My First Short Film

[Eihwaz]

I finally managed to get my first short film uploaded to YouTube. It's called Scary Monsters (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e73Rn6ZhDgc), and I'm trying to get some feedback on it. Check it out if you've got some time, and if you like it, spread it around.

</shameless self-promotion> http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[Syl]

Being a big fan of horror-related stuff, I'll have to be pretty critical lol.

The basic premise is pretty solid and it did surprise me the way it ended up (I thought the guy was going to be the one doing the killing lol).

Music wasn't exactly good to me though. It was either too over the top or it was just not setting the right mood (not creepy enough). But I'm a music freak, so you can just ignore that http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

Could have use more dramatic camera angles, but for what type of film it is I feel it got the job done.

Either way, I feel it deserved 5 stars http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime1.gif

[Eihwaz]

Thanks for the commentary! I'm glad the ending surprised you.

[Monochrome]

I really liked the second song (the Silent Hillish one). Nice twist. The first song reminds me of what I do everytime I get my hands on my friend's Yamaha keyboard. Horror muuuuusic!

[Eihwaz]

Actually, all the songs in it are from the Silent Hill soundtracks. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

When I thought about creepy instrumental music, it was only too easy to default to good old Akira Yamaoka.

[Monochrome]

On 2008-04-10 19:54, Eihwaz wrote:
Actually, all the songs in it are from the Silent Hill soundtracks. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

When I thought about creepy instrumental music, it was only too easy to default to good old Akira Yamaoka.



ohhhhhh well that explains it! Well, good choice then http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

[ABDUR101]

Interesting, started off innocent enough. Then made a steady climb into "ok, getting alittle weird". The music should definitely set the tone though; such as when the dood starts following her, the music should sort of denote it, that sets the stage and is the cue for everyone to notice its out of place. Then in the finale, when she stabs him with the syringe, that should be when the spastic/wonky music strikes, as soon as he gets stabbed; then you know crazy shit is about to ensue as she puts on the gloves and gets the saw.

Overall, good work for a first video.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: ABDUR101 on 2008-04-10 20:10 ]</font>

[KaneKahn]

Tits or GTFO http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

[Eihwaz]

On 2008-04-10 20:11, KaneKahn wrote:
Tits or GTFO http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif


The girl isn't yet eighteen, I think, so that would make posting nudity of her CP, which is generally frowned up.

It's not worth the fame it would bring if it would get me arrested, y'know. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Eihwaz on 2008-04-10 20:46 ]</font>

[Katrina]

Bizarre, suspensful music with a nice twist at the end, kudos http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[Allos]

For a first time video, VERY good job.

Advice from an independent filmmaker:

1. For future projects, invest in a dolly and maybe dolly tracks. Your use of one-take tracking shots loses atmosphere and story meaning when one notices the camera shaking.

2. Tighten up the editing. Your editing is amazing for a first time job, but things to look out for in the future are continuity editing errors (i.e. when in one shot the girl's arm is in motion and the next it remains at her side).

3. Use a tripod/steady-cam. The key here is to get rid of the shakiness in the non-tracking shots. Shakiness can lend to the scene's meaning if it's used correctly, but otherwise it's just distracting.

4. More shot variety. I'm sure you were under time constraints, but in the future make sure you have your scenes shot from multiple angles. Extended tracking shots with little action occuring in each makes the viewer think they're watching a Tarkovsky film. Getting better coverage will let you have more interesting editing choices as well.


Again though, great job for a first time video. It definitely had atmosphere (though the sunny outdoors spoiled that a little, but no biggy) and the music fit well. I suggest you continue making short films, and after enough practice I suggest submitting your films to festivals. People notice your work through them and want to collaborate, sometimes leading to paychecks. I speak from experience http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[Eihwaz]

On 2008-04-10 22:28, Allos wrote:
For a first time video, VERY good job.

Thanks very much! :D



Advice from an independent filmmaker:

1. For future projects, invest in a dolly and maybe dolly tracks. Your use of one-take tracking shots loses atmosphere and story meaning when one notices the camera shaking.

I agree. Although we used a steadicam extensively when filming this, the shakiness shows up at times. I think we might have had enough enough room for them, if we had some, but then again, I don't know.



2. Tighten up the editing. Your editing is amazing for a first time job, but things to look out for in the future are continuity editing errors (i.e. when in one shot the girl's arm is in motion and the next it remains at her side).

Yeah, we put this together on Adobe Premiere, and my friend Kyle (the cameraman) was a big help on this. The biggest continuity flaw was the battery charger in the scene where the girl was unpacking her bag. Here today, gone tomorrow. :wacko:

Although, that would've required more filming to fix, so I don't know if that counts as an editing issue...



3. Use a tripod/steady-cam. The key here is to get rid of the shakiness in the non-tracking shots. Shakiness can lend to the scene's meaning if it's used correctly, but otherwise it's just distracting.

Like I said earlier, we did use a steadicam for most of the shots. I agree, though: I like to avoid shakiness most of the time.



4. More shot variety. I'm sure you were under time constraints, but in the future make sure you have your scenes shot from multiple angles. Extended tracking shots with little action occuring in each makes the viewer think they're watching a Tarkovsky film. Getting better coverage will let you have more interesting editing choices as well.

Yeah, in hindsight, I noticed I had a fetish for long tracking shots. It's something I need to try to break myself free from in the future.



Again though, great job for a first time video. It definitely had atmosphere (though the sunny outdoors spoiled that a little, but no biggy) and the music fit well. I suggest you continue making short films, and after enough practice I suggest submitting your films to festivals. People notice your work through them and want to collaborate, sometimes leading to paychecks. I speak from experience :wacko:


I continually kick myself for the shots focusing on leaving the library and entering the industrial area (the way, way too wide and overexposed shots). Ironically, these were the two shots I shot. :wacko:

I had something specific in mind, but in those two places, it just turned out sort of blah. These specific sections are about the only ones in the whole piece that I have significant issues with.

I'm planning on continuing to make short films, and unfortunately learned of a film festival on campus just a bit too close to the deadline to produce the kind of film I wanted to produce. I have some friends who want to collaborate with me on some projects, and we already have some rough ideas we're interested in.

Thanks for your commentary. It's especially useful to get critique from other filmmakers.

[Allos]

On 2008-04-10 23:23, Eihwaz wrote:

I'm planning on continuing to make short films, and unfortunately learned of a film festival on campus just a bit too close to the deadline to produce the kind of film I wanted to produce. I have some friends who want to collaborate with me on some projects, and we already have some rough ideas we're interested in.

Thanks for your commentary. It's especially useful to get critique from other filmmakers.



Submit to larger festivals as well. The competition is stiffer but wins guarantee that you'll become better known. Screenings at larger festivals also grant you an IMDB page, which becomes immensely useful for hiring producers to find you (if this is something you want to do for a career that is). Again , speaking from experience.