Strange Tsunami of Emotions..

[DreXxiN]

This is hella weird, It happens all the time and I don't know why.

SPOILER-KINDA EMO WARNING!! -- !!!eleven111!one!

Ugh, it's just so strange, I have these mini breakdowns frequently. I mean, generally things in the world don't seem to nudge my train of thought or care. While I have a "Meh, it happens" attitude, I also take a logical and initiative approach to see what I can do about it.

Now I'm always one to assist others in time of need, probably because through self exploration I've understood how one feels by relating their own feelings to the relevance of mine.

...And my friends and loved ones do help me, don't get me wrong, just...not at the right times..even when I ask..it's like some strange barrier keeps me from contacting or having any useful insight from them in times when I am in need. (Sorry if I'm not very clear, it's getting kind of late).

It's just that, right now, I feel cold, had a headache that pretty much knocked me out, I'm angry, agonizingly worried and in fear with a hint of sorrow in some strange simultaneous concoction.

I do try to discover, to no, avail, Why it is I'm just generally calm and carefree enough to confuse people who's views on "minor" and "major' may be different and different torward my introverted ideologies/priorities.

*Sigh* It's just one of those "wrong" times again. I mean I tried reaching out to two people who are VERY VERY important to me tonight, as I couldn't sleep, and it feels as though there was a reaction moreso of hostility than anything, which confuses me. Don't get me wrong, I do get the random advice and hug here and there from those who care, but it seems as though when I feel like combusting, they all kind of disappear (Probably straight up shit luck, lol)It sometimes feels like I'm in a whole new world at times during this stage, and have a warped sense of who/what people are, and I'd rather come out and say it than say "Fuck the world, it's garbage, I'm right your wrong".


I feel pretty helpless and shitty right now and feel like I'm breaking down, but I can literally find nothing that would hinder my happiness, as it's been a good day. *Sigh*

Well, since it's a RANTS forum, I figured I'd spit this out here. Maybe I'm just really...strange *Shrugs*

..Or I just really need sleep.

(And to think I'm usually the one hearing this from all MY friends)

(pathetic..)

(There I go again..*facepalms self*

[Chuck_Norris]

Sounds like you're having a random anxiety attack. I've had those at times. You just feel lowsy about nothing at all. Or freaking out and feeling like something is overwhelming you, right? Just think about the good things that happened today, and try to get some sleep. It'll pass by tomorrow.

[DreXxiN]

Shit! That's not what i wanted to hear! Because I already knew that's what it was, but something always becomes critical when it happens. It's like a foreshadowing or harboring of bad hope. Meh. I'll try to shrug it off, but it feels more like a sense than anything.

You're probably right about sleeping it off though.

[Seority]

Thank you Chuck.
Telling him to call me is to difficult it seems.
:/

[DreXxiN]

You don't need to give me advice.

[Chuck_Norris]

Heh, sorry. Thought it might make ya feel better to hear you're not the only one to ever feel like this.

Well, sounds like you may need a good laugh.
Why not watch this? :wacko:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=fh8VfFH78jY
And the sequal.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Bsjd7fVJQy0&feature=related

[Chuck_Norris]

Heh, sorry. Thought it might make ya feel better to hear you're not the only one.

Well, sounds like you may need a good laugh.
Why not watch this? :wacko:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=fh8VfFH78jY
And the sequal.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Bsjd7fVJQy0&feature=related

[DreXxiN]

Your double post made me laugh. =P.

It's actually kinda fading since I posted this. Ubwa...Fuck I need sleep..that was weird

[Seority]

...This shit again?
DreX: "OMG Mindy. I need help! Why won't you help me!?"
Seority: -trys to call- - no answer-
DreX: "Don't try helping. You don't matter."
Seo: "..."

You really make me wondersome times.... :roll:

[Nitro Vordex]

Hey DreX.

GO TO SLEEP.

Staying up late can get you thinking. If you're by yourself, they're usually not good.(I know where you're coming from dude, I've had this kind of stuff many a time).

Sleep, and have fun doing stuff. Or blowing stuff up, or whatever. :wacko:

[DreXxiN]

...This shit again?
DreX: "OMG Mindy. I need help! Why won't you help me!?"
Seority: -trys to call- - no answer-
DreX: "Don't try helping. You don't matter."
Seo: "..."

You really make me wondersome times.... :roll:

It's more of a "Too late" Issue.


SLEEP BITCH!
Working on it.

[Nitro Vordex]

Not on PSOW you're not. :wacko:

It'll pass dude, don't worry about it.

[Seority]

/deleted

I'm just pissed and concerned...

[EphekZ]

Uhm, Seority, I know you and drexxin like to make your relationship very apparent on the boards. However, wouldn't saying that not in public probably be a little better? I mean seriously.


..This shit again?
DreX: "OMG Mindy. I need help! Why won't you help me!?"
Seority: -trys to call- - no answer-
DreX: "Don't try helping. You don't matter."
Seo: "..."

You really make me wondersome times....

Really? I mean really? Wouldn't that be better over AIM or hell even in person?


anyway, Drexxin. I think I can see where you're coming from. I used to have these little random fits of depression, etc. Then again, I had reasons. Take a moment, and find out what could possibly be setting you off. You seem emotionally unstable right now, and even the smallest thing can set you off. blah I wanted to say more, but it's too early for me to properly think right now, and now I gotta go.

Just good luck, and when shit gets you down, take some music and just relax. Don't try thinking about everything, just let it pass.

[Darkly]

I know lol, it's really painful to see a lover's tiff on a freaking forum.

[DreXxiN]

Wow, I'm SO sorry about that guys, I tried to be calm and reserved, but that doesn't mean I was rational.

Ugh, and I'm sorry that the relationship got brought into this. If I could have my way it would have stayed in PM's like my original message.

Oy, well I did sleep, I still have that headache, but I'm getting better, and now I can sort through some things that might possibly have set me off, whether it was some strange chemical imbalance or an actual issue I've been hiding. We'll take a looskie :P

When everyone that creates a background story for their RPG characters they have to be a super demon angel god legendary superman best of its kind pwns everything...thing,

[CelestialBlade]

Your life seems pretty busy at the moment too, maybe anxiety is playing a role in it? How is your sleep schedule? Even your diet can play a role in chemical imbalances if you're someone who's prone to them. Just keep it in mind, but try not to worry too much about it.

I haven't known you for very long, but you don't strike me as someone who breaks down and asks for help very much. I think there's plenty of people that want to talk to you and let you vent to them, but it's as if there is a barrier around you that either won't let others in or is something you just don't want to take down. It's good to want to face challenges on your own, you learn the most from that, but, there is also a lot of strength in the ability to ask for help. Yes, people do want to help you. But you can't be stubborn and deny a shoulder to lean on when it's offered. May not matter much at first, but things can keep building up and erupt in a way you don't want them to.

I could be completely wrong about all that, and I apologize if I am, but I also know how it feels to stay up way too late and sit there and think about things waaaaaay too much. Telling myself to shut the hell up and go to sleep normally fixes that, but it can linger for a little while too. If it happens a lot, seriously, talk to someone about it.

If it turns out to be an actual issue and you want a neutral party to discuss it with, I offer my ear if you want it.

[DreXxiN]

Thanks, Chelsea, for your very open-minded and hearty peice of mind. I appreciate it. Fortunately, an emotional outbreak of last night's magnitude is very uncommon.

I apologized deeply for how I reacted yesterday to some. Unfortunately in those times,

I feel I need the love and support in a certain timeframe before I feel too angry, and my views on things in general are very tarnished and corrupt, admitedly.


So when I push people away at those times, it's more to protect them from my more savage, unreasonable side. I know all too well how it is to try to help another individual you care for and bite the gravel for doing so.

I do know that regardless of how mature I think I am for my age, there is still a lot of growing up to do yet. (This is where Chelsea's advisory of "STFU AND GO TO SLEEP BRAYN LULZ" kicks into play :P)

As Socrates once said, "The true wise man is aware of how much more he doesn't know than the knowledge he already has". (Give or take)

[CelestialBlade]

All of us still have growing up to do and we all have different experiences, your overall experience is based on the cards you're dealt and your maturity is determined by what you've experienced and if you've chosen to learn from it. And none of us are above needing help, either, from any person of any age. We're all so different and there's so much to learn from one another, and so many different viewpoints we can consider.

I did get a little annoyed at you yesterday, and I apologize, but that's just because I had been in your friend's situation and it took someone older than me to knock some sense into me before I ever made any progress, and I was younger than he was. People older than you don't give advice just because they want to flaunt their age or something silly like that, but because they've been through those years and they know how it felt, as well as how they got through it. They're not trying to say you shouldn't hurt, or you shouldn't have those experiences, but they've made it through and knowing how to ultimately get through it gives you strength. But knowing that you've been feeling this way makes your actions more clear, and I can be a really blunt person sometimes so I can't say I haven't had that reaction before, heh. I know it can upset a lot of people, but blunt advice given to me is really what I've needed sometimes. Sometimes you honestly need to be told "okay, stop being an IDIOT and look at the big picture here". Lord knows I've often been the idiot, still am with many things.

You do seem to have a good head on your shoulders, but we all have our moments of weakness, and there's nothing wrong with that. The strength is in admitting those weak moments and not being afraid to buckle down and ask for help. I know you're not entirely above asking for help, but, there's people that care enough about you and are willing to endure moments of anger just to show that they're there for you.

And if you ever think you're thinking too much, you probably are ;P That's when I have to either go do something engaging or just lay the hell down.

[DreXxiN]

Yeah, I'm exploring ways to calm me down in those situations.

This made me cream a bit.

http://www.myspace.com/mlalor (The profile song)

NEW DF LULZ

[Seority]

Uhm, Seority, I know you and drexxin like to make your relationship very apparent on the boards. However, wouldn't saying that not in public probably be a little better? I mean seriously.

Really? I mean really? Wouldn't that be better over AIM or hell even in person?


Well we were comunicating through profile comments, but then he wasn't listening to me on those. I tried to call him, as I stated previously, but he never answered, and my net does drop randomly nor do I have AIM.
Since he didn't want to talk to me on any format, I just decided to post here since he was also posting here.
I understand what your saying and I dislike it also seeing couples do this, but I also hate stating things like this to the public. I guess you can now understand how ticked off I was about this whole ordeal when I did something I'd thought I'd never do.
I too appologize.