Teenage years.

[furrypaws]

I hardly need to explain this one. Although I've been in my teenage years for quite a few now, it just seems to be at its peak now. Someone please tell me it gets better. The whole getting depressed every other night, not knowing who I am or who I want to be, watching everyone and everything whip past me while I just sorta sit like a stick in the mud. I wish it was all over with already.

I want to just talk to someone and unload, but I don't want to sound whiny or needy or randomly burst into tears. I've already settled with the fact that I'm never going to be anything special, or extraordinary, and whatever my job is, it probably won't be what I love to do most. But some nights, I just think those thoughts to myself, and it gets to me, you know?

I kind of feel weird, nervous even, just posting about this to a bunch of people I hardly know on a website of an obscure game, but I just wanted to say it somewhere. It feels a little better, just a bit, so that's something good at least. I hope it doesn't sound too much like some generic Myspace blog, but it probably does. Oh, well.

tl;dr: Hormones suck.

EDIT: It's been like ten minutes and I'm already reluctant to leave this up. I guess I might as well and see what people have to say, if anyone has anything to say that is.

[Nitro Vordex]

Oh man. I know how that teenage years suck thing is. Got it right now.

But you can't sit around and watch. Time won't wait for you to make a decision. Complaining about it won't help either. Believe me, I've tried. This last year of high school will be the start of the rest of my life.

Honestly, I'm scared. There's a lot of things I need to do, and I feel like I've wasted my high school years. I could have been so much more, and yet I've done nothing. All I can do is hope that I can find something in college, if I even get to go. And these teenage hormones haven't done shit for me.

That's why, there's a lot that I need to figure out in the last year I have, before real life kicks in. It's already shown itself a few times in my life, and I know it'll rear its ugly head again soon.

The only thing you can do is move forward. You can't wait for people how to tell you to live your life. It doesn't work like that. You can ask around how to feel, you can ask what you should do, but the best thing you can do is ask yourself. You are your own worst critic, but you also know yourself the best.

The hormones you speak of that make you feel like shit at night? Yeah, they suck. I've got them too, and I fucking hate them. They tend to make you think things like you're not good enough or you're not smart enough. That's a good thing, because then it gives you a drive to make yourself better. You should ALWAYS remember those thoughts, because then you can defy them and better yourself.

Don't watch. Find a place to grab that blur of life, and hold on as hard as you can.

tl;dr I try to make sense It'll be fine.

[Kent]

I've already settled with the fact that I'm never going to be anything special, or extraordinary, and whatever my job is, it probably won't be what I love to do most.
That depends on what you call "special."

For what it's worth, you can only solidify your chances of having a lackluster job if you give up on it - how much can it really hurt to try?

[Volcompat321]

I've never experienced the whole teenage hormone thing.
I guess I was lucky.
I loved high school, and miss it now :( I'm only 20 so I only just got out of my teen years.
I will be 21 next month (31st) and I feel like the time has just gone too fast.
I haven't had much time to actually do what I want. I set my goals to be a police officer by the time I'm 21. I'm not even in school for it!
Try not to think you will become nothing special or anything, cause your not alone.
I cant speak from my own experiences, because I guess I handled things differently, it's just who I am, and how I do things. :/
Like Nitro said, the only thing you can really do is move forward.
Let life pick you up and bring you to the future. It will come, and things will work out in your favor if you are determined enough.
Nothing is perfect, things will be bad, things will be good. Just remember, there are worse things out there than what you are experiencing.
Good luck to you, and make your future how you want it.
Don't let life pass you by, make things happen the way you intend on doing so!

[Outrider]

I've never experienced the whole teenage hormone thing.
I guess I was lucky.
I loved high school, and miss it now :( I'm only 20 so I only just got out of my teen years.

Well, it doesn't hurt that you act like you're 14.

To the OP - Like everyone has said, just keep looking towards the future and making sure that you keep a positive attitude (when the hormones allow it.) I think the very fact that you realize that the world isn't an awful place and it's mostly just you going through the motions puts you in a much better position than most people I knew when I was in high school.

[AC9breaker]

I agree, Saved by the Bell Sucked once it went to the college years.

Also I always thought Jessie Spano was the hottest of the 3.

[SabZero]

Looking back I realised how limited ones horizon is when a teen. So yeah, it does get better, meaning you'll understand more as you go.

Have a nice read here. (http://www.mcwilliams.com/books/books/doit/) As a teenager, your possibilities are a little limited (parents, legality etc), but it can point you in a good direction.

If you struggle with depression, and really depression, not just being sad/down, maybe talk to someone (face to face).

[Sinue_v2]

Someone please tell me it gets better.

I'm sorry to say, it doesn't seem to get better. In fact, it seems to get worse as the pressures of the real world throws itself into the baggage you're already carrying. What typically happens is that you learn to prioritize your mental and emotional baggage against your situation, gain experience in dealing with your thoughts and feelings, and (hopefully) have your self-identity established just enough at least to give structure and growth potential into who you want to be... or get familiar enough with the landscape of "self" as it has arranged to be comfortable with who you are. You learn to appreciate life and what you have.

Or you learn to evade it... either to engross yourself in a project or career you can build, or through more narcissistic and self-destructive methods of venting pressure - such as drug or alcohol abuse, spousal abuse, child abuse.

And it's not a black and white issue - but a complex tapestry of gray shadings and individual temperments and experiences. I don't mean to impress a dichotomy in the way people turn out, but simply to exemplify my point by presenting two well known opposing stereotypes/archetypes. We're not this or that, we're both to varying degrees depending on factors too numerous to list here.

We're a confused mess. We don't even know yet what makes us who we are, or why we are. We don't consciously see purposeful reasons our minds operate the way they do, and how those effects are shaped by our sapience and society. As an extension of, and beyond that, a great many people never really discover who they are... never get to know themselves.

So no... to the best of my experience, it doesn't get better... at least up to this point my life. You just learn to deal with it better and use that to prioritize the issues you are faced with in life. You might not have to worry as much about hormones adding gas to the fire as you mature physically, as those will calm down, but you're exchanging one pressure for another - responsibility, to yourself and others. The responsibility to others can be a real killer that make teenage hormones look... well... childish. The angst a teen endures in puberty is nothing compared to the mental plight of a man (or woman, but especially men in our culture) who has a family who depends upon him for their livelihood and futures - yet is facing a layoff with little prospect of finding a new means of sustainability. Throw in continual challenges to the core of who you are built upon the inclusion of those others in your life - such as spousal infidelity or challenges to authority/rejection of affection from one's children.

Still, you learn to deal with it. To learn to distinguish the difference between what you can change, cannot change, and what you can circumvent or turn around into something advantageous. You learn to adapt and roll with the punches. You learn. You grow. You mature.

And then you become the embarrassment to your teenage children who think you just don't get it, or don't understand, or were never like you at one point. That won't be true of course; You'll merely have prioritized irrelevant shit out your life due to the needs of responsibility and adaptation to a new social environment they have yet to experience or appreciate. That likely won't stop you from feebly trying to "connect" with their world and further embarrassing them.

[Firocket1690]

Run.
Fap.
Play tetris.
Catch pokemon.
Get out, do something.
Meet a member of the opposite sex.

Channel your frustration into something. Find a hobby. Do something. Takes your mind off things.

[Volcompat321]

You are lucky, and an awesome dood.

Fix'd that for ya Rider.

[Leviathan]

Life becomes better once you become more free to do what you want.

For some the teenage years will be their best years, and for others their adult years will be their best.

[Cherri420]

I agree with moving forward and never giving up on ur dreams. Don't settle with just being no one special. Sure right now u may not be doing much, but( I disagree with sinue v2 when I say) it does get better. Right now u r being limited as a teenager but as u grow older u will hav more responsiblity, it just takes time.

And don't fret if ur still not doing anything after ur teenage years cuz some ppl take longer to get to do things in their life. But I guarantee u that u will find urself,and u will be special one day! U just hav to be patient and having a hobby really does help u do that! For exp. If u like to draw, then draw. Just do watever it is that u like to do and u'll be fine.

Maybe u will still get depressed and everything, but u hav to keep moving forward becuz thats all there is; u can't go back to the past ( and if u did I doubt u would change anything cuz history repeats itself). Like I said before, a hobby will help u pass the time. Most ppl don't figuer out who they r or who they want to be till later in life, after their teens.

Im 21 now and I still havn't done anything yet but I know wat I want to do now;which, basicly I figuerd it out in my late teens, (I can't help it if Im limited!)

[Sinue_v2]

*Focus Snip* Note that I'm not trying to argue with you, just discuss. I just passed my 30-marker and this shit's been on my mind a bit anyhow - so it might be very tl:dr. Even if it seems like I single you out, I'm just spring-boarding ideas... though not with the intention to prove a point at the debasement of yours. The spectrum of the human condition which we live in is wide enough for both positions to stand unobstructed.



I agree with moving forward and never giving up on ur dreams.

Moving forward, yes. Never giving up on your dreams? Sounds kinda corny. The inability to achieve one's dreams is often a source of great misery - and it may not even be the individual's fault. Serendipity plays a larger role than most think, though it's not an excuse to slack on the effort you must extend to achieve those dreams... because that will doom you to naught but the will of randomness. Work for them, but don't expect to achieve them. Even in the founding doctrine's of this nation's government it merely promises the right to the pursuit of happiness - but makes not province for it's reliable attainment.

Dreams rely on plans, on a structured direction to make the changes you want to see in the world happen and enable your dreams to come true. Sometimes, this happens, but the world's interactions are a highly complex and dynamic system. Reach for opportunities as they present themselves, but stay flexible and able to roll with the punches, and learn when and what you can compromise - and what you can't.

Dreams, for the broad spectrum of humanity, never come true in their initial envisioned state. How many dreams have been shattered across America, and the world, with the revelations that something totally out of their hands whipped through and turned their world upside down. Be it a hurricane, or family health issues, the arrival of a baby, or a bad loan their city/bank/mortgage company took a risk on utterly failing and bankrupting them.

We live in a tempest, and you can't control it. You can only interact with it. The best insurance for happiness I can give is not to follow your dreams, but to put expertise and reputation into your passions. Turn your hobbies into careers if you can. It really is true, as I've seen it, that one who makes a living at what they love, will never work a day in their life. Just keep your options open is all.


Don't settle with just being no one special.

It's a strange dichotomy we live with. Individuals are priceless in their humanity, individuality, and potential. Yet there's so many of us with so many overlapping skills and independent converging ideas that we're not much more than an insignificance... especially in the grand scheme of things. To which side you lean, be it precious, worthless, or both at once, says a lot about one's outlook in general I think.

I will say he certainly shouldn't stop building his personality and identity into something unique and free thinking. The only time a human ceases to be considered precious and becomes worthless is when they abandon their own reason and will for the sake of social, religious, employment, etc concerns. Even then they're not worthless, but I value the presence of a single artist and visionary over the crowding of a thousand parrots. Diversity breeds conflict and contention, but it's also vital to the sustainability of a system and as insurance or prevention of catastrophic failure. We need a society of individuals, not of numbers and stereotypes.

As a teen, there's a great pressure to fit in and be accepted... by certain cliques... or just anyone. Even if you haven't figured yourself all out yet, you've figured out enough to get by day to day - and do not deviate from who you are to cow to social norms or expected behavior. Fuck em if they don't like you. This above all things, to thine own self be true. Even if it's dork. Or an outcast, or a weirdo.


but( I disagree with sinue v2 when I say) it does get better.

Well, as said, it's not a simple issue. Your mileage may vary, because we are two different people and react to stimuli differently. I'm apparently far more cynical. I've always been drawn to the curmudgeon. Those cantankerous old bastards who are often grouchy and ill-spirited. Many of which have a supreme love for humanity, and their criticism comes not from detestation - but disappointment. Almost kind of a noble character, IMO. Though I'm often a bit more open with my optimism than most cynics. Perhaps because I understand that just because the world isn't how I think it should be, doesn't mean it's wrong or unfulfilled. It simply is, and that if you want to make a difference - don't try to change the system. Exemplify those values in your own life... be the change you want to see in the world, as Gandhi said.

Or maybe that grouchiness will just come around after I've grown up a bit got a few more decades under my belt and a yard in the city to tell kids to GTFO of.


And don't fret if ur still not doing anything after ur teenage years cuz some ppl take longer to get to do things in their life.

If you've kept moving forward, this wouldn't be an issue. Even if you're not building a career, build a character and personality. Gain experience, Gain exposure, gain knowledge. It might seem rather aimless and purposeless... but a penny of effort spent on bettering your self, examining your currently held views, and opening yourself up to other views - even if just in consideration but not adoption - is worth a pound of work put into menial labor or dead-end pursuits. And it's not like the world couldn't use more good people and independent thinkers regardless. Those people are all our colleges. They're our fellow parishioners. Our neighbors. Our fellow drivers. Our fellow voters.

I'm very tempted to start spouting quotes from Paine, Jefferson, Hypatia, Sagan, Freud, etc... but, keep in mind, even if your position in life is low at any certain point, it's the people like whom I listed above who change the world for the better. You probably won't, in the macroscopic view, but advancement and betterment starts from those who discuss these issues. Not often from those who embrace conformity, ignorance, or apathy.


and u will be special one day!

As to imply that he's nothing special now? :p

I never liked the "special" term, as it reminds me by overuse of the melee-mouthed "no losers, just second place winners" attitude which.. what.. started after Dr. Spock introduced his nurture-heavy spare the rod teachings. Not to say that what he argues doesn't have merit in the proper context - but that entire attitude is based on (I think) the faulty assumption that human minds are blank slates. We're all equal, we're all the same. We're not rejects, we're just differently special.

It's denial. All humans (and I believe, perhaps also all alien or synthetic life) capable of self recognition and self determination are equal in regards to the rights in which they are granted by their authoritative constructs, and beyond - by the very virtue of sapience itself guarantees equal right. But equal rights =/= equal ability. Our bodies are different, our minds are different, and our dispositions are different. They all have skills in the real world which suit them in certain instances, however likely or unlikely (the sloth evolved from much faster and more agile ancestors) - and are therefore desirable. But to remove the framework of "winners" and "losers" ultimately only serves to spread mediocrity and weakness on a larger group level. That's part of a system which shaped life on this Earth for 4.5 billion years. Hurt feelings aren't going to stop it. Yet, unchecked against brutality, the "winner" and "loser" dichotomy can be damaging to an individual and their varying potentials - potentials which I think is well established that we need in order to promote diversity and overall strength of society and humanity.


Just do watever it is that u like to do and u'll be fine.

I don't think you're promoting hedonism, but I would amend by saying that - do what it takes to get by in the world. Anything extra left over at the end of the day (figuratively speaking) you can spend on hobbies and pursuits. Explore the hobby more fully (if you draw, expand into paint or graphics arts) and see how you like the more specialized roles. Perhaps one of those is in demand and can net you a job doing what you enjoy.


u can't go back to the past ( and if u did I doubt u would change anything cuz history repeats itself).

Yet the past shapes our future. Today is not but yesterday's tomorrow. What you did then will have repercussions today, and in the future. Begin or major... who knows. I wouldn't ignore the past, and keep your mistakes and errors fresh in your mind. Don't dwell on them, but use them as experience to guide your future decisions and interactions. Attempt restitution where you feel it's needed. This is the only way to break (in part, we are still human though) the aforementioned cycle of repetition in history. Those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.


Most ppl don't figuer out who they r or who they want to be till later in life, after their teens.

I think most people never really figure it out at all. Your personality and consciousness is a construct of multiple interacting brain religions which do not rely on your will to respond to stimulus in a certain way. Your brain constantly makes forward-thinking causal pattern connections/simulations on the subconscious level, which can lead to false presuppositions, biases, or perceptions. Optical illusions are an excellent example of consciousness and identity operating as a result of separate specialized brain structures working in tandem as the driver of who you are - independent of the actual image of yourself you've constructed. A poster above mentioned that you are your own best critic. You're also your most biased critic, and can lead to distorted perceptions of your actions and personality when comparing your self analysis to other people's criticism.

This is why self-psychology doesn't work. It's exceedingly difficult, if not impossible, to get an accurate image of yourself - independent of yourself - and free of the vested interest you have in the preservation of the mental model of yourself.

[SabZero]

Read my link. Pick a dream and follow it until you achieve it. Then pick another. ;)

[Darkly]

honestly?

If youve got a group of good friends you can share life with, your set, if not find some.

Fall in love and have a good Lol - things dont have to be so complicated ya kno :)

[CupOfCoffee]

I would recommend you the movie Harold & Maude for a crash course in appreciating life and realizing that you're not yet old enough to see it in focus anyway.

[BlaizeYES]

eh, for the most part, i think that i'm just as insane as i was when i was a teenager. maybe a little more focus now

[Volcompat321]

Wow, BlaizeYES this has to be the smallest post you've written in forever lol.

[PwNeR]

Just be glad you aren't the only one going through it right now. I'm going through it too.

[BlaizeYES]

Wow, BlaizeYES this has to be the smallest post you've written in forever lol.


haha yes i know. ive been all over the place lately, its hard to get into my usual long-posting antics these days.




but this "special" and "unique" thing... all teenagers think they are different. but to say you're "original" when there are almost 7 billion people in the world... that i cant believe. i figure theres someone just like me out there, just like theres someone just like everyone else, aside from a few personality quirks. if everyone from each generation deviated a little more from what is "normal" for the past 400 years, every day would be an interesting experience. learning about different people, different perspectives on things, etc... but thats really not the case. you realize a good majority of people out there want the exact same things and what comes out of their mouths really isnt all that different from the next person, aside a few different hobbies, stories, or background. which is too bad.



like right now, everything i just said... completely unoriginal. what a shame