Advice for Living Alone

[NNEONateDogg]

After I graduate from high school, my mom plans on moving to somewhere in Utah to get away from the crime and go searching better job for money than to stay in Youngstown, Ohio. When this happens she expects me to go with her, but I won't want to go. I want to try my hardest to stay here where I feel at home and stay with my friends.

So right now I am trying to plan stuff I will need to get and to do to live by myself. Here is what I can think of that I will need: a driver's license, a car with insurance, a job, a place to live, learn how to do laundry, Internet and service for a cell phone. I will need a driver's license with a car and insurance, obviously to get around. I will need a job with enough pay for rent with utilities, food, gas and insurance for the car, cell phone service, Internet and anything else that may randomly occur. I am currently living in an apartment so I think I can keep it after my mom leaves. How embarrassing it may be, I do not know how to do laundry. I have to have my Internet no matter what, for browsing the Web, using online applications and for Xbox Live for my Xbox 360. Service for a cell phone would be a must, just in case I would need to contact somebody when I am out or if somebody needed to contact me.

Right now I am living in an apartment with my mom paying rent with utilities for $500 a month if I recall correctly. Learning how to do laundry shouldn't be too hard. I won't have to pay a lot for food, I can eat only enough to fill myself when I am hungry. I can live off of cereal, scrambled eggs with toast, peanut butter and jam sandwiches, burgers and grilled cheese sandwiches. These are the only types of food I can prepare which is kind of sad. Maybe I will ask my mom to teach me how to make some other foods I like that she can make, such as pizza, pepperoni rolls and bread. For buying a car, I will probably only buy a cheap car that can properly function and is in good condition. I might have to ask someone to teach me some mechanics just in case if it breaks down. I don't know much about insurance prices so I have no knowledge about it. For cell phone services I will try to keep a low price plan. I think I will definitely have to get unlimited talking and maybe unlimited texting. For Internet, right now I have DSL and I think that you can only have an active connection if you have an active home phone connection.

I would appreciate it if you took the time to give me some advice on everything I mentioned if you can and add some things you think I should do and/or left out.

[Kittycat]

How's that bus system? A piece of junk car won't be fun to maintain.
Have you considered living on the nearby state campus and going into student debt? Loans cover food, tuition, and a dorm. Fill out your fafsa if so.
wikihow can teach you laundry stuff, but you can learn good stuff watching and talking to your mom.

[Dangerous55]

Just find a decent job, you need that for the rest of it. Don't expect anything good right out of high school though. Around here the only thing for that is working in distribution centers. It is decent money but the hours suck. So I am told, I never did it.

[Solstis]

With your limited life skills (cooking, laundry, etc), you're going to need a good friend network to keep you together for a bit. Also, I hope that they're great friends if that's why you're not leaving town later.

A car might be out of the question, unless it really is a necessity.

[AC9breaker]

You can have the sound on now when you watch porn!

[NNEONateDogg]

On 2008-02-20 20:52, Solstis wrote:
With your limited life skills (cooking, laundry, etc), you're going to need a good friend network to keep you together for a bit. Also, I hope that they're great friends if that's why you're not leaving town later.

A car might be out of the question, unless it really is a necessity.

This coming summer I plan on to really take it serious to learn a lot of things, get a job and get some practice of what to expect later on. This city and my friends are really important to me. I was born and raised here and although I haven't had the greatest life (my father never really provided much), my mom was still there to pull through which I am thankful for. I want to make her proud and want to show her what I can do and show her that I can make it on my own. Plus my friends mean everything to me.

[NNEONateDogg]

On 2008-02-20 20:20, Kittycat wrote:
How's that bus system? A piece of junk car won't be fun to maintain.
Have you considered living on the nearby state campus and going into student debt? Loans cover food, tuition, and a dorm. Fill out your fafsa if so.
wikihow can teach you laundry stuff, but you can learn good stuff watching and talking to your mom.

I was going to ask my mom about teaching me stuff, but when she would ask why am I trying to do all of this all of a sudden, she probably would be displeased to hear how I want to stay here. There is nothing she can do though because by the time I will graduate I will be 18 and a half and she cannot force me to do things by then. I should still ask anyhow, I mean what does it matter? I will get the same response of disappointment anyhow. If she doesn't tell me, fine. I have friends to help me out. Heck I just remembered this thought, maybe I can share this current apartment with someone else and live together if he/she if looking for an apartment.

[Raine_Loire]

I'd be careful about sharing an apt. Nothing can split up a friendship like being roommates. And if you don't have family in the area, and they do, they've got somewhere to go if it goes sour, and you don't.

Ironically, both me and my younger brother were in this situation when we graduated from high school (we're 8 years apart). My family moved across the country after we graduated- from IL to MN for me, and GA to CA with my brother. We both went through what you are going through now, planning for independence, and all the lists of what you'd need to have and know... And in the end, common sense won out for both of us, and we ended up moving with them. Don't get me wrong, I loved my friends, and so did my brother. But in the end, after high school, everyone moves on with their lives, they go to college, get full time jobs, get married... You'll never have the life you have right now again.

That said, you didn't ask for opinions on what you should do... You asked for practical advice... so here goes.

JOB:

When you're looking for a job there are a few things you need to think about as an independent. 1) pay. a good rule of thumb is you want to make 2/3 more than what you pay for rent... well you want your rent to be 1/3 of your paycheck... So for a $500 place, you want a job that you BRING HOME $1500 a month. Remember taxes- even if you don't have to pay income taxes, because you don't make enough, you'll have to pay social security and medicare taxes. It's a large chunk of money a year, and you don't get it back. You want a job that pays about $11.60 an hour based on your rent... (that is considering 25% taken out for taxes, working 40 hours a week) 2) benefits. You won't be on your parents insurance if you're over 19 and not in school, so when you're looking for a job you need to consider costs of health insurance- or if it's even offered. It can run about $100 a paycheck. Of course, you're 18, so you'll say "I don't need it." But if you're on your own, yeah you do. People get sick, and a lot of jobs require a drs note when you miss more than 2 days. You could hurt yourself, have an accident... any one of these things without insurance can financially ruin you. 3) location. If you have a crappy car, and a job you're just scraping by with, you want a job that's on a public transportation route, or close enough to walk/ ride a bike. You can NOT, I repeat NOT count on your friends for rides to a job! They may be "incredible" and be your reason for living, but you're talking about YOUR livelihood and you can only count on yourself. When it comes down to it, it's not their asses hanging in the wind if you can't get a ride to work.

FOOD

Yeah, you're going to want to learn to cook... and shop around. It's usually cheaper to make your own food than to buy frozen, already prepared stuff.

CAR

Car insurance is ridiculously expensive pretty much everywhere, especially for teenage boys not on their parents policy... I'd hit up progressive or esurance.com and check out an estimate for you specifically before you buy a car. And OH MY GOD I just read where you said you think you'll need a driver's license... you don't have one yet?? You'll be paying a lot for insurance... You may need to consider alternate modes of transportation...

UTILITIES:

Unless they're included in rent, these are also expenses you'll have to consider. And this catagory includes water, electricity, possibly gas as well as cable, cell phones, home phone and internet. If you have to set up the utilities in your own name, you'll have to pay a deposit, usually 100- 150 dollars each. Home phone IS required for DSL, and that usually needs a deposit as well if you don't have a really good credit record. I'd recommend you get prepaid cell phones, virgin mobile or whatever you have in your area. You may want to reconsider the "MUST HAVE INTERNET" idea, at least until you get your feet under you. And unless you have a washer and dryer in your apartment you will need to set aside money to go to the laundromat.

Anyway, what you want to do is start a budget. Figure out what your monthly payments are going to be for everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. Don't forget ANYTHING you'll need, not even toilet paper. Hit the grocery store and figure out what everything you will eat will cost. Figure out if you'll need any up front money for anything, how much of a start up cost will be. Once you have it all planned out, you will need to talk to your mom. Tell her your plans, show her your budget, let her know you're serious about it. You're going to need her help, and you're an adult, you can't be sneaking around behind her back planning one future while she's planning another. She can help you with meal planning, teaching you minor repairs you'll need to know for your apartment (unplugging a toilet, changing light bulbs, stuff like that), and possibly with start up costs. One thing is for sure, she'll be less willing to help you out if you're lying to her face about stuff.

Living on your own is hard, and expensive, but people CAN do it. It depends on how much willpower you have- can you force yourself to eat scrambled eggs for your 6th day in a row, and not blow the money for your electric bill to go out to dinner and a movie with your friends?

The reason I went with my parents was because as much as I loved my friends, I loved my parents so much more. When it came down to it, and I had to choose, I wanted to be close to them. That and I realized my $6/ hr job at Marshalls was NOT going to put a roof over my head, much less food in my stomach. And if you plan to go to college, you may want to consider going with your mom, and just attending a college near your old home. Most people go away to school anyway... [/end bossy big sister act]

[elainesangel9]

get lots of sleep. lol I learned that the hard way, without sleep you are azombie. seriously, it affects alot

[NNEONateDogg]

On 2008-02-20 23:28, Raine_Loire wrote:
I'd be careful about sharing an apt. Nothing can split up a friendship like being roommates. And if you don't have family in the area, and they do, they've got somewhere to go if it goes sour, and you don't.

Ironically, both me and my younger brother were in this situation when we graduated from high school (we're 8 years apart). My family moved across the country after we graduated- from IL to MN for me, and GA to CA with my brother. We both went through what you are going through now, planning for independence, and all the lists of what you'd need to have and know... And in the end, common sense won out for both of us, and we ended up moving with them. Don't get me wrong, I loved my friends, and so did my brother. But in the end, after high school, everyone moves on with their lives, they go to college, get full time jobs, get married... You'll never have the life you have right now again.

That said, you didn't ask for opinions on what you should do... You asked for practical advice... so here goes.

JOB:

When you're looking for a job there are a few things you need to think about as an independent. 1) pay. a good rule of thumb is you want to make 2/3 more than what you pay for rent... well you want your rent to be 1/3 of your paycheck... So for a $500 place, you want a job that you BRING HOME $1500 a month. Remember taxes- even if you don't have to pay income taxes, because you don't make enough, you'll have to pay social security and medicare taxes. It's a large chunk of money a year, and you don't get it back. You want a job that pays about $11.60 an hour based on your rent... (that is considering 25% taken out for taxes, working 40 hours a week) 2) benefits. You won't be on your parents insurance if you're over 19 and not in school, so when you're looking for a job you need to consider costs of health insurance- or if it's even offered. It can run about $100 a paycheck. Of course, you're 18, so you'll say "I don't need it." But if you're on your own, yeah you do. People get sick, and a lot of jobs require a drs note when you miss more than 2 days. You could hurt yourself, have an accident... any one of these things without insurance can financially ruin you. 3) location. If you have a crappy car, and a job you're just scraping by with, you want a job that's on a public transportation route, or close enough to walk/ ride a bike. You can NOT, I repeat NOT count on your friends for rides to a job! They may be "incredible" and be your reason for living, but you're talking about YOUR livelihood and you can only count on yourself. When it comes down to it, it's not their asses hanging in the wind if you can't get a ride to work.

FOOD

Yeah, you're going to want to learn to cook... and shop around. It's usually cheaper to make your own food than to buy frozen, already prepared stuff.

CAR

Car insurance is ridiculously expensive pretty much everywhere, especially for teenage boys not on their parents policy... I'd hit up progressive or esurance.com and check out an estimate for you specifically before you buy a car. And OH MY GOD I just read where you said you think you'll need a driver's license... you don't have one yet?? You'll be paying a lot for insurance... You may need to consider alternate modes of transportation...

UTILITIES:

Unless they're included in rent, these are also expenses you'll have to consider. And this catagory includes water, electricity, possibly gas as well as cable, cell phones, home phone and internet. If you have to set up the utilities in your own name, you'll have to pay a deposit, usually 100- 150 dollars each. Home phone IS required for DSL, and that usually needs a deposit as well if you don't have a really good credit record. I'd recommend you get prepaid cell phones, virgin mobile or whatever you have in your area. You may want to reconsider the "MUST HAVE INTERNET" idea, at least until you get your feet under you. And unless you have a washer and dryer in your apartment you will need to set aside money to go to the laundromat.

Anyway, what you want to do is start a budget. Figure out what your monthly payments are going to be for everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. Don't forget ANYTHING you'll need, not even toilet paper. Hit the grocery store and figure out what everything you will eat will cost. Figure out if you'll need any up front money for anything, how much of a start up cost will be. Once you have it all planned out, you will need to talk to your mom. Tell her your plans, show her your budget, let her know you're serious about it. You're going to need her help, and you're an adult, you can't be sneaking around behind her back planning one future while she's planning another. She can help you with meal planning, teaching you minor repairs you'll need to know for your apartment (unplugging a toilet, changing light bulbs, stuff like that), and possibly with start up costs. One thing is for sure, she'll be less willing to help you out if you're lying to her face about stuff.

Living on your own is hard, and expensive, but people CAN do it. It depends on how much willpower you have- can you force yourself to eat scrambled eggs for your 6th day in a row, and not blow the money for your electric bill to go out to dinner and a movie with your friends?

The reason I went with my parents was because as much as I loved my friends, I loved my parents so much more. When it came down to it, and I had to choose, I wanted to be close to them. That and I realized my $6/ hr job at Marshalls was NOT going to put a roof over my head, much less food in my stomach. And if you plan to go to college, you may want to consider going with your mom, and just attending a college near your old home. Most people go away to school anyway... [/end bossy big sister act]

I entirely read your whole post and I thank you for taking the time to write it. At first I thought nobody would write that much, but now I feel that there are certain people in the PSO-W community that actually care, like you for example.