Would you socialize with a co worker that...

[eXo]

Was busted on Dateline NBC : To catch a predator?A Rl friend of mine has come across yhis situation IRL. Apparently some guy who has been with the company that he works for was busted and aired on T.V everything.
However he hs been with that company for roughly 20 years so instead of terminating him they simply relocated him to another state&city however this has followed him. Would you accept this guy or hold his past against him?

[Monochrome]

Well the simple, easy answer is heck no, don't socialize and heck yes label him a pervert forever... but he is also human and fallible like everyone else. I dunno, at first I thought that show was doing a service, now I tend to think they are destroying really lonely misfit people that possibly would never do this in real life, except that they have a pretend-super-willing-"underage"-person pretending to really really want them bad. This fulfills their darkest fantasies that they might never have tried to carry out in real life. Of course some of them are just total perverts that would do any dastardly thing they could to anyone of any age (or gender). I dunno. Case by case basis...

There has to be some kind of rehabilitation for people...you can't just keep posting sex-predator warnings in the neighborhood and shunning people from society. Lock them up or rehabilitate...

[Powder Keg]

I'd personally prefer not to, but I wouldn't let that get in the way of this quote:

"Sometimes, it may be necessary to cooperate with people you may not like. If you can't realize this, only death awaits you."

Not to that much of an extreme, but you get the point.

[Skuda]

There's no reason not to be civil to them. I would just prefer not to associate with said person in a personal environment.

[Cz]

gonna be hard for him, but then, he shouldnt have committed such crime in the first place if he knows that it will be wrong.

First impression is like last impression and that is all i am gonna say.

[ABDUR101]

When it comes to the workplace, you keep your personal views at the door. I think so long as everyone does that, there should'nt be a problem. You're there to make a living, and so is that guy; there's no need to not be able to work with them and be civil.

Everyone has dark parts to their person that never gets brought to the light, we all have dark and dirty secrets that we'd never want someone else to know, and we have parts of ourselves that we might not like, but beckon us to indulge. It's an internal struggle, its a vice. Some aren't so bad and some could be considered in some societies to be atrocious; but make no mistake there are people who fight them and try to get by without giving in to their temptations, and there are those who are true predators.

Mankind still feels the need to villify people unnecessarily, we all like the show of it. It's no different than the Colliseum, one group are labeled as such so the crowd can dispise them without ever really knowing them, and when they get crucified everyone cheers that it was a good day and justice was done; except now we have it televised.

I personally found that show despicable, it was basically entrapment, you don't dangle a peice of meat infront of a dog and expect him to merely walk away when it's right there and more or less pleading for him to take a bite. There aren't many people who would turn down an open invitation like that, thats like setting an addict in a meth lab and expecting him NOT to swipe some of the junk.

[SabZero]

I don't socailize with co-workers.

Worlds would collide http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

EDIT: I did read your post, and concerning a convicted/proven child molester/pedophile, I would avoid them like the pest.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: SabZero on 2008-01-26 12:37 ]</font>

[6string4play]

On 2008-01-26 08:19, ABDUR101 wrote:
When it comes to the workplace, you keep your personal views at the door. I think so long as everyone does that, there should'nt be a problem. You're there to make a living, and so is that guy; there's no need to not be able to work with them and be civil.

Everyone has dark parts to their person that never gets brought to the light, we all have dark and dirty secrets that we'd never want someone else to know, and we have parts of ourselves that we might not like, but beckon us to indulge. It's an internal struggle, its a vice. Some aren't so bad and some could be considered in some societies to be atrocious; but make no mistake there are people who fight them and try to get by without giving in to their temptations, and there are those who are true predators.

Mankind still feels the need to villify people unnecessarily, we all like the show of it. It's no different than the Colliseum, one group are labeled as such so the crowd can dispise them without ever really knowing them, and when they get crucified everyone cheers that it was a good day and justice was done; except now we have it televised.

I personally found that show despicable, it was basically entrapment, you don't dangle a peice of meat infront of a dog and expect him to merely walk away when it's right there and more or less pleading for him to take a bite. There aren't many people who would turn down an open invitation like that, thats like setting an addict in a meth lab and expecting him NOT to swipe some of the junk.

No. If the show can emulate and trick people into into believing they are underage minors, and they take the bait, then the chances of the worst case scenario with an actual child actually playing out is just as likely.

[Scrub]

If I got some message from a 16 year old broad that she wanted to take a ride on the Scrub Express(NOT THAT THEY DONT RIGHT NOW), I'm pretty damn sure I'd get snared in the trap, too.

And you're all fucking liars yourselves if you disagree.

In any case, I'd probably not want to be friends with the guy, but I wouldnt avoid him like the plague. Like Abdur said, everybody's fucked up in someway(I know I am!), and this guy just got caught. Really, I dont give a damn WHAT two people have CONSENSUAL sex, it's when rape comes into the play that I start labelling people as scum.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Scrub on 2008-01-26 12:44 ]</font>

[ABDUR101]

On 2008-01-26 12:42, Scrub wrote:
Really, I dont give a damn WHAT two people have CONSENSUAL sex, it's when rape comes into the play that I start labelling people as scum.


Certainly can't rape the willing!

[6string4play]

ITT sick fucks, lack of decency and self discipline.

[DizzyDi]

Whoa I thought I posted something I didn't remember.

To stay on topic. I agree with Abdur and Scrub. Get off your high horse 6string and stop acting like you don't have skeletons in your closet.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: DizzyDi on 2008-01-26 13:40 ]</font>

[washuguy]

I believe in second chances, but trying to get the uhhhh... you know... from kids is messed up. well I guess you can let him have a job, BUT people will look at him all weird... and he's dumb as hell if he tries again!!!

[SabZero]

Uh, you gonna get bitch-slapped by Oprah. Most of the child molesters oppose rape strongly. They believe little kids *want* to have sex, so they "groom" them into it, and shame them into keeping quiet. (yes, this according to her shows on the issue)

[washuguy]

On 2008-01-26 13:21, ABDUR101 wrote:

On 2008-01-26 12:42, Scrub wrote:
Really, I dont give a damn WHAT two people have CONSENSUAL sex, it's when rape comes into the play that I start labelling people as scum.


Certainly can't rape the willing!

http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif how true

[Dangerous55]

There are 2 different kinds of guys on that shows.

The freaks and perverts who you probably don't want anything to do with. The second are normal guys who made a mistake. I don't know how young they make the "girls" on that show but making them 15 or 16 is pretty wrong. The younger the girl the healthier the child would be, which you know, is the whole idea of sex and the male body and mind is just made to go after this.

I don't want it to sound like I am defending these guys. I am not. They should know the law and societys current standards. I guess what I mean is that these guys are just human.

The host of that show I hate. He doesn't care about those kids. If these situations were real the parents should get in trouble just like the random guy.

[6string4play]

On 2008-01-26 13:38, DizzyDi wrote:
Whoa I thought I posted something I didn't remember.

To stay on topic. I agree with Abdur and Scrub. Get off your high horse 6string and stop acting like you don't have skeletons in your closet.
My "Skeleton" doesn't have a "bone" for little kids.

[ABDUR101]

On 2008-01-26 19:47, 6string4play wrote:
My "Skeleton" doesn't have a "bone" for little kids.


The point is we all have things we struggle with and against, and I personally feel that someone having consexual sex with someone of proper fertile age isn't a big issue. It was only acouple hundred years ago that americans were marrying at the age of 16(and younger), and throughout much of the world, you are an adult at 16. Thats the consensus; if you've reached sexual maturity, its all hands on deck.

As was said, consexual sex; not a big deal. Rapists? Very big deal.

[6string4play]

Since when did these kids really know what's right for them? I'm glad we have laws. Also, are we talking about some 40 year old (at least) pervert?

[Kylie]

I'd avoid him, hell yeah, but I'd try to be civil and not blantly ignore him.

[Sord]

On 2008-01-26 20:57, ABDUR101 wrote:

On 2008-01-26 19:47, 6string4play wrote:
My "Skeleton" doesn't have a "bone" for little kids.


The point is we all have things we struggle with and against, and I personally feel that someone having consexual sex with someone of proper fertile age isn't a big issue. It was only acouple hundred years ago that americans were marrying at the age of 16(and younger), and throughout much of the world, you are an adult at 16. Thats the consensus; if you've reached sexual maturity, its all hands on deck.

As was said, consexual sex; not a big deal. Rapists? Very big deal.


this is pretty much how I feel about it. A 16 year old? Last time I checked, there are TONS of 16 years olds both male and female having consensual sex, law or no law. If they play the willing partner, it's their own damn fault. As it's been stated, rape is the only thing that's really sickening at this age.

[ABDUR101]

Honestly, it's like much of america thinks "Whoa whoa, 16, thats still a child! They can't think for themselves or do much of anything for themselves yet, they're too young to really know anything." Hardly! Those two extra years leading up to being 18 don't close the gap when it comes to suddenly having a brain; at 16 you can drive(put the lives of everyone else on the road at risk, basically), and the majority of 'kids' are having sex at 15+ anyway.

Besides, if your kid doesn't have much life experiences, odds are good you've kept them on a tight leash under the pre-conception that they are vulnerable and need your protection from the world; I've seen that happen, and then magically as soon as the person turns 18, its all "You need to grow up, get a job, move out, get some responsibility". It's not a light switch, which is what I see happening alot, and thats why you have alot of people going out and making big mistakes, because they're thrown 'into the mix' without much guidance or personal experience to have learned from.

[Kent]

As per usual, I proably wouldn't socialize with them unless approached.

Of course, socialization and cooperation are two different things - I have to cooperate with with complete bastards on a daily basis, and it doesn't really require that you be overly friendly, you just have to treat them like a teammate, regardless of personal issues, or how much of a sick bastard they may actually be.

After all, if you're getting paid to work with someone... You're getting paid to work with someone, and you two probably have the same goal there.

[6string4play]

On 2008-01-27 07:46, ABDUR101 wrote:
Honestly, it's like much of america thinks "Whoa whoa, 16, thats still a child! They can't think for themselves or do much of anything for themselves yet, they're too young to really know anything." Hardly!Because the consequence of 10-20 years in prison doesn't discourage people...

I didn't even bother reading the rest of your post because it's probably pro-Lolita anyways.

[ABDUR101]

"Lolita" being any underage girl who uses her sexuality to her advantage. But sure, go ahead and miss out on a discussion, fuck if I care. If you're going to skip reading posts to ignore the discussion at hand, don't bother replying half-assed.

[6string4play]

You're right in that respect, really can't have normal discussions with those that have sick mental diseases. End of argument.

[ABDUR101]

On 2008-01-27 12:13, 6string4play wrote:
You're right in that respect, really can't have normal discussions with those that have sick mental diseases. End of argument.


Funny, did'nt know human nature was a 'sick mental disease'. Way to assume I'm all into lollerskates 'lolita' too. =]

[Katrina]

Most of the decoys on that show pass themselves off as 12-14 years old. I do have issue with an adult trying to get into a 12 year old's pants.

If anyone attempts to find justification in that, I'm sorry, but that's wrong. No matter what spin you put on it.

[Wyndham]

On 2008-01-27 12:43, Pixiesugar wrote:
Most of the decoys on that show pass themselves off as 12-14 years old. I do have issue with an adult trying to get into a 12 year old's pants.

If anyone attempts to find justification in that, I'm sorry, but that's wrong. No matter what spin you put on it.


I have a friend who is attracted to 12-year-old girls, but I don't hate him for it. he's a decent person who doesn't take it further than hentai.

[Zael]

I wouldn't mind working with him really, as long as I'm getting my paycheck. As a matter of fact, if you're young enough, you can use this guy to hook you up with some young chicas.

*fkee*

[CupOfCoffee]

I've watched To Catch A Predator a lot, and as someone already said, the decoy always tells the mark right off the bat that they're 14 or younger. They never claim to be 15 or older, I believe, because it's a slightly different set of laws that would apply. Or something. Bottom line is, it's always someone trying to get with a kid between the ages of 12 and 14. Is that inherently wrong? Of course there could and will be debate on that issue, but I personally don't think its right for a 20+ year old guy (40 and 50+ in many cases on the show) to come into the home of a kid aged 14- in an effort to have sex with them. Do the decoys kind of lead the guys on and try to move things forward? Yes. Do the guys sometimes appear to have been duped? Yes. Do they still show up at that fucking house in the middle of the night or whenever the parents are supposedly away carrying a bag of McDonalds and a box of condoms? Yes. If your fantasy has the potential to change someone else's life for the worse, then it's probably best kept in the realm of fantasy.

[Leviathan]

On 2008-01-26 22:18, Sord wrote:

On 2008-01-26 20:57, ABDUR101 wrote:

On 2008-01-26 19:47, 6string4play wrote:
My "Skeleton" doesn't have a "bone" for little kids.


The point is we all have things we struggle with and against, and I personally feel that someone having consexual sex with someone of proper fertile age isn't a big issue. It was only acouple hundred years ago that americans were marrying at the age of 16(and younger), and throughout much of the world, you are an adult at 16. Thats the consensus; if you've reached sexual maturity, its all hands on deck.

As was said, consexual sex; not a big deal. Rapists? Very big deal.


this is pretty much how I feel about it. A 16 year old? Last time I checked, there are TONS of 16 years olds both male and female having consensual sex, law or no law. If they play the willing partner, it's their own damn fault. As it's been stated, rape is the only thing that's really sickening at this age.


It's like what those guys above me said about how everyone has their skeletons in their closet, only difference is that it was aired on tv.

[Sinue_v2]

No, I wouldn't socialize with them. 16+ is a bit of a grey area for most people, and sure it was alright in the past - but times have changed and 16 year olds aren't generally forced to mature as quickly as they were in the past. They're still very much in a learning phase of their life, and are extremely vulnerable and apt to being taken advantage of. And a bit of it depends on the circumstance. If I was working with a 20 year old who was seeing a 16 year old... that's one thing, there's only 4 years difference. If he's 25+, no...

Hell, a large enough age difference even among concenting adults is disasterous. My sister, for instance, dated a 35 year old guy when she was 20. They stayed together for 4 years, but she finally broke it off with him because she realised that she wasn't in love with him as a person... but that she loved the "father figure" he represented. Someone who had experience in the world and could take the reigns in the relationship and look out for her. As she grew and could provide her own security and confidence, she didn't need that safety blanket anymore - and their relationship fell apart. On a personal level, they were from two very different times and just couldn't relate.

I actually have worked with a pedophile before. One of my first jobs out of school was working at a Noble Romans in a gas station. A month or two into the job, we got a new employee - who's name my friend recognized. So we get on the office computer and look up the Indiana DOC records to find out that he was a convicted pedophile. He didn't put this on his resume, but the station owner didn't care since he was drinking buddy of her husband - and the whole reason he was hired was because if he was working, her husband wouldn't have anybody to drink with. (And yes, I confirmed the DOC record with the police officers who would stop in for the complimentary pizza I'd make for them)

The guy was disqusting. A short, greasy, fat, bucktoothed, balding son of a bitch who wasn't expected to actually do any work - nor did he have any intention to do so. Every so often you'd see a woman come in with her child, and that sick son of a bitch would eyeball that kid and you could almost SEE the thoughts going through his head.

No, I didn't socialize with him. He's lucky I didn't kick those buck teeth of his out. I didn't cut him any slack, and would more than once force him to clean up his area (which was horribly filthy) before leaving, standing over him and berating him like HE was the 19 year old. Eventually, after one night when it was expected to be especially busy (a local teenage dancehall let out and they'd come to our station to party afterward). He wasn't allowed to serve them (being a pedophile and all), so he worked the four hours previous and I was to work the crowd after. Since I was coming in late, he was to prepare everything for me. However nothing had gottend done, and he left me completely fucked in the face of a growing horde of customers. I tried to call the boss, but the number she left was busy for three hours. So I called him up at his home and chewed him out, swearing profanities so foul it almost melted the reciever of the phone in front of the customers. (Which, being teenagers, they found hilarious)

I got fired, of course. But at least, for compensation, I read in the paper a few months later that the son of a bitch had gotten caught making advances at an underage girl and was back in jail pending trial. The bitch who ran the station, for hiring him without reviewing his application properly - was fired. I think I might have a few friends at that place which helped the dominos fall, but I'm not sure.

So yeah, the answer is a no... I would not socialize with a pedophile at work. As a general rule, I find them disgusting and abhorable. There is a grey area, of course, and I realize that people often have no control over what turns them on. The breaker is whether or not they act, or have the inclination to act, on those urges.

Also, I do carry a bit of a double-standard. I find older men that prey on younger girls disgusting - but an older woman preying on younger guys (to a digree - 16 and over) is less deplorable. Like that smoking hot teacher in florida who was giving one-on-one sex-ed lessons to her male students. That I can deal with. I probably still wouldn't be all buddy buddy with her - but she wouldn't make the bile rise in the back of my throat like that fat little shithead I used to work with.

[ABDUR101]

That double standard is quite funny. It's ok for a young male to accept sex from a 'smokin-hawt' teacher, but it's not ok for a young female to accept sex from an older man? Very biased, and just makes you look silly.

Young women enjoy sex just as much as young men, so if one can get it from someone older, why not the other? Very silly double-standard to have.

[Sinue_v2]

I wasn't trying to justify it. I was just saying I carry that double standard. I think most people in general do, they just don't admit it openly. Which is why you hear comedians often make jokes about it, while they generally don't touch the subject of male predators.

I'd rather look silly for holding that double standard than to lie to myself and others about it.

[Shadowpawn]

I wouldn't socialize with him. I'll just do what I have to do and be done, I still have to get paid like everyone else. Besides I don't like being friendly with people you work with because the conversions you get into tend to be work related...and I honestly don't get a fuck work force politics.

[Pengfishh]

I did work with a sex offender last year at Game Crazy. Just statutory, 18 year old him versus 16 year old her, but the guy was still a creep and a jerk and I wanted to beat him up every day I saw him.

[DizzyDi]

On 2008-01-28 12:52, Pengfishh wrote:
18 year old him versus 16 year old her



Pfft. Thats nothing. That goes down everyday, people just don't get caught.
I'D do a 16 year old if I knew I wasn't gunna get sent to jail.

[McLaughlin]

Having skeletons in your closet is no excuse for wanting to have sex with a pre-teen. You don't need to be on a high horse to see that.

[ABDUR101]

On 2008-01-28 13:27, Obsidian_Knight wrote:
Having skeletons in your closet is no excuse for wanting to have sex with a pre-teen. You don't need to be on a high horse to see that.


Pre-teen = 12 and below. Six-teen.

I've known of 20-somethings dating 16 and 17 year olds, no big deal. Atleast the older guys use protection, most of the high-school kids having sex don't, causes alot of abortions or wellfare mothers in the area, since the guy they had sex with is in no position to take responsibility/support them, let alone himself since he too isn't out of school or has a job.

[McLaughlin]

Where was the age of this guy stated? I never saw it.

16's the age of consent? Then if you love that person enough to want to have sex with them, you'll wait until they come of age. There has to be some rationale as to why it's 16 and not, "able to walk."

The guy bit the bait. Under no circumstances would I deem it acceptable for anyone to agree to meet some 14 year old at their house in the middle of the night with the intention of having sex, tricked or not. You need have some self-control, and if you lack that self-control, you need to seek help. When you act on those urges, you accept the consequences of your actions. You can't advocate their actions, and you certainly shouldn't try to euphemise them. Especially when they're being so underhanded about what they're doing. They obviously know it's wrong.

[Sychosis]

The people busted on To Catch a Predator aren't even going after 16 year olds, they go after 12 and 13 year olds: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22423433/


In the basement are our paid consultants -- members of the online watchdog group Perverted Justice. Its volunteers set up profiles of 12- or 13-year-olds, go into chat rooms, and wait to be contacted. If a man starts chatting, expresses a desire for sex and is willing to meet, the decoy then invites the man over.

[Noblewine]

No nuff said.

[ABDUR101]

I don't agree with people preying on pre-teens, thats well below sexual maturity(obviously) and should'nt be tolerated. As for the show, its been a while since I saw it but I was pretty sure they had kids on their that were just on the 'cusp' of adulthood, but its been a while. If they did portray everyone as 12 and 13, then who they caught is fine, my issue is when people make a big deal about 16 year olds and someone older; generally not a big deal. As I said, certainly worse things than a sexually active 16 year old having consensual sex with someone older.

[AlexCraig]

On 2008-01-28 14:45, Noblewine wrote:
No nuff said.


I concur.

[HUnewearl_Meira]

There are two states in the union whose Age of Consent is 14. Just thought I'd throw that out there.


I think I'm mostly with Abdur on this one, but I also would like to point out that any guy in his late 20's going after someone in their late teens is doing it exclusively for sex; he's the sort of guy that just can't impress women his own age, so he has to play the "older man" card. I believe Sinue made a comment that hit the nail pretty much on the head, if not exploring it fully--


On 2008-01-27 17:37, Sinue_v2 wrote:
My sister, for instance, dated a 35 year old guy when she was 20. They stayed together for 4 years, but she finally broke it off with him because she realised that she wasn't in love with him as a person... but that she loved the "father figure" he represented. Someone who had experience in the world and could take the reigns in the relationship and look out for her.


Older men have an incredible power over younger women. These teen girls think it's just so flattering that they've been able to attract an older man, and well, he's just so damned dreamy, because of his apparent wealth of experience. They're blinded to the fact that he's just in it for the orgasms, and frankly, while I don't see that there's necessarily anything wrong with it legally, that doesn't make it right. That's something else to remember folks-- Law and Morallity do not necessarily coincide. Law is there to provide order, and morality, honor.

[amtalx]

Socialize? No. But keep in mind that you don't walk into the office everyday to "socialize". You go there to work.

[ABDUR101]

I agree, when it comes to age difference it really depends on the motive. Some older guys are very decent, some older guys aren't. My brother had a friend that was known, notoriously, for dating middle-school and highschool girls. He was 23 dating 16 year olds, and the sad reality is; he just did'nt have enough of a personality or anything of value that a mature woman would want. He was basically a sub-adult, he'd blow all his money on his car and sound systems to show off, and in the local area the teeny-boppers thought he was all that because of his car and so on.

However, thats all the dood had, his car. You could'nt sit down and have a decent conversation with him, he was very much into nothing but 'sex and bitches'. He was basically just a going no where loser, stuck in his own little world where he was cool and thats all that mattered to him.

Women his age even today, ignore him like the plague; and he's known all around the area as a laughing stock and very dicey decisions. Strip clubs and showing off his car are all he has going for him even still. But hey, if he's happy with that, all the power to him.