PEOPLE F--K THEM ALL

[Meyfei]

I fucking HATE people.

Lead you on like some kinda fucking animal. Treat you like shit. Pretend like they are your friends. Ignore you when you want to do shit with them. Ask for money and help when they know very well how much they hate you.

And then you get asswipes who always blame shit on you. Just today i was freaked the fuck out AT because i said i didnt want a drink someone got me. TO GOD DAMN FUCKING BAD YOU STUPID TWITFACED FUCKER.

I smashed my monitors, I AM SO FUCKING IRRITATED.

Anyone else ever have to deal with life issues? But also have this one issue where a friend, you thought was a friend, just hates your fucking innards more than they hate a murderer who murdered their best friend- metaphorically speaking? WHY THE FUCK DO THEY KEEP YOU AROUND?

Bitch and whine bitch and whine. Everything is life is always MY.GOD.DAMN.FUCKING.FAULT.
I SWEAR

NO FUCKING MORE

THIS SHIT HAS GOT TO STOP. REAL LIFE AND INTERNET I HAVE NO ESCAPE AND GOD DAMN IT I WANT MY FUCKING FREEDOM.

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FUCK!

If anyone has comments or questions throw me a PM.

[Nitro Vordex]

That's a really trippy wall of smilies.

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[Meyfei]

its my army, the protection in which i do not have

[Meyfei]

Like seriously. Is it so wrong a person wants just a little respect? I try and I try and i fucking try!!

Like isn't something someone is the master of JUST because someone says what to do like holyshit!

Work, Life, Friendships, desires, Stress. The only one I have and am seemingly only allowed to have is Desires that are unmet and Stress.

How the fuck do you people cope with constant stress? Pressure? those damned unbeatable odds where no matter what YOU WANT YOU NEVER GET IT, BECAUSE SOMEONE HIGHER UP THAN YOU IN THE CHAIN OF LIFE SAYS"FUCK YOU I SAID SO"?

I never ask for much in life
I just want a job so i can enjoy the luxury of chilling one friday night playing some COD, maybe minecraft with some friends while cracking jokes about rainbow sheeps and shit.

Start a family and be the best father ever, while supporting a healthy lifestyle, great home, and a good job.

But no. I cant even get a fucking job flipping burgers or pouring coffee. but ever person i see and meet is like "oh im gonna be working down the road at this place" AND ITS A FUCKING GIRL EVERY GOD DAMN FUCKING TIME.

[Crazyleo]

And here I thought I had it bad with my anxiety issues.

[Meyfei]

Tell me about it, this is the only way i can blow off steam without taking a shit in anyones face specificly and making matters worse. I've had stress before and many friends were targetted, or happened to be in the area and took shit personal.

Quite the fuck up aren't I? No wonder the few people i look up to hate me so much and have little to no trust for me

[Cyron Tanryoku]

Tell me about it, this is the only way i can blow off steam without taking a shit in anyones face specificly and making matters worse. I've had stress before and many friends were targetted, or happened to be in the area and took shit personal.

yeah dont do that again

[Meyfei]

Yeah I don't plan to. Not that it could happen again. Not many really talk to me. Hmmm I wonder why.

[gigawuts]

Well it helps to not let shit get to you

That's hard for some - sounds like you might be one of that group. Try to remember other people have bad days and many won't think of the consequences of their actions, and there's no rulebook anyone is following. Everyone is pretty much just winging it. Grownups never had it figured out, they just figured out how to hide that they didn't figure it out. Some of them figured out enough to get by, but there was always more they didn't quite get yet.

And that's life. It'll beat you into the ground until you really, fully grasp that. Stop letting shit get to you, take it in stride, and keep going.

[Meyfei]

One thing after the next man. It just don't ease up. Humans are brittle beings, and we can only take so much. Why do you think people suicide? Because every bit of pressure without any means to relax, cooldown and refresh gets to them.
I understand what your saying but, it's just easier said then done. We all have different ammounts of stress we can take.

Despite all I've said in the above posts, those aren't my only issues, I got some shit going on that I wish would stop but what can i do? I cant stop people from spreading rumors.

Like do you know what its like to go online for your peace and quiet, but are paranoid that every person you meet thinks ill of you? Just because of what others are saying.

[gigawuts]

One thing after the next man. It just don't ease up. Humans are brittle beings, and we can only take so much. Why do you think people suicide? Because every bit of pressure without any means to relax, cooldown and refresh gets to them.
I understand what your saying but, it's just easier said then done. We all have different ammounts of stress we can take.

Despite all I've said in the above posts, those aren't my only issues, I got some shit going on that I wish would stop but what can i do? I cant stop people from spreading rumors.

Like do you know what its like to go online for your peace and quiet, but are paranoid that every person you meet thinks ill of you? Just because of what others are saying.

Oh, I know plenty about life issues. Why do you think I'm saying what I'm saying? Hard learned lessons. Everyone has their own breaking point where they either let it all go, or hold on and let it all tear them apart. I opted for the former. There's serenity in chaos, if you can find it.

Edit: A phrase you might find helpful: Let things happen around you; not to you. If someone is spreading rumors, then that's just the kind of person they are. If it wasn't rumors it would be something else. Do you put your trust into people who do that sort of thing? I don't. I might have to be around them, but I don't have to let them bother me.

[CelestialBlade]

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. I've found very few statements more true than that.

[Meyfei]

Numbers are my most favorite of all things. Silly isn't it. I like them so.
They make things understandable in such simple ways.

Indeed I should stop letting things pressure me as much. I must ask, when someone is in your face, and you have no-wheres to run and cool down, How can one relax and take a step back before running forward into a chaotic hell that can be avoided?

[gigawuts]

Numbers are my most favorite of all things. Silly isn't it. I like them so.
They make things understandable in such simple ways.

Indeed I should stop letting things pressure me as much. I must ask, when someone is in your face, and you have no-wheres to run and cool down, How can one relax and take a step back before running forward into a chaotic hell that can be avoided?

Just remember that they're an external force. They can only get in if you let them in. It might not be easy at first, but when they're in your face if you remember that they only have the power to bother you that you give them you can take all that power away in an instant.

It might not be easy at first, if that's not how you normally do things. It might take a bit of practice. This sort of thing doesn't come naturally to everybody. It's a decision you have to make and follow through with. It's a different mode of thinking. Then, just like anything else, when you're used to it it can be second nature.

[mctastee]

Meyfei, you should calm down before you kill someone.

[Meyfei]

I'm far passed that phase, I'd sooner burn my home city to the grown and sell the remains to the highest bidder lol!


UPDATE:
Wooo hooo foundout my province (Or as it would be called in the US, State) is Soooo damn cheap on their healthcare, that instead of overing my 130$ 60 capsules of ADHD meds that i requested from and from his recommendation. That they'd rather spend 16.13, make me pay 4$, and offer me the same useless shit that i took when i was fucking 8 years old.

Im 350pounds, 23 years old, and they think that is gonna help me?

Side effects of this crap:
May decrease your appetite- No issue i don't eat a lot, just poorly
Increased anxiety- NO THANKS
Increased nervousness- NO THANKS
Difficulty falling or staying asleep- Seriously?
May cause sleep disturbances, or insomnia- Governments know best!
May Increase heart rate- 350pounds and an increased heart rate? Oh boy their trying to kill me now

New fact in life- No fucking wonder we need doctors in this city- they cant do their damn job when every prescription they make is being rejected, therefore making their entire job absolutely inert. Why have doctors when they cant do their fucking job because of your own provinces cheapass ways.

Governments know better than doctors it seems :D

[Meyfei]

This thread is like my home. Its mere title is the one thought I will never cease to embrace.

How i hate people so <3

[Mystil]

Hate is about the only emotion that is certain to keep people away from you, even if you are not showing it. It radiates from you like an aura, people will feel it.

Unfortunately, and contradicting to the above I said, it attracts bad people, as good people don't wont your negative vibes rubbing off on them.

Pardon me for assuming, but you may hate people, but you also yearn for them. Hate is like depression - it feeds off you, in this case, hate feeds off of your desires and extreme belief that you are being denied of them.

I have a lot of issues with people, in ways that does not make any sense to me, as I'm one of the most outgoing people you may ever meet, and I like to think I'm pretty reliable. Although I recognize things about me that will have a warding effect on others.

That said, look within yourself. You probably need to make personal changes to attract good people.

Edit: And so not to put you on the spot or make you out to be part of the problem - yes the world is full of people that you can only feel hate for.

Know the signs of a turn coat and cut them off before they do emotional damage.
Don't hate anyone by default.

[Meyfei]

I love meeting people helping out and talking.

But the moment someone betrays my trust. Fuck them. I can't even give my trust back to anyone who thinks they can throw words at me as if they have meaning and act like nothings happened.

I've done my own wrongs, but I've had my own reasons, even if others don't see it I do.

But that being said. I try to be nice even when people can be dicks to me. But being human, i have my own limits. Turns out people like talking shit about me behind my back.

Perhaps i try being to friendly and don't say No enough, I guess one of my biggest fears- is being alone. That maybe the fear that those who i do enjoy having around, will eventually betray me and stab me in the back

I just don't want to be near people right now. They all irritate me, and cause my blood pressure to raise.

[Mystil]

If people talk about you behind your back, then they talk about you behind your back. Why should you care what someone else thinks of you? Especially if they aren't going to be honest with you.

As for being alone, hah. I'm the all time career leader in loneliness. But it's easy for me to deal with it now when I realized, in order to enjoy life, you have to enjoy yourself. If you make *needing* others in your life as a requirement to *feel* happy/respected, you'll run into disappointment.

If someone who is serious comes along and wants to be part your life, welcome them with warm arms.

[Meyfei]

never a break. NEVER A FUCKING BREAK.