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Falke
Apr 12, 2009, 09:03 PM
SEED
Falke flung his weight to one side. He'd barely seen the ball of death that was megid - it barely missed him, passing him just a little to the right. It struck his Blackheart though, making the white photon blade flicker a murky purple, and the photon generator whined to compensate. If that had hit him instead of his weapon, there'd be nothing. Instant death.
His weapon restored to its usual bright white, Falke raised it before him and swung upwards, catching the Deljaban squarely in its chest, leaving a slice in the electrical field contained there; the slice sealed immediately, but the creature staggered backwards from the force of the blow, and Falke sensed his chance. Jumping high, he flipped forwards, bringing his Blackheart round with him, and using the momentum to force it squarely down the centre of the Deljaban's body. The black armoured hide splintered and Falke smelt the searing of flesh. Wasting no time, he sliced upwards, and then launched himself at the creature, feet first. His boots struck the hide, and he kicked off, landing heavily on the solid ground below, but sending the Deljaban flying across the room.
He was back on his feet in an instant, weapon raised. He was surrounded by SEED forms. Two Deljabans, one Sendillian, and three Pannons. Using his nano transformer to disintergrate his Blackheart into his inventory, he brought out his Asura-hiken. It was a slicer, a weapon designed to hurl blades of photon energy, and it was a weapon he had long since mastered. Ducking to the left, he hurled the first blade straight for the Sendillian, and he ducked to the right and hurled another, diving through the gap that his attacks had opened up.
Turning to face the approching enemies, and quickly backing up, he found himself feeling weary. These creatures were relentless, and he was only human. Breathing heavily, he wondered if this onslaught would ever end. But he knew he had to keep fighting, because if he failed the Colony might fall.


72 Hours Earlier
Windle stretched, enjoying the feel of the sunshine on his bare arms. It was another nice day on Parum. It was, literally, a world away from Moatoob, his native planet. He was used to dusty air, stifling heat, and endless deserts, which for the unprepared could spell sudden death. Here on Parum, with it's mild climate and warm sunshine, he could forget about the horrible things he had witnessed the last time he'd visited Moatoob's capital, Dagora City. The SEED virus had caught the citizens completely off-guard, transforming them into SEED forms before his very eyes. He'd had no choice but to purify them - they were dangerous, and a huge threat to what remained of the civilian population. He tried to justify it to himself like that every day, and every single day he felt like he was telling himself a lie. There had to have been more he could've done. He could still hear the screams.
Realising his mood was slipping, Windle turned his attention back to his surroundings. Parum was a marvel of technology and engineering, carefully guarded by the Alliance Military. Holtes City, Windle's current location, was the economic capital of not only the planet, but the entire Gurhal system. The planet's populaton was mostly human, yet the ruling class was certainly CASTs. Mechanical beings of humanoid design, CASTs were known for their effeciency in the politics and management required to run the planet, and humans had initially resisted. War had raged for many years, and finally ended with CAST supremacy.
It was different on Moatoob, ruled by the Don's of Rogue families. Many of them had fallen in the recent SEED conflict, and a power vacuum had appeared, although it seemed to Windle that things were slowly pulling themselves back together there. Don Tylor had taken charge and his leadership was slowly restoring Dagora City back to its former self.
His destination today lay in the east district - the GUARDIANS branch. Windle was due to meet another GUARDIAN there, and then proceed to the GUARDIANS Colony in orbit and report for new mobilization orders. He nodded politely as he passed civilians, and once or twice he unconsciously raised a gloved hand to the goatee that adorned his face. It'd been a full beard that time the previous day, and he felt a tiny bit foolish with it. He hoped he'd get used to it quickly. For his own worry about how silly it might look, nobody gave him a second glance, which relaxed him somewhat.
The GUARDIANS branch stood tall and proud, a short walk around a corner from the Flyer Base. The GUARDIANS logo was emblazoned in Orange above the door. As Windle approached, the glass doors hissed open.
"Welcome to the GUARDIANS, protecting the future of Gurhal!" chirped the female CAST behind the desk, "Are you Windle? Your partner is waiting over there."
Windle followed her direction, and turned to gaze upon a Newman male who was engaged in purchasing items from, with what Windle knew from his own personal experience, a male CAST model that was in every GUARDIANS branch. The Newman had long, dark blue hair, pulled back in a ponytail. From the angle Windle was at, he could just catch a glipse of glasses hooked onto the long, pointed ears.
Windle stepped towards him, and at the sound of his footsteps the Newman turned to face him.
"Ah, you'll be Windle." he said, as Windle stretched a hand out towards him, "I'm Tide, Tide Chanson. I'm your partner today."
"A pleasure." said Windle, shaking him carefully by the hand. He was a little surprised by the firmness of Tide's grip. A lot of people didn't like to shake a the hand of a Beast. Beast's had incredibly physical strength, and a Newman hand was especially frail. Windle knew that despite this, Tide would be a GUARDIAN to be reckoned with. Newman's possessed an incredible gift; they were able to sense and manipulate photon energy with their will, using it to create fireballs, bolts of lightning, and blasts of ice to name but a few. All the races had this ability to some degree, but none could come close to a Newman who had mastered the arts of what had become known as 'TECHNICs'. Some of them could even sense feelings and thoughts of others. Windle wondered if Tide could do this.
"Since you're wondering whether I can read your mind, the answer is no." laughed Tide, and at Windle's questioning look he added, "I can sense your feelings though. I felt surprise when we shook hands, and then a strong curiosity directed towards myself." He straightened his glasses as he grinned, "From personal experience, if someone is curious about a Newman upon the first meeting, that tends to be why. I think they worry we can see their thoughts, crystal clear like an open book."
"I wasn't worried about that," said Windle, carefully, "I just wondered how deep your abilities go."
Tide shrugged, "Fairly deep. About average I'd say. Some of my people are much better at this than I am. I can sense you're worried about offending me with this curiosity of yours, and you're being careful with your words. It's appreciated but unnecessary."
Windle nodded. Tide turned back to the CAST he has been dealing with.
"Sorry about that, sir." he said, "Didn't mean to be ignoring you there. I'll take another couple of Photon Charges, if you don't mind."
Windle turned away as Tide and the CAST completed their business and began to walk towards the door. A moment later, Tide appeared alongside him.
"Any idea where we're being deployed?"
"Not a clue," answered Windle honestly, "Hopefully it'll be somewhere quiet. We've been run ragged since the first SEEDfall."
"Hah." said Tide, nodding, "I hear that. It's bad enough having to fight the SEED, without the complications caused by the native creatures going beserk. It's getting to be a nightmare trying to get Koltova milk these days. Did you hear about Green Green Farm?"
Windle nodded, "Yes, I heard. A giant mutated Koltova, plus the rest of the stock turning violent. I hear Karen had her hands full with her trainees."
"You mean Hyuga and that Waber kid? Didn't he try killing the old president a while back?"
"So the rumours go. Honestly I don't know what to think. I'm more curious where Karen disappeared to. She hasn't been seen for a while."
Tide paused for a few moments before answering, "Do you know, I'd never even realised, but you're right."
The two of them walked in thoughtful silence to the PPT spaceport, where a ship was awaiting to transport them to the GUARDIANS Colony.

***

"No. Not like that," Lynessa sighed, and shook her head, "You're going to take someones head off if you're not careful."
"I'm not a spear person, Lyn, you know that," Falke sighed, and handed back the Muktrand; a spear that ended in a wicked, three pronged head. Lynessa was smaller and more slender than Falke, but the way she could swing that weapon around terrified him. He was bigger, stronger, and a lot worse with such a heavy weapon than she was. It was almost embarassing.
Lynessa twirled it once around her head, then brought it back the other way, before stopping and finally swinging it back the other way, over and around her back. Falke's eyes bulged just watching.
"I still don't know how you do that," he said, amazed.
"It's easy. You know, from the days when I was your instructor, I swear you've gone backwards. You'd have mastered this in no time."
Falke grimaced as she said that. Lynessa was a year older than him, and had joined the GUARDIANS when she was a young teenager. He'd joined just five years ago, when he was nineteen. Lynessa had been his instructor, and he'd benefitted greatly from her years of experience. The only weapon that she'd ever made him comfortable with was a saber, and he'd purchased a second-hand Blackheart just recently. They were powerful sabers with a strong photon output - nothing like those poor models sold by GRM. In hindsight though, GRM had been a staple of his earlier years with the GUARDIANS. Now he seldom went in there.
Lynessa Moonshadow was no nonsense, and she'd graduated top of her class when she was just fifteen. She'd received her GUARDIANS License a year later, and her Instructors License barely a month after. Falke couldn't help but feel intimidated by her. She was the kind of Guardian he aspired to be.
"I hear you're training with slicers these days," said Lynessa, a hint of disapproval in her voice. She liked weapons which put her in the thick of the action, like spears and swords. Falke had indeed been training with slicers, which hurled photon blades from the handheld generator. They were good at a distance. Falke had always considered it safest to be as far away from an enemy as possible, and the alien SEED had only reinforced that belief.
"Yes, I am. And before you say anything," he added, holding up a hand as her mouth began to open, "I've gotten to be very good with them already. Almost as good as with the saber."
One of Lynessa's eyebrows arched at this. She began to pull her hair back in a ponytail, producing a length of ribbon from her nano transformer.
"You can show me," she said, "We'll have a little contest."
"What, here?" asked Falke, looking around. They were in Lynessa's barracks in the GUARDIANS Colony. It was one big room, although a divide running close to the middle made it seem like two and seperated her sleeping and changing quarters from the rest of the room, "Won't we break something?"
"We'll be careful," she had a spartan room, without much decoration. A training mat rested against one wall with a sandbag hanging from the ceiling by it. Falke knew that Lynessa would spend her nights practising her punches and kicks against the sandbag before going to sleep. She took training very seriously. It was yet another reason he was intimidated by her - he trained, yes, but it was nowhere near as much a lifestyle for him.
Falke drew his slicer, moving to stand at one end of the room. Holding her Muktrand, Lynessa moved to the opposite end, the spear tip casting patterns of purple light along the walls.
Falke waited, and slowed his breathing, preparing himself for the clash to come, and waiting for Lynessa's signal that they were to begin.
She nodded.
Swinging the slicer, Falke sent a photon blade tearing towards her. It impacted the air very close to her body, and Falke glimpsed a flicker of blue; a line shield. A line shield covered the wearers body with a veil of photons that absorbed impacts. His slicer should be able to break through, but he'd need to put a lot more power into the swing.
Suddenly she was upon him, and Falke blinked, wondering if he really had seen her sitting on the shaft of her Muktrand, gliding through the air towards him without her feet touching the ground, but he knew he had. The power of photons was mysterious, indeed, but he had no time to reflect on this. Lynessa was in the air next to him, and he barely switched weapons to his Blackheart in time to parry the thrust that streaked towards him. And Lynessa seemed to be floating, raining down thrust after thrust, and Falke blocked, parried, and outright dodged, and his Blackheart struck the Muktrand again and again, their opposing elemental powers throwing them apart upon impact with a sound like bottled thunder.
And then she was on the ground again, swinging the Muktrand around in a wide arc towards his waist, the tip of the blade screeching the surface of the wall. Falke dropped without thinking, slipping underneath as the spear swung over his head, and he brought the Blackheart up as he rose to his feet. But Lynessa, quick and nimble as she was, easily dodged the blow and stepped back, bringing the spear back around and Falke was forced to smash it away with his saber.
He had to get close. Her weapon gave her a great advantage at a distance. Closing the gap should swing it in his favour.
She thrusted again, and rather than parrying it, Falke sidestepped and brought his weapon down on the shaft, knocking the blade into the floor. Sensing his chance, he kicked the spear aside and rushed towards Lynessa, bringing the Blackheart up and stopping a hairbredth from her neck.
"Yield." he ordered. He was surprised at himself. He had never bested Lynessa before, and her eyes widening showed she hadn't expected this. She had stopped breathing.
"Very well, I yield," and let out a breath as Falke moved the blade away.
"I didn't expect that," said Falke, passing the Muktrand back towards her, and was shocked to see her smiling.
"I know how you feel about close range combat, Falke, and you know I consider it the finest form of combat. Today," she gestured towards the Blackheart held at his side, "you proved me correct. Unable to pin me down at a distance with your slicer, you were forced to adapt, and bring out the Blackheart. Only with the close range weapon were you able to best me, thus proving me right."
Falke laughed, "You know, you're absolutely right. When it comes to SEED though, I'll keep them at a distance, if it's all the same to you."
She nodded. And Falke suddenly realised that he was no longer in her shadow anymore, and that he was her equal. Putting the Blackheart away into his nano transformer, he said his goodbyes and left.

elshagan
Apr 13, 2009, 08:00 AM
Holy bloody hell O.o... *waits for a year until a book is published then buys it* LOOOLS XD Why wouldn't it surprise me at all if you're a writer??? <.< But anyways it's amazing... Btw do you think you can have *cough*permanent*cough* guest apperances? XD

Falke
Apr 14, 2009, 05:00 PM
I'm not a writer, although I wish I was! :O

I may include guest appearences as the story progresses! Right now though I plan to concentrate on the characters I have, and maybe introduce one or two more. I'm considering including story mode characters at some point also.

Thanks for the feedback though! Part 2 will come when I write it!

Falke
Apr 26, 2009, 07:22 PM
SEED
An explosion tore through the closest Deljaban, and Falke shielded his eyes as blackened splinters of Deljaban hide tore at his face and clothes. The blast of Gifoie died away, and he was able to see a figure heading his way through the smoke.
"Oh, am I ever glad to see you!"
"I bet you are!" Tide turned, directing his attention to the second Deljaban. Another blast of Gifoie tore the Deljaban apart.
Falke saw the Sendillian turn towards Tide, and he took the distraction to slice his Blackheart into its hide. It wailed and collapsed to the ground, unable to move its hind legs. Falke finished it with a stroke to the head; flesh seared, and he turned away quickly, looking for the Pannons. They'd gone.
"Did you come here alone?" asked Tide incredulously.
"Yes, and don't give me that look. I didn't have time to wait for backup to arrive. Those SEED forms were heading directly for our fallback point."
"Hm, yes, I noticed that," Tide's brow furrowed, "Windle and I split up earlier whilst looking for you. We'd better go find him."

* * *

Kan Yu glowing, Windle swung the sword with all his might. It tore a gash through three approaching enemies and they fell, dead. He didn't like fighting Deljaban's on the HIVE's, but it was much worse fighting them in the familair corridors of the Colony. The Colony was supposed to be safe, the one haven where the SEED shouldn't be able to infiltrate. Fighting them in the deserted spaces of Clyez City made this war feel hopeless.
The doors and elevators were sealed. He was on the third floor, trying to hold back the SEED forms on his own. He was strong; beast blood surged through his veins. Windle feared it wouldn't be enough today.
Fires raged around the city; the flower beds, tastefully arranged, were burning, and the intense heat was suffocating. The smoke wasn't so much an issue - the ventilators would filter the worst of that into the air recyclers and dump it into space. The Colony had been designed to withstand almost anything.
A roar behind Windle made him turn. A Carriguine thundered down the hallway towards him. A giant and hideous fusion with a humanoid torso that sported massive curved photon blades for arms and a lower body like that of a beast, it had a head on each; on the humanoid portion the head was frightening. Wicked spikes jutted out at angles along the top, almost like a crown, and there was a large... Windle wasn't sure if it was an eye or not. It was a light orange, and it glowed like his line shield. It was in the dead centre of where a face would be. On the beast, the head was armoured, with a metallic looking fan extending away from it, making it difficult to attack the neck. There was no obvious mouth. Four eyes of glittering amber were set into the head, arranged two on either side, one above the other, like pips on a too wide die.
Windle rolled aside, the blade of the SEED-forms arm whistling through the air where he had just been. The sound of the blade was like that of the air itself tearing, and Windle was glad to have dodged. Wasting no time, he was on his feet, swinging the sword in a giant arc towards the exposed flank; it was an ideal point of attack with little armor.
With astonishing speed it leapt away, and the momentum of his slash made Windle stumble towards it. The Carriguine swung a bladed arm in a backslash, so that Windle was struck by the darkened bone supports rather than the blade they held. He sprawled back onto the ground, stunned; the Kan Yu slipped from his grasp.
The Carriguine moved towards him, and Windle could feel the floor shaking from it's steps as he lay there, unable to get his bearings, totally helpless. He barely registered what he was seeing as the humanoid torso leant over him, considering him. In a swift movement it brought one of the blades over, piercing through Windle's left shoulder. The pain snapped him back to reality, and he screamed, writhing, as the photon energy continued to burn inside his flesh. Pinned as he was, the movements made the pain worse, but he couldn't help it. He saw as the Carriguine began to swing over the other blade for the finishing move. He was going to die, and he was powerless to stop it. His heart hammered in his chest, and out of nowhere he felt anger pour into him in a terrible wave.
Screaming in rage, his nanoblast came in full force; the Carriguine was knocked back by the sudden change in Windle's biomass. His skin became toned blue, his features more beastlike. He rose to his feet in a rage, standing over eight feet tall, and effortlessly grabbed the photon blade that the Carriguine swung towards him. He felt the creature struggle against him, and he spread his feet for balance, and caught the other blade as it was sliced towards him. He fought for leverage, pushing with all of his might, ignoring the pain in his shoulder as his muscles flexed. Feeling the right timing, he released the blade in his left hand, and the Carriguine slipped forwards. Wasting no time, Windle brought his free arm down on the solid abdomen. It splintered beneath his blow, and the Carriguine howled in pain. It tried to jump back again - Windle's other hand, still holding the bone, kept it rooted to the spot and it toppled. Windle released the blade and let it fall, and he ran forwards, pounding the struggling SEED with his fists and feet, feeling the solid hide crack and shatter under his onslaught. The Carriguine roared in final defiance, and finally lay still.
Chest heaving, Windle felt the rage evaporate, and he fell to his knees as his nanoblast left him. Blood flowed freely from the wound in his shoulder. He looked towards the Carriguine; he wanted to see it dead, to be sure. It didn't move. His shoulder burned like fire, and he'd left his healing items at the fallback point. He was going to bleed out; already the floor was slippery with his blood. He had to try to cover the wound. He raised his uninjured arm, and pressed his hand against torn flesh.
Liquid fire lanced anew through his shoulder upon his touch, and he saw stars flash in front of his eyes. He slipped sideways, landing on his side on the floor he couldn't feel. His hands seemed to tingle, and he felt heavier than he ever had done in his life. His vision began to fade. Trying to fight it off, Windle attempted to raise himself; a fresh jolt of pain finally overloaded his senses, and he dropped limply to the floor, unconscious.


48 Hours Earlier
"What do you mean?" Lynessa asked, her voice hard, "Another SEEDfall?"
Clamp nodded, "It looks like it. The president wanted to brief you herself, but she's too busy today," he adjusted his glasses, "It goes wthout saying that this is severely bad news."
"And you're certain they'll intercept the Colony?"
"Absolutely positive. We're rechecking the figures as we speak, but it's not looking good. They're coming from the distorted space where we located Rykross."
There was a hiss as the door to the briefing room slid open, and Falke entered. He immediately saw the looks on their faces.
"Why so grim?"
Lynessa explained. A large group of SEED had left distorted space and were approaching the Colony. They were expected to intercept in just two days.
"Can't any of the Alliance Military ships take them out?" Falke asked, wide-eyed.
"No. We've pulled the remaining ships back to protect all the planets. Of course, with the LSS that the Communion have supplied, the planets should be relatively safe," Clamp paced backwards and forwards, and Falke settled himself into a seat, "It goes without saying that the planets must take priority. The Confinement Systems, as well as the citizens, must be protected. The Colony is, sadly, expendable."
"We're not bugging out, are we? Just letting the SEED have it?"
"Of course not, Falke," said Lynessa softly, "Guardians will be deployed to defend from any SEED contamination."
"What support will they have?" asked Falke.
Clamp sighed, "None. Everyone's spread too thin to be able to help. And given the relative lack of importance placed on the GUARDIANS Colony, we're not ordering Guardians to stay here and fight. This is extremely high risk - the only backup you will have is each other. We are evacuating all personnel and civilians to Parum for the interim of the emergency."
"So we have to choose between staying here and fighting, or evacuating to Parum?" Falke didn't give chance for an answer, "What's the president doing?"
"At the insistence of the headmaster, she is evacuating also. She wanted nothing more than to stay here and fight alongside whoever stayed, let me assure you."
"How many Guardians are staying?" enquired Lynessa.
"Approximately fifty." answered Clamp, "It's not many, I know, but since the riots on Moatoob and the preparations for the Unification Point, it's the most we can spare."
"Fifty-one," said Falke, standing up, "The Colony won't fall."
"Fifty-two," corrected Lynessa. She turned to Clamp, "What're our orders?"

* * *

Windle sat on his bunk. Moatoob might've been his native world, but his quarters were on the Colony, like many other Guardians. He'd turned a spartan room into a home; it seemed strange to think that SEED were approaching this place.
He turned his head to the right, staring out of his window. It was extremely thick - it had to be, to survive micro-meteorite impacts. The view was directly out into space. He could sometimes see one of the planets, but none were there now. Empty space.
Not quite empty, he reminded himself. An army of SEED hurtled towards him through the darkness. He had volunteered to stay aboard the Colony and attempt to defend it; a small army of Guardians against an army of SEED. The odds were stacked against them, but then, he reflected, they always were these days. Since the first SEEDfall it'd been one battle after another, whether it was the SEED themselves, or the creatures they had infected.
Thinking of SEED infection brought Windle's mind back to the Moatoob slaughter. Cursing, he got to his feet, and paced the length of his room, wanting the action to start, wanting to kill SEED forms for bringing this mess to the system. The waiting was agony.
His head snapped up as there was a knocking on his door. He walked over, passed his hand across the lock, and the door slid open. A human male stood there, a little shorter than himself. His brown hair was messy, and he wore orange glasses that reflected the light from the corridor.
"Hi!" he said, "My name's Falke. Am I correct in assuming that I'm addressing Windle?"
Windle nodded, "Yeah," he said, a little cautiously; he didn't get many visitors, "How can I help you?"
"I hear you accepted the mission to defend the Colony. I did too. I'm just trying to get to know the people I'll be fighting with."
"Yes, I did," Windle nodded, "You did too, huh? Think we have any hope of surviving this?"
"Honestly? Maybe if we're lucky," Falke sighed, "I've seen the photos of the incoming SEED. The photos are low resolution at that distance, but it looks like there's hundreds of them. We'll probably need a miracle to win this on our own."
"Yeah, I saw them too. Come in, don't just stand there," he stepped aside, allowing admittence, "Has the evacuation completed?"
"Not quite," Falke stepped into the room and looked around, "Huh, nice place you have here. Anyway, the last ships are leaving within the hour. Soon we're going to have the whole Colony to ourselves."
"That's not a prospect I enjoy," Windle sighed, "This place will be weird without the people. Dead."
"Well. We have two days to ourselves. I've been speaking with a couple of other Guardians, and we want to seal off a lot of the access passages, as well as the linear line. We could use a hand, if you're up for it."
"I'm up for it," said Windle. He was desperate to do something, anything, and blocking areas off could be undertaken without too much thought, "Where to?"
"Central table," answered Falke, "We're meeting there to discuss our plans and strategies."
"Then let's get going!"

elshagan
Apr 27, 2009, 10:08 AM
Another good episode but you shoulda have like spaces between the dialogs... Cause it kinda gets... Irritating, so to say... Also on the too wide dice part... You wrote... Die instead of dice... XD

Falke
Apr 27, 2009, 10:19 AM
Dice is plural. Die is singular.

I'm not sure what you mean about the spaces between dialogues. Could you give an example? In the wordpad document I use, each new line of dialogue/paragraph is indented, but PSOW doesn't translate that in my posts.

elshagan
Apr 27, 2009, 11:20 AM
Ah, well i mean like this
[
"Yeah, I saw them too. Come in, don't just stand there," he stepped aside, allowing admittence, "Has the evacuation completed?"

"Not quite," Falke stepped into the room and looked around, "Huh, nice place you have here. Anyway, the last ships are leaving within the hour. Soon we're going to have the whole Colony to ourselves."
]

So you can easily notice when it's someone else talking... Also I always thought Dices was plural of dice... <.< Mmh, well you're right lools...

Falke
Apr 27, 2009, 12:13 PM
I haven't seen that format used in any kind of book I've read. I prefer not to leave gaps like that. It breaks up a scene and looks untidy.

I'll try to indent these sections to make them easier to identify.

Zyrusticae
Apr 27, 2009, 12:35 PM
Well, keep in mind that books are generally thinner on the page spread than a PC monitor screen, which allows the eye to more easily find the next line than when the lines are over a dozen words long. Also keep in mind that books have a physical space limitation - they have to avoid blank space because they want to avoid (relatively) high production costs.

On the internet, things are a bit different. It may be to your benefit to do things a little differently here, as it is, after all, a different medium.

....And, no, I haven't read your story yet. But I'll get to it! ...Eventually. ⌐ ⌐;

elshagan
Apr 27, 2009, 02:29 PM
Well, keep in mind that books are generally thinner on the page spread than a PC monitor screen, which allows the eye to more easily find the next line than when the lines are over a dozen words long. Also keep in mind that books have a physical space limitation - they have to avoid blank space because they want to avoid (relatively) high production costs.

On the internet, things are a bit different. It may be to your benefit to do things a little differently here, as it is, after all, a different medium.

....And, no, I haven't read your story yet. But I'll get to it! ...Eventually. ⌐ ⌐;

Agreed, n what he says is true... It's hard to follow a straight line on a PC then in a book... Plus books also tends to have further clearance between the rows... Not sure what it's called... Lools...

Falke
Apr 27, 2009, 06:21 PM
Well, there we go. Edited for ease of reading! You do not want to know how long that took me to figure out in the edit area. x_x

Anyways, hope that makes it somewhat easier on the eyes. Let me know!

elshagan
Apr 27, 2009, 11:49 PM
Yep much easier to read n I also noticed now that first time I read it I skipped some lines O.o At least I got em now... :P