FanFic: "Napalm and Silly Putty" (COMPLETE) *Criticisms ar

[Ma_Navu]

Background

B.U.R.E. was the unluckiest of the unluckies. This cast was made completely of recycles goods, mainly newspaper, used cans, and beer bottles. His owner was negligent, and ended up tossing B.U.R.E. out. His skills with any weapon were below average, as was his budget-maintaining skills. Years later, he took finally obtained his GUARDIAN's License after the seventy-sixth attempt. In short, his life was hell.

Chapter 1 -- "BANG! And there's Unlucky, Trailing Behind~!"

A month went by before B.U.R.E. actually decided to take up a mission-- taking that test seventy-six times really took it out of him. He moved from his room to the fifth floor of the GUARDIAN's colony, losing his way every so often, being forced to ask for directions from strangers who blew him off before he could finish asking his question. Hell, at one point, someone actually spit on B.U.R.E., angry that he didn't know how to get there.

After getting to the fifth floor, the official working behind the keosk-like stand greeted him kindly, and congratulated him on his success that month ago-- he thought to himself, Finally! Some respect~!

"So... uh, which missions am I allowed to take up? I mean, I gotta actually do something, now that I'm a GUARDIAN and all," B.U.R.E. stated, somewhat enthusiastic.

"Well, we have one mission... but we think it's a little difficult for you, B.U.R.E."

B.U.R.E. paused for a bit. He thought it over, once, twice, three times..."I might as well take it. Doing nothing makes me feel more useless than I already am," he said, with little self-esteem.

After discussing other things, B.U.R.E. made his way to some shops in the colony, bought some essential tools, like a Mukuke, Dus Daggas, and monomates. Now broke, he headed towards the train station on the fourth floor of the colony, which led to the HIVE. The official told him that he'd be joined by another GUARDIAN, a Newman by the name of Til. She said that he was a newbie, just like B.U.R.E., but was known for his skills and talent. As B.U.R.E. stood in front of the station, he heard a voice from behind him.

"Hohohoho~! You must be that bucket o' bolts I was told to meet!"

B.U.R.E., vexed beyond all reason, turned around. There he was, that Newman he was told about. He wore a pair of recangular reading glasses, long, slicked-back hair, and the matching crimson and navy blue Flaxo attire. He looked intelligent, but he was, in short, a prick.

"So you're... Til, right? Pleased to meet you." B.U.R.E. extended his rusting metallic arm, in order shake Til's hand. However, Til knocked it away in disgust.

"Ugh, you actually think I'm gonna shake your rusting hand?! Look at that! I don't even think you're sanitary to be around! Bah. Let's just get this job done, before I catch some disease from you. Hurry the hell up, before I toss you in the recycling bin!" Til ran off into the train station.

B.U.R.E. stood there with only one thought on his mind-- ...If he degrades me one more time, so help me, Divine Light, I will take my rusting-metal boot, and shove it up his ass! Never had he been so angered in his life. But a job's a job-- he made his way into the station, clenching his paper-clip fist as hard as he could.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ma_Navu on 2007-03-13 17:57 ]</font>

[Ma_Navu]

Character pictures! WASHA~!

B.U.R.E.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v256/Raem10/psu20070228_100439_002.jpg

Til
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v256/Raem10/psu20070228_095604_000.jpg

[McLaughlin]

I like it!

[Serakor13]

Good start. I'm intrigued.

[Ma_Navu]

Chapter 2 -- Is it Justice if You Die?

Spear in hand (well, hands, but you get the picture), B.U.R.E. made his way into the HIVE base. As soon as he took a step in, however, he couldn't help but notice that Til was standing in a pile of dead SEED carcasses. Til just shrugged, gave a puzzled look, and asked, "What? You've never seen someone kill the SEED?" After giving the sarcastic question, he ran off towards the gate he had opened by killing the mob.

B.U.R.E. attempted to at least keep up with this little prick. During the fights with the HIVE's dark "army," B.U.R.E. was struggling to land any hits, as Til's Rafoie's were blasting the enemies into smithereens, in a blindingly fast pace-- like a cannonball being fired at their torsos. But, even so, they were completing the mission (and to B.U.R.E.'s satisfaction, Til made no comments other than, "Hold on, I have to use a Photon Charge.").

Finally, they made their way toward the final mob-- but instead of the usual Pannon or Delsaban, a trio of Gaozoran and a Jusnagun duo appeared. B.U.R.E., in an attempt to actually become useful, attempted to strike one of the new monsters by lunging at one of the Gaozoran with his spear.

This was, of course, an unsuccessful strategy, as the three Gaozoran vanished, scattered, and appeared behind him. They all lifted their rods in unison, and each casted a different spell-- all B.U.R.E. saw, though, was a mix of purple, red, and blue, right before the attacks ended his life. As Til saw this happen, he laughed like the cocky bastard he was, and exclaimed, "You don't fight these monsters like that! You use magic, like so!" He casted Rafoie, like he usually did, and struck all three targets at once.

The attack was completely ineffective.

As B.U.R.E.'s lifeless body layed under that floating orb of light (PSO reference, anyone?), the orb shook about with delight; it seemed like it was laughing, almost. While it giggled with joy, Til was beaten to a bloody pulp by the Jusnagun duo who grew tired of doing nothing.

By looking at the two corpses' orbs, one could infer that the interaction between the two was something to the effect of:

"Heh, 'This is how you kill them,' huh, Til?"

"BAH! You shut your mouth!"


Hours later, they were rescued by another pair of GUARDIANS who were sent to do just that, and spent the rest of the week recovering in the hospital they were taken to. The few times they actually saw each other during their recovery, B.U.R.E. taunted and teased Til as much as he could, whereas Til constantly swore that he would be the end of B.U.R.E.
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As a note, I'm gonna be releasing the story one chapter per day. If I can manage multiple, I'll try, but just expect one a day. =3

[Ma_Navu]

Well, what do ya know, time permits for another chapter~!

(CAUTION: Heavy cursing at the end of the chapter)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 3 -- Reservoir Dogs

Soon after recovering from their injuries, B.U.R.E. and Til were about to leave the hospital. They each handed specific paperwork to the nurse, who began stamping some... but hesitated before stamping Til's.

"Um, sir? Doctor Mason has requested that you stay for a while longer before you begin your departure from this hospital."

"Hm? How come?"

"Well, when we took a blood test, we were startled to discover that--"

B.U.R.E. interupted her by continuing her sentence, "--that Til has AIDS? Oh, we knew that already." It seems as though, during his stay in the hospital, he developed a sense of humor.

"Quiet down, you rusting imbecile! Now, ma'am, what were you going to say?"

"...Anyways, in the blood test, we discovered some trace elements of SEED DNA."

"Oh, that?" Til asked, mockingly. "That's a trait I share with my mother. She was... well, I don't B.U.R.E. hearing this." He leaned over the counter and whispered in her ear. B.U.R.E. was able to decipher only the broken phrases, "Well, she was... in some awkward... and then a Jusnagun... with it's small... which is surprising because... it's quite the opposite!"

After listening to this, the clerk instantly stamped his papers, shoved it on Til, and shouted, "DON'T YOU EVER, EVER TELL ANYONE ABOUT THAT STORY!! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" B.U.R.E. and Til both moved out of the hospital very quickly.

"What'd you tell her?!"

"Well, you heard the lady! I can't tell ya!"

A few months passed--

B.U.R.E. was feeding his Partner Machine, which was currently a GH-450 model. Apparently, by looking at the kinds of things he was feeding it, he became quite a success-- his equipment was much more advanced, and his face was completely different-- he managed to have an operation done which allowed it to look human. His human-like face, however, showed no sign of stress whatsoever. He became a respected GUARDIAN who was able to cope with all, if not, most situations presented to him, thus his high income.

BEEEEEEEEP. BEEEEEEEEEP.

"Master, your Vision Phone; would you like me to answer it?" his PM asked with an innocent look on it's face.

BEEEEEEEEP.

"Yeah, you might as well. Otherwise, it would become more annoying that it already is."

Click.

"Hello, this is B.U.R.E.'s residence. Who may I ask is speaking?"

The hologram remained blank, as if no one were on the other end. But, someone was, since the audio worked fine, as someone could be heard inhaling and exhaling, gasping for breath.

The PM asked her question again, "Hello, this is B.U.R.E.'s residence. Who may I ask is speaking?"

The one on the other end of the line managed to gather up enough air to bark angrily, "I'M FUCKIN' DYING HERE! I'M FUCKIN' DYING! SOMEONE FUCKIN' HELP, GODDAMMIT!!"



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ma_Navu on 2007-02-28 14:50 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ma_Navu on 2007-02-28 15:24 ]</font>

[Ma_Navu]

Now, since B.U.R.E.'s head has changed completely, here's a picture of what the engineers had done to him~!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v256/Raem10/psu20070228_100432_001.jpg

[Banish]

Nice story, it it so cool!

[Ma_Navu]

Wow, I've enough time for a third chapter in one day! Neat~
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Chapter 4 -- Southern Corkscrew

"I'M FUCKIN' DYING HERE! I'M FUCKIN' DYING! SOMEONE FUCKIN' HELP, GODDAMMIT!!"

B.U.R.E. quickly responded, "Alright then, where are you? What's going on?"

"Obviously, I'm getting my ass handed back to me," he barked at B.U.R.E., "for the love of the Divine Light, get some reinforcements over here!"

"Where are you?!"

"I'm on some ruined planet... the environment's ridiculously harsh, so I think I'm on R--

The transmission was cut off, leaving B.U.R.E. with a poor idea as to where the man was. "I do know of a planet with harsh environments, but I'm sure as hell it doesn't start with 'r'. I better let the other GUARDIANS know what's going on."

To summarize his actions, in half of an hour, he managed to relay the information to the clerk at the fifth floor of the colony, who, in turn, relayed it to every other GUARDIAN. B.U.R.E. sighed with frustration, since he had never dealt with a situation as odd as this. The clerk gave him information as to who may be able to help, and where they are-- a pilot of a ship near the Colony-to-Neudaiz station.

What was wierd, however, when B.U.R.E. met up with the pilot of the ship right outside of it, the man was obviously drunk.

"Hic Hey, you... you ... hic I'm in noooo condition to drive. Here're the keys... hic." He tried reaching into his pocket, but missed, reaching into nothing. "Damn moving pocket..." He properly dug into his pocket this time, and pulled out a set of keys.

"Uhm... sir? I don't know how to pilot something like thi--"

The drunk interupted, "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT, YOU'RE DRIVING!" He shoved the keys into B.U.R.E.'s hand. B.U.R.E. rolled his eyes and boarded the plane, followed by the stumbling drunk. Long story short, due to B.U.R.E.'s poor piloting skills, the ship was spiraling down toward a barren planet.

"Hic Now look what you did!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU DRUNK BASTARD."

[CupOfCoffee]

Pure slapstick Phantasy Star goodness. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif When I grow up, I want to be just like B.U.R.E. Paperclips for hands and everything!

[Ma_Navu]

Hopefully, if all goes according to plan, the first half of the story will be slapstick (as I've been doing, so far). After the climax, I'll see if I can at least incorporate a serious tone into the falling action.

But, as I've said at one point, the end WILL have an ironic twist-- you'll never see it coming. =3

[Ma_Navu]

Chapter 5 -- Magenta Parabola

B.U.R.E. pushed a large piece of scrap-iron off of his body. As he sat up, he exhaled heavily and scanned his surroundings. Obviously, the ship crashed and is now completely inoperable. Iron and sand were the only things visible... other than the bloody mess underneath a pile of iron-- the old man didn't make it, apparently.

He looked at that crimson puddle silently for a minute or so, in memorium of the drunk bastard. Ugh... if only I actually knew how to pilot that thing, he wouldn't have had to die, that poor drunk. He picked himself up from the ground and surveyed the area once more. Unlike Moatoob, this planet had deeper, richer hues of sand and bedrock, along with the occasional rotted tree here and there. It was a barren desert.

"I guess I should actually try finding a way off of this planet, huh?" he asked himself. The rusty mechanical man headed east for no particular reason. As he began this little trek, the sun became more brutal. In the sky, nothing, not even clouds were seen... except for vulture-like silhouettes seemingly circling B.U.R.E.

". . . I don't know why, but I don't like the looks of those birds." He equiped an ice-element Python, and fired it in the general direction of the shadows. It took a little longer than B.U.R.E. thought for the bullet to actually hit the foes, but it caused them to scatter. "That'll teach those damn birds to--"

Before he finished the sentence, the "birds" began diving straight down, towards B.U.R.E. Soon, the darkness faded from their figures, and he could clearly see those magenta-colored seemingly grow as they approached at a quikening pace. "...Wait a minute-- I thought those things were extinct!"

B.U.R.E. jumped out of the way as the two "vultures" swooped down. Since they missed, they flew back upwards, in a parabola-like flight pattern. "The hell!? What the hell are Zu's doing here?!" He aimed his gun at the closer Zu, and fired it several times-- due to the bird's flight pattern, however, only one or two of the bullets actually struck it; what's more, the bullets seemed to have done nothing to it.

"Aw, hell!" The one that was shot swooped down toward B.U.R.E. again. Thinking quickly, he equipped his element-less Muktrand and jumped on top of the bird, just before it managed to get a hit on him. His sheer weight as a Cast grounded the bird, allowing him to stab it's head with his spear. B.U.R.E. felt the wriggling of the Zu's back stop instantly as he punctured it's skull-- if he were a live being, he'd have felt that feeling to be gut-wrenching.

The next bird, however, made use of a smarter strategy-- while staying in the air, it opened it's beak, launching an azure beam at B.U.R.E., but due to it's poor accuracy, was a little off-target.

KABOOM!

The shockwave sent him flying, along with limbs and organs of the Zu B.U.R.E. killed-- apparently, the laser that was fired hit the bird and not our recyclable hero. However, his spear was still stuck inside the monster's head when the beam struck, so B.U.R.E. was now unfit to fight in close-quarters combat.

"Aw, crap."

The flying Zu took advantage of this situation by swooping down like the previous Zu. However, this time, it snatched up B.U.R.E. like a bug. "UGH! Let me go, dammit!" He struggled, hoping that he could escape the bird's shark-like jaws, but to no avail... "Divine-Light-dammit! How the hell do I--" An idea appeared from out of nowhere.

He equipped his Virus Trap G's, and threw all five into the bird's belly, knowing that the virus wouldn't effect him, as he had no organs and such.

KRAK-KA-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM!!

The explosion was so immense that the Zu looked like it imploded. But, not according to B.U.R.E.'s calculations, the traps DID have an explosion that could hurt him, which it in fact did. He fell to the ground, writhing in pain.

"Uugh... if only Kentucky Fried Zu had healing propertied for Casts," he sarcastically stated, as Zu guts rained from the sky, covering him with a crimson tint of blood.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ma_Navu on 2007-03-01 13:12 ]</font>

[Ma_Navu]

Chapter 6 -- Deep Purple

B.U.R.E. blanked out after the Zu incident; apparently, his system couldn't handle the damage inflicted on the body, so it went into a hibernation mode of sorts. He awoke in a cave that was strangely well lit and high-tech.

"...Now, how many times does this make it that I've gone unconcious today?" he asked himself, jokingly.

Out of the cold blue, a voice replied, "Today? You've been down for a month!" The question was swiftly followed by two large gulps. B.U.R.E. turned around to see a human of 35 or so, with white, somewhat frizzy hair that looked like someone tried slicking it back, but didn't bother using gel, a white tanktop, black suspenders, a pair of sandals, and a 2-liter bottle of booze being held in one hand.

Oh great, someone else who drinks. I hope he doesn't die like that other guy.

The man smirked. "So, tinman, have you noticed anything different?"

"Like?" B.U.R.E. asked in a confused tone.

"Well, for starters, you're not made of paperclips and beer bottles anymore!"

B.U.R.E.'s human-like eyes widened as he looked at his arms. Brand-spankin' new metal coating, no rust, nothing out of place-- perfect. "Holy hell! This... how'd you do this?! This is so badass!"

"Well, I have a knack for building Casts such as yourself, so changing your metal frame wasn't really a problem. Oh, and the beer bottles you were made of? Let's just say that the leftover traces of beer was delicious." His smirk grew even larger than it already was.

"--I didn't need to hear that last part, but still, thanks a bunch! How can I repay you for this perfect job?" B.U.R.E. asked with a smile plastered on his fake face.

"No need to thank me yet. I've got something else for ya. Follow me, tinman." He turned around, took a big swig from his bottle of booze, and headed back the way he came. B.U.R.E. got up from where he was, and followed. On the way to wherever he was being led to, B.U.R.E. asked, "So, to answer some unanswered questions, where am I? What happened when I blanked out?"

The man turned around completely to face B.U.R.E., but began walking backwards to keep moving the right way. "Well, obviously, you're in my place, my humble abode!"

"...It doesn't look so humble to me. More like, extravagant," B.U.R.E. commented.

"Hush, you. Anyhow, what happened was, I was looking aroundthe desert to find some scrap parts hidden in the sand, since this area is known for having great pieces of technology in random locations. While doing so, I saw you on the ground soaked with blood and guts and the like, and dragged you back here, where I performed an upgrade on you."

B.U.R.E. remembered the spear he had lost in battle. "D--did you happen to find a spear over by where I was?"

The man thought hard for a moment, and replied, "If you must know, I did. But it was broken in two."

"Aw, hell. That's no good." B.U.R.E. was disappointed-- if his spear was broken, his pistol would be of no use against the monsters on this planet, like the Zu's.

"Now, now, don't worry," the man said, trying to comfort B.U.R.E., "I was able to infer that the spear was yours, so I was able to make you a weapon to replace it, and let me assure you, it's a hundred times better than that stick you call a 'spear.' " He grinned that reassuring grin again.

"Wow... thank you so much! I still don't know how to repay you, Mr...?"

"Jun Sival is the name!" He turned back around and began to walk normally again. "I used to be a famous prodigee back in the day, so I learned how to tinker with mechanical objects from the greatest of the great." A smug look instantly appeared on his face.

"So, Jun, are we--"

B.U.R.E.'s question was interupted by Jun's loud presentation-y voice, "HERE WE ARE! THE ARMORY~!"

Wow, that answered my question.

"You stay here tinman, I'll go fetch you your new weapon."

As Jun headed in, B.U.R.E. yelled back, "My name's B.U.R.E.! Stop calling me tinman, dammit!"

Jun just laughed his ass off before taking another few swigs from his bottle. A few minutes later, B.U.R.E. could hear in the back room several curses and a loud, "Where the hell did I put that thing?!" which was then followed by, "AHA! Here's that little bugger!" He came walking back with a photon-less blade.

"Erm, Jun? Sorry to ask, but why doesn't that blade have any--"

"Photon? Oh, I put a switch on it. This badboy runs on a special, artificial photon that I invented, the 'Sival-Photon.' It's so powerful, that those with weak constitutions will vomit when it is put near them. Otherwise, it's not dangerous at all."

"So, Jun, what do you call this 'badboy' of yours?" B.U.R.E. asked, still unsure of the blade's power.

Jun chuckled to himself. "Since this thing was modeled from a rare weapon of old, I'll name this badboy after it..." He flicked the switch, causing a deep purple, blade-shaped photon to surge from the hilt of the saber.

Jun held the purple saber out in front of him, exclaiming, "I'll call it the 'Lavis Cannoc!' "



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ma_Navu on 2007-03-01 17:12 ]</font>

[Ma_Navu]

Before I start on Chapter 7, I'd like to let you all know that I'm open to any criticisms you may have-- if it can help me become a better writer in the long run, go ahead and bring it up. As long as it ain't anything that isn't a constructive criticism like, "OMG THIS SUCKS SO BAD GO KILL YOURSELF," in which case I'll chase after you with sandpaper. It hurts, let me tell you.
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Chapter 7 -- Small Talk

While lounging around in Jun's cave, the two were still talking about that weapon Jun brought out, hours after he had shown it to B.U.R.E.

"Lemme tell ya, it was no picnic building this thing."

"How come?"

"Well, this was the first time I tried putting the Sival-Photons to use by making a reactor for 'em. The photons are so unstable that by swinging the sword, you're able to launch a small wave." Jun held the deep lavender beauty in his hand, admiring the quality of his work. "I don't think anyone has built a finer blade." He took a swig of his booze.

"No kidding-- all the mass-produced weapons are so confining, as they're all built to a specific standard. Most likely, though, this is to prevent the GUARDIANS from rioting or going nuts.”

Jun smirked again, still holding the Cannoc in his hand, which, incidentally, was the hand he normally used to hold his booze. He attempted to drink some more, but lifted the wrong hand.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH HHHHH!!!”

An hour, 54 painkillers, and a roll of gauze later…

“A--are you okay?”

“Sure, never better!”

“But… you punctured the back of you throat! There’s a hole in the back of your neck!!”

“Quiet, you! Now…” he picked up the Lavis Cannoc, with that Grinch-like grin still plastered on his face, like it would stay there forever, like he was the happiest man alive, “this is yours. If I find out that you EVER break it or lose it, I will hunt you down to the end of the universe. Capiche?” With that, he seemed like that stereotypical mob boss who seems like he’s on your side, but is, in fact, the most evil motherfucker on Earth; the possession of the purple juggernaught has changed.

“I don’t know how many times I’ve said this, but thank you, Jun!”

“Three,” Jun replied instantly.

“Huh?”

“You said ‘thanks’ three times.”

B.U.R.E. just looked at him with a vexed look on his face. “Y-you do know that what I said was a figure of speech, right?”

“I’m only screwing around with you,” he scoffed. “Now, how’s about we take this baby for a test drive?” He eyed his creation.

“Sure, why the hell not?” The two got out of their seats and made their way to the entrance of Jun’s cave / home.

[McLaughlin]

I like it! Some parts really make me laugh.

[Ma_Navu]

Chapter 8-- "Well Then, They Made up Information, Eh?"

In the middle of the desert, explosions were set off in distant locations, but each in a linear position. All of the explosions were caused by B.U.R.E.'s test-slash. He stood in awe after witnessing the destructive power a single movement of the blade could cause.

"So-- so this is really the reason you put a switch on this thing, huh?"

"Heh, you got me there. This thing's just too destructive if left on. But, but! You have to admit, this is one badass sword, eh?" His energetic tone seemed out of place, seeing as though he was ecstatic about something that could annihilate a town in no time flat.

B.U.R.E. paused as a thought popped into his mechanical head.
"...You know, now that I think about it, I still don't know why you did so many things for me. I mean, you could've easily left me in the desert."

Jun stayed quiet for a while, rubbing his chin while deep in thought. "Hmm... honestly, I really don't know. Passing whim, I guess. Most likely, it's because I haven't seen anything but wildlife out here, so I haven't had any interaction with a civilized being in a while."

"But, if that's the case, where do you get your booze from?" B.U.R.E. pointed at his two-liter bottle of booze, refilled only thirty minutes ago.

"W-well, uh... y'see..."

"Lies~! Anyone who stutters or pauses a lot while explaining only spews out lies," B.U.R.E. stated in a comical fashion.

"Actually, I make my own booze. It's illegal, and I saw your little GUARDIANS License while fixing you up, so I only assumed you would bust me for that."

"Well, uh..." If B.U.R.E. was human, he'd be flushed with embarrasment. Well, if this hadn't happened.

Loud, thunderous footsteps shook the ground like an earthquake that measured high on the Richter Scale. The two quickly turned to see what the hell could cause such a commotion-- and there they saw approaching faster than they could comprehend, a total of five four-legged monsters of tremendous size. B.U.R.E. tried readying his new weapon, but was tackled by one of the ferocious beasts before he could lift it. As the monster sent him flying, it stopped itself causing it to skid across the ground.

Although Jun was able to swiftly dodge the foes, B.U.R.E. hit a rocky wall with his back due to the mammoth-sized animal.

Out of concern, Jun shouted, "You okay, B.U.R.E.?!"

He replied with a hint of sarcasm in his tone, "Ugh... yeah, I'm okay, after being tackled by some triceratops-looking freak of a monster! Of course I'm okay!" Groaning and staggering, he managed to pick himself up and ready his sword. "Let's see if this thing is useful for killing things!"

B.U.R.E. held the Lavis Cannoc above his head and swung down, forcing the blade to launch a photon beam at one of the rampaging animals. Amazingly, three of the five were positioned in such a way that they got hit, all in different, yet vital, body parts. Not only did the ground crack and a distant mountain get split in two, the three animals all died simultaneously after spurting purple blood from their massive wounds.

"...Wow. That's just... wow." No matter how many times he saw the effects of his new weapon, he could not stop himself from being awed by its raw power. As B.U.R.E. looked to his left towards the other two beasts-- only to see Jun atop a pair of gargantuan, disfigured, bloody corpses, wiping the dirt off his hands.

"What? Do you actually think that I wouldn't know how to deal with freaks like these, after I've lived here for the Divine Light knows how long? Psh."

"So, Jun, what the hell were those things? They looked a lot like Dorpho--"

Jun interupted, "Dorphons? Obviously, they look like Dorphons 'cause they are."

"Then, if those are Dorphon, and what I killed before were Zu's... then am I on Ragol?! They said in the history books that this place was annihilated by an acient, malevolent force!"

"Well, then the writers of those books made up the information as they went along, eh?"

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ma_Navu on 2007-03-02 16:13 ]</font>

[Ma_Navu]

Chapter 9 -- "Oh yeah... I almost forgot about that!"

"They... made the information up? Why!?" B.U.R.E. asked, completely unsure of what was going on.

Jun rubbed the back of his head with his free hand. "Honestly, I haven't the slightest clue."

"Well, fuck. That brings us back to square one, doesn't it?" He lifted the Cannoc up, and switched it off.

"Nothing left to do but to keep moving, eh?"

"Yeah, might as well," B.U.R.E. said in a dissatisfied tone.

The two headed towards the direction the sun was setting, meeting and destroying several monsters of old, like the Boota's and their kin, the Sand Rappies, the Satellite Lizards and Yowies, and lastly, a group of Zu's with the leader being the rare variant of the species, the green Pazuzu (which, by chance, dropped an ancient Photon Crystal, worth billions due to it's age and rarity). Their little test-run for the Cannoc proved useful, as all the enemies were blown away like nothing... well, except for the Rappies. They all ran away after pretending to die.

BOOM.

"And that takes care of the last Zu. You think we should head back, Jun? This test bettered my skills with the saber a bit, an--"

His statement was interrupted (like many of his other statements before) by a distant cry that sounded like someone being wounded or tortured, or something like it.

"STOP! PLEASE! I'LL TELL YOU ANYTHING, JUST STOP!"

"Listen kid, I'm not gonna bullshit you, all right? I don't give a good fuck what you know, or don't know, but I'm gonna torture you anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It's amusing, to me, to torture a cop. You can say anything you want cause I've heard it all before. All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you ain't gonna get."

B.U.R.E. turned to Jun. "...I reeeally think we should investigate that, don't you?"

Jun, with an uncharacteristically worried look on his face, replied, "D-do we really have to?"

B.U.R.E. rolled his artificial eyes and made his way over to where the distant conversation seemed to come from. As he arrived, he saw something. At first, it looked like a blob, making muffled screams. Then, as time progressed, he saw the "blob" split into two. The one that moved away the origin, after being focused on, looked more like a beast-- a woman, whose face gave her a frighteningly cruel look. But... in her hands, she carried odd things. In one, an older-than-sin razor; in the other, an... ear?

B.U.R.E. focused more on the other "blob," which was, in fact, a human tied to a post. His mouth was covered in masking tape or something similar, and he had... a missing ear, which seemed to be the cause of the muffled screaming.

"Divine light, almighty, what the hell did that guy just...?!" He already knew the answer to the question. The sinister woman turned around, moved towards a small mound of sand. While pulling out a small, metallic object by what seemed to be it's handle, the human tied to the post struggled more and more, screaming even louder than before.

Finally, she made her way back to the human, smiling as he squirmed around, trying to escape. She then turned the object upside-down, dumping a liquidy content on to him, which in turn, caused him to shout in pain.

At this point, B.U.R.E. sprung into action. He charged toward the brutal torture scene, flicking his Cannoc on. As he charged, the woman muttered to herself. B.U.R.E. had no clue as to what she said, but barked at the woman, "Hey, lady! What the hell are you doing to th' kid!?" Leaping into the air, he spun forward and slashed downward, as if he was using the Spinning Break photon art.

The beast sidestepped to B.U.R.E.'s left, dodging it like nothing. As his blade began touching down onto the ground, he witnessed, like in slow motion, a swift kick delivered to the side of his jaw. If he had any nerves, by God, that would hurt. The kick launched him to his right, where he landed on the ground, skidding a bit.

Out popped Jun from the background, with a worthless comment, "Damn it! That metallic body I gave him's all scratched now! Damn it, damn it, damn it!!" So, as he was about to go back into hiding, he saw that young man tied to the post.

Should I go risk my life to help him? Or should I be a live coward? Eeeeehhh... Screw it. Not like I'm gonna do anything else with my life. Jun rolled his eyes, and sneaked his way toward the man, as B.U.R.E. got his ass beaten horridly by the woman. She dodged all of his attacks, and countered with ferociously powerful kicks.

Jun, who moved as silently and swiftly as a ninja, got to the man, and made a "Be quiet" gesture with his free hand. The man, surprised by the appearance of Jun, nodded his head after inferring that he was there to help, as Jun placed his two-liter bottle of booze on the ground. Like an expert thief, he untied the rope... and whispered, "Rope? Who uses rope nowadays?"

Back to B.U.R.E., he still had his ass being handed back to him. His cybernetic body was covered in several large dents, due to her fancy footwork. "Damn it, you're good!"

She barked back, "No, you're just ridiculously slow."

"Ah, touche. But you know what?" he said with a growing grin. With a concerned look, she wondered what the hell he could've been planning. "While I was doing this, I'm sure my partner freed up your little prisoner and is long gone by now." He chuckled a bit... before whe woman looked to where the post was.

She saw Jun and her prisoner trying to sneak away like children attempting to keep from making any noises as they makes his way through their parents' room as they sleep. Jun turned his head, and noticed that she noticed him.

He let out an audible "We've been spotted! CHEESE IT!" as he made a mad dash toward a nearby hill. The freed prisoner, surprised by this, hesitated a bit before scrambling after Jun.

She looked back at B.U.R.E., who was covering his face with his hand, ashamed of his comrade's ineptitude. " 'Long gone,' huh?"

"SHUT UP. Let's just finish this!" In an all-or-nothing strike, he swung his Lavis Cannoc in a horizontal arc, launching a wave of photon at his foe. She was struck down quickly due to the attack's speed, their distance from each other, and the fact that swords wouldn't normally launch a long-range attack. Luckily for her, however, the wound inflicted on her wasn't fatal.

B.U.R.E. saw that she was still breathing. "Holy crap, she's immortal! ...Do I smack her with a shoe?" All joking aside, he left her as is, and made his way toward where his "comrade" hid.

Jun popped out like last time, asking, "Is it same to come out yet?"

"Yeah it is. So, did you get the kid's name?"

"Actually, no. I was too worried about, you know, my life ending and such."

"Divine Light, you're such a wuss."

Jun replied with a wry smile, "Yes, but a live wuss!"

B.U.R.E. snickered a bit before looking at the cowering kid. "Hey, you."

The kid opened his eyes wide. He stated quickly, "You... I've heard you're voice before."

This surprised B.U.R.E. "Really? From where?"

"Weren't you the one I spoke to on the Vision Phone about two months ago?

B.U.R.E. searched his memory bank before remembering that he did so (Ya know, back in chapters 3 and 4?). "Oh yeah... I almost forgot about that!"

[Balthasar]

"darkest before the dawn"? "hold back the day" by devildriver?

[Ma_Navu]

Well, at first, I was planning for this thing to be a "Triumph over all adversities" story, but I ended up writing other stuff. I gotta rename this, so bleh. xD

EDIT: I changed the title; this story is named after a book by George Carlin. "I think it serves as a fairly decent metaphor for" my style of writing in this story, as it has a dual nature. At times it's serious-- others, silly.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ma_Navu on 2007-03-05 13:48 ]</font>

[Ma_Navu]

Chapter 10 -- Profanity, Ahoy~!

"What the fuck were you waiting for? This fucking bitch ties me to a post, and she cuts my fucking ear off! I'm fucking deformed!" the kid shouted angrily at B.U.R.E.

He promptly responded in a manner completely unlike himself, "FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! I WAS BEATEN HALF TO DEATH! FUCK YOU!!" His face would've been beat-red due to anger, had he been a living organism. He was pissed only because he risked his life to save the ungrateful bastard's life, and in return, practically got shat on. His outburst scared the kid silent.

"Now, just so you fucking know, I was out of commision for a month, thus hindering my time GREATLY. And not only that, before this whole fucking situation, I fell from a ship that went down in flames from fucking OUTER SPACE-- You know, that high motherfuckin' place in the sky? -- and got blown up by a set of traps not an hour later! And even EARLIER than that, when you were giving me information of your wareabouts, all I got was, 'I think this place is R--.' No lead, no nothing. The fact that I got here was a fucking miracle on your part. The least you could've fucking did was give me some sort of thanks, but you decided to piss all over my parade. Newsflash, asshole! Without me, you'd have probably had your throat slit by that sadistic psycho! Or worse!"

Jun stood in awe-- he had never seen someone curse so much in his lifetime, let alone these couple of minutes. "Hey, uh... Tinman? Maybe you should ease up a little on the profanity. And maybe the kid."

B.U.R.E. paused for less than two seconds before he shouted one final thing. "Kid, should you become any more ungrateful than you already are, I swear to the Divine Light almighty, I will personally rip off your balls with my bare-hands. MY BARE-HANDS, DAMMIT!"

The kid sat speechless. Wide-eyed, he thought to himself, I think I would've liked it better with the lady...

Soon, they headed back to Jun's cave/home. It sort of felt like B.U.R.E. was a drunk father beating the shit out of his son, while Jun acted like the wife who tried to stop this senseless brutality. During this little excursion, however, everyone was taciturn. Even Jun was too uncomfortable in this situation to speak a word, just as the family would be at the dinner table after the incident.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ma_Navu on 2007-03-05 14:24 ]</font>

[McLaughlin]

I liked that chapter. Keep it coming!

[HUnewearl_Meira]

Stickied.

[Ma_Navu]

Oshi-- Sticky~! =3
---------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 11 -- Attempts to Make Ammends

At the entrance of Jun's cave, B.U.R.E. abruptly broke the silence in a manner much like his normal mood after thinking over his actions during the walk.

"So, kid, you got a name? It's getting awkward calling you 'Kid' all the time."

The kid hesitated a bit. Anyone would be cautious when a pissed-off robot tries talking to you after threatening to rip your balls off. He finally managed to let out a quiet, "D-Dacci..."

"Dacci? Alright then." B.U.R.E. glanced at Dacci's "ear-wound," noticing that it was a horrid mess. Why didn't I notice that before? "Hey, Jun?"

Jun was on guard as well-- he didn't know what to expect from the seemingly schizophrenic Cast. "...Yeah?"

"D'ya think you could help Dacci with his ear? Maybe graft him a new one or something? It looks like he might get an infection or something like that."

Jun quickly thought to himself, Eh? That was a quick change of heart... "Sure, I'll see what I can do. If worse comes to worst, I'll just have to give him something to go over his... ear-nub, so it doesn't attract any unwanted attention."

"Unwanted attention?" Dacci asked.

Jun quickly thought aloud, "Well, would you like it if, while minding your own business, someone walks up to you and says, 'OMIGAWD! What happened to your ear? Eeeeeaaaauuuuuwwww, creeeepy~~! Can I touch it?' Would you like it? I wouldn't," his gestures animating the statement.

B.U.R.E. snickered to himself. Leave it to Jun to lighten the mood.

Dacci questioned further, "Um... well, if that's the case, are you a doctor of sorts? I mean--"

Jun interjected, "Technically, I'm not a doctor. I'm just good at making things, and such."

"M-making things? Then... if you're gonna try grafting an ear on me, it would hurt a lot wouldn't it? I mean, I don't think you have any anesthesia since your not a doctor."

"And? Here's what I'll do: I'll give you a towel to bite down on while I graft an ear on you!"

"WHAT!? No way!"

"Fine, okay, I have another idea. I have a wrench in my workshop. I can knock you unconcious with it! It's like anesthesia, if you think about it."

"NO! Nonononononono, no, no, no! There's no way in hell I'll let you do that!"

Jun smirked and chuckled, "Relaaax, I'm only screwing around. I do have anesthesia-- why, though, I haven't the slightest clue." He kind of looked away after saying that last part.

B.U.R.E. pondered aloud, "Juuun... have you been making other things illegally?"

"Ma~ybe I have, ma~ybe I haven't!"

"Stop avoiding the question!"

In a spontaneous burst, Jun began running into his home shouting in a 60's mobster accent, "You'll never catch me alive, copper! Nyah, see? Nyah," like Bugs Bunny in one of those cartoons with Rocky the mob boss.

B.U.R.E. quickly chased after him, yelling, "JUN! Come back here, you sly bastard! We got this place surrounded!" Obviously, they were joking around, seeing as though he continued Jun's joke by acting like a police officer in the 60's.

Dacci, the only one left outside, scrambled around before racing into the cave. "Heeeey~ Don't run off without me~~!!"

The next day, around mid-morning...

Dacci patted his new ear, exclaiming, "Perfect! It's as good as new! Thanks a bunch, Doc!"

Jun replied, "Doc? Hmmm... 'Doctor Jun Sival!' That has a nice ring to it~ I need to forge me a-- I mean, earn me a degree!" His eyes were shifty at that moment.

"Juuun~ Don't you dare try forging anything! I've already caught you illegally making two other things! I might hafta arrest you, if I find you doing anything else wrong," B.U.R.E. jested.

"Fine, fine," Jun reluctantly "agreed," before taking a swig of his booze. "Ah, nothing like some of the finest alcohol available in the morning!"

Noticing this, Dacci thought vociferously, "I-- is that BOOZE?! Were you drinking while you were grafting the ear onto me yesterday!?" Obviously, there was good cause for worry.

"Of course not," Jun said in a reassuring tone. "I did my drinking before I started the grafting! I thought, 'Might as well get it out of the way beforehand.' "

Dacci fainted quickly. B.U.R.E. laughed, slapping his knee. "Did you actually do that?"

"Nah, I know when to and when not to drink," Jun stated with the infamous smirk plastered on his face.

[Ma_Navu]

Chapter 12 -- Chance

While Dacci was unconcious, Jun was able to repair the dents on B.U.R.E. caused by the insane woman. Afterwards, B.U.R.E sifted through his inventory, noticed the photon sphere he got from the Pazuzu, and raised some questions as he usually did.

"Hey, Jun, do you know what I could do with this thing?" He lifted up the sphere, so the it was viewable by Jun.

"Eh? The photon sphere? Well, waaaay back in the day, there was a crime syndicate that traded you an attempt to find some really rare weapons for one of those spheres... it was called A Deal with Black Sheet in the Hunter's Guild, or something like that," he explained. "At one point, there was a specific rare weapon that everyone wanted... it was very difficult to find in the 'quest,' a female only weapon, Vivienne. Some Cast by the name of Honou found dozens of them, putting almost three-fourths of the economy's Viviennes into circulation.*"

"Honou, eh? Must've profited heavily from it."

"You're tellin' me! I heard he got loads for those Vivienne from other hunters!" As Jun kept talking of ancient history, it put a sort of reminicent smile on his face, like an old Sega fan who starts playing their old Sega Saturn after years of playing other systems.

Apparently, Dacci woke as the two were having the conversation. "D-did I hear you guys say something about 'Photon Spheres' and a 'Black Sheet'?"

B.U.R.E. turned his head to him, replying, "Yeah. Earlier, I found this little doo-dad," he lifted his sphere and continued, "and I asked Jun what this was used for. He said that back in the day, some 'Black Sheet' syndicate used it for--"

Dacci instantaneously interupted, as everyone else seems to do in this story a lot, " 'Black Sheet' my ass, you're talking about Black Paper! That infamous syndicate was known far and wide for their little 'deals,' and more importantly, their executioner!"

Jun and B.U.R.E. looked at eachother, then back to Dacci. "And... how do you know so much about Black Paper?" Jun asked.

"Well... I used to be a part of them. That's why the lady from before was torturing me, they didn't want me flapping my gums!"

"I see, I see... so, how were you a part of them? I mean, if they used to be known far and wide, how are they still up and about? It's been a long while, so I'd think they'd die out before now," Jun inquired.

"I don't know. Honestly, I don't. I was just a pawn who was sent to deal with intruders, but after seeing what they did behind closed doors during one of our 'inquisitions,' I just got the hell out of there. All I know is that, the boss, Black Paper, is either alive and kicking, or has been replaced by someone else who uses the same alias-- and, if I'm not mistaken, the executioner's alias is the Black Hound. I've no clue how this syndicate has lasted for so long."

"Black Hound? Sounds badass," B.U.R.E. commented. "Anyhow, if you know so much about Black Paper, can you tell us more about this?" He tossed the photon sphere he mentioned earlier at Dacci.

After catching and scrutinizing it for a while, his eyes widened. "Jesus tap-dancing Christ! You actually have one?! This is great!"

Jun thought to himself, Jesus Christ? Who?

B.U.R.E. questioned further, "Great? How so?"

"Well, the syndicate still has that deal going on!"

"You mean the one where you exchange the sphere for the chance at the items, right?"

"Yeah!" Dacci seemed oddly positive about this situation, seeing as though it involved him dealing with the people who tried killing him. "Thing is, though, you can't try taking it as a quest like you could back in the day. You have to actually come up to where they reside somewhere in the desert."

"Why would they still be holding this little event up?"

"Well, they apparently need to study them for some 'advanced technology' they're building. Why they do so on a barren planet like this, however, I haven't the slightest."

"Huh. Do you know where we could find them?"

"Well... generally."

"What kind of answer is that?"

"I have a short attention span, so I probably forgot the directions I took already." Dacci looked down in embarrassment.

"Can you give us a general direction? A hint, a clue?" B.U.R.E. persisted, "I just hope to the Divine Light you don't give me any of that, 'Well, it's over by the N--' crap. I was clueless last time I needed that kind of information."

Dacci chuckled for the first time. "Heh, all I remember is walking towards the direction in which the sun sets until getting to a ridiculously large crater. Near the center of the crater is a transporter, which takes you to their hideout."

B.U.R.E. turned to Jun. "Up for a little havoc?"

Jun warily responded, "What do you mean by that, Tinman?"

"Well, after we get our attempt, we could, ya know, thrash up the place!"

Dacci quickly intervened, "NO! No fucking way, no no no! I don't wanna die!"

"How bad could it be? An old syndicate like that should consist of, tops--TOPS!--fifty members."

Dacci gave an odd face. "Wow. You're right on the money."

"Never underestimate my guessing-skills!" B.U.R.E. said proudly. "Anyway, we'll try finding them in two days or so. If that girl I fought is any indication to how strong these guys are, I can probably take them all out with the Lavis Cannoc Jun gave me."

Dacci thought aloud, "I hope your right. I hope to the the Divine Light you're fucking right."

[Ma_Navu]

Note from the above chapter:

*This reference is of my actions in PSOBB. When DDwBP came out, I got loads of Viviennes quickly. Although, I'm not sure if I did put THAT many Viv's into circulation. xD

[Ma_Navu]

Chapter 13 -- Spoils of the Dangerous Deal

The three finally arrived at the colossal crater, which surprisingly, wasn't guarded at all from what they could see.

"So, is this it, Dach?" B.U.R.E. asked.

"...Dach? Why the nickname all of a sudden?"

"Dunno. Are ya gonna answer me or no?"

Dacci rolled his eyes. "Yeah, we're here. The teleporter should be somewhere near the center. It's next to a giant fault in the middle, so I think we can find it fairly quickly."

Long story short, after an hour of looking, they found the teleporter. Took 'em an hour due to the occasional encounter with monsters. Anyhow, they were surprised that the teleporter actually DID have a guard... but was sleeping on the job. The three climbed over him and warped to their next destination. As they left however, they heard the guard sleep-talking.

"But mommy, I don't wanna go to school... *Snore* ...I wanna stay home an' bake cookies with you~"

They snickered quietly as they vanished.

They reappeared in a small room that had two other teleporters. Jun and B.U.R.E. looked at Dacci, as they thought he knew what to do next.

". . .What?"

"Well, what now?" Jun asked quickly.

"I-- I don't know, I mean, last time I was here, there was only one tele--"

"Oh, fucking great," B.U.R.E. blurted. "We might as well pick a random one." He then proceeded to pick one through the scientific process of elimination commonly called "Eenie Meanie Minie Moe." As he was doing this, the other two just dropped theirs heads into their raised palms in embarrassment. In the end, he picked the one on the right. "Well, let's go!"

They proceeded to go through, and were sent to another small room, this time with only one teleporter... and a guard who wasn't screwing around like the previous one they found.

"You three!" She cocked her shotgun and aimed it at them. "State your business!"

Dacci basically shat bricks as B.U.R.E. calmly responded. "We heard about this deal you guys have dealing with photon spheres and what not, and we decided to try our luck."

She lowered the shotgun and practically swapped personalities. She spoke with an air-headed tone, "Well, if you wanted to attempt our 'Dangerous Deal with Black Paper,' you shoud've said so in the first place~! Follow me!" She skipped into the teleporter and disappeared.

Jun looked at the other two. "What the hell was that about?" The only response he got was a shrug from B.U.R.E. They followed.

As soon as they stepped out of the teleporter, they were instantly greeted by the same girl. "Soooo~ do you have a photon sphere~? If you don't, I'll hafta kill you!" She kept a stupid smile on her face while winking.

Just what we need, another friggin' looney... B.U.R.E. brought out his Sphere. "Yeah, I have one."

"Good, good, I didn't wanna hafta get my suit blood-stained~!" She continued skipping towards a switch after snatching the sphere from the robot's hand. After inserting it into small device next to the switch, she activated the switch itself. "Okay, sweeties, which one of you is going in?"

B.U.R.E. took a step forward. "I wi--"

Jun quickly interupted him. "Screw you, Tinman! You've had too much fun! It's MY turn!"

B.U.R.E. reluctantly agreed, "Fine, fine, go ahead Jun. You sure you know how to handle yourself?"

"Ya know, just because you have that Cannoc doesn't mean you have the best weapon of all time!" He brought out a weapon that no one had ever seen before-- a gargantuan turret painted with army camoflauge. "I call it the 'L&K38 COMBAT,' in memorium of the machine guns of old!" As a side note, it was really amazing that Jun was able to hide that turret for so long without anyone noticing it.

Once again, Dacci shat bricks.

B.U.R.E. looked at the massive weapon. "Okay, looks like you have everything handled. Good luck!"

Jun headed toward the small, now-opened gate that led to another teleporter. Before vanishing into thin air, he quickly yelled, "BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY!"

Not five minutes went by before he came back, with two new weapons being held in both hands, and the turret tied to his back somehow. "Nice haul, no?" He chucked an old-looking gun at Dacci. "Think fast!"

Surprised, Dacci kept fumbling the gun in the air before finally getting a proper grip on it. "Ack! W-what is this?!"

"If I'm not mistaken, that's a RIANOV 303SNR-5. This'll be useful for you, as you seem to be a coward. So, you get a gun that can pierce multiple people at once, if lined up properly.

"Erm... thanks, Doc."

"Now, Tinman! Your turn!" He hurled a red axe at B.U.R.E. "That's, quite simply, the Laconium Axe. Powerful as hell, but you can only fight one target at a time with it."

After catching it skillfully by the handle, and swinging it about, the robot replied, "This is pretty damn neat, if I do say so myself."

"And lastly, me! I found UNGODLY amounts of meseta. Like, a freakin' billion. So, since I need funding, I will gladly keep the money!" He pumped his fist into the air, singing the song, "I'm in the Money."

Dacci finally spoke up. "So... what do we do now?"

B.U.R.E. quickly replied in a tone similar to Brain, from the cartoon "Pinky and the Brain." "The same thing we do every night, Dacci... try to take over a syndicate!" With a quick motion of his Lavis Cannoc, he took the schizophrenic girl out with a sudden horizontal slash. "...You know, I'd have thought that they expected an attack of sorts at some point in time. I mean, they basically give us weapons!"



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ma_Navu on 2007-03-11 13:38 ]</font>

[Ma_Navu]

Chapter 14 -- "A Challenger Appears!!"

Swish! SPLURT~

"Oh dear Divine Light! How deep did you make this cut!?"

Swish! Ker-thump!

"For the love of-- MY ARM!"

Swish! Glooorrrp.

???

B.U.R.E. happened to be dealing a Black Paper member with his Lavis Cannoc (although, I've no clue how the "Glorp" sound was made). Luckily, the blade was made of photon, for if it wasn't, it would've been dulled by the excess amounts of blood he had spilled in the past hour or so. Out of the total of fifty members, forty-six were out of commission, also counting the two girls they dealt with before the killing spree and that sleeping guard in the front entrance.

"B--B.U.R.E., why do we need to do this? I mean, technically, they haven't done anything wrong..." Dacci said, wondering the what whole purpose of this grotesque massacre was.

"Why? They cut your ear off. And, after a long while of having the sort of life I had, I have a lot of pent up anger towards those who treat others in a cruel way," B.U.R.E. responded indifferently.

"But, you're doing the exact same thing to them! You're being cruel! Did you think it was necessary to cut that guy, sever his arm off, then... I don't know what you did to him after that, but still! Was that necessary?!"

B.U.R.E. paused for a moment, pondering this for a bit. "Sigh... you're right." He flipped the switch to his blade, turning it off. "I guess I shouldn't be torturing them at all."

A feeling of relief overcame the concerned youth, causing him to sigh as well.

"But!"

Worry returned.

"If we have to fight to escape, I won't hold back. I'm gonna survive this, whether you like it or not."

A voice with a thick Italian accent and an angered tone echoed from a good distance behind him. "HEY! YOU MALEDUCATO, FIGLIO DI PUTTANA!!"

"Ah, speak of the devil." He, along with Jun and Dacci turned to witness a short, built-like-a-tank human. The newcomer clutched the infamous Psycho Wand tight in his right hand. His attire was that of a professional, well-dressed hit man-- a pair of thick shades, slicked back hair, a suit, etc. The man was accompanied by the remaining three members of the syndicate.

To his right was a shy-looking young woman of small stature, who seemed out of place in a syndicate like this. She had a handgun in her hands, however, it was held low at an angle at which, if it was fired, would blast the ground. Her circular glasses were slipping down her face due to the fact that they were apparently a bit too big. She fixed this every time it fell by leaning her face into her shoulder, pushing the bifocals up. B.U.R.E. noticed that whenever this happened, Dacci's heart apparently skipped a beat. She was known as "Ira Divina." Not much else is known about her.

To the Italian man's left was a human in an antique knight's armor that had been restored to the point where it looks completely new. No part of his body was visible, except for his yellow eyes which peered through the vertical holes in his helmet. His sword, the most noticable thing about him, was a mammoth of a blade that he had lifted up by it's hilt; the blade was pointed downard, almost digging it's tip into the ground. It was longer than he was tall, and the blade itself was made out of a luminescent emerald. He was known as "Emerald Sword," which, if you think about it, seems like a last-minute name. Like Ira Divina, not much else is known about him.

A cast towered directly behind the leader like a shadow whose source of light was pointing upwards at a low elevation towards the foul-mouthed man. He had a ferocious figure and an intricately detailed scythe which was being held in such a manner in which the lower-portion of the shaft was being held up in his right hand, and the higher(but unbladed)-end was resting on his shoulder. The cast looked almost similar like the template HUcast of old, Kireek, but was too far a cry from the original figure to be considered the same robot. The only truly odd thing about him was the lit cigar he had dangling from the edge of his mouth, which further accentuated his badass--I mean, cruel image. He had three aliases: "the executioner of the syndicate," "Black Hound," and "Black Dragon." The last name was established by a rumor of his unexceeded tenacity in battle-- they say he brought death wherever he met life.

There they stood, staring each other down (and in Dacci's case, he was staring Ira down in a different way). B.U.R.E. leered at the two in the middle, and Jun... well, he had a smirk on his face, like usual, while taking a few more swigs of his booze.

The Italian man cursed some more. "Pezzo di merda! How dare you come in here and whack every single one of my men?! I swear to your whorish mother's grave, I'll get my revenge!!"

Jun quickly turned to B.U.R.E. "I-is it on!?"

"Is what on?"

"You know... 'it'!"

"Oh, you mean a fight. Yeah, I suppose so."

Jun's grin grew to the size of that of the Grinch's. "Wahoo~! IT'S ON!!" In a flash, he untied his weapon, took a hold of that titan of a turret of his, and, to finish up, removed the saftey on it (which, in it's entirety, was miniscule).

B.U.R.E. flicked the switch to his Cannoc, turning the blade back on.

"BLOOORCH~~!!"

B.U.R.E. turned back to Dacci, was was vomiting. "What happened, Da-- Oh yeah, I forgot. This makes people with weak constitutions barf. Why now, of all times, Dach? I thought you had a stronger constitution, as I had this on around you before!"

"BLEARGH... gasp... apparently, when people are in love, their constitutions become weak," he said with a light-hearted tone.

"Yeah, now I'm happy that Casts don't have stomachs." B.U.R.E. turned around to face his foes once again. "Anyhow, lets get this little shin-dig started!"

The sound of someone's laughter sounded like it was repressed.

"WHAT NOW, JUN!?"

Chuckling, he pointed out, "Who says 'shin-dig' anymore?! Bwahaha!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

[Ma_Navu]

Chapter 15 -- Frozen Heart

The "gang-war" began, as each of our heroes took on someone from the opposing side. Well, except for Black Paper. He was just watching the fights from the sidelines, rooting for his men. In short, he was a hairy, foul-mouthed cheerleader.

In terms of the fights, there were three seperate battles going on one after the other-- "B.U.R.E. Vs. Black Hound," "Jun Vs. Emerald Sword," and "Dacci Vs. Ira Divina."

Dacci's battle was first.

He was, put simply, screwed completely. Due to his "Love-At-First-Sight" complex, he did not fight back when Ira fired several rounds at him (however, he did somehow manage to dodge them).

The shy-looking girl barked, "C'mon! Fight like a man, you chickenshit!"

This quickly changed Dacci's impression of her. ...!! Aww, man... and I thought she was the one! How could someone so cute be such a bitch? It's not fair! All the good-looking ones are either taken or evil~! He readied his RIANOV as he sobbed quietly.

"Ugh, you fucking crybaby! Just die!" She fired her pistol at a rate that could easily challenge a machine-gun's.

Dacci scrambled before jumping behind a somewhat conveniantly placed boulder; as it acted as his shield, he poked his rifle out from the side and fired in her general direction, so that he wouldn't get hit by her assault. Dacci muttered to himself, "Damn... this doesn't look good. How the hell do I hit her?"

Every bullet that would have hit her was quickly deflected by a bullet of her own. Her accuracy and timing was astounding.

Then it hit him-- he remembered a part of Jun's explanation dealing with his new gun. "So, you get a gun that can pierce multiple people at once, if lined up properly." This forced him to change his strategy. He pulled his gun back into the protection the boulder gave before positioning himself in a way that made him aim his rifle directly at the boulder. With the movement of his finger, the trigger was pulled, blowing a hole through the boulder-- like the "Blow a Hole Through Your Shield" strategy in Space Invaders. And, as the strategy works in the game, it gave Dacci a clear shot at the fierce Ira, which in the end, he took after saying silently, "Sorry."

Dacci's bullet blew the gun out of her hands, along with a big chunck of meat from her hand. A glass-shattering scream echoed through the room, as Ira dropped to her knees and gripped her deformed left hand, holding it close to her chest-- anyone with nerves would do something similar to that if they were hurt badly enough.

Dacci stood up and walked out from his cover, toward Ira. He inhaled to say something.

SHUNK.

Before he could say anything, he noticed that Emerald Sword seemingly instantaneously appeared next to Ira... who just... slumped over to her side, her wailing silenced. A pool of blood formed beneath her. She died instantly from the man's seemingly hypersonic speed. "...Oh, dear Light!" He vomitted. That was too much for him to handle. Dacci staggered away from the "battle-field," before dropping down to his hands and knees, and expelled more stomach acid from his mouth.

The armor-clad warrior muttered to himself, but loudly enough for everyone to hear, "Sometimes, silence is deafening. However, your screaming is far more thunderous." With that, he stepped away from the crimson puddle and motioned to Jun. "Hopefully, you won't become as vexing as that wench. Now come, try your luck against me!" With that, he readied his emerald Zweihänder-like sword.

Jun, wide-eyed and scared shitless, guzzled down the rest of his booze and tossed the bottle to the side. ". . . Sonuva bitch."



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ma_Navu on 2007-03-11 18:26 ]</font>

[Ma_Navu]

Chapter 16 -- Intense Warfare

The battle had already begun. The swordsman was much more agile than he should be, as his armor was extraordinarily heavy. Every step he took caused a footprint to be permanently embedded into the cold, hard ground. He was on the offensive; his sword was as unbelievably fast as he. Every slash, every swipe, they all managed to make contact with Jun's flesh, albeit very lightly.

Jun, even with his massive turret, was able to barely dodge Emerald Sword's onslaught. However, this man's speed would not allow Jun to actually fight back-- his gun was far too heavy to permit him to do so.

Emerald Sword, after lunging his Zweihänder at Jun a few more times, lept into the air, preparing to cut the unlucky bastard in half.

Jun, however, was a great opportunist. In the brief second Emerald Sword was in the air, Jun hurled himself forward, forcing him to roll on his shoulder. This ended up leaving him in a perfect position to fire his weapon. As soon as the knight landed and turned, Jun smirked.

"Rata-fucking-tat, bitch!"

He unleashed a volley of Jacketed Hollow Point bullets into the iron-clad man. Nothing could be heard due to the deafening sound of the bullet-fire. Jun eased up on the trigger after about fifteen seconds--he hoped to demolish Emerald Sword with that attack. As the smoke cleared, however, Jun almost let out a horrified cry.

The knight was still standing. No damage to the armor. No damage to the sword. Nothing.

Emerald's golden eyes shone through his helmet in a demonic way. "Another peon who likes to shatter eardrums? For this, you die."

As soon as that was stated, Jun rubbed his eyes--not because he had something in his eye, but because Jun thought he, himself, was going crazy. He saw the knight... disappear. Startled, he got up from off of the ground and made a mad dash for any seemingly safe area.

However, as he turned to see if the man was chasing him he tripped over Ira's corpse... and his neck landed directly into the open palm of Emerald. He thought, How did this guy vanish and reappear? Is he a fucking ghost?! The knight instantly clutched the inventor's throat and lifted him up into the air. Jun's feet couldn't even reach the ground.

He stated in a grim tone, "I'm going to cherish choking every inch of life out of you, you peon." Jun attempted to speak, but his voice was weak--the air could barely escape his lips. Emerald loosened his grip for some reason. "What are your last words, peon?"

"Gasp... my last words are..."

He took a few more deep breaths. Inhaling, exhaling, attempting to recuperate.

"SUPRISE, COCKFACE!!" Jun lifted his turret with the rest of is strength, aiming it directly at the eyeholes in Emerald's helmet. The trigger was pulled once more.

BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM, BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM, BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM!

The bullets passed through the holes, piercing his skull. As twenty-eight bullets exited the flesh and bone, they ricocheted off of the helmet, reentering his brain. Death was as instant as Ira's. The corpse's grip on Jun loosened completely before he landed on his ass, and "cradled" his neck with his right hand, breathing hard. Jun looked hard at the corpse as it fell backwards with blood spewing down from the helmet.

Holy fuck... look at all the blood! What the hell did I do?! Like Dacci, this kind of warfare was too intense for him. Shaken, he slowly got up and walked toward his young partner, who was still trying to regain his bearings.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ma_Navu on 2007-03-11 20:38 ]</font>

[Ma_Navu]

Chapter 17 -- Cruel Cigar

The clash between the Casts was next. Both warriors made their way into the center of the room, weapons ready to cut through their foe's artificial heart.

The executioner puffed rings of smoke from his mouth as the controlled flame burned ever so slowly on his cigar. "Heh... looks like your partners are pretty damn good." He inhaled smoke deep into his lungs. "Let's just hope that you're better! If not, you're pretty much fucked." He shifted the position of his cigar before pulling his scythe back, preparing to strike down his Cast brethren.

B.U.R.E. held his Laconium Axe in his left hand and his Lavis Cannoc in his right, both held like a Cast using a Sange & Yasha from PSO. He stated with a grin on his artificial face, "Is that so? Well, I'm used to being 'pretty much fucked,' so that kinda gives me an advantage, don't you think?"

As he ended his rhetorical question, both fighters understood the end to be a tacit start of the fight. At once, they charged at eachother, each taking a step simultaneously. B.U.R.E. raised his right hand, and forced his blade downwards, as the Black Hound swung his reaper-like scythe in the opposite direction, blocking it completely. However, the impact wasn't enough to seperate the weapons, as their brute force wouldn't allow the tools of death to give in until they overpowered their adversary.

Our hero took advantage of his second deadly instrument by swinging it in the same fashion as his previous strike, in effect, doubling his strength. By doing so, he was able to push back the mauve mechanical man, who struggled to repel the two weapons.

The Black Dragon, however, smiled. "Damn, your strong... Let's see if you can keep it up!" By finishing the sentence, it seemed as though it initiated his next action-- firing the cigar from his mouth in such a way that the burning ash made it's way to B.U.R.E.'s artificial eye, in turn melting it shut.

"GRAUGH! YOU BASTARD!!" B.U.R.E. let up his assault to tend to his busted eye by shaking his head vigorously until it flew out. Being the addict that he was, the executioner managed to catch the proper end of the rolled tobacco with his teeth as it flew through the air, before overpowering and pushing away the silver 'bot, and swiping at him. A deep wound was inflicted on B.U.R.E.'s left arm; the blow lopped it off completely, forcing him to drop his axe. "FUCK! Fuckfuckfuckfuck, fuck!!

The Black Hound laughed maniacally. "Hah! Still think you have the advantage now?! Go die like the poor fuck you are!" He ran behind B.U.R.E. who was still recuperating from the devastating blow, viciously grabbed him by the back of his head, and, by positioning the scythe quickly, yet carefully, slashed B.U.R.E.'s face horizontally. A large gash was left in the general area of his eyes, thus cutting off his vision all together. The Black Hound did not let up-- the blade kept moving after destroying B.U.R.E.'s vision, ending up lodged in the dead center of his back. B.U.R.E. dropped his Cannoc.

"Ready to die yet, you poor fuck? C'mon, I'll let you have a moment to pray to that bitch you call the Divine Light!"

As if unphased by the purple robot, B.U.R.E. smirked before uttering, "Ya know, I'm really getting sick and tired of dealing with assholes like you. Go fornicate yourself with a golf club!" In a swift movement, he reached back with his only arm and mimicked his foe, clutching his cranium. But unlike the executioner, he slammed the Black Hound's head into the ground in front of him after bringing his skull forward.

Still gripping The Black Dragon's head, he said in a monotonous tone, "Put out that goddamned cigar. You're giving the humans cancer, you inconsiderate prick."

[Ma_Navu]

Chapter 18 -- Execution & Irony **FINAL CHAPTER**

The silver robot was practically a brutal zombie, dragging his prey while sparks shot from his excessive, exigent wounds. His grip was unnatural--the more his prey struggled, the more energy it lost in the process without helping it's cause. Without a moment's notice, he slammed his victim's metallic cranium onto a nearby wall.

BAM.

A massive dent was left in his taget's forehead. He repeated this action in a rythmic fashion, like a computer stuck in the infinite loop, "10 x = x + 1, 20 Print x, 30 GoTo 10."

BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM.

After the last blow, he left his foe's face on the wall without pulling it back. Instead of continuing the use of physical force to bust the executioner's head in, he took it a step further. B.U.R.E. mashed the Black Hound's head deeper into the rough, jagged rocky wall before continuing to drag his prey further.

"GRAAAAAAAAGH!! FUCKING STOP!! FUCKING STOP!!" The purple android's pained voice echoed across the entire room, churning every human in the room's stomach. His own head was being grated to bits, as his face was being torn apart while electricity flared where he had been skidded.

Soon, the dragging had ceased. B.U.R.E. dropped his foe. All that was left was a fragment of the head. The rest was smeared against the wall or scattered on the ground like useless spare-parts. He turned to the last member of the syndicate, his broken eyes staring as if he could see every sin of Black Paper.

"V-VENNI STRADA! MOSTRO!!" The Italian boss attempted to flee.

B.U.R.E. instinctively grabbed the handle of the scythe still embedded in his back and pulled it out, causing a new set of sparks to begin flying from his mangled body. He hurled the scythe at his new victim, like a circus performer throwing knives at his partner, trying not to hit them. Except, B.U.R.E. was aiming at his "partner."

SSHK.

The sharp arc punctured Black Paper's back, as it did B.U.R.E. previously. His spine was split in two. He died just like most of his henchmen: scared, useless, and instantly.


Our heroes staggered their way back to Jun's abode, bleeding, blowing fuses, and vomitting.

Being the improvising doctor that Jun was, he was able to fix his and Dacci's minor wounds, and fix B.U.R.E.'s ragged body, replacing all the broken parts, like his arm, back, face, and of course, certain mechanisms that allowed him to run properly.

Talking amongst eachother for days, they managed to take their mind off of the murder of fourty-nine people. Remember, that first guard was never killed.

A couple of weeks later as the friends yammered about random things, Dacci noticed something, sending him into a state of shock before asking B.U.R.E., "Uhm... sir? I--I just thought something."

"Yeah? What is it, Dach?" B.U.R.E. said with his new artificial mouth.

"Well... was that whole purpose of that Black Paper ordeal? What'd we accomplish?"

B.U.R.E. shouted at the top of his lungs upon realisation that this whole mission was a complete waste. "MOTHERFUCKING DIVINE LIGHT, DAMMIT!!"
-------------------------------

Didn't I tell you that it'd be ironic? Muaha~~

[McLaughlin]

XD

Great fic, man.