@ PSOW females : what should i do?

[thatrandomguy]

Ok so i have a friend who i speak to atleast 7 hours a day and hang with on an consistant basis, and i being your typical male am starting to find myself becoming attracted to her.However and this is where it becomes somewhat complicated she has a 2yr or 3year old child by a friend of mine however they are not currently together and through all of her drama 7 troubles i have been their for her. maybe a little to much imo because she now calls me stuff like her BFF and thats the three most hated letters that any female and give a guy because we always like to feel that we have a shot at you rofl. anyway what do you think sit back and accept my faith or push the envelope to the brink of friendship destruction/

[HUnewearl_Meira]

I have far too much facial hair to, in fact, be a woman, but here's my thoughts on it: If you believe that you can go the distance, and build a marriage with this woman (and given how much time you claim to spend with her, it seems like you stand a good chance), then it may be worth your while to try to engage her in a romantic relationship. Supposing that she's not currently attached to someone, then I think you should go for it.

It's not something that you can just jump right into, though. You have to ease into it, small steps at a time, and let nature take its course. Instead of just bringing it right out (this may scare her off), you have to guide the relationship into it. You have to wait for her to seem open to acknowledging the existence of a romantic relationship between the two of you.

Also, be aware that any man in a romantic relationship with her must be prepared to step into the "Daddy" role for her child, and that's a heavy weight to carry, though noble, if you can do it.

[Kylie]

Really? Men hate the BFF label?! Hell, I do that all that freakin' time... http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif Anyway, tell her how you feel, and maybe she'll say she feels the same way. I mean, you only live once, and you owe it to yourself and her to see what'd happen. If a guy was crushing on me, I'd like him to tell, and I wouldn't try to crush him if I didn't feel the same. So what's the harm? Try it, and don't worry about your friend that's the father of her children.

[raikomaru40]

drug her! no, jk, don't http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_nono.gif my "BFF" ended up being my GF only b/c we were BFF's, just be yourself and get her alone and, from personal experience, make sure she doesn't think you're doing it b/c a friend told you to (my "personal problem" was an accident, i really did like her) http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_yes.gif



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: raikomaru40 on 2008-02-18 11:09 ]</font>

[Larian]

On 2008-02-18 09:49, Kylie wrote:
Really? Men hate the BFF label?!



YES!! I also find it really hard to want to stay friends with someone once I've become attracted to them...I guess I feel like being friends is going to lessen my chances of actually getting to date said girl. =/

[Kittycat]

you're her friend, not her boyfriend.
look at other women and not just her!

[Saner]

Flip a coin. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif

[Kylie]

On 2008-02-18 11:11, Larian wrote:

On 2008-02-18 09:49, Kylie wrote:
Really? Men hate the BFF label?!



YES!! I also find it really hard to want to stay friends with someone once I've become attracted to them...I guess I feel like being friends is going to lessen my chances of actually getting to date said girl. =/


Psht, unappreciative bastards. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif

[HUnewearl_Meira]

On 2008-02-18 11:32, Kittycat wrote:
you're her friend, not her boyfriend.
look at other women and not just her!



This is always good advice. Never get too hung up on just one girl, until the sentiment is mutual.

[Rashiid]

On 2008-02-18 09:49, Kylie wrote:
Really? Men hate the BFF label?!



Dear God the BFF label is teh WORST!
Thats basically saying:
"You can hug me, touch me, kiss me on my cheek, and talk to me 24/7, but you sure as hell ain't secsing me or getting together with me!"

Once I'm deemed a chicks BFF, I start to lay off for awhile, to lose the title.....

[Sekani]

On 2008-02-18 09:49, Kylie wrote:
Really? Men hate the BFF label?! Hell, I do that all that freakin' time... http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif

The BFF label is the kiss of death. It means you pretty much have no chance in hell of forming a sexual relationship.

At least, that's what it means to guys.

[AlexCraig]

BFF = Not gonna be BF



Glad I don't have to worry about that...

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: AlexCraig on 2008-02-18 16:47 ]</font>

[Rashiid]

You even hear it in conversations.

BFF's Friend: "Ooooooooooo who's heeeeeeeeeeeee"
'BFF': "Oh him?"
BFF's Friend: "Yeahh all saying hiii and stuff and the huggggsss"
'BFF': "Oh no no no no no he's my BFF, haha, never that!"

Just....a killer....

[eXo]

Just face it you have been friendzoned. To be placed into this catagory while finding yourself sexually attracted to the person can become very detrimental to your relationship.

However since this is the deck that you have been dealt, let me show you how to play the cards in your favor. First you have to systematiclly, swing momentum into your favor.

the easier way to achieve this is by temporaryly,distancing yourself from her for about a week, it will most likly be to tempting to cut it cold turkey so limit your conversations to about 1 hour max, and if at all possible do not answer her calls. they will become way more frequent however you must resist the urge to answer.

Once you do reestablish communication, you are now in the dominate position of the relationship, as you will have her hoping through the loopholes for your attention.





<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: eXo on 2008-02-18 19:15 ]</font>

[Sgt_Shligger]

Sounds like your on a one-way trip to Friendville. If you really do want to pursue her, hop out of the vehicle while you still can and make a move.

[eXo]

A friend of mines suggested the old blow and smack trick, set the situation up by complaining about something in your eye then wait about 30 minutes !!! continue to rub the eye and work your way into asking her to blow in your eye for you. once her lips form a blowing motion give her a KISS !!!! only four possible outcomes can come from this.


(A) She slaps the holy hell out of you provides a verbal lashing, and things will eventaully return to normal



(B) You loose a couple of teeth in a very painful way, but you manage to liberate yourself from the akward situation and restore your manhood all in one shot.



(C) She empathizes with your feelings, and addresses help you guys establish a better foundation , on the limitations of your relationship.

(D)you guys try to make it work !!!!!


Just be prepared and expect the worst while hoping for the best !!!

[Rashiid]

No 'She completely falls for you!' option?
Remind me never to try that flawfilled plan. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif

[Kylie]

Gosh. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif Leave me alone...

Most of my friends are guys rather than girls - like 90 to 10 % -, and I hope they all weren't banking on a sexual relationship when they befriended me. Anyway, yeah, I'm sure I've called each of them a BFF at some point.

[Raine_Loire]

LOL Laguna was my best friend for about 6 months before we hooked up. He just "got" me, like no one else ever has.

As far as the OP goes, you don't mention your ages, or how old the kid is (I don't think you did anyway), or how long ago your friend and the girl were involved. It all makes a difference, because even someone who doesn't mind you dating their ex (and it seems to me that there are a lot of guys who DO mind, even if THEY ended the relationship) might mind when you step into the "daddy" role with their kid.

When kids are involved, it's a lot more complicated than just "do what you want." To be honest, the best friend label is a good one to have because you've proved you're there for her. And women with children are often looking for someone who WILL be there, they usually won't "date around" because of the instability that brings to their children's lives. So even if she IS interested in you, she may want to take it more slowly than you'd think. Notice I say "women" with children- if it's a teenage girl with a child then IDK where she's at, from what I hear girls with kids keep trying to reclaim the childhood they're losing, even if it means sacrificing their kids. Not always, of course, there are mature girls and immature women.

My only real suggestion is to make sure what you want is the same as what she wants. And if you aren't in it for the "long haul" for whatever reason- whether it's because you're still a kid and not ready to commit or because she doesn't want that- but you date anyway, try to minimize your presence in the child's life. It's harder on kids when the adults in their lives break up than it is on the adults. Oh... and um... what else... right. Consider the fact that if the kid is of a certain age- 3ish or older, and you've been in their life for that whole time, if you and its mom break up you won't be what you were before ever again.

Dating a woman with kids is tricky. Trickier even if the ex comes back in the picture and decides he wants the kids after no contact for their whole lives... He can end up controlling every aspect of your life if you DID marry her. Parent's lives aren't about themselves anymore, so think long and hard about if you're ready to make someone else's child the center of YOUR life just because you think the mom is pretty or w/e. Sometimes it's kinder for the mom AND the kid to just be a friend.

*EDIT* oh, I see you said the kid is 2 or 3... if you're such good friends with the mom, shouldn't you KNOW???


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Raine_Loire on 2008-02-19 11:33 ]</font>

[eXo]

Maybe he fails at math =)