Nosy roomates

[enoch]

how do I deal with these people?!
I cant send a message on my pc or even a text for that matter withoutr them looking over my shoulder!!

every aspect of my life, but i dont want to upset them, that would hinder living conditions etc just tasking for tips on noisy roomates in general

[Anduril]

I think you should set some ground rules. You can't live contently with people if you as a whole can't agree with some basic privacy rules.

[ABDUR101]

1) If you show courtesy to them, tell them you expect the same in return; expecially in terms of privacy.
2) There doesn't need to be a #2 if you get your point across in #1.

[enoch]

yea, but you see they pay the bills as well, If I get to distant from them (friendwise) I might get kicked out, I dont have the lease so its not a money issue. these people are stubborn though STUBBORN AS HELL!!! yea I know, i leave out details lol. your right, ground rules would be nice....I only made one hahaa..no shoes in the house,


in fact, to make things clear, I live with complete assholes and there is no courtesy from them, however they are trustworthy friends, idk if its worth it though



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: enoch on 2008-03-26 12:21 ]</font>

[Inazuma]

if you have your own room, get a lock for the door. that way, the annoying roomates will have to knock before they can enter.

[enoch]

ex kicked me out of the room when we broke up hahahahaha.....I sleep on the couch.no room for me

[KodiaX987]

Paying the bills != right to peep on everything you do.

If they can't handle giving you a minimum of privacy, then you were not welcome in the apartment to begin with and might as well move elsewhere. I don't consider a nosy asshole a friend in any remote sort of way. Friendship is a two-player game.

Start browsing the newspaper. If they show no sign of progress, get your ass in another home.

[Anduril]

Hmm... Sleeping on the couch definitely means you need to find yourself another place to live. If these guys are such assholes on top of the fact that you are couched I think this is your best option.

[BlaizeYES]

On 2008-03-26 12:36, KodiaX987 wrote:

If they can't handle giving you a minimum of privacy, then you were not welcome in the apartment to begin with and might as well move elsewhere.



kodiax is on to something there. afterall, they are the ones on the lease. and sometimes, having someone extra living inside the apartment without telling the landlord of the extra people can actually be trouble for them, not for you.


and are you saying that you're not even paying rent? if you're not paying at all, then:

yes... definitely get out and find your own place. if you're having a rough time and you're staying there until you get back on your feet, i can understand that... but if your "rough time" is not taking any initiative, then you honestly have no room to talk. i'm sure they are thinking, "why doesnt he find his own place?" and maybe being good-natured people that they are, they havent kicked you out, and they're trying to derive a little entertainment from you since you're really not doing anything for it.


EDIT: i just reread this topic, and you were living with your girlfriend. she kicked you out of the room, which i'm going to take was her room since you're not on the lease, and i'm rather sure you're not living in some halfway house where people just come and stay when they have nowhere else to go. LIFE ISNT "THE OUTSIDERS." and one more thing... your girlfriend has the room, with "your friends." who isn't to say that they are her friends, and you're impeding on her privacy, especially since you two have broken up? i think the situation is a bit fishy, if you ask me.



and i've noticed a trend here... people dont reveal all the details that could alter the situation in their original post in "rants." next time you're angry and want other people to back you up, TELL THE WHOLE STORY other than "my roomates don't give me any privacy," followed by, "i'm not on the lease, and i'm sleeping on the couch."



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: BlaizeYES on 2008-03-26 16:14 ]</font>

[Inazuma]

On 2008-03-26 12:34, enoch wrote:
ex kicked me out of the room when we broke up hahahahaha.....I sleep on the couch.no room for me



ouch, thats harsh man. no wonder you dont have any privacy. you are out in the open for everyone to see.

i once had a roomate who's room was the living room. lets just say, he took very long showers, if you know what i mean (^_^)

[thunder-ray]

This is why i dont bother with having roommates too much trouble at times. I prefer to live on my own and do my own thing myself with out having to deal with random roommates.

[Freshellent]

I'm grateful to have the roomates I do now. I must admit,at times I really get irratated with them looking over my shoulder,but I have to remember all I have to do is ask for some privacy and they are happy to move on.

In many cases,people are just curious,and aren't used to living with other people that aren't family at a younger age. I can't really be upset. Living like I am,it's a team effort. It won't do me much good to just get upset over something like them standing over me.

I learned very quickly how to drop casual hints: Turning off my monitor and giving them full attention. Typing in game that my roomate needs something. Saying it outloud over Vent. Things that put them on the spot without being totally rude,but certainly implying.

Often it works but when it doesn't,I smile and casually mention it. It takes a little bit of tact to deal with other people on things like this. I'm sure you'll learn your limits with how you speak to them over time.

Mind you,I'm a pretty solitary person. In truth,I'd rather live on my own completely. But I don't make enough money to do so this time in my life. I have to meet people in the middle with things. I'm lucky to even have my own room right now. Closing a door to read is a book is a dream come true for me recently. Having moved a lot,and delt with many types of people in close living conditions forced me to break some walls I had. Take this as a learning experience. Not everything you do in your life will be private. You just need to make it evident to others that some things,you need to yourself. Other things you might have to give up.

Eitherway,it's on you. Speak your mind without being rude about it and you should be fine. Besides,it's your business. Not your roomates.

[Raine_Loire]

"I live with assholes" "they're trustworthy friends"

One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?

Did you guess which thing was not like the others?
Did you guess which thing just doesn't belong?
If you guessed this one (pointing to calling them good friends) is not like the others,
Then you're absolutely...right!

Assholes are assholes, friends are friends. It's time for you to admit you're just mooching off them, and if you choose to do that, then yeah, they're gonna be nosy and no, there's nothing you can do. You're an in house VISITOR, they aren't your roommates.

And I agree with BlaizeYES- if you and your GF are broken up, you've very much outstayed your welcome. At this point SHE has more reason to complain than you.

[omegapirate2k]

If you go crazy and kill all of them, then you can plead insanity no problem.

[enoch]

I pay rent lol, I have 2 jobs and I produce a decent amount of money, I give it all to the apartment. and they are my freinds, just jerks, freedom isnt free I suppose, but I think I will leave, it got ridiculous after I found myself outside at 4am talking on the phone because that was the only place and time I could be alone. breaking the news is the hard part....i could just kill them all! (plots but not really cause I think a threat like that could be illegal and used agaianst me in court....)




and yea I knw i never tell the whole story all at once, idk why, I guess the only thing on my mind when I post is oh darn i gtg



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: enoch on 2008-03-27 09:16 ]</font>

[BlaizeYES]

well that is understandable, enoch. but i wasnt talking to specifically you when i said the thing about people posting in rants... basically every post i made to a topic, the original poster will reveal details after i post, then i'm forced to go back and have to change it because what they will say(in their follow-up post after getting some replies) ends up not being so favorable on them. i know why people do it, they want other people to "feel" them in a situation when they're angry in a rant. everyone always forgets logic when they get emotional.

and going outside or in another room for privacy on a phone conversation is nothing new. most of my phone conversations, i do the same. the worst is when you have a roomate that will try to join into the conversation when not even on the phone because they recognize something said that they think is funny, or they want to talk about as well. then you just stop talking, get up, and go into the other room. it's nothing new for anyone.


...so you're paying some rent, thats good. you arent completely leeching off of them. but you're still sitting a room away from your ex girlfriend that probably wants to let loose or get back to normalcy, and every time she wakes up and walks outside thinking "today is a new day away from all the drama," she knows that she cant even talk about how she wants to meet someone else because you're laying there, sleeping on the couch. maybe she paid for the couch, too. who knows. but you're "cramping her style" completely, and it's unfair to both parties, and maybe the other roomates have picked up on it and treat you like a pest. and remember: its not your ass on the line if the lease goes up in flames: you're not the one thats credit is going to get hit, and technically you wont be the one getting evicted. i'm sure if you move out, it isnt going to be a big loss to them. they'll make up the remainder of the money somehow

[Kylie]

I don't mind a clingy friend. I don't initiate much in real life, so having a roommate now that makes me do stuff is a blessing. However, it depends on the person, and... People say I'm an open person, but anyone that knows me well knows I'm very private with a lot of things. I figure I'd hate it if my roommate read all my stuff, etc. Thankfully, I haven't been in that situation...

[enoch]

its not a problem for me really, truth be told, I dont think they could handle living without me.
they wsate to much money without me around. and the ex. BELIEVE me I would love to get away from the drama too. we dont need to be living together, idk I have a place to go, but if I go there, (another state) there isnt really much a chance that I can ever come back. my freinds told me that if I leave they will never talk to me again so yea...
lifes complicated lol> I guess part of my problem with leaving out details is that I cant stand making REALLY long posts, lol you seem to be pretty ok at it though blaize.
id like to help out my friends finacially but that will be hard if im not with them.
http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

[KodiaX987]

On 2008-03-27 10:55, enoch wrote:
my freinds told me that if I leave they will never talk to me again so yea...


Leave. They can go fuck themselves. For them to threaten you this way, they were never your friends to begin with.

[enoch]

yea It does seem that way, I guess since I just moved out , I am still getting used to the freedom I have,

[AlexCraig]

Doesn't sound like freedom to me when they threaten your "friendship" like that. You leave one trap and enter another. Living on your own would be more difficult, but it sounds more worthwhile.

[enoch]

I think so to, but I keep asking myself if I am abandoning them or if they are forcing me to abandone them.

lol and by freedom, I mean freedo m of choice. like my choice to leave. its of no consequence to me, only to them

[AlexCraig]

Well, if you stay, your privacy will continue to be invaded, you will continue to feel like they don't want you there, and you will be sleeping on a couch of X ammount of time. (sores = painful)

Move out, and you lose their "friendship" (which is a stretch to call it that), but you will have your privacy, you can make newer and better friends, and you get a room of your own. PLUS, you still have your freedom of choice.

I think the better choice is apparant.

[enoch]

hahaha (sores, you have no idea) guess I better say goodbye to the wii...and brawl *creis*
(packs xbox360 and snes)

Yea, i guess I just need to get the guts to stand my ground,and say my peace, I cant go on a guilt trip over this lol

[Kylie]

Before you decide to walk out, I think you should confront the friend and be straight about it. "Hey, I need you to stop butting into my privacy, or I'm moving out." If you think you'll lose their friendship anyways, you haven't got anything to lose. And if he starts all the not talking to you crap again, tell him that you're still moving out if he doesn't stop. Because he has no right to invade your privacy, and it's his loss if he doesn't speak to you (it's not like you've done anything, right?).

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Kylie on 2008-03-27 11:48 ]</font>

[BlaizeYES]

well, i write long posts because i just allow my thoughts to flow. but this post, i'll keep it short and sweet for you:

-your friends "waste too much money," they will have to learn a life lesson of compensating their video game money for actual RENT money
-leave the apartment if they are THREATENING you if you try to get out of a bad situation. YOU'RE AN AMERICAN, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. YOU CANNOT GIVE INTO TERRORISM.

and final point:

-you're holding onto something because you're afraid of letting go of something you need to. "say goodbye to the wii"? FUCK THE WII. learn to move on, and make SACRIFICES. you're sleeping on a damn couch because you want to stay close with friends and you're afraid of losing them by leaving. then you try to make it seem as if you "feel bad" when you know that they will give you shit and excommunicate you if you leave. they are THREATENING YOU INTO STAYING BY IMPLYING THE EXILE OF YOUR FRIENDSHIPS. you don't "feel bad," because i can tell they've already given you shit about moving out and having to make them actually work and not play video games all day. FUCK your "friends." find an apartment with a STRANGER, A LONER if you want privacy. make NEW friends because it isnt that hard. friends will come and go, and you're holding onto SHIT people. you're living with an EX-girlfriend that by the sound of it, you already create so much soap opera shit with that means NOTHING on your real life and you "friends" are probably SICK OF IT. TAKE A STAND, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, AND ACT WITH CONVICTION. MY BOY, NOW IS THE TIME TO JOURNEY TO THE UNKNOWN. START A NEW. GO THE DISTANCE. SHOOT FOR THE MOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




lol. i'm sorry, i make myself laugh... but anyway, you seriously should move out. you're getting thrown around like a bitch, no offense. and REMEMBER THIS: there is NO such thing as a short post with me

[enoch]

lol nice, the wii thing was a joke, i make enough to get my own in due time. lol thanx all I think i will make the right choice cuase of all the wonderful PSOW peoples

[BlaizeYES]

lol, enoch, i was messing around with you, so dont think i was honestly yelling... thats just usually what i do. dont get offended by what i was saying... but if i was in your position, i would move out. they may think of you as an asshole, but trust me, its for the better. i've left people behind because they were being juvenile before, and given my age of being 21 and most of the people in my life, it wont be the last time i root out "bad apples." think of your separation and moving on as a new chapter in your story, and you're only going up from there. just remember what has happened so it doesnt happen again, nobody likes a story that repeats itself.

[enoch]

speaking of nosy, I just found out that they took my phone and read all my text messages AND somehow found out my myspace password and have read all my messages. I just moved out of there, but HELL! I had private stuff on there. jesus. who knows. next they will probably get my psoworld account since um...I cant figure out how to log off. but they dont even know this site exists. anyway, I moved out and it feels ok but they still keep syaing it was the most pityless childish thing I have ever done. it kinda makes me wonder but wtf. I ithnk I did right.

[thunder-ray]

Two words FUCK THEM!

[enoch]

I cant http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif one of them is a guy

[KodiaX987]

Kinda late for asking, but are you sure you're not actually leaving the Church of Scientology? http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[thunder-ray]

On 2008-03-31 09:00, enoch wrote:
I cant http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif one of them is a guy

Why should that matter?

[enoch]

well im straight.... church? wtf? science is evil!!!