Oh poor me. I didn't answer your IM. I guess that makes me an incorrigible asshole.

[KodiaX987]

Oh fuck me.

So, my laptop next to me has been closed while I backup the data on it. I hadn't noticed but I had left MSN on. Now, the thing clearly marks me as idle if there's no activity for five minutes.

It didn't stop someone on my list from messaging me, prodding me repeatedly for activity, getting pissed at the fact that I was supposedly ignoring him and then announcing that he's blocking me.

Bravo, dumbass. Bravo.

[Kylie]

Oh, I know exactly how you feel. My problem is that I don't like instant messengers, so I rarely get on them. Since I rarely get on, people jump when they see me on and all send me messages. A lot of them are people that I barely know, and they're determined to get to know me by asking me the same damn questions. :disapprove: When I get on a messenger, I usually get on to talk to just one person, so my responses aren't always timely. A few people have said that I was ignoring them when that happened... I guess those people are the ones that stay on messengers all day and chat with people. I'm not, so be happy that I at least answered you a few minutes after you said hi to me.

Another thing is, some people change their display name daily, and they expect me to know who they are. They get all offended, and then it turns out to be someone I barely knew in the first place. :etongue: I hate messengers. H8.

[CelestialBlade]

Ugh, I know what you mean. I am getting bloody sick and tired of people thinking I'm ignoring them because I don't reply to every single last thing. I feel like I'm some sort of life support to some people, and really, it gets to the point of pushing me away sometimes.

[SStrikerR]

I guess they weren't somebody you'd want to talk to much in the first place, so I'd say you're better off.

[Tessu]

Oh GOD, yes. I HATE people like that because I've had to deal with so many of them by now.

See, whenever someone says something I have no response to, I don't respond. Waste of time. If I'm on an instant messenger, then more likely I'm talking to several other people and I don't care about their IM. Then they get mad at me and I have to explain to them--over. and over. and over. and over. "I don't say anything when I have nothing to say." Then they tell me to respond with an emote or something so they know I'm listening to them. No, I don't want to do that. That's pointless and dumb and then YOU'LL probably stop responding because there is no response to "o.o".

Or if I'm, maybe, playing an MMORPG, or talking in a Skype call or doing something else that completely takes up my short attention span, I'll forget to respond, and then they whine AGAIN. No, I'm not "ignoring" you because you're unimportant, I'm just BUSY goddamn.

Then there was a guy who would try and guilt trip me. I'd miss an IM of his, and he'd ask me what I was doing. Then I'd say "I'm playing a game" or "I'm in a Skype call" or "I'm singing and listening to music" and I'd either get a reply like "oh I see where your priorities are" OR "-.-"

I felt bad for them, though, because they were all needy and desperate people and it took me a while to shake them off. :\ It was getting to a point where I wouldn't log on to an entire messenger SPECIFICALLY to avoid one or two people.

I also noticed that they ALL had something in common: Young men, 18-21, NOT in college, living with parents, no job, nothing to do all day.

So much pent up rage at these people because I quit talking to them all before I could slap them in the face and tell them they needed to learn to DGAF.
I guess it's my fault as much as theirs, because I only told them to stop that and I hated it at least 20 times. But I never had the heart to just tell them that they're idiots and block them or something.

[Outrider]

My, uh... my grandmother used to send me IMs when I was away from the computer. She didn't really understand what away messages were, so she figured I was just online. That's, uh... that's the extent my contribution to this thread.

And no, my grandmother didn't get pissed and block me.

[Rust]

That is the reason why I now am always on Busy status on MSN.

First, because I'm actually always busy, but keep MSN open in case someone wanna talk or one of my buddies have something to tell me he would like me to know (we barely ever use phone calls).

And second, I can answer to messages or not depending on the person who sends that message, its content, and if I feel like replying. Since I'm on Busy status, people don't get pissed when I don't answer.

And third, I have about 200 contacts, some who I don't even remember where I got them, and most are jumping on you once your status goes from Busy to Online. Like if I had time to handle freakin' 25 chat windows at the same time, not to add those who invite you in chitchat rooms with all their random friends / contacts for the 'fun'.

One of my friend usually send me links some times in the day because he thinks I should check them. He usually don't expect an answer (since I explained him the first time I usually have nothing to comment about links) and sometimes I don't even check when I don't have the time for it.

My guess is that if people block you because you 'ignored' them, that's fine. Blocking further contact with someone just because it took him more than five minutes to answer you is a pretty pathetic move. Turns out they didn't worth to waste your time on them after all.

[Kylie]

Like if I had time to handle freakin' 25 chat windows at the same time, not to add those who invite you in chitchat rooms with all their random friends / contacts for the 'fun'.
Oh God. :disapprove: I don't even care if I seem rude with those.

I hit the exit button so hard it's a miracle my wrist doesn't break. :wacko:

[Rust]

I usually only write :

"@retard : Don't invite me again ever or ninjasupression"

and quit the room.

If I get invited again, I ninjasupress. :wacko:

But now, most of my remaining contacts are either talking to me once every decade, or RL / Online good friends. Most of the morons I had from the internet died / got killed by me / mysteriously disappeared / met an UFO. Got them from the first ever message board I joined, where all the newbies were adding on MSN all the mods / admins + the top 10 posters from the sorta FKL section there was there.
No need to say I ended up sneaking into the profile of one of the biggest idiot of those boards and put his own MSN adress into my own profile to be left alone. I think he got many new friends. :lol:

[amtalx]

My computer is always on, thus always connected. I'm always in an away status regardless of my actual presence. The people that matter know when its likely for me to be around. This has been my routine for many years so no one gets offended if I don't respond.

[Aisha379]

Lawl I'm probably one of the guys Tess was talking about (maybe - she insisted I was a far cry from other people...plus I have a job...).

Oh, plus I never blocked anyone for not replying after a bit. Thats just a little crazy =S


Personally, I have always tried to reply to someone ASAP. Dunno why. Partially due to my OCD tendencies I'm assuming *shrug*. And part of me has always expected people to do the same. It used to bug me a lot, but it doesn't anymore really. The only thing that really pisses me off now is if people go away for long periods of time without actually saying their going to be gone >_>


I've never been particularly popular enough to have too many people talking to me at once though. So I can't relate to this situation on that end really...

[stukasa]

Oh, I know exactly how you feel. My problem is that I don't like instant messengers, so I rarely get on them. Since I rarely get on, people jump when they see me on and all send me messages. A lot of them are people that I barely know, and they're determined to get to know me by asking me the same damn questions. :disapprove: When I get on a messenger, I usually get on to talk to just one person, so my responses aren't always timely. A few people have said that I was ignoring them when that happened... I guess those people are the ones that stay on messengers all day and chat with people. I'm not, so be happy that I at least answered you a few minutes after you said hi to me.
I can relate to this so well. :lol: I actually like instant messengers though, I just hate getting jumped by ten people the moment I sign on, especially when I really only want to talk to 1 or 2 people. >.>


Then there was a guy who would try and guilt trip me. I'd miss an IM of his, and he'd ask me what I was doing. Then I'd say "I'm playing a game" or "I'm in a Skype call" or "I'm singing and listening to music" and I'd either get a reply like "oh I see where your priorities are" OR "-.-"
I have a friend like this too. I would be busy talking to someone else or doing something IRL and she'd get mad at me for not responding fast enough. She said the same things about priorities too. ^^; Eventually I just had to say, "Look, I'm trying to reply as fast as I can but don't freak out if it takes me a few seconds!" We're still friends but she doesn't use MSN anymore, and I have to say, we get along a lot better now. :lol:


I felt bad for them, though, because they were all needy and desperate people and it took me a while to shake them off. :\ It was getting to a point where I wouldn't log on to an entire messenger SPECIFICALLY to avoid one or two people.
I also have this problem. There are a couple people on my list that are REALLY clingy and will IM me as soon as I log on. I changed my log-in status to "offline mode" so I can check for them. If they're on, half the time I just stay in invisible mode until they leave. They're not bad people, but... well, it can be a but much to handle sometimes. ^^;


That is the reason why I now am always on Busy status on MSN.
That's what I started doing too. The problem is, people get used to me always using Busy status and now they just assume I'm free and message me anyway. At least this way I don't have to reply if I don't want to...


Personally, I have always tried to reply to someone ASAP. Dunno why. Partially due to my OCD tendencies I'm assuming *shrug*. And part of me has always expected people to do the same. It used to bug me a lot, but it doesn't anymore really.
I can relate to this. I feel bad when I don't respond to people right away because I don't like to keep them waiting. The problem is when I get 3+ chat windows open and I'm flying back and forth between them trying to respond ASAP. I used be in that situation all the time and it wore me out, to the point that now I only log in a few times per week, and even then I try to keep the number of open windows down if possible.

[The_Gio]

It only makes you an asshole, if you did it on purpose...if it was accidental and you explain why you didnt...and they didnt understand, then their the assholes. Simple as that. If your busy tho, you shouldnt really be on msn now should you?

I can understand when someone gets mad at someone not answering, but they shouldnt, they should be more considerate of the person. Maybe their not answering cuz their busy and left their computer alone and forgot their signed in

But as the person signed in, its also your responsibility to answer. If you dont answer cuz you forgot your on, then explain to the person what happened and that they should lighten up, but if your busy, your being the asshole right there, cuz whats the point of being signed on to be busy, just dont sign in if you got things to do. If something pops up that you have to do, thats why the acronym brb was invented :D if its gonna take a while say you got something to do and sign out.

and I also like to reply to people as soon as possible...mostly because, it shows attention. If someones taking long to respond, to me, it just means they honestly dont care. Cuz i mean you know if someone has more than 3 chat windows open and they all talk at the same time, your gonna go to the one that actually means something

[Kylie]

If your busy tho, you shouldnt really be on msn now should you?
As I said before, some people don't get on to talk to everyone, and I don't think you should feel obligated to reply to everyone as soon as humanly possible just because you're signed in. Also, some people want to sign in while they're playing a game, writing a paper, or posting on a message board in case anyone needs to reach them. You don't have to be looking for conversations.

[Rust]

Kylie beats me to it.
I don't use MSN to chat. Indeed I hold conversations now and then when I feel like doing it.
Most of the time, I'm just logged in so people can leave me messages in case they feel the need for it.
Much more convenient than a mailbox - you don't have to check it all the time, since it pops a window, and messages are faster to send that way (plus seriously, sending a mail to say at which hour you're gonna arrive at a party at night, or the like ? My mails are always big and long-written pieces).
I use Hotmail as my mailbox as well, so I can see when I get new mails with a simple check on my MSN. Sometimes I see an interesting message left by a friend when I wake up or go back from university and get on my computer, sometimes I'm there doing something else when people leaves me messages - in both cases, conversation follows or not.

Excuse me if I have other priorities over replying to an 'How are you ?' message from someone I know don't even care about the reply most of the time, that doesn't makes me an asshole. I never use those kinds of greetings in an IM, I always jump on the topic I want to talk about immediately ; same for my friends when they talk to me.

And like I said in a previous post, MSN is my main way of cummunicating with friends and other people. I'm not a cellphone person. I have one hour of communication per month, of which about 55 mins are postponed to the next month for not being used, and I find cellphone texting system plainly horrible (when you try to use proper grammar and spelling).
Most of my cellphone use is either to find and meet people when I'm out of home, for administrative stuff (internships, university for which it saves me 1:30 hour of transport for a simple question...) or long-time friends I didn't see in a while (in which case the conversation can hold around the whole monthly hour).

[Kylie]

And just to clarify, I don't care if someone tries to bug me as long as they understand that I might not respond to them as timely as they'd like. :-P I've complained about this before, and people started asking me if I was talking about them.

[Chuck_Norris]

This is why I don't use IM's. (At all) :wacko:

If I know someone in a game, I'll talk to them in the game. If it's on a forum, I'll talk to them on the forum. ect ect.

[Powder Keg]

I love people like that, because they make me laugh.

[McLaughlin]

I always appear Away. If someone really needs to get a hold of me, they either know when I'm likely to be on my computer, or they leave me a message anyway and I get back to them when I get it.

Been working pretty well so far. :/

[Leviathan]

IM's.
They make me rage.
I get on maybe 1-4 days a week now.
I only talk to few people.
I only talk to people that I want to talk to.
I don't wanna hear about your common day life cycle eveyday.

Boo hoo, I "ignored" your message.
I was busy.

I also hate it when people continuesly IM you even though you are away.
Like when you come back &then you have 7+ IM's from one person.
Seriously, if you have something THAT important then just call me, or send an email.
siolksdg,.dsmorj

[The_Gio]

um...there are other forms of communication. I personally prefer face to face communication, but dont mind to IM, text, or talk over the phone. When I think of IM, I think of instant message. I know everyone has their uses to them, i didnt mean to imply that IM only has one use, and thats to have conversations. I just see other forms of leaving people messages if I need to tell them something. Email is one form. Calling them, if their busy then ill call later. I dunno when I think of IM, I compare it to a phone, your not just going to walk away from the phone when someones talking to you,thats rude. So i dont really see it as a big hassle to just say "im kind of busy, can we talk later?" if IM is the only form of communication with the person, then odds are you dont trust them enough as it is anyway. So it shouldnt be that big a deal

All im saying is I understand both sides of the story. The person who is being IM'ed mightve been accidentally on, or is busy. But it is partially your fault for leaving your IM on, and should at least take a little bit responsibility. An apology goes a long way, and like I said, if an apology doesnt settle the person down, thats when it becomes their problem and their fault because you tried to reconcile.

[Nitro Vordex]

Responsibility? For what?

IM's are just that, instant messages. They're made for convienience(I'm pretty sure I spelled that wrong), not for someone to start raging at you when you don't respond right away. I don't really think there's anything THAT IMPORTANT that you can't wait a damn minute for me to come back.

[Rust]

um...there are other forms of communication. I personally prefer face to face communication, but dont mind to IM, text, or talk over the phone. When I think of IM, I think of instant message. I know everyone has their uses to them, i didnt mean to imply that IM only has one use, and thats to have conversations. I just see other forms of leaving people messages if I need to tell them something. Email is one form. Calling them, if their busy then ill call later. I dunno when I think of IM, I compare it to a phone, your not just going to walk away from the phone when someones talking to you,thats rude. So i dont really see it as a big hassle to just say "im kind of busy, can we talk later?" if IM is the only form of communication with the person, then odds are you dont trust them enough as it is anyway. So it shouldnt be that big a deal

All im saying is I understand both sides of the story. The person who is being IM'ed mightve been accidentally on, or is busy. But it is partially your fault for leaving your IM on, and should at least take a little bit responsibility. An apology goes a long way, and like I said, if an apology doesnt settle the person down, thats when it becomes their problem and their fault because you tried to reconcile.

I already explained what I think of texting, phone and mails. I avoid the first one as much as possible 'cause I really dislike it, and use the two other ones mainly for anything formal with administrative persons and such.
Currently, among the persons I consider as friends, the closest one lives at 30 minutes of driving from my place, car being the only way to reach his town since he lives in the middle of nowhere, and I don't own a car. Not to add he now is even further for his studies. Most of the others are reachable by transports (train + subway) with at best one hour and a half of time.
Now what you have to know is that I don't live in USA, but in France, where such travelling time is really considered as huge. I have some friends I met online (but really friends, we visited each others several times, travelled to Japan together, and such) who are living at about 4 to 6 hours of train from where I live, which costs much to reach them on the top of that, so we see each other usually once a year, at best.
IMs is our best way to communicate, though we all have fucked-up schedules, with last minute plans and such. So when we have something to share with each other, we leave messages on IMs to the one we want, which he / she usually reads when he / she gets back home, wakes up or whatever. On some rare occasions, we manage to catch each other and talk a bit ; I'm not even talking about the chore it is to plan a grouped chat with several of us. I can assure you that when we meet up, it's always a big good time.

As for the rest of the people I have on MSN who are likely to talk with me (I have two groups in which I have people who don't talk to me anymore : Useless, and Useable group - I keep them just in case, who knows), I pretty much warned them all on how I was using my MSN, and most of them are doing the same anyways, so I don't see where is the big deal.
I noticed that it works well better with people that way than signing on and off. When you're usually offline, people tends to jump on you once you get on because they feel like it's their only occasion before who knows when to say what they have to say. When you're always online, even if on Busy, Away or such, you appear more accessible, and people will more likely talk to you only if they have something worthy to say (not always, unfortunately).

Nobody ever held a grudge against me because I wasn't answering to them on IM, and some of them took no answer in the face several times because I was either off home, sleeping or busy doing something else (like playing a game on full-screen) - some people on those boards can confirm that, either from experience or from the said warning I gave them about my IM behaviour. I'm not expecting them to answer me instantly either ; if they do, alright, if they don't, I can understand they have better to do, it's not like my life was despending on an answer. I'd rather not being answered to than getting smiley faces on every messages I'm sending because the person I'm talking to doesn't care / know what to say and can't dare telling that to me.

[The_Gio]

I pretty much warned them all on how I was using my MSN

there, you warned them, your telling them your not responsible if you dont answer, they have no reason to get mad at you..if they do,its their problem...see my point? :D



Responsibility? For what?

IM's are just that, instant messages. They're made for convienience(I'm pretty sure I spelled that wrong), not for someone to start raging at you when you don't respond right away. I don't really think there's anything THAT IMPORTANT that you can't wait a damn minute for me to come back.

exactly, thats why i said, if its that DAM important just call em or email them to make sure they see it, if its an acquaintance, they shouldnt even have anything that important to tell you. Only reason I try to respond fast is cuz it just shows you care which is important if you plan to go anywhere with any friendship. When someone starts raging at you, and you give them a explanation as to why, if their still bothered its starts to become their problem. You dont have to explain yourself, if you dont just say so "sorry i was busy". Anyone that does not take an apology for something that can be solved with an apology is the one to blame if it gets to that point.

[Kylie]

I'm not apologizing to anyone for being busy. As I said before, there's no set way on how you're supposed to use MSN, and there wouldn't be a problem in the first place if the person accusing others of ignoring them wasn't so insecure and needy of attention. I'll try to understand the way they use MSN, but the question is if they'll do the same for me. Whether they do or not isn't my responsibility at all.

[The_Gio]

I'm not apologizing to anyone for being busy. As I said before, there's no set way on how you're supposed to use MSN, and there wouldn't be a problem in the first place if the person accusing others of ignoring them wasn't so insecure and needy of attention. I'll try to understand the way they use MSN, but the question is if they'll do the same for me. Whether they do or not isn't my responsibility at all.

but it is your responsibility to a degree. If your going to be busy, sign out. Simple as that. Tell everyone whoever your talking to that you have to do something, if you left it on by accident then explain what happened. I dunno about everyone else, but i dont like being kept in the dark as to why didnt someone do this, or why didnt this happen, I like to know things to know what to expect. Anyone who makes a bigger deal than what it is, is usually the one with the problem. Its like having a phone and being annoyed whenever someone calls you. If your that annoyed by it, turn it off.

but ok im just trying to explain there are always two sides to a story, but like the other post im posting in, i dont want this to become into another stupid argument, so ima just...stop posting now :D...

[Rust]

there, you warned them, your telling them your not responsible if you dont answer, they have no reason to get mad at you..if they do,its their problem...see my point? :D

No. Telling that I'm always on Busy status, even when I am there, and if I don't answer, I'm either away / unable to answer or not wanting to answer. My contacts know who they are dealing with from the start. Ignoring people when I feel like to is part of my personnality, and people who chose to keep in touch with me on an IM are then up to deal with it. Come on, everyone ignores other people much or less, for a reason or another.
I don't want people who can't get over something as futile as being ignored on an IM for something that doesn't worth it, since I never ignore on purpose something being important (OK it can be subjective, but no, what I ate for dinner is in no case something important).
The way I'm using my IM is indeed the result of my own decisions and not something going beyond my will. However, since they've been aware of that ahead on time, the decision to deal with it was theirs, not mine. I'm not compelling anyone to try talking to me over and over with few chances of getting an immediate answer if that's something they can't bear.

[DraginHikari]

Heh this is why I only keep people on my list that I feel like talking to...

Then again I'm the type who will always at least response to someone when they speak to me even if it's a: Can I talk to you later?

So maybe I don't even fit in this catogory XD

[CelestialBlade]

No. Telling that I'm always on Busy status, even when I am there, and if I don't answer, I'm either away / unable to answer or not wanting to answer. My contacts know who they are dealing with from the start. Ignoring people when I feel like to is part of my personnality, and people who chose to keep in touch with me on an IM are then up to deal with it. Come on, everyone ignores other people much or less, for a reason or another.
I don't want people who can't get over something as futile as being ignored on an IM for something that doesn't worth it, since I never ignore on purpose something being important (OK it can be subjective, but no, what I ate for dinner is in no case something important).
The way I'm using my IM is indeed the result of my own decisions and not something going beyond my will. However, since they've been aware of that ahead on time, the decision to deal with it was theirs, not mine. I'm not compelling anyone to try talking to me over and over with few chances of getting an immediate answer if that's something they can't bear.
This is basically how I go about things. I've been labeled as avoidant and such before, but my real friends know better than that and that's all that really matters.

[Para]

Meh if I am on the computer and I see a message pop up and I don't feel like talking, I make it known. If I am afk then lol whoops ;|

[Nitro Vordex]

but it is your responsibility to a degree. If your going to be busy, sign out.
I don't like that idea though, especially if you're near you're computer. Unless someone tells me otherwise that they are busy or if I tell them I'm busy(and trust me, I have no problem with leaving people on IM), I don't realy sign out.

Besides, signing out means you won't know if people are still on, and that would be an inconvinience. ;)

[amtalx]

Jeez, this is getting a little out of hand. There are no "rules of engagement" for signing into an IM client. If I don't answer your IM, look at it like a missed phone call. Either I was busy, or just plain not in the mood to talk. Its your responsibility not to start bleeding if I don't jump at your conversation, not my responsibility to make myself invisible unless I'm available and willing to talk. Don't get all bent out of shape because you erroneously drew the conclusion that I'm ignoring you. Leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Since this Burst chat is always the faceless internet and you might not know this guy personally, okay big loss.

If its your boss or coworker or something, good luck on staying calm while around someone so fickle and quick to judge.

Not getting a reply?
Might want to think about that for just a sec, longer than how long it takes to "bloop" over another chat sentence. And if you're getting upset on the internet about not getting an IM reply, you might need some real world (patience) rewiring or go straight back to e-mail there buddy, like you're 13 years old or younger/or 40 and newly integrated into the internets.

Also writing up the angry letter and not sending it.

So this guy seems to have many problems and hurdles; again, I hope you don't work with this person or see them on a regular basis and can't avoid 'em. Although an interesting new rant subject segue from the ol' classroom PC network noobs.

[KodiaX987]

It so happens that coworkers regularly answer IMs several hours after I've sent them.

Can't blame those guys. Most of the guys around here are working their butts off and it's somewhat conventional now that an IM is a "rush but not rush rush rush" thing. If the subject is really, extremely important and urgent, you go seek out the guy in person.

Thankfully, even the most asshole-ish guy in the workplace (relatively speaking) is more than bearable and actually gets serious and down to business when it's time to.



Internet, it's like night and day. I also get, on a regular basis, people who will join squads called "Talk" or "Microphone" in online games and yet they don't even have voice-chat enabled at all. Go go reading comprehension. Even moreso when the idiot repeatedly rejoins despite being kicked out of it everytime.

[The_Gio]

Since this Burst chat is always the faceless internet and you might not know this guy personally, okay big loss.

If its your boss or coworker or something, good luck on staying calm while around someone so fickle and quick to judge.

Not getting a reply?
Might want to think about that for just a sec, longer than how long it takes to "bloop" over another chat sentence. And if you're getting upset on the internet about not getting an IM reply, you might need some real world (patience) rewiring or go straight back to e-mail there buddy, like you're 13 years old or younger/or 40 and newly integrated into the internets.

Also writing up the angry letter and not sending it.

So this guy seems to have many problems and hurdles; again, I hope you don't work with this person or see them on a regular basis and can't avoid 'em. Although an interesting new rant subject segue from the ol' classroom PC network noobs.

Although this is a little harsh, I completely agree with this.