Online friends, do you take them seriously?

[Titan]

Have you ever known someone in game so well that you considered them to be a true friend or someone that you could count on IRL?

[Ghoul]

Yeah. Most of my friends that I can count on are internet friends, actually. :)

[BIG OLAF]

Have you ever known someone in game so well that you considered them to be a true friend or someone that you could count on IRL?

Yes, many people. I've known some of my online friends for almost six years now. I definitely consider them best friends, even though I've never met them face-to-face. I say, if you're not going to take any kind of friend seriously, then they aren't your "friend." You should take every friend just as serious as any other.

[Cleptomaniac]

Yes, many people. I've known some of my online friends for almost six years now. I definitely consider them best friends, even though I've never met them face-to-face. I say, if you're not going to take any kind of friend seriously, then they aren't your "friend." You should take every friend just as serious as any other.

Until you give them your address and they stab you in the middle of the night...

[Reksanden]

Until you give them your address and they stab you in the middle of the night...

And with that attitude it'd be hard to make friends that wouldn't.

[BIG OLAF]

Until you give them your address and they stab you in the middle of the night...

There are plenty of people I trust enough to give my address to, if they asked. I've mailed things, like Christmas cards and whatnot, back and forth with online friends before. It's fun, I think.

[NoiseHERO]

I take my e-friends as seriously as my real friends, like anyone else the longer you've known someone the more you can trust em and all that mushy anime moral of the story Saturday morning cartoon stuff.

But if I only vaguely know you from one place and only talked to you a few times, then you'd probably just become an acquaintance/ghost image on whatever "buddylist."

Maybe I just wouldn't expect e-friends to stick around as much as easier as in person friends. Usually when you meet someone in person it's probably in a place you go to a lot. It's the same online obviously, but it'd be more like a larger open community where everyones comfortable to the point where you can meet dozens of people everyday, you can befriend a whole classroom but you're not always gonna keep up with 500 people in a lobby.

So just like in person you're only picking a few to be in your usual circle of friends(that could turn into a gang or clique or whatever) but you've still met probably 10X as many people in that online community, compared to the 10-40 people you've met in that "real life" place/hangout you go to a lot. So you have to be ones of those 400 guys that get forgotten. Then so is every other person you met that didn't become an actual friend.

That sounds confusing.

[FOkyasuta]

oooooo... This is a tough one. I'd have to say yeah. Sure some may take you for granted at first, but you shoulda not spoiled em at first. But what say do i have in this? Anyways...

Recap. I do treat my online friends like RL friends. Sure you might get laughed at if ya don't got alot of RL that dont come from the actual RL but who cares? I dont. Unless well, your my friend and you treat my problem like &*#@ or not to mention, total bull. And i mean Problem. No s's here. Just problem.

[Keilyn]

Its easy for me to meet people, talk to them and get to know them a bit. It is hard for me to make anyone into a long term friend. I am not THAT easy as a person.

I don't have many people I consider to be "Friends" as I hate "levels of friendship." To me if a person becomes a friend, I do all possible within the relationship to remain friends. I hurt easily even with my weird personality.

I met my girlfriend online. First as a super argumentative friend trying to convince me to have more "faith" in civilians and people, then as a best friend who I could count on to make me laugh. Then, as a girlfriend over a long period of time and soon to be my wife. So a lot of shit happens because I think back on what would have happened if I did not accidentally clicked on a club in a site to join, and that very first post and email reply.

Those who are good friends to me, I would do whatever it takes to keep them as friends. I don't care if its online or offline. I don't judge people online as sets of items, collections of numbers and text on a screen.

The hardest thing for me online has always been the helplessness which occurs at times when I want to help someone through a rough time but I have to convince them to help themselves because we are hundreds to thousands of miles away from each other. If I were physically there, I could be more active, but it sucks in always having to convince others to take charge of themselves. All the same talking goes very far if done right and I spend my time helping others if they are worth it.

Anyone who knows me, knows its either love/hate with me. You will either like me enough for getting caught up in all the strange shit that happens around me and the fact I am accepting, or you will hate me so much that you would love to stuff me in a rocket and hurl me towards the sun.

Knowing me, I probably would write up a thank you note....

"Dear whoever it may be

Thank you so very much! I appreciate the stench and smell of this boring old 30+ year old rocket picked apart from a mine. Oh yeah the cracked hull and leaking radiation feels nice on the body! Oh my! Its getting hotter among these stars and me without my SPF 1 billion lotion. I thought it was bad at first, but all these loons beside me make me wish to become acquainted with our dear old Sol!

Thanks and love,

Don't worry!, You won't be alone when I'm gone! I'll be right there haunting your ass for all eternity! Peace be with ya ******! ^_^ "

Boom!

Of course its only who I am.

[Bomber The Cosmonaut]

I take my online friends as seriously as I take my actual friends, and I've met up with one or 2. Heck, I was in an online relationship for a long time, and eventually took it to the next level. It's working out so far. I still keep in touch with my online friends, as well as my friends back home. Its even more interesting because some friends from both groups have become friends.

[Ryno]

yes, on PSU 360 and JP servers, including on original PSO Xbox, i still talk to them here and there and on facebook. . :)
now that some barely play phantasy star games. or not anymore. they are just living life. :D

[bloodflowers]

Yes, definitely - there's a subset of people I've met on PSU and other games who I consider proper friends. There's one guy from Midnight Club 2 in I still play email chess with. Most of my remaining RL friends (I'm at an age where we've all moved away for various careers) I met online, on a telnet based chat system. My XBL friends are the people I watch films with most - because they like the same types of films I do.

[Seth Astra]

I'm going to not break with what everone else has said and say yes. I have several good friends online, and I used to have only one good friend IRL. Now he's moved 9 hours away and we don't talk much. So really my internet friends are the only friends I got. If nothing else: I know I'd be a lot more depressed without 'em.

[Mantiskilla]

I can say that I don't actually. To me they are just friends who share some common interests with you nothing more; nothing less. That doesn't mean I don't care about said persons its just my friends outside the online realm to me are the ones that are irreplaceable so its hard to put online friends in the same category. Just my opinion of course

[blace]

In the communities I have joined and the people I have met, I can say yes and no.

Yes, because we have a common interest that ties us together. No, because they usually use that same facade that came with being a part of the community. The one thing that made them want to know me was the personality I had in place at the time, which usually ends up with the question "are you a girl?" Those types of things I stopped doing as I got older, which also got them to ease of on the overly happy/excited personality type.

The friends I know in real life, tend to share more than just one point of interest and actually have news and other such to talk about. With e-friends, they're usually stuck on one thing and it stays as such, making conversation with them being dull.

Only a few have been different from the ones I've met, but those few are rather scarce lately.

[Chukie sue]

In my opinion, if people you know only from online can't be counted as friends, then friendship is defined only by physical contact which is kinda silly... I used to play PSO with this one chick every day invariably for several months... We were kinda the beez kneez, then she left for college. That really sucked - like, a lot. I had recently lost all my friends because I moved so this kinda emphasized that loneliness I was experiencing. I've never told anyone because I don't think they'd take it seriously.

Point is, I definitely take them seriously, and I never mock those people who hang out in chat rooms all day with their anime role playing.

[Crazyleo]

I do take my online friends seriously. Weather or not I've actually met them face to face or not is irrelevant to my feelings towards the people whom I've made friends with over the years of online gaming.

For example: I've played City of Heroes for about 3 years at an internet cafe before the doors were closed for good in '10. In that time, I've joined a SG called The Justice Guard. I've have developed some deep relationships with various people in the SG that I still maintain contact to this day.

It's a shame that other people I've met online in other games have faded from view that I would love to get a hold of again; just to catch up. (I've been gaming online since '02)

[Sayara]

I'd need to really get in touch with them. Outside of the exact thing we've friended for. Like, i communicate with alot of folks about PS stuff back in the day; but I'm only really friends with those I talked to about other stuff online. Through Skype or Livechat or whatever the case.

I've even meet one of my online friends a few times. (Stab free almost. If you catch my drift)

[Akaimizu]

There are certain online friends that I've gotten to know more than just for gaming, so yeah, those I take more seriously than others.

[Ghost Inside]

Well yes, I don't take them any less seriously than people I hang out with in person.
Some I've known for 10ish years. It's pretty much the same to me, some people you get to know quite closely, other just sort of stay in some awkward spot where you just sort of have one interest together and not a whole lot else to talk about, and other are just sort of acquaintances.
But real-life is exactly the same.

A few things really suck about only being online friends though, like the helplessness at times, like Keilyn said. Sucks that you can't just be there when something happens and I hate it, hate it, hate it...! x_x
Also I think... Some things aren't communicated as well, like...
Well... It's just more difficult to read people in general. A face says so much, your tone of voice and all that. So misunderstandings happen more. When chatting I mean, I mostly just chat.

But still, they're my friends no matter what, and they're important to me.
I don't know what I would've done if I hadn't had friends online, because I never had any friends in person before. I probably wouldn't be here today.

[Neith]

I have a few online friends I've talked to for years (people I met mainly in PSO GC/BB and PSU). I don't really make a distinction between online and otherwise when it comes to friends.

I've met one of them a couple of times, and a few of them are playing other games with me. I think after knowing them for a few years (and more importantly, putting up with me for that long) it'd be pretty harsh to treat them any different to friends I can see more readily.

Also, random gift bombing on Steam is always fun :wacko:

[Ce'Nedra]

As sad it is i got no friends irl so i see online friends as my friends yes. I have yet to meet up with any of them though aside from one girl from a FPS game I was in a clan with. There are some people who I consider more friends then others, and some of them I would love to meet up with sometime in my life. Sadly almost none of them live in my country :(

[Norco]

I have given some people I have met online my number and they have given me theirs. This way we can easily text back and forward, works great for me since I got free texting to the entire world xD I would say that is enough to count as serious.

[Shirai]

I have a few friends that I consider them as true friends. I wouldn't actually give them my cellphone number since I'm on my computer most of the time. But if I could every imagine meeting IRL, it'd be just a group of great friends. Since we're all really close in a way.

[Ghost Inside]

By the way, I came to think of something.

I think this was two years ago, a friend of mine hadn't logged onto IM for a couple of months, possibly longer - which was very unlike her!
She'd sometimes disappear for 3-4 weeks at a time, which was regular but never for that long! She didn't really have an e-mail account she could log into, I knew that: So I'd sent her a physical letter. She lives in the US so I know it takes maybe a week, maybe a little more from here by snailmail.

So from a little before I posted the letter to about two weeks later I was all torn up with worry wondering if she was dead or something. And this work-ish (not really work-work) related lady was a bit grump with me because I didn't do my tasks and things on time and so I told her about it and her face just said she didn't understand a thing what I just said. Just a look of complete incomprehension! And she asked me something about it, sounding as if I was a bit unhinged to think of my friend as a real friend, and just sort of shrugged it off and went back to talking about the things I had to do. I was quite visibly upset, too!

*sighs* It so frustrating when it happens! >.<
Does this happen to others much as well?

Oh, and I found out she was fine about 2 weeks after I sent the letter.

[FOkyasuta]

*sighs* It so frustrating when it happens! >.<
Does this happen to others much as well?

Me? Yeah to a certain extent. Depends on how well i know them TBH.

[Ryno]

there was even this one girl online i met 6 years ago. met her on xanga. then. moved to myspace. then to facebook. we talked on the for for like 6-8 hours. she was a model. she shared the same interest. too. she only lived 5 hours away from me. she's Vietnamese but a few years later she turn me down because it was too complicated because it was long distance and i couldn't afford to visit her. :(

[Ghost Inside]

Me? Yeah to a certain extent. Depends on how well i know them TBH.
Um... I meant people not taking you seriously when you tell them you have this great friend halfway around the world that you've never met in person.

[ForceOfBrokenGlass]

I suppose not. I wasn't much for making friends in real life. I'm probably less people-friendly online. My real life friends turned out to be fairly unreliable anyway, so I suppose if trust is the issue, I have yet to meet anybody I trust that much on either side of the information superhighway.

[Crysteon]

I have a few friends that I met in online games (PSU included) and that I still keep in touch with them (I met one of my best friends in an online game and we have kept in touch for like 6 years since we both quit that game). I have used stuff like MSN or Skype to keep in touch with them also...it's always nice to ask how they've been and talk about random stuff.

There are times it's hard for me to trust online friendships, but once I find enough incentives to go a bit farther I take that friendship more seriously....but, yeah, if I dont trust people enough I just keep using them for whatever purpose I feel like accomplishing (as harsh as that shit sounds, but it's the truth).

[Keilyn]

Empathy is the easiest way to gain me as a friend, but also the easiest way to lose me as one. It also governs my actions as much as any logic and reasoning skills I have. I refuse to be friends with people who can justify a positive reason for treating others like garbage outside the fact that they can.

Ah Crys! You speak of trust! Welcome to the Internet and Anonymous tendencies of ignoring responsibility and liability. A shared behavior among many in these crazy games. Of course it happens in the real world, but in the real world the reaction is far more dangerous.

[Orange_Coconut]

I know the internet has its flaws, but it also has many perks that can be gained depending on the situation. I usually do not make actual friends with people over the internet unless we both act as though we would had we been buddies in real life.

That being said, I also make it a point to meet the people I truly call friends -- which is actually what I just did from Jan 5 - Jan 11. I got back home maybe a couple of hours ago. Our chemistry was amazing as we chilled and played games, watched horror movies, went on walks and jogs, had friendly debates and conversation, etc. It was like any of the friends I'd made where I live when I was growing up. No regrets here, and I wouldn't do it with just anyone, but even then I can see it being difficult for some people.

[-Crokar-]

ive met plenty of people online that i would consider freinds and most of them i could easily see my self hanging out with irl problem is with internet freindships is you cant just go and hang out and go real places with them. ive never met any of the freinds i have made online and i know i probably never will but i can still say that they are some of my best freinds. i have sent things to them through the mail i talk to them all the time. they know me better than some of my real life freinds. some people may think down the whole internet freindships, but to me they are just as real and important as any freind irl or not

[Tetsaru]

Of course I take my online friends seriously, I have a lot of them! Heck, one guy from my FF14 linkshell even sent me a couple of hard drives when I was trying to fix my dying computer recently.

A lot of my friends are people I've met here on PSOW or PSU, FF14, PSN, or other games I play or various forums I visit. And nowadays, a lot of my "irl" friends I grew up with in school have moved elsewhere, so I talk to them online all the time through stuff like Yahoo IM and Teamspeak.

I know a few female friends, but I haven't been lucky enough to reach girlfriend status with anyone yet like some people here have. Seems like most girls I talk to are either already taken, aren't looking for a relationship, or just aren't into guys... oh well. :(

[Crysteon]

Ah Crys! You speak of trust! Welcome to the Internet and Anonymous tendencies of ignoring responsibility and liability. A shared behavior among many in these crazy games. Of course it happens in the real world, but in the real world the reaction is far more dangerous.

Tendencies go much farther than lacking responsibility or liability. There are people who tend to reach into lowly behaviors attempting against their own dignity as human beings.

This may sound prideful from my side, but I'm not the kind of person who falls into the first sucker who says he wants to be my friend and who demands loyalty or even empathy...I simply test them if they are worth the hassle to the extent of either being a bitch to them or trying to risk a bit to take that relationship to the next level.

I admit that saying "trust" on that other post sounds a bit vague, but it's a lot more than trust itself that I'm looking for when I try to befriend someone. Perhaps I'm one of those few guys who tries to be coherent with his action in both environments. I have that horrible tendency of being transparent and honest with people when I like or dislike things about them. I can openly say "I dont fucking need you", to someone who thinks he's smarter or pretends to act "holier than thou" around me, without any regrets. Something I hate the most about certain people in both worlds is the fact they like to play who's the most mythomaniac dude of history....Dude, I dont want to befriend a nerd cosplaying Chuck Norris with the self-esteem of a potato!

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[FOkyasuta]

Tendencies go much farther than lacking responsibility or liability. There are people who tend to reach into lowly behaviors attempting against their own dignity as human beings.

This may sound prideful from my side, but I'm not the kind of person who falls into the first sucker who says he wants to be my friend and who demands loyalty or even empathy...I simply test them if they are worth the hassle to the extent of either being a bitch to them or trying to risk a bit to take that relationship to the next level.

I admit that saying "trust" on that other post sounds a bit vague, but it's a lot more than trust itself that I'm looking for when I try to befriend someone. Perhaps I'm one of those few guys who tries to be coherent with his action in both environments. I have that horrible tendency of being transparent and honest with people when I like or dislike things about them. I can openly say "I dont fucking need you", to someone who thinks he's smarter or pretends to act "holier than thou" around me, without any regrets. Something I hate the most about certain people in both worlds is the fact they like to play who's the most mythomaniac dude of history....Dude, I dont want to befriend a nerd cosplaying Chuck Norris with the self-esteem of a potato!

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^I liek dis guy. Taking a friendship step by step... Its sorta what i do too.

[NegaTsukasa]

to OP:
In an online game? no. SO... no I do not take anyone online seriously right now. because I simply have and had no one too take seriously, or talked enough to say we are at that level of friendship in an online game. now, online in general... maybe 1 or 2.

[Blitzkommando]

If a person has earned the title of friend on my part, I can assure that individual is a friend of mine regardless of the medium of our communications and interactions. That said, the number is quite small and far outnumbered by acquaintences or 'game buddies' who just happen to have a shared interest in a particular game.

[Noblewine]

Yes, I enjoy being around people I can trust as well as play a game together. While playing PSU online I did meet alot of nice peope and I've kept in contact with a few after PSU for the ps2/pc hub went offline. A few have been asking to meet me in real life but I want to wait awhile before I do since I've only known them for two or three years since Universe was still around.

[Mkan]

I take my online friends very seriously. Two years ago I joined a forum that I still regularly visit today, and by god the amazing people that have come into my life because of that. I visit their IRC channel on a daily basis and sometimes even have Skype calls on weekends. I don't really understand why I would need to differentiate my "online friends" from my regular friends.

As far as video games go I don't see why you couldn't meet good friends on them, although I haven't really met a lot of people by doing that. I guess I've somewhat befriended a few people I've met on Steam and play some games with from time to time but nothing major there.

tl;dr yes

[Reksanden]

It might've been mentioned before (too lazy to check back) but there have been cases of people from MMOs and such (like FFXI) getting married IRL and having met in-game.

My friends in TGZ are no less important to me as my best friend IRL.