Retarded PC stories

[Evegodenraven]

ok peoples, i am is bored!
and i'm not typing like this because i don't know english, it's because i'm bored.

i know english pretty well. BUT THATS NOT THE ISSUE HERE!!! lol...

anyways i made this post because i want to know the more retarded moment you or someone you know or someone you don't know(random persons convo you heard) talking about PCs!!!

i just want to hear your story(must be real) about how stupid people are with computer...... i really want to get a good laugh so i hope someone has a funny one like i do o-o... i'll post mines later on cause i want to hear other peoples stories first =)

[Sinue_v2]

Well, I was just helping my sister set up her internet/wireless connection the other day because she was tired of fucking with it and just couldn't figure out how to do it. So I spent about two hours on the phone trying to troubleshoot the problem before realizing that she couldn't tell the difference between a modem and a router, and that she hadn't gotten a modem from her ISP because she thought she already had one.

She had just plugged the phone cord into the router's Ethernet port and used tape to keep it from falling out.

[yoshiblue]

Back when FEZ(Fantasy Earth Zero) was alive, People would tell you to disable nagle and show you how. So I did it and rebooted my computer only it would boot past the manufacturer stuff(as I call it). So I panicked and worryed about how I did something dumb. Went on my will and Mich and a few other had a good chuckle. "How do you screw up so thing so easy" one said. Turns out I had a unbootable disk in the disk tray. I had a few chuckles myself after calming down a bit.

[Ezodagrom]

In some certain forums, 2 users that are against a PC version of a game said this:
- The XBox 360 is more powerful than a PC because when the 360 is turned on green stuff pops up, and green means energy, which means power.
- The XBox 360 and the PC are the same thing, because they're both made by Microsoft.

Yeah... ._____.

[RenzokukenZ]

One day, out of the blue, my laptop wouldn't boot. It would show a screen similar to DOS and have a few strings of code, but nothing else. It had me irritated, and after hours of frustration, I gave up, and deemed my comp unusable. I placed it inside my closet and let out a defeated sigh.

3 months later, I began cleaning out the closet and encountered by useless laptop, and as I picked it up to move it out of the way, it rattled. A few minutes of curiosity later, I discovered the cause of the comp's failure; the HD was disconnected.

My facepalm was immense.

[joefro]

I have a good one.

Last semester I was sitting at my computer in the graphics lab working on a project. One of my classmates asked me and the girl next to me for help with something in Photoshop. We walked over to his computer and we were helping with his problem. Suddenly we told him to cut an object and paste it in a different layer. He clicked on the object and then proceeded to click on edit>cut, then, edit>paste. The girl and I were laughing for a good minute about his lack of not knowing the keyboard shortcuts for cut and paste.This was also a 400 level class, not a beginning class in any way.

[Randomness]

I have a good one.

Last semester I was sitting at my computer in the graphics lab working on a project. One of my classmates asked me and the girl next to me for help with something in Photoshop. We walked over to his computer and we were helping with his problem. Suddenly we told him to cut an object and paste it in a different layer. He clicked on the object and then proceeded to click on edit>cut, then, edit>paste. The girl and I were laughing for a good minute about his lack of not knowing the keyboard shortcuts for cut and paste.This was also a 400 level class, not a beginning class in any way.

Wait... there's someone who doesn't know the shortcuts for undo, cut, copy, and paste? (Okay, I actually know people like this. But they all grew up with typewriters)

[Palle]

/makes popcorn and waits for Kodia

[Retehi]

Long ago I bought a new mouse, when I got home I was dead tired because I didn't sleep all day at all. Was attempting to use the mouse and was growing angry that it didn't work, started cursing Logitech's name, and wanted to smash it into a million pieces thinking I bought a dud.

Turns out I forgot to plug it in. =/

[beatrixkiddo]

Excuse me, I am mentally handicapped and I find this thread title highly offensive.

On topic: Every time I try to show my mother something online and I see her click the "Go" button on her browser instead of hitting enter, I want to break something.

[NoiseHERO]

Back when FEZ(Fantasy Earth Zero) was alive, People would tell you to disable nagle and show you how. So I did it and rebooted my computer only it would boot past the manufacturer stuff(as I call it). So I panicked and worryed about how I did something dumb. Went on my will and Mich and a few other had a good chuckle. "How do you screw up so thing so easy" one said. Turns out I had a unbootable disk in the disk tray. I had a few chuckles myself after calming down a bit.

LO-I don't remember this.

Everything on that forum is a blur. Probably because I avoid wasting braincells when I troll.

[Evegodenraven]

I was at a apple store once with my cousin cause he needed to change his iphone 3 to iphone 4. while i was there i was just haning out at the front desk waiting for the guy to come back. anyways while i was waiting a customer came in and ran up to the desk without waiting in line and got someone to help him. Apparently his computer wasn't turning on anymore and he wanted to return it because his friends warned him about apple computers failing on people sometimes.

I facepalmed myself and thought that he probably downloaded a bunch of adult things and got some kind of virus that crashed his computer...

The Employee came back and i saw this kind of stupid look on his face and i thought that he had some how turned the computer on and found the adult videos on it.

it turns out the guy never had charged his computer so it could work. he didn't even know what the wire was for LOL!!!!

[Zyrusticae]

This doesn't qualify as "retarded" (or "stupid", as the more politically correct term goes), but it's still something nifty.

I started getting random BSODs. On Windows 7, mind you. Those are nearly always hardware failures.

I spent a bunch of time randomly disconnecting things until I eventually figured out it was the memory's fault (you'd think it'd be the first thing I check, but nooooo).

But, see, I really, really like my memory. 6GBs is a good number, y'know? So I looked stuff up and... well, eventually I decided to try baking them in the oven, because apparently that re-solders stuff inside the chips and such and well... I don't really understand the details of it, I just did it. At 375 degrees Fahrenheit, for roughly 10 minutes, using aluminum foil to elevate it and make sure the metal bits didn't do any impromptu bonding, I baked the RAM chips.

It worked.

I'm still using those same RAM chips this very moment. From now on, when things just randomly start dying on me, guess what I'm gonna do?

(Note: I do not recommend this for components with temperature-sensitive plastic parts. Remove the plastic parts before putting them in the oven. This especially goes for video cards. If it's a monitor that's acting up, you should probably get some professional help. Those things are a pain to deconstruct and reconstruct.)

[Ezodagrom]

A couple of "oops" moments.

When I was in high school, in a computer class the teacher asked a classmate to replace the memory of a PC. After replacing it, the classmate tried to turn on the PC but it wouldn't work. What was the problem? He put the memory between the slots.

2 years ago I worked as a trainee in a computer store, after mounting a PC I turned it on to see if it was working, and it started making a loud beeping. One of the workers said that I forgot to connect the graphics card power cable, but if he didn't said that, it probably would have taken me a while to figure out what was the problem. :P

[Keilyn]

I remember dealing with Apple and Microsoft Fanatics...talking about Security and how to protect their computers from not just "the internet" but protecting the machine. They created these large scale stories....and I finally said.

"You know what guys...I love you for being enthusiasts! It makes my job so much easier....after all, its so nice to simply get to back of your computer and use the Bios Reset button on some enthusiast boards that are out of the case....Say bye bye to your BIOS password without me even having to open the case.

...I can then just pop in a USB Flash Drive with a special OS I've cooked up in my spare time....but of course any small OS would do. Im sure you know how to push F12 and pick your boot device...

Yeah, ain't it great!? to be a pseudo-enthusiast? ^_^"

In less than a minute my OS is already booted and I can see all in their hard drive with unrestricted access. A nice little tool lets me load network config files present in another OS to access other computers in a network...specially from those "auto-login" fanatics.

So much for "Security" ^_^

[NoiseHERO]

I remember dealing with Apple and Microsoft Fanatics...talking about Security and how to protect their computers from not just "the internet" but protecting the machine. They created these large scale stories....and I finally said.

"You know what guys...I love you for being enthusiasts! It makes my job so much easier....after all, its so nice to simply get to back of your computer and use the Bios Reset button on some enthusiast boards that are out of the case....Say bye bye to your BIOS password without me even having to open the case.

...I can then just pop in a USB Flash Drive with a special OS I've cooked up in my spare time....but of course any small OS would do. Im sure you know how to push F12 and pick your boot device...

Yeah, ain't it great!? to be a pseudo-enthusiast? ^_^"

In less than a minute my OS is already booted and I can see all in their hard drive with unrestricted access. A nice little tool lets me load network config files present in another OS to access other computers in a network...specially from those "auto-login" fanatics.

So much for "Security" ^_^

Security? For the machine?

Take MMA classes.

[Randomness]

I remember dealing with Apple and Microsoft Fanatics...talking about Security and how to protect their computers from not just "the internet" but protecting the machine. They created these large scale stories....and I finally said.

"You know what guys...I love you for being enthusiasts! It makes my job so much easier....after all, its so nice to simply get to back of your computer and use the Bios Reset button on some enthusiast boards that are out of the case....Say bye bye to your BIOS password without me even having to open the case.

...I can then just pop in a USB Flash Drive with a special OS I've cooked up in my spare time....but of course any small OS would do. Im sure you know how to push F12 and pick your boot device...

Yeah, ain't it great!? to be a pseudo-enthusiast? ^_^"

In less than a minute my OS is already booted and I can see all in their hard drive with unrestricted access. A nice little tool lets me load network config files present in another OS to access other computers in a network...specially from those "auto-login" fanatics.

So much for "Security" ^_^

Computer security 101: Physical access to a machine=compromised machine.

[Outrider]

One of my college roommates had a part-time job through the school in which he was essentially a member of the dorm's tech support.

First week of school, he gets called up to a freshman girl's dorm because her computer wouldn't connect to the internet. He gets to her dorm and she's kind of freaking out because neither her nor her boyfriend were able to get it to connect.

Our dorms didn't have built-in wireless, so you needed an ethernet cable to hook up your computers. Every student received a note pointing this out in their orientation packet. Sure enough, the girl didn't have her laptop plugged in to anything. She had purchased the cable, but then just tossed it in her desk drawer and didn't think anything of it.

My roommate asked her why, if she knew she needed it to connect to the internet, she hadn't tried taking it out of the box and plugging it in.

Her response?

"Well I didn't know I had to actually do anything with it."

[Link5]

Years ago I was in a restaurant, lets say 2006, when I overheard a conversation going on at a bigger party close by. The table was comprised of mostly middle aged to older people. It went something along the lines of this:

Larry: "Hey Dave, so you really won't use a computer at all then?"

*Everyone at the table stares at Dave with anticipation*

Dave: "No no Larry, I use the computer. I just won't go online. It's these god danged hackers, I'm telling you. I heard about this one guy.. the hackers didn't just steal his software through the computer... They actually stole his hardware too!"

Everyone at the table: *GASP* "OOOOH..." "AAAAHHHH..." "Oh my..." (I think I may have even heard one woman shriek).

At that point I tried to stifle myself from laughing. For the rest of the evening I struggled to try and stop imagining video cards and motherboards being sucked out of a computer through the ethernet cord.