question,,,,,,, (gf)

[RikaPSOW]

Ok, i have a gf. She usually makes me wait a lot before i can talk to her. I mean a lot. Anyones's opinions on this. For example..... She would say brb, 40 minutes later she comes back.This is really hard to explain well. I'll answer any questions. O she also pulled a brb and fell asleep on me.........

[Zelutos]

She's cheating on you. It's the only way to explain it.







Well, she could just have a bad memory, too!

[omegapirate2k]

I have a friend like that.

[DEM_CIG]

Does she Have really bad ADD... I have ADD but not really bad.* Hey look at that ting over there... I swear it moved.*

[ABDUR101]

Ok, lets start with the questioning:
1. How long has she been your girlfriend, did you know her beforehand, have you met in real life(and for how long) or is this an online/long distance relationship.
2. How old are both of you.
3. Do you talk on the phone, in person, go do things together, etc.

If you want honest opinions, you need to let us know the quirks and the details; you can't just come here and say "This is happening, what do you think?" and expect decent answers. If you make us draw conclusions, you'll get less than helpful answers.

[RikaPSOW]

1. me and her have been going out for about a month, we knew eachother for like 4 or five months beforehand, i haven't met her in person
2. not saying, lol
3. we talk to eachother on xbl sometimes on the phone, and we play psu together, o and tlak on aim
and i love her a lot

[Sgt_Shligger]

On 2008-04-08 20:32, RikaPSOW wrote:
1. me and her have been going out for about a month, we knew eachother for like 4 or five months beforehand, i haven't met her in person
2. not saying, lol
3. we talk to eachother on xbl sometimes on the phone, and we play psu together, o and tlak on aim
and i love her a lot



For one, your ages are a very important factor in this (though it's somewhat implied you're in your teens).

For two, be careful with throwing around the "L" word. A long distance relationship (or at least one wher eyou have not met in person) with someone you talk to a lot and confide to is not the equivalent of love.

[Nitro Vordex]

Love=/=<18 years old.

True Story.

*ahem* Anyway, I think if you were anything more than friends(on the friends spectrum, mind you) you just may have effectively ruined your relationship.

Or, she's telling her friends everything you say. Be careful, they WILL do that.

[RikaPSOW]

ok ill say this, im in my late teens, and she's in her early teens. we both say we love eachother, and all the time we say it. I'm not a "normal" teen. I don't act my age.... (well try not to, at least). She doesn't seen to act her age either.

i know some of her friends, and they seem to really like me. They say im "the best she every had"

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-08 20:44 ]</font>

[Nitro Vordex]

Um, when you say late teens, do you mean 18-19 or 16-17.

when I hear early teens, I think of 12-14. You'd better clarify.

[RikaPSOW]

18
(now i get flamed)


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-08 20:46 ]</font>

[ABDUR101]

On 2008-04-08 20:32, RikaPSOW wrote:
1. me and her have been going out for about a month, we knew eachother for like 4 or five months beforehand, i haven't met her in person

Cha-ching. Haven't met each other, its an online relationship. Communication and trust is key, and they tie together. Aswell, only a month in and you're already having doubts and troubles.(Thus where I said in another thread that being 'with' someone provides its full gamut of issues to be dealt with.)



2. not saying, lol

Well you were born on Aug 8, 1989, I was born August 7th, 1983. Not sure why you'd try to hide age, as whether you think so or not it does play into the equation. If she's four years younger than you, think of how you acted at that age and your mentallity level. If she's much older than you, that plays into it aswell. If she's younger and saying 'brb' and not coming back for an hour(or 'falling asleep' and not letting you know), she might just be absent minded and not communicating with you properly. If she's older than you, there isn't much excuse for saying "brb" or 'falling asleep'. It's a cop-out, lack of communication breaks trust, which leads to bad conclusions you make on your own. (i.e. is she cheating on me, etc) Let me tell you this, no one says 'brb' and then falls asleep; no one with an ounce of courtesy anyway. I imagine you should be expecting much more respect than that, and if you had any balls you'd bring that up with her; communicate.



3. we talk to eachother on xbl sometimes on the phone, and we play psu together, o and tlak on aim
and i love her a lot

This isn't really saying much, but as a long distance relationship its the best you can manage.


My honest opinion? Start being honest with those of whom you want an honest opinion from. Don't ask us for our opinion on a matter you're not fully ready to divulge answers to. Don't say you'll answer any questions, and then refuse to answer questions; of all the questions to refuse to answer you'd refuse to answer age?

Go talk to her about it, we're a peanut gallery. I could give any number of possible scenarios, but would you want conjecture from some random prick on an internet forum, or hear it from the horse's mouth? Go talk to her about your issues, if you don't like the answers you get, move on.

Aswell, don't throw the word 'love' around so readily. You haven't met her yet, you love the idea of her, not her.

Goodluck, you're going to need it.

[Nitro Vordex]

*flamed* http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

Well. I'll try to keep this as unbiased as possible.

When you started, there was already a problem. If she's not talking to you, there's many good reasons.

The parents found out. Nowadays, well, lets just say many people can "overreact".
Her friends found out(and think she's cool/not cool/possibly a slut, life is harsh now)
She doesn't know what to think of herself.
Her friends don't believe her, and she's trying to convince them you're not bad.

She might not have had any of this. She just might be trying to figure a way out, without telling you directly. I honestly can't think of anything good coming out of this.

Just be careful, eh? I don't think you're bad. This might turn out to be a potentially bad decision.
My advice: End it. So nothing else happens before it starts.

The above is mostly if she's <16.

Greater than 16. I dunno. =/ She just might be busy, don't worry about it.

looks like Abdur posted his wisdom again. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Nitro_Vordex on 2008-04-08 20:59 ]</font>

[BlaizeYES]

yea, i wish i could reply here, because i CRAVE it, but you already got your answer already. and personally, i think she's trying to avoid you. to tell you the truth, i do the "i'll call you right back" on the phone and never call back, and then when people try to talk to you online i'll say "brb," because most of the time there's a time and a place for talking "deep" or "meaningful," and a majority of the time i'm on the phone or online, i dont expect to be sitting down and allow myself hours on end to chat... maybe she sees your guy's conversations as redundant now because you keep saying "i love you" and she knows theres no way to actually go any "farther" with this little role playing venture over the internet? you said you love each other, yet you've never met each other in person. maybe she actually found someone she could say "i love you" to that is actually in her life, and your purpose has been fulfilled as the "online boyfriend to cater to her emotional void." oh well, this topic is already done

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

On 2008-04-08 20:13, RikaPSOW wrote:
She would say brb, 40 minutes later she comes back.This is really hard to explain well. I'll answer any questions. O she also pulled a brb and fell asleep on me.........


BRB/AFK used interchangeably here, you understand?

Quickly got to get off the PC/away from the ol' screen, you say what? A brb or an afk. Same deal.

I don't understand why you're worrying about it, seems like a small problem there, plus its not even a question!



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: HAYABUSA-FMW- on 2008-04-08 22:30 ]</font>

[RikaPSOW]

I just wanted to know what you guy/girls thought. I'm not really good at this. I just wanted your opinions. ABDUR101, I am honest with her. I do communicate with her. I'm trying really hard to keep me and her's relationship together. Does anyone have any ideas of how to keep it together? (considering her age)

[Nitro Vordex]

Find a new god girlfriend.

[RikaPSOW]

i don't want a new gf ><

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

On 2008-04-09 05:16, RikaPSOW wrote:
Does anyone have any ideas of how to keep it together? (considering her age)

What else are you planning to or even can do besides these chats back and forth?

Phone call?
Meet up?

Meet up is what the goal is really. Can't have much of any relationship without meeting the other person, in person.

Bonus, discussing it with-"you don't know what to do," on the internet forums as ABDUR said, with randoms who aren't involved and most likely shouldn't be seems to be more about you're unsure/trying to find yourself, are kinda doubting it being anything/going anywhere in the first place? Same as a diary or blog I suppose.

Telling the truth straight up with them by saying you are discussing this online with randoms, this mate has every reason to be mad you're discussing the relationship on the internet - even if the relationship seems entirely internet based. Relationships fold for even less.

[RikaPSOW]

HAYABUSA-FMW-, i don't understand your second post completly. Can you simplify it for me please? Accually, the last sentence
"Relationships fold for even less", I don't understand.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

On 2008-04-09 08:27, RikaPSOW wrote:
HAYABUSA-FMW-, i don't understand your second post completly. Can you simplify it for me please? Accually, the last sentence
"Relationships fold for even less", I don't understand.


Not to be discouraging, but you've heard that relationships can be fickle and dissolve/end/break-up for less, right? Break ups happen over what is considered small problems or reasons by people looking in.

Its not entirely the reason exactly, but what starts the ball rolling to a quick end. It may have been on a crash course and any withheld feelings get put into the event.

But with these topics, its best not to tell someone how to live their life as it will usually be biased and or fall on deaf ears - you're not really going to change your life by what someone online, you've not known for any time says.

Your life, your trial and error.

We can't really predict what's going to happen or tell you the right things to do to get the right result. But talking it out is fine. I'm not saying discussing this here will = relationship over, you made a big mistake here. Just saying something you might have not thought of yet, different view on the situation.

[Inazuma]

On 2008-04-08 22:30, HAYABUSA-FMW- wrote:

On 2008-04-08 20:13, RikaPSOW wrote:
She would say brb, 40 minutes later she comes back.This is really hard to explain well. I'll answer any questions. O she also pulled a brb and fell asleep on me.........


BRB/AFK used interchangeably here, you understand?

Quickly got to get off the PC/away from the ol' screen, you say what? A brb or an afk. Same deal.

I don't understand why you're worrying about it, seems like a small problem there, plus its not even a question!



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: HAYABUSA-FMW- on 2008-04-08 22:30 ]</font>


BRB = Be Right Back
AFK = Away From Keyboard

if someone uses BRB, they should come back soon. if they use AFK, they can be gone for any amount of time. they are not the same.

and for the OP:
you are treating this girl too highly, which will cause her to lose respect for you. saying you love her is really a bad idea. YOU should be the one saying brb and never returning. and you are too young to be having a GF anyway. just have sex w/ girls who live close to you. girls that are of legal age, btw.

[Solstis]

On 2008-04-09 09:41, Inazuma wrote:

On 2008-04-08 22:30, HAYABUSA-FMW- wrote:

On 2008-04-08 20:13, RikaPSOW wrote:
She would say brb, 40 minutes later she comes back.This is really hard to explain well. I'll answer any questions. O she also pulled a brb and fell asleep on me.........


BRB/AFK used interchangeably here, you understand?

Quickly got to get off the PC/away from the ol' screen, you say what? A brb or an afk. Same deal.

I don't understand why you're worrying about it, seems like a small problem there, plus its not even a question!



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: HAYABUSA-FMW- on 2008-04-08 22:30 ]</font>


BRB = Be Right Back
AFK = Away From Keyboard

if someone uses BRB, they should come back soon. if they use AFK, they can be gone for any amount of time. they are not the same.

and for the OP:
you are treating this girl too highly, which will cause her to lose respect for you. saying you love her is really a bad idea. YOU should be the one saying brb and never returning. and you are too young to be having a GF anyway. just have sex w/ girls who live close to you. girls that are of legal age, btw.


This is terrible advice. 1. I didn't know that 18 was too young to date, and 2., you basically just told him to treat women like dirt.

If you only want an online relationship, go ahead and have one. Also, if she's that much younger, you probably shouldn't meet in person. Nothing you can do other than try to keep the communication going. Trying to switch around and avoiding her or leaving your computer out of spite is just passive aggressive crap.

[Inazuma]

you would be very surprised how treating a woman like dirt actually works out. basically, you want to act like you dont really care about her. dont compliment her. dont buy her gifts. dont open the door for her. say you will call her, then dont, etc. she will be all over you. seriously, try it out. it works great.

im saying the OP shouldnt have any serious relationships, just have fun.

[BlaizeYES]

LOL, ok well if it was in real life, it isnt "off limits" saying "you love someone." i think i've actually had a time or two in my life when i've said it.

but you know what happens after you say it? not over the internet, but actually say it? you're held to a certain standard... mostly true when you're younger, and you say it. its like whenever there was an empty moment in conversation or you'd be chilling there with her, the "i love you" thing would come up again because it "gives them butterflies." again and again and again and again. but nothing else of fun or interest is really discussed. i mean it's alright to bring it up once if you feel that way, but you shouldnt have your entire relationship circle around that concept. its not a movie, but everyone always thinks it is. they think that when they reach their "peak," its almost manditory to say it. forget about how well things were going, they need to "say it" to finish their "love story." and usually, in these chick flicks that end up with the "i love you"s in it, what happens to the main characters? one must DIE, VANISH FOREVER, or THE MOVIE ENDS. thats not supposed to be the peak of the relationship in real life, and i know from the past, it was after the "i love you" and the repeated sayings by the other party... it was that phrase which caused a rapid decline in quality and reliability of the relationship. suddenly, anything could cause sparks for another argument, with the ending to the argument being, naturally, "I LOVE YOU." NO.


MORAL OF THE STORY: if you're going to say "i love you," actually know what you're saying. it isnt that you should say it, but normally at such a young age, it's best to not get into it because you hardly understand the emotion

[RikaPSOW]

i don't want to treat her like "dirt". All girls deserve respect. A lot of guys I see don't give girls respect. I want to give my gf respect. She deserves it.

I know saying "I love you" does make it "happy ever after"


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-09 11:44 ]</font>

[BlaizeYES]

she's not your girlfriend. and she's not coming back. lol, no offense, but it's true. your online girlfirend is not your girlfriend

[RikaPSOW]

BlaizeYES
I would rather her be my gf than anyone else. I wish she did live closer to me and was a little older. I don't even like any of the girls that live by me. Me and her want to meet eachother too.





<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-09 11:52 ]</font>

[enoch]

I had an online reltionship once...I used the L word alot lol its a big mistake. teens are hormonal as hell. gald Im almost done being one.
blaize and others, you cant get through to a stubborn teen who thinks hes in love, I KNOW, they just gotta learn the hard way

although..... >.> strange things happen

honestly though, if your thinking of keeping it together then go meet her. its like the only way to keep these things together.

I lost my online gf 3 years ago and Im just now about to meet her for the first time irl
its a whole different story when you think about it

also consider the fact that its online and you havent really met her or in fact LIVED with her. so many issues lol i can teven start to go into it!once you live with someone the skeletons come out hahahahahahhahaHAHAHAHAHAHA >.> really




<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: enoch on 2008-04-09 12:07 ]</font>
did I mention girls are aliens? make sure you know that


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: enoch on 2008-04-09 12:15 ]</font>

[Darkly]

hmmm, so to begin with RikaPSOW - I don't know too much of the situation but have you asked her why she's gone for such a long time?

also are you sure she just isn't stringing you along? she might not be taking you seriously after all you are just a voice in her head...

Some girls like to play games with guys, additionally Inazuma is right - girl's DO NOT find clingy guys attractive, it shows off a real insecurity with yourself, to elaborate i had a socially awkward friend who bagged a girlfriend, only to be dumped later the night becuase he kept asking her if she's alright. I do digress but my point is that you may think you are being caring and loving etc. but to the girl you may be just pissing her off.

I may be completly wrong but they are my two cents from someone from the internet.

[SabZero]

How about. "Say what yu mean and mean what you say".

Also, don't over estimate the relationship. Try to have a look at it with the pink glassess off. I know that that's hard to do.

[Kent]

On 2008-04-09 11:45, RikaPSOW wrote:
I would rather her be my gf than anyone else. I wish she did live closer to me and was a little older. I don't even like any of the girls that live by me. Me and her want to meet eachother too.

I think it'd be abnormal if this weren't the answer - however, it's so stereotypical that anyone could see it coming from a mile away.

...Don't take that in the wrong way.

The fact of the matter is... Yes, these sorts of relationships can work out, but that doesn't mean they will. Don't get too incredibly attached, because it's easy for people to betray or mislead others, when they're not physically nearby.

And don't worry about extended times away from the computer. Real life happens, and there's not much you can do about it other than let it happen. It happens to me, even, where I'll be in the middle of a conversation, and something comes up, and I'm away for the next couple hours - it's not something that abnormal.

It's not necessarily always a bad thing to develop feelings for someone in an online relationship (and anyone who tells you that they can never work immediately loses a substantial amount of credibility, of course), but you have to realize that it's a lot easier to lose someone like when you aren't within distance to see each other. As unfortunate of a truth as it is, you have to realize it, and don't let your feelings cloud your vision from the fact that it's entirely possible.

Also: If she's underage, tread lightly. You have to respect the law, even if you're one of those mushy types that thinks love is above the law.

It isn't. Don't try anything stupid.

[BlaizeYES]

i'm apologize, i was being a little rough earlier and i can sense some hostility. i just figure that someone who can "give all their emotions" into someone else over the internet without actually meeting that person and spending time with them, they are just creating a make-believe person in their head. like how kids might talk about how "cool miley cyrus is when we got autographs... how she acts, i KNOW we'd definitely be best friends." but in reality, if HANNAH MONTANA was an everyday jane, there would be no friendship there at all... they're attracted to an image, or a concept. the younger people are, the more likely they are to overlook something so they feel something they WANT to feel. and they WANT to be loved by their "dream person."


rikapsow, i'll just ask you this... say you guys met up, do you think you'd be together forever? or would it be just another box full of "mandy moore" posters when you rode that little "love" obsession straight to the end? lol, thats the last i'll post in this subject, this has been a reoccuring subject

[RikaPSOW]

ok i know why she goes brb and such. Its alright with why she goes brb. I just think she just does it too much. Also I wanted to know what you guys think.

BlaizeYES its ok ty. To answer your question. I hope me and her are together forever. I know theres not "fixed".





<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-09 19:08 ]</font>

[McLaughlin]

Do you even have any plans to meet? Or is that just a pipe dream?

If you're already irritated with her real life interrupting your conversation too much, then I don't really know what I should say.

Do you even know what she looks like? Or are you in "love" with an avatar?

[AlphaMinotaux]

I use BRB and don't come back for hours half the time.

[RikaPSOW]

We do want to meet, and yes I know what she looks like.

[McLaughlin]

That's not what I asked. Do you have any plans to do so, or is this going to go on indefinitely?

[enoch]

wanting is always a good idea lol, but it takes ACTION to make it happen

[Sychosis]

On 2008-04-09 20:08, Obsidian_Knight wrote:
Do you even have any plans to meet? Or is that just a redundant fallacy of a pipe dream?


Made a slight correction. Don't worry Obs, I'm always lookin' out for ya. ::nods::

[McLaughlin]

How could I have been so foolish? A thousand thank-you's Sychosis.

[MayLee]

On 2008-04-09 09:41, Inazuma wrote:

BRB = Be Right Back
AFK = Away From Keyboard

if someone uses BRB, they should come back soon. if they use AFK, they can be gone for any amount of time. they are not the same.

and for the OP:
you are treating this girl too highly, which will cause her to lose respect for you. saying you love her is really a bad idea. YOU should be the one saying brb and never returning. and you are too young to be having a GF anyway. just have sex w/ girls who live close to you. girls that are of legal age, btw.

What the fuck kind of advice is that? Have you been dropped on your head a couple times as a newborn child?



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: MayLee on 2008-04-10 11:56 ]</font>

[RikaPSOW]

thanks maylee http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime1.gif

[Seority]

WHY DOES AGE MATTER SO @#$@#&%@!# MUCH!?!??!?!
http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_argh.gif http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_argh.gif http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_argh.gif
-I'm done....-

[ABDUR101]

On 2008-04-12 09:29, Seority wrote:
WHY DOES AGE MATTER SO @#$@#&%@!# MUCH!?!??!?!
http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_argh.gif http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_argh.gif http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_argh.gif
-I'm done....-


Age matters because life experience is different at different ages, thus different outlooks and a standard medium of 'maturity' deprived from such life experience.

Overall, age doesn't matter if you have a good head on your shoulders; but we all know that isn't often the case.

Though I'm sure age matters in the eyes of the law too, for some reason.

[Nitro Vordex]

On 2008-04-12 09:29, Seority wrote:
WHY DOES AGE MATTER SO @#$@#&%@!# MUCH!?!??!?!
http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_argh.gif http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_argh.gif http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_argh.gif
-I'm done....-


You can't tell me a 40 year old with a 14 year old doesn't disgust or at least repulse you.

Or bother. >_>;

[Wheatpenny]

On 2008-04-09 11:37, RikaPSOW wrote:
i don't want to treat her like "dirt". All girls deserve respect. A lot of guys I see don't give girls respect. I want to give my gf respect. She deserves it.

I know saying "I love you" does make it "happy ever after"


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-09 11:44 ]</font>


No, the girls that manipulate and hurt guys/girls because they are that mean do deserve to be treated like the dirt they are.


The good ones on the otherhand yes they deserve respect.

The key is being able to spot the difference, a lesson I had to learn through hard knocks let me tell ya.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Wheatpenny on 2008-04-12 15:57 ]</font>

[Wheatpenny]

On 2008-04-08 20:13, RikaPSOW wrote:
Ok, i have a gf. She usually makes me wait a lot before i can talk to her. I mean a lot. Anyones's opinions on this. For example..... She would say brb, 40 minutes later she comes back.This is really hard to explain well. I'll answer any questions. O she also pulled a brb and fell asleep on me.........




I seen a lot of post and a lotta good rational advice that the fine upstanding folks of PSOW have been issuing here bro.

Let me tell you a story.

My sister met some guy on the internet, they talked on yahoo msger for like 2 years. Finaly he moves in with us, first couple weeks they were all like lovey dovey, eventualy tension started building and they started fighting constantly, eventualy my mother had enough and sent her BF packing.

Moral of the story is that even though she talked to this person constantly for 2 YEARS their relationship ended in a relationshit because both of them had false expectations for each other.

I think that this is the big point a lot of folks have been trying to bring to you.

She says brb or afk and doesen't come back, if it happend like once, probably no big deal, if it happens a bunch of times and it bothers you that bad you should ask about it.

But lets be frank the faceless leigon of the internet is not always the best place to turn to for advice..you should be looking to yourself for answers on this conundrum friend.

Make up your mind for yourself, don't let others do it for you.

and yes I know based uppon what I just said I invalidated my whole post, it is what it is either you glean some nugget of potential truth or you don't. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif





<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Wheatpenny on 2008-04-12 16:11 ]</font>

[Wheatpenny]

On 2008-04-09 10:05, Inazuma wrote:
you would be very surprised how treating a woman like dirt actually works out. basically, you want to act like you dont really care about her. dont compliment her. dont buy her gifts. dont open the door for her. say you will call her, then dont, etc. she will be all over you. seriously, try it out. it works great.

im saying the OP shouldnt have any serious relationships, just have fun.



You know as much as I disagree with this behavior Inazuma is right, I am nice and respectfull to women all the time and I either get the shaft or locked away in the friend zone only to see the same woman go out and gush over some ignorant dickhead.

Fate just sucks sometimes lol.

[RikaPSOW]

Seority, i like your post, but i think ABDUR101 probably right....
i still love my gf though http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime1.gif



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-12 18:26 ]</font>

[SStrikerR]

^ then what do you want from us man!?!?

[Nitro Vordex]

On 2008-04-12 19:32, Ryan113 wrote:
^ then what do you want from us man!?!?


Excuses to stay with who he's with.

[enoch]

stubborn teen >.>....pointless to argue

[thunder-ray]

Live and Learn thats what its all about in life.

[RikaPSOW]

hey.., i just want your opinions..., geez.....

[DreXxiN]

I Think in a very small chance, teens can fall in love.

This seems more like infatuation. If you can't keep the main ingredient of the relationship stable (Trust, and you'll need LOTS of it, because it's an intarwebz relationship). YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF THERE. Don't be ignorant and think you've found "the one", you'll only get crushed. I know it's very difficult but you HAVE to bear with it.

Trust me, learn from me. I don't suspect this will do much, but if this relationship goes haywire and ends, you'll know you should have taken the advice.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: DreXxiN on 2008-04-13 07:01 ]</font>

[Seority]

I'd rather take peoples personalities when I try to help them out, rather then their age. I don't believe it matters because you can talk to person A who seems to be 20 or so in their speech, and person B who acts 12, just to find out person A is acctually 14 and person B is 30. It really doesn't matter on the webs, or anywhere for that fact.
If anything, person A has a much better life ahead of them to be so mature at that age, beacause they have so much more time in their life to learn even more that person B has decided to waste away with.

[RikaPSOW]

Seority, i agree

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

On 2008-04-09 09:41, Inazuma wrote:
[spoiler-box]
On 2008-04-08 22:30, HAYABUSA-FMW- wrote:

On 2008-04-08 20:13, RikaPSOW wrote:
She would say brb, 40 minutes later she comes back.This is really hard to explain well. I'll answer any questions. O she also pulled a brb and fell asleep on me.........


BRB/AFK used interchangeably here, you understand?

Quickly got to get off the PC/away from the ol' screen, you say what? A brb or an afk. Same deal.
[/spoiler-box]

BRB = Be Right Back
AFK = Away From Keyboard

if someone uses BRB, they should come back soon. if they use AFK, they can be gone for any amount of time. they are not the same.

Right, but this was an explanation for this "misunderstanding" the OP has. As in the person being chatted with didn't use the right 3 letter acronym a few times, again, not a big deal.

#2,

Don't spam this topic, even if its lighthearted, damn.

[RikaPSOW]

she never uses "afk", she only uses "brb"

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Simple solution.

Ask why she doesn't use AFK then explain why you're getting worried about being left hanging on a BRB, that is if you can't get over the BRB and will sit there freaking out forever.

Or try to get her to use AFK if she's off for the night.

The answers are right there, in you the whole time. Not in this topic.

[RikaPSOW]

well i just wanted your opinions..., i know why she does it. i freak out because thats part of my personality (i can't help it). I get really worried .....

[Raine_Loire]

I am rofl at this whooooole topic. rof freakin l. Internet love, teenage love, this is all ripe for a Raine Lecture, but I'll abstain.

OK, sidebar, when I was 15, I met this 19 year old guy on AIM (it was new back then lol) and my parents didn't know. See, they didn't have the internet. So during movie time, I'd be like "Oh, I have to go to the bathroom" and sneak into my dad's office, put the phone cord in the computer, sign into AOL as a guest, and IM for about 15 or 20 minutes each time. It was like- 5 minutes of work for 20 minutes of talking. So sometimes I'd think I hear someone, and I'd say "BRB" (because OBVIOUSLY I didn't want him to KNOW I was a 15 year old kid sneaking around!) and yank the plug out of the computer. If it WAS my dad, there was no way I could get back on to say bye, so he was left with a BRB. When I finally told him my age, a lot became clearer for him. Anyway, I digress. She could be sneaking around lol. As for my future with that dude, we talked for 2 years, but never threw out the L word. We had thought we were heading that way, but after a year, we just became good friends, and helped each other through RL relationships. I googled him the other day and saw a current pic, and WHOA I dodged a bullet with that one! Most guys are done growing by the time they're 19... this guy's nose kept right on growing!!

However, the age thing was never really an issue; he loved thinking he was the voice of "experience" though. He was a real "Mature" guy, loved Ansel Adams, and Indie Rock, and "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" type stuff. He loved to think he was deep. Really, from an adult perspective, he was a patronizing ass, but I learned a lot trying to impress him. We didn't speak for weeks when he found out I beat his SAT and ACT scores, lol.

[RikaPSOW]

Yeah, pretty much my gf trying to not let her parents find out. But when she falls asleep on me...., hate that.

[enoch]

On 2008-04-16 05:15, Raine_Loire wrote:
I am rofl at this whooooole topic. rof freakin l. Internet love, teenage love, this is all ripe for a Raine Lecture, but I'll abstain.

OK, sidebar, when I was 15, I met this 19 year old guy on AIM (it was new back then lol) and my parents didn't know. See, they didn't have the internet. So during movie time, I'd be like "Oh, I have to go to the bathroom" and sneak into my dad's office, put the phone cord in the computer, sign into AOL as a guest, and IM for about 15 or 20 minutes each time. It was like- 5 minutes of work for 20 minutes of talking. So sometimes I'd think I hear someone, and I'd say "BRB" (because OBVIOUSLY I didn't want him to KNOW I was a 15 year old kid sneaking around!) and yank the plug out of the computer. If it WAS my dad, there was no way I could get back on to say bye, so he was left with a BRB. When I finally told him my age, a lot became clearer for him. Anyway, I digress. She could be sneaking around lol. As for my future with that dude, we talked for 2 years, but never threw out the L word. We had thought we were heading that way, but after a year, we just became good friends, and helped each other through RL relationships. I googled him the other day and saw a current pic, and WHOA I dodged a bullet with that one! Most guys are done growing by the time they're 19... this guy's nose kept right on growing!!

However, the age thing was never really an issue; he loved thinking he was the voice of "experience" though. He was a real "Mature" guy, loved Ansel Adams, and Indie Rock, and "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" type stuff. He loved to think he was deep. Really, from an adult perspective, he was a patronizing ass, but I learned a lot trying to impress him. We didn't speak for weeks when he found out I beat his SAT and ACT scores, lol.



jeeez raine, this was ripe for your lecture >.>
I wish I would have been smart like you. I did the same when I was 15 (but so was teh girl) but the L word flew out like every ten seconds online AND on the phone. Its imature and it caused a failed relationship causing me to lose contact with the girl for 4 F-ing years who I could have (maybe still can if Im lucky cause Im finally old enough to see be with her irl >.>) been with. so Raines right. dont go spitting the L-word. things get scary. oh yea and girls aare aliens.....

[Raine_Loire]

On 2008-04-16 07:05, enoch wrote:
[
jeeez raine, this was ripe for your lecture >.>



I know, right?

I was like "ah ha ha ha bingo! Welcome to Hell, suckers!" But then I realized all the hot spots of this topic are discussed in other threads, and I hate repeating myself, the kiddies find me boring enough already, mwah ha ha ha ha!!!

Seriously though, maybe she falls asleep to make the time until she talks to you go faster, huh? I knew a guy in FFXI who had a gf who fell asleep as they were playing. Using Teamspeak, no less! Turns out she was narcoleptic... or had brain damage I can't remember which. Anyway- they didn't last long. She dumped him for being boring, lol!

[enoch]

wow thats kinda scary o.o
seriously who gets dumped for being boring?
*raises hand* ido..
but lol wow. Ive fallen asleep on the phone with a girl, XD she thought her house was haunted, so I stayed up till 4am to keep her from freaking out and then I crashed without hanging up

[Seority]

I've done that too enoch, but no ones ever called me boring O.o'

[RikaPSOW]

at least my gf doesn't call me boring (though i do find it odd that everyone else calls me boring)

[enoch]

On 2008-04-17 10:59, Seority wrote:
I've done that too enoch, but no ones ever called me boring O.o'


that was just a generalization >.>"""""" i get dumped by everyone....i must be a dumpster

[Seority]

I bet NONE of them matter.
http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[RikaPSOW]

enoch, lol
Seority, maybe

[enoch]

XD of course they dont matter, why who would dump a studly man such as myself
>.>""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

sorry seority
but girls are aliens

you might be an exception since your my man drexxins girl, but idk....

[Mixfortune]

You basically should not worry about thinking like going away for 40 minutes, especially in an online relationship. It's really not that long of a time, especially when there's real life things going on all the time for all parties.

If you seem to show concern about 40 minutes, it's not necessarily showing to her you're caring more, it's more showing that you're hanging onto her too close, and she may feel stifled a bit as such. Try to lay back and don't appear as needy, even if in your eyes you do not feel you are.

There's lots worse than falling asleep or AFKing for 40 minutes. When you know a person by online interactions only you have to consider neither party can be constantly at the computer screen all day every day. Just relax, it doesn't mean anything on it's own, and worrying about it will more than likely make yourself feel worse, while making her uncomfortable.

[enoch]

take this for example. once i had an online "deal" going. and I didnt see the girl for like a month XD it turns out we were on different IPs XDXDXDXD

[thunder-ray]

WOW O_O internet love sure can hurt at times >.<

[RikaPSOW]

Mixfortune, i think your right, i shouldn't hold on to her so close, but I like to always be there for her. I even asked her if I talk to her too much. She says I'm not, so I keep talking to her a lot.

[enoch]

O.o!!!!!!!!! girls NEVER say what they mean!!!!!!!!!! at least in my expirience. you have ot read them....they will tell you everything is ok, but its not....m aybe the more mature ones are honest idk o.o

[RikaPSOW]

hm...., i guess they don't



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-18 14:09 ]</font>

[enoch]

its a joke lol, Im talking about personal expeirence. the truth is, no one can really know your situation and you will only learn through expierience (unless your like me heh >.>"""")
so just do what you feel is right, thats the most anyone can ask of you.(jeez, how clche and that?)

[RikaPSOW]

I have no experience... -.-, so i don't know what to do, that's why I went here. lol

[DreXxiN]

When trust is broken, the relationship will fall. I say let things go as they are, don't be too weary of what's going on, and just relax. If she does anything to you behind you rback, you don't deserve it anyway. Trust me, take me and enoch's word, we both know. (If He remembers what I'm talking about. xD)

[RikaPSOW]

Well she broke my trust a few times, but i forgave her. Now she tells me everything. (i think)

[thunder-ray]

Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. If the two people in the relationship cant trust one another then whats the point?

[RikaPSOW]

your right

[RikaPSOW]

well today sucks, i think her parents found out ;_;

(sorry could of edited my previous post)

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-19 10:43 ]</font>

[enoch]

T.T oh man, thats going to be a whole new hell for you.
last time a girl said she tells em everything, she MEANT to say, I tell you everything except the truth n.n

[RikaPSOW]

ennoch, lol
anyway, what should i do about her parents?

and officially i think her parents are morons

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-19 12:22 ]</font>

[enoch]

well eh... from personal expierience o.o, I dont think there is anything you can do that will make them NOT hate you......if you really serious, I think an real life meeting would be appropriate. my parents made my life HELL when i did that.

[RikaPSOW]

Her parents think i'm trying to get info from her to hack her xbox live accont. Her parents are so stupid. Thats an all time low. I think if I ever talked to her parents, I wouldn't be so nice. They don't deserve respect in my opinion.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-19 14:31 ]</font>

[enoch]

well put yourself 9in their position. I mean, parents are just doing there job. no matter how stupid it seems. I think if they met you irl and her, things would be easier

then again Im not really known for giving advice....

[thunder-ray]

It wouldve been best if u had told your girlfriend to talk to her parents about you first. To see if they couldve gotten to know you first since to them your just a stranger in their eyes.

[RikaPSOW]

she's scared to..... talk to ger parents

shes starting to piss me off ><

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-19 17:38 ]</font>

[enoch]

inb4firstfight

[RikaPSOW]

lol, nah, i can't be mad at her, its not her fault

[thunder-ray]

Hey umm if you dont mind me askeing how old are the two of you?

[RikaPSOW]

if you read the begining of the topic....., lol
it says im 18. i dont think i mentioned shes 14



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-20 07:52 ]</font>

[thunder-ray]

Well that could be the root of the problem right there. She's to young for you to date anyway. If the parents are strict on her dating certain boys of certain ages then it might cause a bit of trouble.

[RikaPSOW]

Her parents are just evil, like they don't know about me, but they keep doing stuff to prevent me from talking to her. Her mom's punishing her for a week for forgeting to do the lundry.... (as in she can't use any internet based things for a week....)

[enoch]

lol here parents arent her. she trusts you, but they have no idea who you are! remember, geting on good terms with her parents might be a good idea. ;o imagine yourself with kids, you wouldnt want anything to happen to them, they are precious

[thunder-ray]

Enoch makes a good point there.

[enoch]

wow o.o that may be a first for me

[Nitro Vordex]

On 2008-04-19 14:29, RikaPSOW wrote:
Her parents think i'm trying to get info from her to hack her xbox live accont.
Her parents are pretty dumb. =/

[RikaPSOW]

I really think they are (well at least her mom, her mom's idea). I can't get her parents to trust me... I do think my gf trusts me.

[thunder-ray]

*signs* You cant execpt them to just out right trust you. Hell your gf didnt even tell her parents that she had a relationship with you in the first place. You cant just say her parents are evil just because they dont trust you. Just remember that the both of you didnt tell her parents and decied to keep it a secret. You cant honestly think for one secound that her parents are going to trust a stranger that they dont even know.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: thunder-ray on 2008-04-21 08:15 ]</font>

[enoch]

why is this topic still here..... (im to blame partly probably) all the other topics like this died long ago

[RikaPSOW]

idk why it's still here, but I like this topic http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime1.gif (wish I accually didn't have to complain though)

[enoch]

well yea, who doesnt like their own topic XD
oh no...Im prolonging it again....

[thunder-ray]

Ya well im finished with this topic anyways. Its rather pointless to contiune this rant.

[enoch]

you say that now...but you will be back thunder,,,you cant resist the thread! o.O

[Seority]

<Insert final words.>
Thanks for the support, but just because I'm Drex's girl, doesn't instantly make me a good person, nor smart. His past gf was past anything I could explain as a bad person, but that's not my business. I just happen to have a decent personality and play games a lot better then his previous. Oh yeah, and he asked for my hand too. I suppose that says something. :?

[RikaPSOW]

enoch and thunder, lol
happy for u seority

[BlaizeYES]

On 2008-04-19 14:29, RikaPSOW wrote:
Her parents think i'm trying to get info from her to hack her xbox live accont. Her parents are so stupid. Thats an all time low. I think if I ever talked to her parents, I wouldn't be so nice. They don't deserve respect in my opinion.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-19 14:31 ]</font>




...


and you're 18. she's 14. you've never met her. you're not going "to give parents respect" because a freshman girl thinks shes in love with some 18 year old man. yes, "young man." and a little "girl." falling in "love." over the internet. and both people are calling it a relationship and talking about meeting. and are mad because the parents dont trust some guy that has been talking with a little naive freshman girl. i really just dont get it. what has happened.


stick to your school books, kid. get through school, and lets hope that you enter reality again some day.

[Nitro Vordex]

On 2008-04-20 16:20, Nitro_Vordex wrote:

On 2008-04-19 14:29, RikaPSOW wrote:
Her parents think i'm trying to get info from her to hack her xbox live accont.
Her parents are pretty dumb. =/



On 2008-04-20 19:26, RikaPSOW wrote:
I really think they are (well at least her mom, her mom's idea). I can't get her parents to trust me... I do think my gf trusts me.


Well. When I said that, I meant either they're dumb for worrying about an Xblox account, or they're covering the real reason with that.

Of course, the post above me already said it.

[RikaPSOW]

But.... -.-
I am in reality.
I may not meet her parents ever, but that's if I do. I hope I meet them. (well obviously, if i meet them, I'm still going out with my gf)Maybe it's most likely that I won't, but I'm trying my best. Ireally care about the girl. I go out of my way all the time for her. (no she doesn't ask me to)She's my best friend too.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-22 20:14 ]</font>

[Raine_Loire]

You know when I first read this thread, I thought you were a Scandinavian or something with an American gf. Or a kid. But according to your profile, neither of these is true. Weird.

Anyway, you're almost 19, and you're writing things about your gf's parents calling them stupid and saying if you meet them you wouldn't be polite to them? You're kidding right? You're UPSET that they don't trust an adult male with their daughter? You do realize that what you're doing is illegal if you ask her to meet you IRL, right?

Have you even thought of your GF as a person instead of just words on a screen? Do you know anything about 14 year old girls? She hasn't reached her full height yet, her chest is just now starting to develop... regardless of how "mature" she is, she's a little girl. So you know what, if she was MY little girl, I'd be on the phone with cops in my state, in your state, in all the states in between to find out what I can do about it. And if this adult man is calling me names- well, I'd be talking him directly, warning him to move on.

You are NOT in reality, as Blaize said, you're in a fantasy world based on your loneliness and a teenage girl's fantasies. And if you WERE in reality you wouldn't say things like "I go out of my way all the time for her" because HOW? How exactly do you do that? By pulling her away from reality at a time in her life she should be experiencing ACTUAL REALITY? You had your high school experience, but you want her to miss out on HERS? You act like a kid when something comes up and BRB turns into See ya. Well I'm sorry, that's sad.

If you REALLY cared about her, you'd step back from her until she was an adult and looking for the same things out of a relationship that you are.

[RikaPSOW]

Rain, um, isn't that a little um...., mean..........(and by the way, she's my first gf ever...., so you could imagine I don't really know what to do)Fine, I'll admit I'm being a brat about it, but geez, why so negitive towards me. That accually hurt.... I may be 18, and she may be 14, but I just became an adult not to long ago. I'm not like most guys. I do care about her personality. That's mean how negitive you are toward me.






<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-23 11:28 ]</font>

[Alizarin]

If she's your first, then you really have to consider what you're getting yourself into. You're lacking in the experience department so you come here to ask about our thoughts and options. This is a very tricky situation, and it doesn't fare well in your favor now that her parents found out and are actively involved.

The law will be against your side since she is still considered a minor and you're not. Her parents can be easily justified if they don't trust someone who their daughter met online and not in person. They may take a lot of unusual measures as they are now. Getting mad at them will make the situation worse, since if the parents take that response as their first impression then it would further confirm their distrust.

By the way, the feeling of having your first girlfriend is great, I admit. But don't think this will be your one and only. I highly suggest you take it slow and cautiously if you want to continue pursuing this relationship, and really take the time to see how your girlfriend feels about it when you have the opportunity.

[CupOfCoffee]

I don't think it's mean at all. Everyone here's been telling you the same thing, again and again, and it's still right. The bottom line:

This situation is extremely creepy.

This is exactly the kind of thing that gives parents reason take the computers out of their kids' rooms. This is not a "relationship," it's an awkward-at-best, startling-and-unethical-at-worst type scenario that honestly makes me cringe in embarrassment for all parties involved when I think about it. I don't mean to offend you or pop your bubble too gleefully, but seriously, dude, take a step back and look at this objectively. I don't question the validity of internet friendships, and I even think e-love stuff can work for people in a certain way, but please reread this quote from Raine, who summed it up excellently.

Have you even thought of your GF as a person instead of just words on a screen? Do you know anything about 14 year old girls? She hasn't reached her full height yet, her chest is just now starting to develop... regardless of how "mature" she is, she's a little girl. So you know what, if she was MY little girl, I'd be on the phone with cops in my state, in your state, in all the states in between to find out what I can do about it.
You are at a completely different stage of life than this girl. It may feel like no one here knows the situation well enough to properly judge any part of it, but that just means that you're in fact too close to understand the reality of it. It is you who can't judge this objectively.

14. Fourteen. FOURTEEN YEARS OLD. Why you would want any kind of romantic relationship with a 14-year-old, internet based or otherwise, is no clearer to me than a quantum physics textbook in Spanish.

I guess that's all I have to say.

[Seority]

The truth, sadly, hurts Rika.
I agree with Raine about the 14 year old girls. I had a few relationships like yours when I was that age, and half of the guys I lost interest in when another came in who I thought was better.
Was that a good thing? No, but I was young and stupid. I was also extremely emotional during those years. One day I love you, the next I hate your existince, with no real reason. I did it to my parents too. Girls are cruel and meanhearted, at first. Now this girl may be smarter then me, or whatever you can say, but it's just prewarning.

None of us think less of you Rika for having an issue. We all go through it. I own a couple, "Why did he brake up with me??" rants in Gaia, so it's a phase for us all.
Best thing to do is just keep being a friend.
As far as parents go, they don't really concern you unless you really do plan to mee them, and how much your gf tells them about you. Like Raine said, they can come arrest you if they feel their baby angel is in danger.

[RikaPSOW]

Her parents don't know, but they do mean me and her's relationship difficult anyway. Maybe I do sound creepy, but geez.... If you guys knew me better you would know I am a nice guy (you guys don't though). Also besides you guy/girls telling me the same thing over and over again, this topics serves another purpose. I have a question, accually more of an example. Um..., how to ask... Okay would parents rather a complete 16 year old jerk be a girls bf or would they rather a 18 year old guy that's really nice?



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-23 11:57 ]</font>

[thunder-ray]

Well enoch wins that bet i guess i did get drawn back. To answer your question is nether of them wouldnt be able to date her.

[RikaPSOW]

My question is if you had to chose one, which would they rather?

Lol, enoch does win.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-23 12:26 ]</font>

[thunder-ray]

Well duh it would be the really nice 18 year old guy. So since ive anwsered your question heres mine. What was the point to that question?

[Raine_Loire]

No, Rika, I don't think it's mean. And Seority is right, no one thinks badly of YOU. But since we're not IN the situation, we can look at it more objectively than you can. You aren't the first 18 year old guy in history to not have a girlfriend yet. And you aren't the first 18 year old interested in a younger girl. I'm sure you are a nice guy, and no one is saying you aren't. It just strikes outside people that you MAY think you love this girl and be involved with her because... well could you maybe just be looking for SOMEONE? Maybe you just want a relationship at this point?

Either way, you're just... not thinking about what's best for you or her long term. And since you're an adult, thinking about stuff like that falls on you, not her. The point I was trying to get across to you is that if you cared about this girl, you would want to add TO her life, not take away from. And believe me, her sneaking around, being tied to one person she's never even met, and being made to feel guilty if she has something else going on in her life IS taking away from her life. Also, no one here is a legal expert, of course- but it seems to me that if someone wants to be a teacher, getting in relationships with minors isn't a wise career move.

As far as your question- I'm fairly sure no parent would wish either of those situations on their 14 year old daughters. But lets go with your situation- not all 16 year old boys are jerks, and not all of them would treat a gf like crap. Not all 18 year olds are going to treat a girl well, most would exploit her naivety. I view it this way- teenage boys of all ages want one thing out of girls- it's just the older ones who actually know what that is. And I'd much prefer my daughter date the kid that I get to meet, and get a handle on their character then sneak around behind my back with a MAN I never met. And if her parents ever find out about it, you'll both be in a lot of trouble... it's so much risk for something that has virtually NO payout...

[RikaPSOW]

thunder, just wanted to see your opinions thats all
Rain, im not saying all 16 year olds are jerks and im not saying all 18 year olds are nice guys, it's an example (geez.....)

[BlaizeYES]

lol, i know that i said my "last post" for this topic was 3 pages ago, but the last one i made was really making me lose hope for society in general. and as a humanitarian, i thought all of my efforts went meaningless. so i'll just put in a few more side comments to sum it up:

when you finally said she was 14 years old, i knew this was a problem. in HIGHSCHOOL, sophmores would go out with hotter freshman because they knew they could manipulate them. everyone freshman year is a different person than they are now, and if the girl was hot enough, some juniors will reach down to the freshman girls. and the freshman girl will always tag along overzealously, because she is getting butterflies knowing someone above her grade-wise is choosing her, of all people, to go out with them. and then you just pillage the freshman as she's trying her hardest to impress you and agree with every statement you make... because this girl is trying to adapt and "find herself" as a person and you're just twisting her already loose morals and beliefs because she looks up to you. now it's one thing being in person and doing this to a girl, because sooner or later the girl will begin to mature or you'll outgrow how boring it is being with someone so easy. or the parents can have them stop seeing each other, or it'll eventually die out, or she'll mature... something will happen. but with you, it seems like you're always there, online and just a mouseclick away, just sucking the life out of her until she eventually believes you're her dream guy that is "always going to be there," and making her completely delusional when she is probably already in a fragile state of adolescence. also, i really question how "mature" and "grown up" you really are, because you are just putting your deep desire to be loved by someone on some poor little girl over the internet.

you've graduated highschool, this girl just started. shes naive, innocent, and still a child in so many ways. you are still a child too, but you're the one fucking with her immature brain, regardless if you think so or not. and YES, it does matter if you're in person. it's sad to see someone so young and pure just get destroyed mentally because of your own warped version of "love" that you're trying to project onto this girl. this is your first relationship, and it's not even a relationship. you're always there, and you're just stripping her of her own highschool reality so you can feel "all warm inside." go watch some chick flick if you want LOVE so badly that you're willing to push yourself to believe you're in love. you're still a kid, theres no use trying to sell an emotion that you're obviously not feeling.

if you eventually met her in person, i'm sure you probably wouldnt even be going out with her. because like many other people have said, it is creepy. her friends would make sure that they told her about how "creepy" you are(if she has any friends) because some guy she met online 4 years older than her is saying he's in love without even experiencing anything REAL from it, and she'd probably lose interest.


it doesnt matter if you're a nice guy, you're still somewhat delusional. actually, no offense, but she's 14 years old... the last thing she's going to want in reality is a "nice guy." she wants someone BETTER than her due to her low self-confidence right now. but if by some AMAZING JESUS MIRACLE you met her, she'd probably bring her friends along to somewhere you two could meet up. you'd probably be really shy, hardly talk to her at all because you'd be slowly realizing how exactly you two met and how asinine the situation looks. aside from the "i love you"s, there was probably not much there, especially in conversation and in interests. you would be completely intimidated, and probably just feeling sort of out of place, and the girl would probably feel the exact same way. now lets say you do manage to muster up the courage to try to headstart a deep and meaningful conversation while you're "hanging out," you're immediately going to come off as a "friend." and she'll feel much more comfortable putting you into that category than saying that you two are "in love" like you've probably constantly been saying online, because she would be saying in her mind around the same time: "you know, i've seen the movie 'youve got mail,' and he's really no tom hanks. this isnt how the movie worked at all." eventually, you will keep trying to get a hold of her through messenging or something, and she'll start blowing you off because she already came to her revelation of it not happening. and then suddenly you're the one coming back onto pso-world, and starting a topic like someone else did about a week ago about how "your girlfriend suddenly has gotten really weird and distant" when she really wasnt your girlfriend in the first place. everyone will comment, you'll leave out details that will completely change the argument, bring the important details in by page 5, and then we'll start debating if it was even a relationship in the first place.




AND THE CYCLE WILL GO ON FOREVER



and sorry if it sounds cruel, but it's REALITY. and it's disheartening to see this happening more and more when these topics come up. i like giving advice, but some of the topics are just getting weird, and the advice is hardly favourable. AND THAT IS ALL

[Raine_Loire]

You think a 14 year old would be hoping he looked like Tom Hanks?

[RikaPSOW]

sorry for bugging you guys......

i don't get the tom hanks thing....

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-23 13:24 ]</font>

[Raine_Loire]

I was referring to this line:


BlaizeYES wrote:
she would be saying in her mind around the same time: "you know, i've seen the movie 'youve got mail,' and he's really no tom hanks. this isnt how the movie worked at all."





<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Raine_Loire on 2008-04-23 13:23 ]</font>

[RikaPSOW]

still don't understand....

[thunder-ray]

Well thanks for replying my question. I also really hope that you read what raine said on her post. I agree with what raine said 100%

[RikaPSOW]

I've read everyone's post.....

[thunder-ray]

If you read everyones post did you understand what they were trying to tell you?

[RikaPSOW]

Of couse I do.
In all of your opinions, dating this girl is wrong.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-23 13:40 ]</font>

[BlaizeYES]

On 2008-04-23 13:10, Raine_Loire wrote:
You think a 14 year old would be hoping he looked like Tom Hanks?





hahahah, alright i just reread my post. tom hanks doesnt fit the context, but what i was trying to say is that "she has this idea of how the relationship would work out because of movies or other great endings to love stories she made up in her head." the "he's no tom hanks" was in response to meeting up, really hitting it off, falling in love, and then being together forever... like in a movie. and "you got mail" was the only movie that really came to mind, and "tom hanks" came to mind immediately. i should have used someone else as an example. maybe next time i'll go with chad michael murray or someone else a little girl would obsess over.

but if you think about it raine_loire, if he really WAS tom hanks, would YOU turn him down? you cant... it's tom hanks



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: BlaizeYES on 2008-04-23 13:48 ]</font>

[RikaPSOW]

um..., lol, i'm confused

(ok i get it now after you edited it)


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-23 13:50 ]</font>

[BlaizeYES]

i edited my post, reread it because i explained the useage of tom hanks. he's one of my favorite actors, even if he didnt deserve a part in my massive post

[RikaPSOW]

BlaizeYES wrote: AND THE CYCLE WILL GO ON FOREVER
and sorry if it sounds cruel, but it's REALITY. and it's disheartening to see this happening more and more when these topics come up.

There is one thing that makes this topic different than the one's that are similar to this topic. One major difference.....



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-23 14:48 ]</font>

[enoch]

you know i never took that into account in any of my posts o.o I didnt even remember it....
she is 14... and 14 year old girls are just as dramatic as...oh say 14 year old guys...
or 18 in my case >.>

but still 14? when i was 14 the most important thing to me in the world was what kinda gel I had in my hair u.u I was pathetic....but to the point...shes still a kid
hell im still a kid (not legally but mentally o.o)




<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: enoch on 2008-04-23 14:36 ]</font>

[enoch]

On 2008-04-23 12:40, Raine_Loire wrote:
No, Rika, I don't think it's mean. And Seority is right, no one thinks badly of YOU. But since we're not IN the situation, we can look at it more objectively than you can. You aren't the first 18 year old guy in history to not have a girlfriend yet. And you aren't the first 18 year old interested in a younger girl. I'm sure you are a nice guy, and no one is saying you aren't. It just strikes outside people that you MAY think you love this girl and be involved with her because... well could you maybe just be looking for SOMEONE? Maybe you just want a relationship at this point?




dont mean to double post...but scrolling down to edit is such a pain e.e

ooooh that ones an ego crusher, but it might be true

[RikaPSOW]

On 2008-04-23 12:40, Raine_Loire wrote:
No, Rika, I don't think it's mean. And Seority is right, no one thinks badly of YOU. But since we're not IN the situation, we can look at it more objectively than you can. You aren't the first 18 year old guy in history to not have a girlfriend yet. And you aren't the first 18 year old interested in a younger girl. I'm sure you are a nice guy, and no one is saying you aren't. It just strikes outside people that you MAY think you love this girl and be involved with her because... well could you maybe just be looking for SOMEONE? Maybe you just want a relationship at this point?

I do want a relationship, but I don't go out with just anybody, geez. I'm willing to wait for the right person, and I think I found the right one.

[enoch]

HA! thats exactly what a guy looking for a relationship would say *ripis off Rikas disguise*
been there... and when your there n.n your in complete DENIAL! enjoy

[Raine_Loire]

On 2008-04-23 13:44, BlaizeYES wrote:
i should have used someone else as an example. maybe next time i'll go with chad michael murray or someone else a little girl would obsess over.



When I was 14 I thought I was in love with Scott Bakula (the guy from Quantum Leap who was old even then), Noah Wyle (from ER) and this football player in my English class that I actually failed so he'd think I was dumb like him...

I'm not sure I know what normal 14 year old girls like.

[enoch]

sounds like a normal 14 year old to me. I always tried to win them over...but that cut out of orlando bloom had already stolen their hearts!

[Raine_Loire]

My mom had a cut out of Arnold Schwarzenegger when I was 14. I wasn't allowed to look at it or touch it though. My dad didn't think it was that great...

[enoch]

jeez....thats harsh(not the part about you not being able to touch it!)
those cutouts, they will end the world. all our women will fall for them thus creating a lack in birth rate.

o.o

[BlaizeYES]

On 2008-04-23 15:06, Raine_Loire wrote:
My mom had a cut out of Arnold Schwarzenegger when I was 14. I wasn't allowed to look at it or touch it though. My dad didn't think it was that great...




it sounds like your mom must have liked the movie "COMMANDO" then. they have a nice scene in the movie where he is rowing a canoe 3 miles to "the dictator's island"... and during this part, they play no sound, there is no dialogue, all the part consists of is 5 minutes of arnold in a speedo, grunting, and occasionally flexing while rowing. it's a masterpiece of cinema, and i suggest you watch ALL THREE MILES of the row.


on the bright side, at least your dad knew where to set the bar in order to get your mom's attention.

[Raine_Loire]

lol, my aunts gave it to her for her birthday. She was asking for an Orlando Bloom one back when Lord of the Rings came out, but he put his foot down for THAT. You know- speaking of 14 year old girls... when I was 23ish I worked at Toys R Us, and "Cheaper by the Dozen" came out. Some 14 year old girl bought the movie and said "I'm just buying it for Tom Welling." I said "Yeah, he's hot, all right." And she said "too bad you're not 10 years younger, huh?" I just stood there with my mouth open... I don't know if she thought he was young, or I was an old lady, lol... This actually pertains to Rika's situation though, 14 year old girls view early 20s as middle aged apparently...

HE'S OLDER THAN I AM, DAMMIT!!!



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Raine_Loire on 2008-04-23 15:43 ]</font>

[McLaughlin]

On 2008-04-23 11:52, RikaPSOW wrote:
Her parents don't know, but they do mean me and her's relationship difficult anyway. Maybe I do sound creepy, but geez.... If you guys knew me better you would know I am a nice guy (you guys don't though). Also besides you guy/girls telling me the same thing over and over again, this topics serves another purpose. I have a question, accually more of an example. Um..., how to ask... Okay would parents rather a complete 16 year old jerk be a girls bf or would they rather a 18 year old guy that's really nice?



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-23 11:57 ]</font>


Any decent parent doesn't want their kid having ANY boyfriend at the age of 14.

[Seority]

Well I hope you just get what they think is best.
It's still up to you Rika. Best advice to give is to just do what you think is right.
If you really want to stay with this girl, really carish her, etc. then by all means stay with her!
Yes 14 year old tend to be dumb, but that doesn't mean she's going to dump you like I did. Doesn't mean her parents will get upset. If you have faith in her, then stay with her. Be with someone who you're happy with. It's the best thing any of us can wish for you.

By the way, what is the one thing special about this tpoic?
:3

[enoch]

On 2008-04-24 11:08, Seority wrote:

Yes 14 year old tend to be dumb, but that doesn't mean she's going to dump you like I did.



;o am I missing something? does this need an edit lol people migtht take it the wrong way

[Seority]

In an earlier post, I stated that when I was 14 I didn't know what love was, so one day I liked you, the next I don't care of your existence. I just stated that Rika's gf may not be like I was and just dump him. Just because most girls that age do that, doesn't mean all will. I truely believe there are a few smart 14 year old girls in existence, and Rika's gf may be one of them.

[enoch]

lol no, to me it looked like you implied that you dated rika XD context is a cruel joke sometimes

[RikaPSOW]

lol, okay special thing about this topic is........

my gf reads it
(she's not gonna kill me, but I know you guy's/girl's are about to)



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-24 13:27 ]</font>

[enoch]

well at least hes honest n.n

[RikaPSOW]

you got that right

(i don't think anyone else has done this)


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RikaPSOW on 2008-04-24 16:08 ]</font>

[SStrikerR]

Lol. If you let her read this, then why do you even bother asking us what to do if you could just talk to her instead? -_-

[RikaPSOW]

for trust....
(and sorta hard to explain)

[enoch]

;o are you a good splainer?

[RikaPSOW]

nope, lol

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

The Problem, whatever it originally was, seems to be cleared up/discussed at enough length and this has delved into a "lol" one word response and "hang out thread."

I will close it now due to this change in seriousness. This isn't a chatroom, one word blurb responses are against the rules to avoid as much going on. Feel free to make a new thread about any other new relationship problems for more advice in the future.