Child Discipline

[Kylie]

First of all, do you want children, and if you do or already have a child, what do you do or plan to do about discipline? How do you feel about spanking?

[goldbrease]

I feel spanking can be used as a punishment but only in certain situations. spanking a child for everything bad they do can cause them to become mean and rebellious. it also causes them to become violent and aggressive.

[HUnewearl_Meira]

I will have a child in a few months. I regard spanking as an acceptable form of corporal punishment. It really only makes up a small part of an incomplete picture, though. Punishment constitutes the primary manifestation of negative attention, and it seems to me that too many parents only know how to give this sort. The fact is that children crave their parents' attention, and if negative attention is most readily obtained, then negative attention is what they will pursue.

Ideally, a child is given a balance of both positive and negative attention. If you offer only positive attention, then the child fails to develop discipline, and goes on to become a fool in adult life. With no positive attention, however, negative attention becomes normal, and prison becomes severely more likely than prosperity.

Therefore, children must be rewarded when they do well, punished when they do wrong, and given instruction in all circumstances. Spanking is fine, when it can be carried out swiftly and to the point, without ambiguity concerning the cause, but the hugs and ice cream cones are also quite important.

[goldbrease]

you must also look into it now that spanking in public can land your children into foster care in many states.

its actually better to find punishments that are not violent. having them sit in a corner with their nose to a wall or taking away all their toys, no deserts, a chewing out in a non violent manner, if they can read, force them to read the dictionary, force them to do the dishes, fold the laundry.

[Omega_Weltall]

BEAT THEY ASSES! A good hard whoopin'll set them li'l bastards in line! Every time I misbehaved I got my ass whooped with the quickness! Sometimes I had to go out and find the switch my parents will hit me with, and I turned out just fine......(twitches). If they realy get outta line hit em with an extension cord, I did! That or a hot wheel track, slipper, Nintendo controller wire, good o'l fashioned belt.

No but seriously, I don't know. Its a tough decision, because you don't want your kid to walk all over you and you don't want some angry ass psycho kid who goes on to abuse small animals.

[Majarra]

I will have a child in a few months. I regard spanking as an acceptable form of corporal punishment. It really only makes up a small part of an incomplete picture, though. Punishment constitutes the primary manifestation of negative attention, and it seems to me that too many parents only know how to give this sort. The fact is that children crave their parents' attention, and if negative attention is most readily obtained, then negative attention is what they will pursue.

Ideally, a child is given a balance of both positive and negative attention. If you offer only positive attention, then the child fails to develop discipline, and goes on to become a fool in adult life. With no positive attention, however, negative attention becomes normal, and prison becomes severely more likely than prosperity.

Therefore, children must be rewarded when they do well, punished when they do wrong, and given instruction in all circumstances. Spanking is fine, when it can be carried out swiftly and to the point, without ambiguity concerning the cause, but the hugs and ice cream cones are also quite important.This. Im not a parent but when my brother does something wrong I put him in the bathroom for 10minutes. Hes doing a bit better.

[Volcompat321]

you must also look into it now that spanking in public can land your children into foster care in many states.

its actually better to find punishments that are not violent. having them sit in a corner with their nose to a wall or taking away all their toys, no deserts, a chewing out in a non violent manner, if they can read, force them to read the dictionary, force them to do the dishes, fold the laundry.

When I was younger, I'd much rather a spanking. Fuck reading a dictionary or washing dishes lol. When I was a kid, I wanted to go outside, skateboard, play manhunt, tag, baseball. I wanted my punishment fast and out of the way.
The worst thing you can do to a kid is confine him/her to his/her room, while taking EVERYTHING fun out of the room. When I was a younger, even though I'm only 20, we didn't have playstation 2's or computers (believe it or not, internet wasn't big back in '95 :o )
The only system I had when I was around 8-14 was a Super Nintendo, N64 eventually, then a Playstation.
When I did something stupid my asshole of a step-dad(at the time) took all that away, grounded me for two weeks (had to STAY in my room). He took my TV, and systems out, baseballs, radio blah blah everything.
One of the worst thing he did was keep my TV in my room, all my video games I had, but TOOK THE CORDS SO I COULDN'T PLAY THE GAMES!!!!!!!!!
That was a slap in the face :(

Anyway, I'd rather get my spanking and be on with my fun. Pain lasts 5 minutes (in some cases)
Grounded in your room takes a while longer.

On topic, sure, it's okay to spank your kid/s, as long as it doesn't leave bruises or welts. Be reasonable, don't try to hurt them, try to teach em a lesson.
In Florida, if you leave a bruise or welt on your kid, the kid can call the cops and parent/s will be arrested.
I work on a kids unit of a mental health facility, I see this happen all the time among other things.

[HUnewearl_Meira]

In California, the law regarding spanking is such: you may use only an open hand, and you may only hit their bottom. Anywhere else, and it becomes a legal problem.


its actually better to find punishments that are not violent. having them sit in a corner with their nose to a wall or taking away all their toys, no deserts, a chewing out in a non violent manner, if they can read, force them to read the dictionary, force them to do the dishes, fold the laundry.

If my children are anything like me, then reading from the dictionary will fail to be a punishment. Just the same, chores should never be punishment-- to do so, is a good way to teach them that work is an undesirable thing. The best thing to do, is to identify a punishment that is suitable to the misdeed.

[BlaizeYES]

depends how fast the kid learns and how smart that same kid is. most kids will learn compassion, empathy, and understand morality at a younger age. but i still dont think that kids should be hit, because then it causes an adverse effect, and if that kid decides "he wont be afraid," he's just going to keep fighting against authority figures. or even worse, thinks that "fear" is what creates a competent authority figure, and mimics this himself... and the only way to keep those people in check is making them "fear" you or "teaching them a lesson."

the goal of parenthood shouldnt be "to make sure your kid doesnt get in trouble," it should be to help that kid understand everything and be able to make decisions in their lives where what is "right" and "wrong" isnt the cornerstone of the teachings, but is still present. and not through abuse, but because the kid learned the answer to "why" you dont do something.





we had this topic before though

[SabZero]

I don't think violence and screaming will be good for a kid. I also know parents are only human.

The important thing is to have a clear plan from the start, and being consequent. Kids actually want boundaries. It helps them get a grip on the world and themselves.

[Outrider]

Here is what I'm going to do:

When I have a kid, I'm going to buy a Superman costume and hide it in my closet. I'll then ask my kid to go get something out of the closet for me where he'll easily find the costume. When he asks me about it, I'll very quickly grab it from him and hide it and assure him that it's nothing to worry about. I'll also tell him that it's very important that he doesn't tell anybody about finding the costume.

The key is to make sure that all of my friends do the same thing with their children at around the same time, except with different costumes. One would be Batman, one would be the Flash, etc. The next time we all get together, my kid would tell everyone how strange it is that he found a Superman costume in his dad's closet. Then, the next kid would say his dad had a Batman costume, followed by the next kid and the next kid.

Eventually, they would assume that their parents are secretly members of the Justice League. Let's see them try and defy us when they're more terrified that Lex Luthor is going to take them away in their sleep.


So anyway, that's the story of how I'm going to lose my kids to Child Protection Services.

[Zarode]

First of all, do you want children, and if you do or already have a child, what do you do or plan to do about discipline? How do you feel about spanking?

Screw kids, I can barely handle you guys as is. And spanking is for wussies, true parents crucify their children. (I got spanked, I got cornered, I got dictionary'd. The most effective of them all was psychological warfare. You gotta make your kids afraid of getting in trouble for it to truly work. So yes, you gotta be aggressive, and you gotta make it hurt. Child abuse is just a term meaning that people are weak. 90% of the time it is not real child abuse.)

[SStrikerR]

Just yesterday I witnessed a father screaming at his 8 year old son because he wasn't playing baseball the "right" way. Now I don't think I know much about parenting, but I can tell that screaming at your child until he/she crys and wants to run from you is NOT the right thing to do. Personally, I don't like spanking. I think that it's wrong to hit a kid because they do something wrong. Does your boss hit you when you make a mistake? I plan on trying different things and see which one works best. A punishment that wouldn't make my child hate me, yet would get the message across well enough. Of course this won't be for quite a while and my thoughts may change, but this is my current view.

Oh, I just though of something else I feel I should add. Parents and sports. It's insane what some parents do. They push little kids to the limit because they think that their kid will be the next michael jordan, Jerry Rice, etc. etc. even if the kid does not want to play the sport. Some parents force their children to play, and go to insane lengths to try to make the kid make it to the NFL or whatever. Seriously, I've seen people take 5 year olds to the gym because, "It's football season, he needs to get into shape."
...Really?

[HUnewearl_Meira]

depends how fast the kid learns and how smart that same kid is. most kids will learn compassion, empathy, and understand morality at a younger age. but i still dont think that kids should be hit, because then it causes an adverse effect, and if that kid decides "he wont be afraid," he's just going to keep fighting against authority figures. or even worse, thinks that "fear" is what creates a competent authority figure, and mimics this himself... and the only way to keep those people in check is making them "fear" you or "teaching them a lesson."

The results you describe come from regular corporal punishment, taken to an extreme. You'll find that the opposite extreme is just as harmful. As it turns out, no corporal punishment, combined with being made to sit at the kitchen table for days on end, and having all privileges revoked for grievously extended lengths, can still produce an angry personality with high potential for violence (indeed, participation in the drowning of misbehaved cats probably doesn't improve this disposition, either). The point is: extremes are always harmful.

As with all things, child discipline requires balance.

[Kylie]

Having a kid is not in my dreams at the moment, but it's something that's up for discussion. One or two at the most though; I'm not very domestic. :o As for discipline and spanking, I don't think spanking a child is too much as long as it's done to punish the child and not to relieve the parent. However, what I can do with words and non-physical discipline would probably be much more painful than anything I could do with my hand, so I'd probably take that road most of the time. But hey, whatever works.

[xxxErMaCxxx]

When I was younger, I'd much rather a spanking. Fuck reading a dictionary or washing dishes lol. When I was a kid, I wanted to go outside, skateboard, play manhunt, tag, baseball. I wanted my punishment fast and out of the way.
The worst thing you can do to a kid is confine him/her to his/her room, while taking EVERYTHING fun out of the room. When I was a younger, even though I'm only 20, we didn't have playstation 2's or computers (believe it or not, internet wasn't big back in '95 :o )
The only system I had when I was around 8-14 was a Super Nintendo, N64 eventually, then a Playstation.
When I did something stupid my asshole of a step-dad(at the time) took all that away, grounded me for two weeks (had to STAY in my room). He took my TV, and systems out, baseballs, radio blah blah everything.
One of the worst thing he did was keep my TV in my room, all my video games I had, but TOOK THE CORDS SO I COULDN'T PLAY THE GAMES!!!!!!!!!
That was a slap in the face :(

Anyway, I'd rather get my spanking and be on with my fun. Pain lasts 5 minutes (in some cases)
Grounded in your room takes a while longer.

On topic, sure, it's okay to spank your kid/s, as long as it doesn't leave bruises or welts. Be reasonable, don't try to hurt them, try to teach em a lesson.
In Florida, if you leave a bruise or welt on your kid, the kid can call the cops and parent/s will be arrested.
I work on a kids unit of a mental health facility, I see this happen all the time among other things. Wow while i was reading this post that I Quoted I couldnt help but think this guy is my clown. I had the same type of punishment at the same age. My stepdad would punish me for weeks by not letting me out of my room he even put a lock on the outside of the door so that I could'nt open it. He went through the trouble of buying a bucket that I can use 2 urinate in. He removed the phone, TV, Super Nintendo, Nitendo 64, and PS1. The only way I was allowed out of my room would be to do #2. Now im 20 im joining the army and my stepdad is unable 2 get out of bed becuase of his diabetes. I love Karma

[Kent]

I hate other peoples' children. Hate, hate, hate. It should be considered a misdemeanor to continue to occupy a public or private place outside of your own residence with a screaming child, if you're asked to leave by anyone. Including such exotic locales as airplanes in flight and mid-transit trains and subways.

That being said, I don't want kids at the moment. Especially not now, since when/if I do have kids, I want to be in a much more financially well-off situation than I am currently, so as to not be a failure at providing, and I'd have had enough time to get my career's momentum going comfortably.

As for discipline? Well, I'd consult Bender on that one.

Having dealt with quite a few people that don't always comprehend english that well (despite it being their native language), sometimes giving a stern talking-to won't work - and kids, depending on age, may not have much command of logic, reasoning, and communication skills yet; so certain other measures may be (unfortunately) necessary.

[furrypaws]

Here is what I'm going to do:

When I have a kid, I'm going to buy a Superman costume and hide it in my closet. I'll then ask my kid to go get something out of the closet for me where he'll easily find the costume. When he asks me about it, I'll very quickly grab it from him and hide it and assure him that it's nothing to worry about. I'll also tell him that it's very important that he doesn't tell anybody about finding the costume.

The key is to make sure that all of my friends do the same thing with their children at around the same time, except with different costumes. One would be Batman, one would be the Flash, etc. The next time we all get together, my kid would tell everyone how strange it is that he found a Superman costume in his dad's closet. Then, the next kid would say his dad had a Batman costume, followed by the next kid and the next kid.

Eventually, they would assume that their parents are secretly members of the Justice League. Let's see them try and defy us when they're more terrified that Lex Luthor is going to take them away in their sleep.


So anyway, that's the story of how I'm going to lose my kids to Child Protection Services.

<3

Anyways, here goes. Basically, from what I recall of being four-six, my mind was racing and changing ideas so quickly that a psychological punishment didn't do much. I forgot things easily, so my parents just telling me something was wrong normally didn't stick, unless I could tell they were really, really upset with me. Another thing I remember is physical punishment, which, to be honest, I wish I had more of growing up. When you got spanked for talking back to your father, you remembered that it was a no-no.

I see too many kids just walk over their parents, and their parents be wimps about it and not doing anything. If speaking to your child doesn't work, try spanking them. No, your boss doesn't hit you when you misbehave at work, but the minds of adults and the minds of children are so radically different that you don't use the same punishments. How many of you were spanked when you were fourteen? Thing is, as a child, if you do something like take away desert for a week, they forget what desert is by the end of the week. They will never forget that spanking.

[BlaizeYES]

my dad would get home later in the night, we could always tell by the keys in his pocket regardless which room we were in when he entered, and me and my brother would find the nearest exit and bolt... and really, it didnt matter if we did or didnt do something bad, we'd know we would get OUR JUST PUNISHMENT from the power of the law... the later in the night he came home, the worse we were off and the slower he'd move, so it turned into a game. if you got caught in your escape route, you were fucked. if you faced the problem head on, usually it got it out of the way earlier, but you'd have to make sure he remembered dealing the beating, so that way, he could cross you off "the enemies list" for the night.

but with that, it had negative effects too with hitting. my brother became soft, always played the victim, and always had this really manipulative way of delivering bad news. i always just said, "fuck it i'm going to get caught anyway and get hit, judgement has been decided" before even doing anything that i'd get punished for, so i was never subtle about what i'd do. that would displease the authorities more than trying to talk your way out of it. BEST TIME OF MY LIFE

[Outrider]

and really, it didnt matter if we did or didnt do something bad, we'd know we would get OUR JUST PUNISHMENT from the power of the law

Are you saying that your dad used to hit you regardless of whether you had done something wrong or not?

Because, uh... that's not okay. In any way whatsoever. I really hope I misunderstood that.

[Volcompat321]

lol...I think I read it the same way as you.