Just need to blow a little steam =_=

[Skuda]

I'm not going to go in detail, but getting stabbed in the back by someone you care for really is a bitch. You do nothing wrong, then all of a sudden you get the "your life is now fucked".

I'm really emotionally torn right now because what happened. It's really hard to get off my mind, and I don't think it'll go away for a long time. I hope things settle someday.. but it's almost like a daily struggle for me right now. I'm filled with hurt, sadness, rage, bitterness... This garbage what has been filling the void in my heart where love used to be.

My friends have noticed how "off" I've been lately. I don't think there's any other way to put it. I'm very "off". My whole line of thinking is just out the window.I'm really thankful for my friends though. They've stuck with me through this whole thing, and are really showing their true colours.

Physically, I am doing quite well. I just finished post secondary, I just got a new house, I just got a new job. Things are starting to look up... Sadly, not in the ways I really cared for. I would have given all that up. All my health, all my riches, just to have had this event never transpire...

Even though I'm physically well... it's still really hard to bypass all the shit that is running amuk in my head. I'm actually scared about how this is turning out. I've been filled with rage and bitterness more than anything lately. I really don't want things to be like that.

I got really bitter and angry about an incident long ago, and ended up losing a good friend over it. I felt I was in the right at the time, but looking back on it, I feel that I was a angrier than I really needed to be.

So yeah, Skuda is really fucked up right now. I haven't been able to get the joys out of life I once used to. I don't think I'm really depressed.. just royally screwed in the head. I'm tired, and worn, and feel really alone, dispite my friends and family being very supportive of me. Yeah.. I'm feeling really fucked up, and really alone. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif

Just so you guys know, I'm not really looking for advice here. I have to take things at my own pace, my own way. I also know that Abdur will say something either inspiring or profound. Both of which I welcome, because you can't beat the ol' Abdur wisdom.

Time for bed. Life has been busy for me. I haven't had much time for recouperating, and things only seem to get worse when I'm left alone to my thoughts.

Hope this semi-explains my lack of presence here lately. I'd like to work a little more for PSOW... but I really haven't had much heart for it.

cheers,
Skuda



P.S. If anyone says anything about being emo.. so help me.. <_<

I've gotten that a lot, jokingly of course. It still pisses me right the hell off though.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Skuda on 2007-08-02 03:22 ]</font>

[Dj_SkyEpic]

I know how it feels for when you've lost your world.
I'm sort of in the same hole as you are with a different story twist. I've had the same thoughts about regretting the things I've done in the past towards friends who I've lost so simply...

The only thing best to do is to look forward and try to keep on with things. Find a way to support yourself mentally and physically. An activity, hobby, etc. Anything to keep these things that are bothering you suppressed and away.

It's impact is hardest in the beginning and will slowly dwindle to something you can overcome in the near future.

Don't have much to say but try your best to move on.

[Mystil]

I don't know what the details are and it's better that you don't go through the motions again anyway, but I can relate to being stabbed big time by a love one. Just take one day at a time. Good people are not appreciated until they are no longer there and soon enough this person is going to realize they stabbed thier own self in the back.

[SabZero]

It's ok to fall apart. For a while. Think how caterpillars go to be butterflies, they turn to mush inside a cocoon first. Sometimes, others just don't do/be/say what we'd like.

[Sayara]

This person is a whoreibble person. And does not deserve any sort of time to you. If this is how they are going to treat you after what you did for them then they don't deserve the worst of fates.

As for you my friend; take some time down, let whatever burns you to burn out and fizzle. And remember that you are in great shape (otherwise) with how old you are in your life. Don't let such one event destroy you because there are more to life then just moping your life.

Keep it real dood.
Im on that guilty emo caller party; I am sorry.

[ABDUR101]

I think I'll pm you with my reply; that way you can ponder the road I've traveled and gleam whatever you can from it.

[DikkyRay]

Im really Sorry Skuda. Losing friends is really tough.
Good luck man. You will hopefully move on real soon.

[Sord]

herm. skuda is being e- *gets mobbed my skuda artist lovers* mermph mmmphm mmm!!! http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif yeah, getting called emo is actually pretty annoying, but I'll move on from that now since my joke is made. Then again, haven't seen much new art aside from 3D stuff.... more artwork!!!

so anyways, kinda hard to say anything given the lack of info. Guess that's cause you're just venting and not actually looking for advice. Best I can say is don't get mad/sad at yourself to much for getting overly upset. That's human nature. If you can, try and figure out where things just went wrong and try to mend it.

[navci]

Not worth your time and anger.
Whatever doesn't kill you make you stronger right? No pain, no gain.
The new Kuda would be a wiser person. :>

[Para]

No wonder I don't see you online on PSU anymore...

I feel for you Skuda... I'm sorry that things didn't work out so well...

[Wyndham]

I'm sorry, Kuda. If you need to talk, just PM me, or see if im on AIM. I'm not good with emails and PMs, though. I havent been doing so well either. i wont bother you with details.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Everything is gonna have to happen for a reason in terms of all those positives you experienced recently, one negative, even major and pretty big of an event is probably there to balance it all out.

Best of luck there my profile's second half/mirrored Super clone.

[Lone_Wolf_Nasca]

Hmm, I find myself struggling for words of advice that might cheer you up =/, me being absent since forever does not help any either and I dare not ask what is going on.

Only thing I can offer you is my support, and open ears and mind if you ever wish to talk about it with me, or ask for advice on the matter. I might not be as wise or profound as Abdur, but life HAS taken a few swings at me and knocked me down on my ass, everyone falls,and whoever says the opposite, well, has been really lucky. >.>;;

Fall, fall twice, fifty times or even a hundred times, but ALWAYS get back up.I have done and I believe you can too http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif.

Remember friends are there to give you a hand when you fall down.

*Offers a hand*

Get well soon Scott.

[SStrikerR]

thats sucks skuda, and good luck coming over it, and seriously, stay away from rope or knives, id really hate to see somewhere here that skuda died. that would be fucked up.

anyways, good luck in the future.

[DreXxiN]

As you get fucked over more and more with each day in life, eventually your body builds up a tolerance, and eventually your emotions just become numb. Take me for example, I don't really feel anything anymore (not a good thing, but at least it doesn't hurt quite as much).

Other than that, take care, good luck, and remember you grow off of it. Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.