the water certainly created a splash. Only problem is, the droplets are still in the air. I thought you girls would be the first ones to notice the rainbow," He pointed, directing their gaze upward, "But anyway, when I jumped over here, I left some of my technical energy in the air, which in turn ended up in the water. Now, if I decided to say, freeze the water in the air, I'd say Kireek would get a bit heavy."

As he uttered the word, all the airborne water droplets converged on Kireek and turned to ice. His forward momentum ceased almost immediately and he plummeted into the water, where sparks erupted from the point of impact. They continued on into the tower as Kireek sank to the bottom of the lake.

"The amount of energy required to electrify the whole lake is..." Sam whispered to Hannah as they continued running.

"Enormous," Hannah finished.

- - - - - - - - - -

You have failed Kireek, though you cannot be completely at fault. The Hunter far surpasses those we have encountered, A voice boomed.

"I am sorry, Master," Kireek spoke aloud. His vocal synthesizer seemed to be unaffected by the water, "It will not happen again."

You'd best hope so. I can assure you, failure is unacceptable.

Kireek burst free of his icy prison, and in one leap went from the bottom of the lake to approximately halfway up the tower.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Where are we going, and how much farther is it? I'm wiped!" Hannah yelled. As a Force, she was mentally fortified and prepared for just about anything, but will power could only get her so far. Her legs felt like spaghetti, and she couldn't catch her breath.

"Well, this is a research tower built by scientists on Pioneer 1," Tylor explained, "It was built to study the wildlife and carry out experiments. There are 11 floors to this building, and its sister on the western edge of the lake. There's a functional teleporter at the top, which is why we're headed up. If you're tired, we can take a break-"

"Yes please!" Sam and Hannah shouted in unison, collapsing where they stood. Mac put his weapons back in their capsule and threw it back into the compartment on his left forearm plate. The HUmar looked around, detached the sword from his back, and thrust it into the floor. No sooner than he removed his hand from the hilt, six strange beings popped into existence, as many of the creatures there had a habit of doing. Sam had noticed and come to the conclusion that anything that displayed this habit was an enemy. She thought about this for a while, and then realized the Legendary Hunter had the "popping" tendency. She decided he would be an exception, and turned her attention back to the new threat.

The beasts had heavily armored torsos, so much so that in terms of bulk they gave Mac a run for his money. They wore strange helmets that obscured their faces, but Sam could see a red glow coming from the eye slits, and it scared her. The armor stopped abruptly at the waist and from there on the creature was very lean, but muscular. They held strange partisan-esque weapons that resembled Kireek's scythe. These were smaller, but none the less frightening. Tylor looked at his sword, then at the ground he had turned into its sheath, and then at the creatures. Then back at the ground, and then over to the rest of the group.

"Sorry about the floor," He shrugged.

One of them launched itself at the young man, moving with the same speed he could. Or, that was what Hannah assumed. She was proven wrong, however, when the creature came back into view with its scythe out in front of it Tylor had grabbed the shaft of the weapon in the middle of the attack. The force of the swing sent a shockwave through the room, nearly knocking both girls off their feet. Out of nowhere a second one appeared behind him and shot a strange black ooze at his feet. Tylor tried to turn around but found his feet glued to the floor.

"Well, this is interesting," He said calmly. Sam couldn't believe it. How could he be calm? She was about ready to faint, and he was acting like nothing was wrong.

The first one lashed out again, but was blocked once more as Tylor took hold of the shaft. The second brought its scythe above its head but was also denied, hitting only the bracer on his right arm. This continued for several more blows, at which point two more of the monstrosities joined in. Tylor again grabbed the shaft of the first one's weapon and ripped it free of its grip. He whipped it around himself in a wide arc and knocked all four assailants back, sending them flying into the wall at the end of the room. Suddenly the substance holding him in place dissolved, and with it went one of the creatures. He took a defensive stance with the stolen weapon, but it quickly turned to a fine black powder before reappearing in the grasp of its owner. It screamed something unrecognizable, and then the five of them melted into the floor.

"Why didn't you do anything you sack of bolts!? He could've been killed!" Sam shouted.

"Minimal threat detected. Enemy numbers were insufficient," The android stated.

"No worries," The HUmar reassured, "They're far too slow to hit me."

"But I couldn't see either of you moving," Hannah argued, "How could they be too slow?"

"It just takes a while for your eyes to adjust. Like I said, don't worry."

They continued on through the next two floors uncontested. Arriving at the door to the next level of the tower, their progress was halted as Sam struggled to unlock the door. Her hands were shaking from the exhaustion and her nerves weren't helping either. Eventually she gave up, deciding the security lock was broken.

"Here, I've got the knock," Hannah said confidently. She strode over to the door and held her hand out. Slowly a red ball began to materialize in her palm.

"I've got a better idea," Tylor replied. He walked up to the keypad as Hannah withdrew her hand. After four keystrokes, the mechanism clicked and the door slid open with a hiss as air escaped from the pistons.

As they climbed the staircase, the lights grew dimmer and dimmer. By the time they got to the next floor only a few were left functional, and the light failed to penetrate the darkness that claimed the entire area. In the distance though, Sam could see two tiny balls of red light, and the unmistakable fear hit her like a ton of bricks.

Then the lights were gone.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Obsidian_Knight on 2007-03-02 11:04 ]</font>

[Serakor13]

Good story. The only thing I'm kind of wondering is why the girls aren't helping with any of the fighting...They are hunters after all.
Oh, well. Minor side note. Keep up the good work.

[McLaughlin]

Right now they're exhausted from the running.

Don't worry, it not one of those stories where everyone is useless except for one or two people. Thank you for reading!

[McLaughlin]

Just as a side note, depending on my schedule (it got thrown for a loop because of the Snow day yesterday) the latest the next chapter should be up by is Saturday.

Come on people, post!

[McLaughlin]

Well, I'm not actually dead, and I haven't forgotten about this. I've been forced to really buckle down to get my grades up, but there was a lull in my exam schedule, and so I bring you...Chapter 6: The first of many (More of a message to you guys than a chapter title, but meh). I hope you all like this, because I do intend to finish what I started. Enjoy! (I really hope this doesn't count as necromancy >_>)


Chapter 6: The First of Many


Three more pairs of lights appeared where the first had been, and a second later the room exploded into clear view as Tylor's Zanba struck Sam's fear. The room kept flashing as Kireek kept pounding on the unmovable man, and both girls caught a glimpse of the strange beings they had met before, right before they vanished. Before Sam could even ask, her question was answered as they rematerialized behind her.

"Mac!" Tylor yelled.

"Understood," the android responded.

He grabbed the first by its weapon and attempted to rip it free. Failing that, he jammed it hard into the thing's chest, sending it sailing into the second. With his free hand he drew his Yasminkov and fired, filling the first with holes. It fell backwards before it hit the ground and melted away. The third bolted forward and hit Mac hard with its scythe. He was sent skidding along the floor with a sizable chunk of his left forearm missing. Mac recovered quickly and retrieved his other Mechgun as sparks erupted from his arm. It fell limply to his side.

"What do we do now!?" Hannah yelped as the two remaining creatures closed in on them.

"We fight."

"How do you propose we do that!?"

"You get your weapon and you help him out!" Sam shouted back, "I'm tired of watching while everyone else saves us again and again. I'm sick of feeling useless!"

Sam took a few steps forward and stopped, shaking with her Twin Brand held in a white-knuckled grip, the blue photon blades humming in excitement as she stood petrified. The second shot forward, and Sam instinctively put her weapon up to block. The creature lowered its shoulder and hit her hard in the chest, sending her flying into the wall behind her. Dazed, she rose to her feet, still clutching her weapon. It surged forward again, but this time Hannah shut her eyes and pointed at the creature. A gigantic bolt of lightning shot out from her palm and struck the beast with enough force to stop it dead in its tracks. It turned to dust before it hit the ground.

"What the...?" Hannah whispered to herself.

The third shrieked and rushed forward. Mac fired with his functional arm but his volley missed, and the creature continued on. Tylor looked back over his shoulder, and Kireek took the chance and flew past him, headed for Hannah. Mac fired again, this time having more success and striking the thing in the legs and causing it to trip over itself and land it a heap. Tylor raced after Kireek as the android drew his scythe, and he dove forward in an attempt to reach Hannah before Kireek. Two seconds and a bright green flash of light later Kireek was left standing in the dark room with half his weapon missing.

"Impressive," he spoke aloud. He jammed the remaining portion of his weapon into the floor and it reappeared as good as new.

- - - - - - - - - -

"How's it hangin' Sue?

"I've been better. Let's get started," the woman replied.

"The others won't be joining us?" the man inquired, starting towards the teleporter.

"Unfortunately Floe's come down with something, I haven't been able to get a hold of Bernie." Sue explained.

"Well, that's no problem. Anyway, this shouldn't be too difficult. Just an exploration of a new sector in the Mines."

"I don't know about "cake" Ash. I distinctly remember you being cooked by that Gilchic explosion the last time we were there," Sue giggled.

"An explosion YOU caused!" Ash shot back, his face turning as red as his HUmar outfit.

"Not my fault you were standing beside the one I was aiming at. And anyway, that reminds me. I need to stop off in the Market district to stock up on healing supplies."

"Fine. Let's go."

Ash and Sue walked over to the Market area, and while Sue bought her supplies, Ash got into a heated debate with the Tekker on duty. The argument ended with Ash's new Varista being fired at him, and Ash nearly going ballistic.

Back outside the store, Ash handed the weapon to the Check room lady and told her to pile it with the others.

"I hate the Greenill Tekker," Ash explained, catching Sue's glare.

"That's no reason to start a war with him! As soon as you found the damn thing you knew it was a Varista," Sue sighed.

"Yeah, well he-" Ash started. He stopped mid-sentence when three green telepipes burst onto the deck of the telepipe junction.

"They're...all the same colour," Sue whispered.

"This better not be like earlier."

The tubes of light solidified into thick columns of green. Out of the leftmost one popped an android with a limp left arm. Out of the middle one came a very confused looking woman with a Twin Brand in her hands, and from the one on the right appeared a man with a mantle clutching a very frightened looking woman. A large, heavy-looking sword also appeared in the telepipe on the right.

"What the hell is going on here?" Sue exclaimed.

"I don't know, but look at that guy. Part of his cape's all funny. Looks like something's stuck behind it."

"Should we say something?"

"Nah," Ash shrugged, "There's no way anyone could miss that. No need to be rude about it."

"How...thoughtful of you Ash."

"Stow it Sue!"

The strange man let go of the girl and took a step back. Looking her over, and then checking the other two, he signaled them to head to the Medical Bay. They began the trek across the sector with the man in the rear of the group.

"Why are all these people looking at us funny?" Sam asked.

"Better question. How in the name of the light did we get here?" Hannah demanded.

"Telepipes," Tylor replied calmly.

"You mean...multiple telepipes? How the heck did you do that!? Most people can't even maintain one pipe. You managed three?"

"Yep."

They reached the Medical Bay and Tylor walked up to the receptionist's desk. She gave him a strange look, but he just smiled and said, "I'd like you to check these two girls out. Also, do you have a maintenance room available? My friend here needs to fix some circuitry."

"Al-alright," the woman stuttered. Two nurses came out and began to escort Hannah and Sam into examination rooms while what looked to be a modified RAcaseal came to help Mac. She was two thirds his height, with a metallic skirt and a red and white paint job. The pair looked comical, and Tylor chuckled.

"Thank you for your help ma'am."

He turned on his heel, took two steps and fell face first to the floor. The nurse screamed, and Sam rushed back to the front counter. She shook him several times before trying to flip him onto his back, but something was stopping him from turning over. Seeing the red patch on his mantle, she moved it aside to find the end of Kireek's scythe embedded in his back. It was in so deep she couldn't see the blade. She tried to pull it out but the weapon refused to budge, and instead of helping, the bleeding worsened.

"Do something!" she screamed, as his blood began to pool.

[McLaughlin]

Bump! Next chapter will be up by Sunday! Stay tuned!

[McLaughlin]

Well, this sucks. I was almost done the next chapter, but I had to format my PC yesterday to get my internet back (check Rants for the story). So, now I have to rewrite it. Hopefully it's up by Saturday. I know I haven't been stellar at holding to my own deadlines, but I'll do my best to make this one.