Kuea
Mar 8, 2007, 10:27 PM
So... where is the fucking mountain of rewards I am owed?
well I seem to have alot of shit goign on recently and I really need to just get it off my chest. Nothing I do lately seems to go right. Theres a bit for me to sort through right here so lets hope I don't end up confusing myself or completly forgetting somethign as I usually do.
let's see... let's start with somethign relevant to the topic name. now an easy way you could define me would be this, Doormat. I am nice, I am friendly, I am quiet, and above all, I help people. to be honest, I put little value on myself and end up doign my best to at least ty and make other people happy.
I have recently gotten a job so I've been makign some moeny. now I don't really have bills to pay, so I'm basicaly just saving up and buying stuff that I've been wanting. Recently I just blew an entire weeks pay on a Wii, I am happy for that. but sure, I shoudl be helpign out with bills or food or whatnot at home since my grandmother left and we now have to pay rent on our own, right? Well I do.
In fact I buy the food for my family and you know what? No one eats it. I stock the shelves with food for family, and then I get myself some food to eat at work, guess what they eat. My food, the food I buy for work. <_< okay whatever, I'll just stop buyign food for work early, and buy it at my 2am break.
so I do that, and guess what? my mother starts complaining about being hungry and that there is nothign to eat. at a time when there si an entire case of kraft dinner downstairs to easily cook. >_> so she know doesn't eat because I buy the food, she says she doesn't want to eat all my food on me.
so let me get this straight... you won't eat the food I bought for you because you don't want to eat my food... yet you will gladly eat teh food I buy myself for work? :/
Besides the food I buy my mother seems to not get paid much money anymore, and what moeny she does get paid... she's soo fuckign bad with, she may as well not get any. now this is somethign that happened I don't know how logn ago, less then a month at least. now my mother got paid I think it was... 350? now my sister needed like... 200 for rent and stuff so she reminded mom not to spend too much, they both go seperate way for a day or two. a bit later sister has me check my mothers account, it had like 160 left, sister was furious and got into big fight with mother. >_> she could have then gotten the last 160 out for bills, btu no, she decided to wait till the day after. so day after comes aorund, mom gets hoem from work and sister wnts money, so I check bank. 80 bucks left. sister blows her top and an even bigger fight happens >_> so in the end my siste rhad to cover most of my moms share of the rent.
so whatever, she had to spend mroe money and was pissed about it. but wait, the rent is paid, what abotu the power bill? well guess who had to cover that bill. Me. I think it was... $420ish bucks >_> so I pay teh entire thign off, and I'm broke.
now earlier today my mother came into my room and started askign me for candy. I believe the conversation went like this
Her: Do you have any hard candy for me to eat? I haven't had any peckermints in long time [/innocent baby voice] ( and yes, she actually says pecker mints )
Me: No. you know I odn't ever have any
Her: Oh... I sure woudl liek some... the green ones I always have
Me: well tough, I don't have any, and you get paid tommorow anyway.
her: *gets mad* you are so cheap. god why do you have to be so stingy? *starts walkgin otu of room still talkign* look at everythign I bought for you!
now see, she is too fuckign impatient. even if I wanted to buy her some mints, I couldn't. I have a nifty limit on my bank as to how much I can spend in a day. and today, I have already reached the limit. I have no money available to use.
now if I use this excuse to her or my sisters face, they get mad at me and say "well you do have money, it's in yoru bank account!"
the reason they say this, is because everytime they whine about havign no money, I point out that they do infact have money, and it is in their bank. they just say they have none because they are too lazy to get any out, or just too lazy to go to store. now see, they don't have any nifty liit to hwo much they can spend. I do. so if they say that to me, it doesn't work because I may have moeny, but no access to it.
Now lets go back a bit to where my mom wa sin my room, this is something that pisses me off greatly.
Look at everythign I bought for you!
this is somethign one person should NEVER say when wantign money. now most of the stuff my mother has gotten me lately has been things I have not asked for. pants, which I think ar eugly, and the sort. she bought them of her own will.
let's look at anotehr example, a whiel back my sister had a boyfriend. he needed a bit of cash for abill, so she lent it to him. so in the end, she needed some cash and asked him for it back since it was only borrowed. now did he give it back? no. he said he paid it back through all their dates.
I took you to a concert didn't I?
NEVER. EVER. fuckgin say somethign like this in a situation where it means that you paid them back like that. it is fuckgin stupid.
now that I seem to have side tracked enough on that... on to the next thing. Work.
I have tried to not rant about my job as many people would just find it annoying, but oh well.
My job isn't bad. it's not an extremly stressful to do job and it's pretty easy going. alot of the time it isn't that bad, but for the rest of the time, its shit.
there is so much for me to rant about from work it isn't funny. No matter what i do there, nothing seems to be good enough. I can fuckgin face THE two hardest aisles in the store faster then it takes 2 people to do 2 easy aisles together, and I'm still not fuckgin fast enough. ( facing by the way, is to bring the product on the shelf forward to fill in gaps and make the shelves appear to be full )
I can face it 100% perfect, then someone else will come into the aisle lookgin for somethign to do, fiddle with the tuff and end up ruining it, there by making me look like I did a bad job.
I can do the cardboard and make a bail as fast as I fuckgin can, but I still get told I'm the slowest at it.
it doesnt' matter if I run into some troubles with whatever I do, I can find a fuckgin moldy shelf, have to clean it, have to sort through the product on the shelf to see what we can keep or not, and still be expected to be as fast as if there was no mold.
I get insulted and made fun of daily there. the biggest thign to do is to say I'm slow as shit for bailign, because the very first time I ever did a bail, I had to listen to two differant people explain it, so I have to stop doign it and listen :/ try to start doign it again, but have the other person come up and explain it... again! so no shit it's gonne be more then twice a slogn as a normal bail shoudl take.
what makes it worse is that when one person who hates doign the bails takes his sweet ass tiem on purpose, you knwo what the boss dude says? he says that he was almost as slow as me.
Or how about the time a ne wguy got hired who had worked nigth sbefore, and everyone was comign up to me and tellgin me that he is so much better then me.
how about... No? Fuck no. I watched him work, and he was fuckign slower then a brick fallign up :/ I am seriously a fast worker. most people get one aisle to work in now, me? I get 3. and in the time IO finish those 3 aisles, guess how many people are done theirs? MAYBE 1. if the order was small... then prolly all of them.
so yeah, work is fun. how about my friends? What friends. I am having just about as bad luck with friends as I am the rest of my life. lately what I've been noticing is that alot of peopel I thought were friends, aren't.
I've gotten blocked on various internet stuff by 6 would be friends for very fuckgin stupid reasons. wanna know some? well let's see... how about because I had to go to work? or how about because I wouldnt' let them use my PSU account?
and yes, spare me the "it the internet!" speech. no shit it's the internet, it's still real though. not just soem figmint of my imagination.
What abotu real life friends? to be honest, I just don't know. I know one single person who I still consider to be a friend. I don't know if he really considers me one or not, I honestly don't know. I've never been able to tell actually. I've barely been able to even tell the differance between a joke and an actual insult. most people who I know who I had considered friends, have all ended up hatign me. why? I have no clue.
In fact I've actually gotten bored of my life. of the people on the internet who blocked me, 2 of them I talked to often, and now that I am blocked, I have actually found myself with next to nothign to do. all I have left is video games :/
to be frank with myself, I know my life is a shithole. I honestly have no clue what I can even do with my life. my schoolign is shitty and full of holes, my skills... hah what fuckgin skills? I get depressed trying to figure what I can even do with my life... there is as of yet, next to nothign for it.
so... friends, teh suck. school, teh suck. family, teh suck. work, teh suck. me, well, let's talk about that now why don't we?
just a few lines up of this I said I have no skills. basically that's true. however I actually do have one good thing for me. Patience. that is abotu all I have goign for me. I have been asked by many people I know many times abotu differant otehr people I know, "how can you stand them?" and all I can say is that I'm patient. >_> I can deal with people who for the most part, don't have too many friends because no one can stand them.
so if I talk to this one person alot, they end up being an idiot, I laugh and it goes past, I know one prson I talk to, they always ask how I can talk to them. as I said earlier, I'm a doormat.
another thing that I touched on shortly ago, Money.
one thing that pisses me off beyond all else. is being told I have no sense at all for moeny. my sense of money is slack, but I still have more fuckgin sense for moeny then anyoen else in my family, and probably this town.
I've had to fuckgin handle alot of money matters for my family for years now. >_> and when they just go and say that I have no sense of money and start insulting me about that... it just pisses me off beyond all else.
so seriously, I try to be nice, I try to help, why is it nothign ever goes rigth for me? I swear that whoever is in control of my life is taunting me. things will start to look up finally, then plummet back down.
I seriously try not to complain or talk alot about it, but I seem to have trouble with that lately :/
... ya know, I don't even know where I'm goign with this rant anymore... so I applaud anyone who actually bothered to read it all as well.
well I seem to have alot of shit goign on recently and I really need to just get it off my chest. Nothing I do lately seems to go right. Theres a bit for me to sort through right here so lets hope I don't end up confusing myself or completly forgetting somethign as I usually do.
let's see... let's start with somethign relevant to the topic name. now an easy way you could define me would be this, Doormat. I am nice, I am friendly, I am quiet, and above all, I help people. to be honest, I put little value on myself and end up doign my best to at least ty and make other people happy.
I have recently gotten a job so I've been makign some moeny. now I don't really have bills to pay, so I'm basicaly just saving up and buying stuff that I've been wanting. Recently I just blew an entire weeks pay on a Wii, I am happy for that. but sure, I shoudl be helpign out with bills or food or whatnot at home since my grandmother left and we now have to pay rent on our own, right? Well I do.
In fact I buy the food for my family and you know what? No one eats it. I stock the shelves with food for family, and then I get myself some food to eat at work, guess what they eat. My food, the food I buy for work. <_< okay whatever, I'll just stop buyign food for work early, and buy it at my 2am break.
so I do that, and guess what? my mother starts complaining about being hungry and that there is nothign to eat. at a time when there si an entire case of kraft dinner downstairs to easily cook. >_> so she know doesn't eat because I buy the food, she says she doesn't want to eat all my food on me.
so let me get this straight... you won't eat the food I bought for you because you don't want to eat my food... yet you will gladly eat teh food I buy myself for work? :/
Besides the food I buy my mother seems to not get paid much money anymore, and what moeny she does get paid... she's soo fuckign bad with, she may as well not get any. now this is somethign that happened I don't know how logn ago, less then a month at least. now my mother got paid I think it was... 350? now my sister needed like... 200 for rent and stuff so she reminded mom not to spend too much, they both go seperate way for a day or two. a bit later sister has me check my mothers account, it had like 160 left, sister was furious and got into big fight with mother. >_> she could have then gotten the last 160 out for bills, btu no, she decided to wait till the day after. so day after comes aorund, mom gets hoem from work and sister wnts money, so I check bank. 80 bucks left. sister blows her top and an even bigger fight happens >_> so in the end my siste rhad to cover most of my moms share of the rent.
so whatever, she had to spend mroe money and was pissed about it. but wait, the rent is paid, what abotu the power bill? well guess who had to cover that bill. Me. I think it was... $420ish bucks >_> so I pay teh entire thign off, and I'm broke.
now earlier today my mother came into my room and started askign me for candy. I believe the conversation went like this
Her: Do you have any hard candy for me to eat? I haven't had any peckermints in long time [/innocent baby voice] ( and yes, she actually says pecker mints )
Me: No. you know I odn't ever have any
Her: Oh... I sure woudl liek some... the green ones I always have
Me: well tough, I don't have any, and you get paid tommorow anyway.
her: *gets mad* you are so cheap. god why do you have to be so stingy? *starts walkgin otu of room still talkign* look at everythign I bought for you!
now see, she is too fuckign impatient. even if I wanted to buy her some mints, I couldn't. I have a nifty limit on my bank as to how much I can spend in a day. and today, I have already reached the limit. I have no money available to use.
now if I use this excuse to her or my sisters face, they get mad at me and say "well you do have money, it's in yoru bank account!"
the reason they say this, is because everytime they whine about havign no money, I point out that they do infact have money, and it is in their bank. they just say they have none because they are too lazy to get any out, or just too lazy to go to store. now see, they don't have any nifty liit to hwo much they can spend. I do. so if they say that to me, it doesn't work because I may have moeny, but no access to it.
Now lets go back a bit to where my mom wa sin my room, this is something that pisses me off greatly.
Look at everythign I bought for you!
this is somethign one person should NEVER say when wantign money. now most of the stuff my mother has gotten me lately has been things I have not asked for. pants, which I think ar eugly, and the sort. she bought them of her own will.
let's look at anotehr example, a whiel back my sister had a boyfriend. he needed a bit of cash for abill, so she lent it to him. so in the end, she needed some cash and asked him for it back since it was only borrowed. now did he give it back? no. he said he paid it back through all their dates.
I took you to a concert didn't I?
NEVER. EVER. fuckgin say somethign like this in a situation where it means that you paid them back like that. it is fuckgin stupid.
now that I seem to have side tracked enough on that... on to the next thing. Work.
I have tried to not rant about my job as many people would just find it annoying, but oh well.
My job isn't bad. it's not an extremly stressful to do job and it's pretty easy going. alot of the time it isn't that bad, but for the rest of the time, its shit.
there is so much for me to rant about from work it isn't funny. No matter what i do there, nothing seems to be good enough. I can fuckgin face THE two hardest aisles in the store faster then it takes 2 people to do 2 easy aisles together, and I'm still not fuckgin fast enough. ( facing by the way, is to bring the product on the shelf forward to fill in gaps and make the shelves appear to be full )
I can face it 100% perfect, then someone else will come into the aisle lookgin for somethign to do, fiddle with the tuff and end up ruining it, there by making me look like I did a bad job.
I can do the cardboard and make a bail as fast as I fuckgin can, but I still get told I'm the slowest at it.
it doesnt' matter if I run into some troubles with whatever I do, I can find a fuckgin moldy shelf, have to clean it, have to sort through the product on the shelf to see what we can keep or not, and still be expected to be as fast as if there was no mold.
I get insulted and made fun of daily there. the biggest thign to do is to say I'm slow as shit for bailign, because the very first time I ever did a bail, I had to listen to two differant people explain it, so I have to stop doign it and listen :/ try to start doign it again, but have the other person come up and explain it... again! so no shit it's gonne be more then twice a slogn as a normal bail shoudl take.
what makes it worse is that when one person who hates doign the bails takes his sweet ass tiem on purpose, you knwo what the boss dude says? he says that he was almost as slow as me.
Or how about the time a ne wguy got hired who had worked nigth sbefore, and everyone was comign up to me and tellgin me that he is so much better then me.
how about... No? Fuck no. I watched him work, and he was fuckign slower then a brick fallign up :/ I am seriously a fast worker. most people get one aisle to work in now, me? I get 3. and in the time IO finish those 3 aisles, guess how many people are done theirs? MAYBE 1. if the order was small... then prolly all of them.
so yeah, work is fun. how about my friends? What friends. I am having just about as bad luck with friends as I am the rest of my life. lately what I've been noticing is that alot of peopel I thought were friends, aren't.
I've gotten blocked on various internet stuff by 6 would be friends for very fuckgin stupid reasons. wanna know some? well let's see... how about because I had to go to work? or how about because I wouldnt' let them use my PSU account?
and yes, spare me the "it the internet!" speech. no shit it's the internet, it's still real though. not just soem figmint of my imagination.
What abotu real life friends? to be honest, I just don't know. I know one single person who I still consider to be a friend. I don't know if he really considers me one or not, I honestly don't know. I've never been able to tell actually. I've barely been able to even tell the differance between a joke and an actual insult. most people who I know who I had considered friends, have all ended up hatign me. why? I have no clue.
In fact I've actually gotten bored of my life. of the people on the internet who blocked me, 2 of them I talked to often, and now that I am blocked, I have actually found myself with next to nothign to do. all I have left is video games :/
to be frank with myself, I know my life is a shithole. I honestly have no clue what I can even do with my life. my schoolign is shitty and full of holes, my skills... hah what fuckgin skills? I get depressed trying to figure what I can even do with my life... there is as of yet, next to nothign for it.
so... friends, teh suck. school, teh suck. family, teh suck. work, teh suck. me, well, let's talk about that now why don't we?
just a few lines up of this I said I have no skills. basically that's true. however I actually do have one good thing for me. Patience. that is abotu all I have goign for me. I have been asked by many people I know many times abotu differant otehr people I know, "how can you stand them?" and all I can say is that I'm patient. >_> I can deal with people who for the most part, don't have too many friends because no one can stand them.
so if I talk to this one person alot, they end up being an idiot, I laugh and it goes past, I know one prson I talk to, they always ask how I can talk to them. as I said earlier, I'm a doormat.
another thing that I touched on shortly ago, Money.
one thing that pisses me off beyond all else. is being told I have no sense at all for moeny. my sense of money is slack, but I still have more fuckgin sense for moeny then anyoen else in my family, and probably this town.
I've had to fuckgin handle alot of money matters for my family for years now. >_> and when they just go and say that I have no sense of money and start insulting me about that... it just pisses me off beyond all else.
so seriously, I try to be nice, I try to help, why is it nothign ever goes rigth for me? I swear that whoever is in control of my life is taunting me. things will start to look up finally, then plummet back down.
I seriously try not to complain or talk alot about it, but I seem to have trouble with that lately :/
... ya know, I don't even know where I'm goign with this rant anymore... so I applaud anyone who actually bothered to read it all as well.