Being truthful.

[RikaPSOW]

Okay, I have a new girl friend, and I'm as truthful to her as possible, but her brother thinks I'm being TOO TRUTHFUL. Like sometimes being too truthful hurts my girlfriend (which she didn't tell me, her brother had to tell me). Like should I sometimes lie to avoid hurting my girlfriend? Her brother thinks I should lie to avoid hurting her, but what do you guys/girls think? I just wanna be a good boyfriend, I don't mean any harm.


Also about her brother, he likes to make me make an ass out of myself. He will purposely lie just to make me have an outburst over something in my relationship with my girlfriend, then tell me he lied, and then I feel like crap. I feel like he's trying to control my relationship with her. Should I be conserned?

[CelestialBlade]

Sounds like her brother is a douche, plain and simple. I wouldn't listen to anything he says, sounds like a little attention-whore child.

On the truthful issue though, you should strive to be completely honest with someone in my opinion. If someone can't accept you for who you are, they won't last long anyway. I'm glad to see that you are truthful because a lot of people will lie to "preserve" a relationship, but it will always always catch up with them. Some people are scared off by honestly, but if she's the one for you, she'll really appreciate it.

[AlexCraig]

Chelsea's right. They say honesty is the best policy. Stick to it. If she's the one for you, she'll appreciate you being honest.

[Aisha379]

While honesty is most certainly good, you also have to be aware of HOW you say things.

Example, most girls certainly wouldn't want to try on a new dress only to have you say "Gawd you look fat in that" - even if it is true, there are certain things that should be worded differently - or just not said at all, unless its a big deal.


But from what you said, I wouldn't trust anything her brother says, just ask her outright if anything you say hurts her, and go from there.

[RikaPSOW]

Sounds like her brother is a douche, plain and simple. I wouldn't listen to anything he says, sounds like a little attention-whore child.

On the truthful issue though, you should strive to be completely honest with someone in my opinion. If someone can't accept you for who you are, they won't last long anyway. I'm glad to see that you are truthful because a lot of people will lie to "preserve" a relationship, but it will always always catch up with them. Some people are scared off by honestly, but if she's the one for you, she'll really appreciate it.


Yeah, he does give me a lot of problems. Like yesterday (I'm in a online relationship with her), he wouldn't let her sister on because he wanted to irratate me (which he did). Waited like 6 hours, then he tells me she went to sleep (which he lied about). Then I make a complete ass of myself cause I was really irratated (i think if you waited six hours for someone/something, then they don't show up or you don't get it, you would be mad, right?).

I try to be as honest as I can be. Like, I never ever heard my girlfriend's voice. My friends have a lot of suspisions about that (they are just trying to protect me). I tell her that it bugs me a little bit. Like I know she doesn't like that topic, but I just wanted to be honest. But if you think about it, if I really believed my friends, would I really tell her then? I don't see why someone would lie about that since I've known them (almost a year I've known my girlfriend).

[RikaPSOW]

While honesty is most certainly good, you also have to be aware of HOW you say things.

Example, most girls certainly wouldn't want to try on a new dress only to have you say "Gawd you look fat in that" - even if it is true, there are certain things that should be worded differently - or just not said at all, unless its a big deal.


But from what you said, I wouldn't trust anything her brother says, just ask her outright if anything you say hurts her, and go from there.


I try to word everything as "nice and polite" as possible. And yeah I wanna bring up about anything hurting her, but her brother didn't let me talk to her....



Chelsea's right. They say honesty is the best policy. Stick to it. If she's the one for you, she'll appreciate you being honest.


Agreed.

[CelestialBlade]

Yeah, he does give me a lot of problems. Like yesterday (I'm in a online relationship with her), he wouldn't let her sister on because he wanted to irratate me (which he did). Waited like 6 hours, then he tells me she went to sleep (which he lied about). Then I make a complete ass of myself cause I was really irratated (i think if you waited six hours for someone/something, then they don't show up or you don't get it, you would be mad, right?).

I try to be as honest as I can be. Like, I never ever heard my girlfriend's voice. My friends have a lot of suspisions about that (they are just trying to protect me). I tell her that it bugs me a little bit. Like I know she doesn't like that topic, but I just wanted to be honest. But if you think about it, if I really believed my friends, would I really tell her then? I don't see why someone would lie about that since I've known them (almost a year I've known my girlfriend).
You'd have every right to be irate about that situation. Yeah, her brother is trash. What a little attention-whore.

You're absolutely right in telling your girlfriend about wanting to be able to hear her voice, and I'd imagine she does understand where you're coming from (though I think the G.I.R.L. paranoia on the internet needs to stop getting overblown so much, we use the net way more than you think), so I think it'd be best for you to try and understand why she's being reluctant. Is it something as simple as owning a mic, or is there more to it? If she doesn't like the topic, find out why and see if you two can't come to an agreement on the issue. Honestly, understanding, and love are pretty much the top three key ingredients of any successful relationship. Hope it goes well, and keep up the honesty, it's very much a desirable element in any guy.

[MetaZedlen]

If anything, try to get her number, that would be one of the easier ways around this mess, being that the brother is a douche-bag.

On a side note, being honest is one of the BEST things in a relationship, I would know this because if you are close to someone that is very religious (me...), and she STILL talks to you, then there really is nothing to worry about. I've told my girlfriend MOST of the stuff about me, and she admitted that she didn't like what she heard, but she lives with it (the underage drinking really bothered her, but she doesn't care anymore because I usually have some funny stories for her :D).

We have had our share of those blatantly honest conversations, and yes they hurt a little, but in time you just don't care very much about stupid little things that anymore because it was one of those "oh shit" moments, but then you move to something else to take your mind right off of it.

When you finally get to talk to her (and I hope you do, as long as she has a cell phone...), talk to her about it, don't exactly beat around the bush, but don't lay it all on at once either, bits and pieces at a time, and you will feel much better.

Edit: Hey Typheros, it's honesty, not honestly ;)

Nothing mean by it though :D

[Aisha379]

Yeah, I have an odd weird paranoia about letting people online hear my voice too. Bugs some of my friends. So I can kinda understand that much =S

[CelestialBlade]

Yeah, I have an odd weird paranoia about letting people online hear my voice too. Bugs some of my friends. So I can kinda understand that much =S
Same here. I kinda wish I could get over it for the sake of Ventrilo fun, but it's just one of many strange paranoias on my list ^_^ But that's why I mentioned trying to find out more about why she didn't want to call, because I have a real phobia about that sort of thing too.

[AlexCraig]

As many know, I am in an online relationship. She used to be very secretive with me during the first part of our relationship. After a while, she finally told me more about herself (which I guess you can call being honest). Since then, things have been on an upward spiral and have been getting better and better.

[RikaPSOW]

You'd have every right to be irate about that situation. Yeah, her brother is trash. What a little attention-whore.

You're absolutely right in telling your girlfriend about wanting to be able to hear her voice, and I'd imagine she does understand where you're coming from (though I think the G.I.R.L. paranoia on the internet needs to stop getting overblown so much, we use the net way more than you think), so I think it'd be best for you to try and understand why she's being reluctant. Is it something as simple as owning a mic, or is there more to it? If she doesn't like the topic, find out why and see if you two can't come to an agreement on the issue. Honestly, understanding, and love are pretty much the top three key ingredients of any successful relationship. Hope it goes well, and keep up the honesty, it's very much a desirable element in any guy.


Well her brother is somewhat looking out for her, but geez. He's gonna drive me to breaking up with her if he keeps this up (which I REALLY don't wanna do. I know how much that will hurt her, and I really like her, in any case I would rather just ask her to break up with me, probably would hurt her less). Also her brother does have a mic but doesn't let her use it. He say's he doesn't want anything to go farther than "texting". He thinks she isn't mature enough for that (um, yeah, uh, I think it's the other way around). Also about that whole "G.I.R.L." thing. My friends gave me logical reasons, only reason why it bugs me. Their reasons, the mic thing, my girlfriend is nypho (no that's not why I'm dating her), I first met her on the PSU demo (I don't really stereotype any of that, but those do seem somewhat logical to me). There are more reasons, but I think you get it.

I'll try to keep being honest though. I love her A LOT. ^^

[RikaPSOW]

As many know, I am in an online relationship. She used to be very secretive with me during the first part of our relationship. After a while, she finally told me more about herself (which I guess you can call being honest). Since then, things have been on an upward spiral and have been getting better and better.

Wow, good to hear. I hope my relationship starts to turn out better. ^^


Edit: Sorry for the double posts, I don't relize I'm double posting because I'm quoting things (which I'm not really used to doing).


If anything, try to get her number, that would be one of the easier ways around this mess, being that the brother is a douche-bag.

On a side note, being honest is one of the BEST things in a relationship, I would know this because if you are close to someone that is very religious (me...), and she STILL talks to you, then there really is nothing to worry about. I've told my girlfriend MOST of the stuff about me, and she admitted that she didn't like what she heard, but she lives with it (the underage drinking really bothered her, but she doesn't care anymore because I usually have some funny stories for her :D).

We have had our share of those blatantly honest conversations, and yes they hurt a little, but in time you just don't care very much about stupid little things that anymore because it was one of those "oh shit" moments, but then you move to something else to take your mind right off of it.

When you finally get to talk to her (and I hope you do, as long as she has a cell phone...), talk to her about it, don't exactly beat around the bush, but don't lay it all on at once either, bits and pieces at a time, and you will feel much better.

Edit: Hey Typheros, it's honesty, not honestly ;)

Nothing mean by it though :D

She doesn't have a cell phone (well I don't think she has one), and she won't let me call her because she will get in trouble with her parents. ;_;

And yeah I agree with you. ^^

[afterthoughtz]

To everyone in the online relationships, why online?? I'm not mocking anyone that is in on internet/online relationship, but on the other hand isnt there not one guy/girl your into in your area???

ALso like everyone is saying, honesty is the best policy, suppose she ask something and you lie to protect her saying no, then later you slip and say yes....BIG TROUBLE! Also i dont agree withe her not letting you hear her voice, that is a must in my book, sure i know their are lots of REAL girls online but there is also a lot of weirdo guys acting as girls....but thats just what i think

[thunder-ray]

If you dont mind me asking do you know how old the brother is? My next question is why would she get in trouble by her parents if you had her number?

[AlexCraig]

To everyone in the online relationships, why online?? I'm not mocking anyone that is in on internet/online relationship, but on the other hand isnt there not one guy/girl your into in your area???


I don't like any of the women in my area. And I have so much in common with Julie, I don't want to ruin that. She has made me the happiest I've been in my life.

[RikaPSOW]

To everyone in the online relationships, why online?? I'm not mocking anyone that is in on internet/online relationship, but on the other hand isnt there not one guy/girl your into in your area???

ALso like everyone is saying, honesty is the best policy, suppose she ask something and you lie to protect her saying no, then later you slip and say yes....BIG TROUBLE! Also i dont agree withe her not letting you hear her voice, that is a must in my book, sure i know their are lots of REAL girls online but there is also a lot of weirdo guys acting as girls....but thats just what i think

I don't really like anybody around my area (never have really). I'm very quiet and really shy. Also I really like the girl I'm dating. ^^


If you dont mind me asking do you know how old the brother is? My next question is why would she get in trouble by her parents if you had her number?

The brother is 17 (no idea how long until 18 ) and she is 16 (she'll be 17 in december). I'm not really sure why she would get in trouble for giving out her number. She did say her parents were against online dating (i think). I guess I'll just have to bring that up with her when I can (which is hopefully soon). ><

[Kylie]

Ew! I've learned to stay out of my sister's relationships, and I couldn't imagine ever trying to get into them unless I had to. I just imagine she'd rather make her own mistakes--as would I.

The brother is probably just controlling by nature, and maybe you should say something (in a nice way). Speaking of, don't be too hard on your girlfriend... I mean, if you really care about her, you should be encouraging and love her for who she is. Nothing hurts a girl more than a boyfriend telling her her flaws constantly. I don't know the details though, so you should ask her if you're too honest. She's the one you should be worried about; not her brother, not us.

[RikaPSOW]

Ew! I've learned to stay out of my sister's relationships, and I couldn't imagine ever trying to get into them unless I had to. I just imagine she'd rather make her own mistakes--as would I.

The brother is probably just controlling by nature, and maybe you should say something (in a nice way). Speaking of, don't be too hard on your girlfriend... I mean, if you really care about her, you should be encouraging and love her for who she is. Nothing hurts a girl more than a boyfriend telling her her flaws constantly. I don't know the details though, so you should ask her if you're too honest. She's the one you should be worried about; not her brother, not us.

I do love my girlfriend for who she is. I'm just trying to be a good boyfriend.

[Inazuma]

some ppl just cant handle the truth and it leads to arguments. not very good arguments since you cant exactly argue well against facts. it can make someone extremely frustrated. one great example of this would be "god isnt real". tell that to some fool who actually believes in god, and watch em struggle to come up w/ some argument. lol, it cant be done so they end up getting very upset and frustrated. eventually when they realize they are unable to win, they will either throw a fit and run away or resort to violence.

another one is "there is no good reason for a man to get married". if i tell this to someone, they cant come up w/ a valid reason, so they just throw a fit and run away. lies are important to some ppl or else they will crumble.

and one last thing. i personally dont ever want children but i would NEVER tell that to a woman im dating. she would leave me on the spot.

[TheOneHero]

Sweet! Another girl topic. *waits for our favorite posters*

It's been said a couple times, but really honesty is the best thing you can do, just be careful in how you phrase things, as stated above.

I get a lot of crap for "not being nice". (AKA: I should lie to make someone feel better) That's BS. From someone who was lied to quite a bit by older siblings, friends, or parents of friends, you feel so much worse once you learn the truth. "Err, thanks for making me base my opinions, thoughts, and actions on your lie. Did you think I couldn't handle the truth?"

I believe being "nice" is being honest to someone, doing what is needed to bring about the most growth and development they can have. Not lying to give them temporary happiness. =/

You can be too truthful sometimes. As in, don't just go in and say everything, break it up and deliver your thoughts/feelings/etc. at different times. (I hope that made sense.)

Regarding her brother, he's an asshole. Don't let him get to you, it can be difficult, but don't show it to him. I'm sure eventually he'll get bored and go wack off to his DBZ hentai. :wacko:

Online relationships: They're nice and if you stick to them, can be great. I've been in a couple myself, never really turned out good for me. (Two of them turned out to be G.I.R.L.s :disapprove: )

Afterthoughtz- Many people, myself included, would love to be involved with someone in our area. That's a great feeling when you can say, "I love you" to someone in person, to be able to hold them and just spend time together. Sometimes though, there's folks that haven't had the chance for that and turn to the internet, while it's full of creepy immature losers, there's also some pretty awesome/mature people that can satisfy the need to be loved and the need to return love also.


Hey Inazuma, STFU. Calling people fools for believing in God, or wanting to get married is pathetic. You throw your opinions around like they're facts, and they aren't.

[Kent]

I've always stuck to a simple doctrine on this topic.

If you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel you need to not tell the truth, you're doing it wrong. Plain and simple.

[RikaPSOW]

some ppl just cant handle the truth and it leads to arguments. not very good arguments since you cant exactly argue well against facts. it can make someone extremely frustrated. one great example of this would be "god isnt real". tell that to some fool who actually believes in god, and watch em struggle to come up w/ some argument. lol, it cant be done so they end up getting very upset and frustrated. eventually when they realize they are unable to win, they will either throw a fit and run away or resort to violence.

another one is "there is no good reason for a man to get married". if i tell this to someone, they cant come up w/ a valid reason, so they just throw a fit and run away. lies are important to some ppl or else they will crumble.

and one last thing. i personally dont ever want children but i would NEVER tell that to a woman im dating. she would leave me on the spot.

I don't argue with her though.


Sweet! Another girl topic. *waits for our favorite posters*

It's been said a couple times, but really honesty is the best thing you can do, just be careful in how you phrase things, as stated above.

I get a lot of crap for "not being nice". (AKA: I should lie to make someone feel better) That's BS. From someone who was lied to quite a bit by older siblings, friends, or parents of friends, you feel so much worse once you learn the truth. "Err, thanks for making me base my opinions, thoughts, and actions on your lie. Did you think I couldn't handle the truth?"

I believe being "nice" is being honest to someone, doing what is needed to bring about the most growth and development they can have. Not lying to give them temporary happiness. =/

You can be too truthful sometimes. As in, don't just go in and say everything, break it up and deliver your thoughts/feelings/etc. at different times. (I hope that made sense.)

Regarding her brother, he's an asshole. Don't let him get to you, it can be difficult, but don't show it to him. I'm sure eventually he'll get bored and go wack off to his DBZ hentai. :wacko:

Online relationships: They're nice and if you stick to them, can be great. I've been in a couple myself, never really turned out good for me. (Two of them turned out to be G.I.R.L.s :disapprove: )

Afterthoughtz- Many people, myself included, would love to be involved with someone in our area. That's a great feeling when you can say, "I love you" to someone in person, to be able to hold them and just spend time together. Sometimes though, there's folks that haven't had the chance for that and turn to the internet, while it's full of creepy immature losers, there's also some pretty awesome/mature people that can satisfy the need to be loved and the need to return love also.


Hey Inazuma, STFU. Calling people fools for believing in God, or wanting to get married is pathetic. You throw your opinions around like they're facts, and they aren't.

That's G.I.R.L. things sucks. Also I guess I'm being "nice" then. ^^ (P.S. no fighting in my topic please and thankyou).


I've always stuck to a simple doctrine on this topic.

If you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel you need to not tell the truth, you're doing it wrong. Plain and simple.

I do feel the need to tell the truth, so I guess I'm doing it right.

[Sidney]

TheOneHero and Chelsea have some great advice on this! :)

Personally, I hope that you stick to your honesty. I think that is a wonderful quality. Speaking from personal experience, one of my exes was the type that would go out of his way to not hurt me, and a lot of times he'd resort to lying or sugar-coating things (No, this was not about my physical appearance :lol:). He thought this would help spare my feelings, but once I found out he was doing this, I was 10x more hurt than if he would have told me the truth from the start. The things he would lie/sugar-coat were often things so insignificant that I couldn't understand why he would even do it - the truth wouldn't have hurt my feelings or upset me at all. It let to me not trusting him and was one of the many reasons I dumped him.

So, while I can't speak for all women, I think honesty is always the best. Sometimes it can hurt, but I promise that it hurts more when you find out someone you love has been lying to you about things from the start. I'd rather have a brutally honest guy than another guy like my ex, that's for sure!

[Kesubei]

Hmmm. Have you proved to her brother that you aren't a predator? Seriously, does he know you're sincere about this relationship, and not just trying to groom her?

[Inazuma]

Hey Inazuma, STFU. Calling people fools for believing in God, or wanting to get married is pathetic. You throw your opinions around like they're facts, and they aren't.

see? exactly the kind of reaction i was expecting. since its impossible to use logic to prove me wrong, all you can do is get upset and run off. i know it must be very frustrating for you. this is example one why being truthful may not always produce good results.

[RikaPSOW]

TheOneHero and Chelsea have some great advice on this! :)

Personally, I hope that you stick to your honesty. I think that is a wonderful quality. Speaking from personal experience, one of my exes was the type that would go out of his way to not hurt me, and a lot of times he'd resort to lying or sugar-coating things (No, this was not about my physical appearance :lol:). He thought this would help spare my feelings, but once I found out he was doing this, I was 10x more hurt than if he would have told me the truth from the start. The things he would lie/sugar-coat were often things so insignificant that I couldn't understand why he would even do it - the truth wouldn't have hurt my feelings or upset me at all. It let to me not trusting him and was one of the many reasons I dumped him.

So, while I can't speak for all women, I think honesty is always the best. Sometimes it can hurt, but I promise that it hurts more when you find out someone you love has been lying to you about things from the start. I'd rather have a brutally honest guy than another guy like my ex, that's for sure!


I'm glad I'm honest. ^^


Hmmm. Have you proved to her brother that you aren't a predator? Seriously, does he know you're sincere about this relationship, and not just trying to groom her?


I don't think he thinks I'm a predator. I think he does know I'm sincere about my relationship. He does know I care about her A LOT. Also, that doesn't mean he will change his attitude towards me aparently. ><

[Aisha379]

some ppl just cant handle the truth and it leads to arguments. not very good arguments since you cant exactly argue well against facts. it can make someone extremely frustrated. one great example of this would be "god isnt real". tell that to some fool who actually believes in god, and watch em struggle to come up w/ some argument. lol, it cant be done so they end up getting very upset and frustrated. eventually when they realize they are unable to win, they will either throw a fit and run away or resort to violence.

another one is "there is no good reason for a man to get married". if i tell this to someone, they cant come up w/ a valid reason, so they just throw a fit and run away. lies are important to some ppl or else they will crumble.

and one last thing. i personally dont ever want children but i would NEVER tell that to a woman im dating. she would leave me on the spot.

For the Love of God, will someone ban this - already?

He's so insecure in his own beliefs he just HAS to bring up "LOL GOD ISN'T REEL" in every fucking post he makes just to try and annoy people and stir up shit.

And no, Inazuma, I'm not proving your point - I don't give a crap if you believe in God or not, (though its certainly odd how you always put the burden of proof on others, because anyone with half a brain can tell you God cannot be proven or disproven by science), you're just the most fucking retarded person I have ever had the displeasure to meet, and I seriously seriously hope all this is trolling, because if you are honestly like this, I pity you and every person you will ever come into contact with, and while many people find you humorous (and I mean that in a bad way) I personally find the thick-ness of your skull and attitude offensive, after the initial "lawl lets laugh at the retard" phase naturally passes over.


Seriously, come on, please, someone with ban powers, just get rid of him.

(For the record, at least I'm not an asshole all the time, and when I am, I keep it ontopic, kthx.)


*ahem*

Ontopic: I really like the way TOH worded most of his stuff on honesty. Theres being honest and then theres just being rude.


However, truth be told, a girl once broke up with me because she said I was "too honest" with her about some things.

Yeah, go figure.

[TheOneHero]

Run off? I'm no coward, I can assure you.

What upsets me is you flinging around your opinions like they are facts, anyone who disagrees is wrong, and you are the one true ruler and teacher. Knock it off.

Rika- You could try to explain to him the situation, he still might continue being an asswipe, but at least you addressed it?

[RikaPSOW]

For the Love of God, will someone ban this fag already?

He's so insecure in his own beliefs he just HAS to bring up "LOL GOD ISN'T REEL" in every fucking post he makes just to try and annoy people and stir up shit.

And no, Inazuma, I'm not proving your point - I don't give a crap if you believe in God or not, (though its certainly odd how you always put the burden of proof on others, because anyone with half a brain can tell you God cannot be proven or disproven by science), you're just the most fucking retarded person I have ever had the displeasure to meet, and I seriously seriously hope all this is trolling, because if you are honestly like this, I pity you and every person you will ever come into contact with, and while many people find you humorous (and I mean that in a bad way) I personally find the thick-ness of your skull and attitude offensive, after the initial "lawl lets laugh at the retard" phase naturally passes over.


Seriously, come on, please, someone with ban powers, just get rid of him.

(For the record, at least I'm not an asshole all the time, and when I am, I keep it ontopic, kthx.)


*ahem*

Ontopic: I really like the way TOH worded most of his stuff on honesty. Theres being honest and then theres just being rude.


However, truth be told, a girl once broke up with me because she said I was "too honest" with her about some things.

Yeah, go figure.

O_O That doesn't sound too good about the "too honest" part. ><


Run off? I'm no coward, I can assure you.

What upsets me is you flinging around your opinions like they are facts, anyone who disagrees is wrong, and you are the one true ruler and teacher. Knock it off.

Rika- You could try to explain to him the situation, he still might continue being an asswipe, but at least you addressed the situation?

I would address the situation (I think I have before). But he's not on, nor is his sister (been waiting all day's). ><

[Inazuma]

"inazuma is wrong"

uh, why am i wrong?

"inazuma is wrong"

well, alrite then. this isnt much of a conversation so i may as well stop. sorry for bothering you.

[McLaughlin]

Responding to only the first post, I'd argue that you suck at reading people. It isn't terribly difficult to tell when something you say strikes a nerve.

Another thing about honesty; the success you have with it it closely related to tact. Being blunt is not always the best approach.

EDIT: Nevermind, I'll save that question until after I read the thread first.

EDIT 2: Another online relationship, huh.

[Lyrix]

see? exactly the kind of reaction i was expecting. since its impossible to use logic to prove me wrong, all you can do is get upset and run off. i know it must be very frustrating for you. this is example one why being truthful may not always produce good results.

Using an inability to explain something as proof that it is wrong/doesn't exist is a logical fallacy, and you're just as unable to prove your side as they are to prove theirs. and before you say you were expecting this again, I'm an atheist myself, you're just an idiot.

Now that I've dealt with my moron for the day, i have to say i agree with what everyone has said. I cant see any good coming from lying to people for ANY reason, the truth may hurt, but if they cant see the truth, they can never know to fix any flaws or mistakes they may have, or help you with yours.

That being said, I'd much rather have people tell me my flaws rather than lie about them.

[Dhylec]

This was doing OK until flames erupted. I don't think the OP asked for flames here. The Op should have enough advices/opinions, which aren't right or wrong, by now, so let's douse this fire & get outta here for some fresh air - honestly.