FanFic: Love of youth: painful memories.

[polishedweasel]

this is the first chapter to the story that I'm planing to write. I wrote it this morning in my English class. Well here it goes, tell me what you think:

The bodies of her dead comrades lay scattered across the battlefield. "How could one person cause so much destruction?" Leilani thought as she used her last Trimate health pack.

Among the bodies was that of Mr. Tyrell's missing daughter. Leilani turned away in anger and then looked at the lifeless body again. "She did all of this..." She looked around again. She did not feel sorrow, for she was still too much in shock at the fact that this one person killed her whole every single person, except for her. Then she gazed upon Rico's body once more. Anger swelled so deep that she could no longer contain herself. "How?....Why would anyone do such a thing?" There was no response. Only a look of peace, a look of liberation and of happiness. "But why would she be so happy?"

A chill went through Leilani's body, as if she had just come in contact with the dead. Thoughts and images flashed through her head. Images of pain and destruction. They were not anything that Leilani had ever witnessed in her life. Pain and suffering like she had never witnessed. Then it stopped...and there was Rico, waving goodbye. Leilani immediately reflected on her childhood.

She remembered school. Rico and her were best friends, and nearly inseperable. They had a bond that was almost pyschic, as though they were twins separated at birth. Life was happy and nothing could ever go wrong as long as they were together. But one day, Rico decided to join the military, and soon she was gone. Leilani heard that she had gone on Pioneer 1, but she wasn't sure.

Leilani's mind let go of the hold that it had over her. She was standing in the middle of a bloody battlefield where many innocent people had lost their lives. "You were always so impulsive! Why did you leave?! Why didn't you stay home?! WHY!?" Leilani fell to the floor in tears. She dropped her gun and cried like she had never done in her life.

"Ugh......"

This startled Leilani. It came from one of the bodies. She ran to where she heard the noise. The person was a little girl, a FOnewear, not any older than fifteen years old. She immediately opened a Dimate health pack and used it on the little girl.

The girl laid there in Leilani's arms with a look of gratitude in her eyes. Leilani knew that she was new and not at all ready for this battle that she was thrown into. Most likely a new recruit and only there was for support. The girl summoned enough strength to smile and give a faint, "Thank you."

"What is your name girl?"

"Rikku." she then gave Leilani a tired look. Leilani nodded in response, Rikku then passed out from the fatigue. She lay there in Leilani's arms.

"Poor girl." Leilani then threw the girl up onto her shoulder and set up a telepipe. She was then struck with a cold chill. She felt a presence and turned around. There was nothing there. Leilani gave a tired sigh, grabbed her gun,and took the little girl to the hospital.


EDIT: I fixed a few typos and made a few misspelled words. READ ME!!!!!!






<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: polishedweasel on 2003-05-17 07:19 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: polishedweasel on 2003-05-19 13:30 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: polishedweasel on 2003-05-19 13:32 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: polishedweasel on 2003-11-10 05:34 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: polishedweasel on 2003-11-11 12:57 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: polishedweasel on 2003-11-26 01:18 ]</font>

[Neverwinter]

Amazingly cool. Any1 else going to be in it?

[Shattered_weasel]

i think that Rikku chick is cool, don't even know who she is but she is tight...

[polishedweasel]

I haven't thought that far yet. Another friend from my neighborhood definitly. <-----I spelled that wrong by the way

I'm not even sure how this is going. I do have an idea though..but I'm not going to reveal too much. Have fun..I'll try to write chapter 2 in the next day or so.. I'm really glad that you guys like it though.

Oh and Rikku's the other weasel. He's a bud of mine.

[BOC]

one word springs 2 mind: Excellent.

that about sums it about http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif.

can't wait 2 read the next part!!!!!!!!

[polishedweasel]

Chapter 2:

Pain surged through Leilani's spine as the needle was being pushed and pulled back and forth through her flesh. She refused to use any form of anastethic. She just ground her teeth together as the nurse continued her work. As the last stitch was complete the pain ended.

Soon after the nurse gathered her equipment together and left the room. Leilani lay there looking at the bandages that covered the handy stitchwork that she had just gone through. "I hate hospitals." She thought out loud. The nurse came back in almost immediately after that comment was made with a perculiar smirk on her face.

"I heard that. Anyway, I'm Carolann and I'll be looking after you during your stay."

"I don't need any help." Leilani said flatly.

"That's fine. If you need me, I'll be in the room with that little girl you saved."

Leilani's attitude changed, "Oh, how is she?"

"She's alive. She broke two of her ribs, fractured part of her right arm, and about seventeen random stitches." Leilani lay silent. "But, she's still alive. You saved her life. You know that? She'd be gone without you. Thank you Leilani."

"She shouldn't have been out there to begin with. Sometimes...nevermind"

"I hate the military. They are the only people that would send a child to their death."

"I know, I work for them."

"Why?"

"I really don't think that there's to much to work for anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...alot of people died in that fight. The military wasn't that large and the officers won't surface for a while because they know that they made a mistake. But the biggest loss we had was with the Pioneer 1 incident."

"True..." Leilani lost contact with reality again. Her mind took her to Central Dome during its time of prosperity. These were the images of of somebody else again. It was a regular day. There were families doing things that every happy family does. Everyone was having a good time in their new home.

Suddenly the ground shook, people ran in terror. The earth became dark from a huge mass that overcast the tiny civilization. Leilani looked up at the figure. It was that thing that she had fought against the day before. She lost so many soldiers to that thing. She had friends that died in that fight.

"Why am I seeng this? Who's showing me this?" As she thought she felt the most tremendous force that she'd ever felt. A huge explosion ripped through everyone that was there. Bodies were thrown around. Central Dome was completely destroyed. Men, women, and children were all heartlessly killed. But Leilani stood there, untouched. Fire swirled in all directions, it seemed to just bow before her and then continue on it's destructive path. It never touched her and from the inferno, Rico emerged.

"You're not safe Leilani."

"Why are you showing me this?"

"You did not destroy it."

"What do you mean?"

"You merely just liberated my body from its hold. It's weak now, but it soon will have enough strength to continue. It needs another host. And I fear that you are it's new target."

"I don't understand..."

"I know, you won't until it happens."

"But wha...." Leilani was then violently shot back into reality. Carolann was standing over her with a confused look in her eyes.

"Are you OK? Your eyes were open. You looked scared"

"I'm fine."

"I know." Carolann went along with her lie. She knew that she was too full of pride to admit fear. "I'm gonna check on Rikku. Call if you need anything"



Edit: WOWSERS, there was a doozie of a typo there. Silly me!


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: polishedweasel on 2003-05-19 19:07 ]</font>

[BOC]

again, quality writing dude.

[M_BlackHawk]

looking good. Keep it going.

later

M_BlackHawk

[Shattered_weasel]

Great job guy. Keep it up lets see some more of that action tomoro

[BerserkerKutu]

Oh I just read both chapters and I gotta say, well done, I'll be looking forward to reading more.

[polishedweasel]

Thanks guys. I took me two class periods to do that one. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif Tomorrow is my exam day, so I should have a bit more time to write than usual. There will be a good amount of characters to be put into this story. I'm making this a looooong one.

[Kupi]

Quite interesting. The worst thing you can do in a story is fail to catch the interest of the reader; you have quite successfully avoided this pitfall and I fully intend to return when the third chapter goes up. ^_^

[Yoda86]

Bravo! Those were two very excellent chapters. I will have to disagree with Kupi's comment about failure to catch the reader's attention. When I read the first chapter I was confused and wanted to be explained to a little more in the second. I think I know what is going on and what will happen.

Overall I think you have a great start buddy! Keep up the good work, I'll be looking forward to seeing some more chapters in the future.

[Neverwinter]

Very cool Leilani. Look at Burning Darkness Episode 1 (icludes 2) cause your in it!

[prune_juice]

Good story keep going

[prune_juice]

Good story keep going

[polishedweasel]

Chapter 3:

"Mom?!" Rikku sprang upp from her sleep. She was in a hostpital bed. Flowers with a "Get Well Soon!" card were sitting on the stand next to her. It was the basic hospital, flourescent lighting, white floors, and the quiet hustle and bustle outside her door. The room was gently lit, just enough for Rikku to see herself in a mirror across from her bed.

"Oh my God! What happened to me?" She said as she examined all the bruises that covered her face. Her fractures were completely healed*****Author's note- Science has been greatly improved in this time. Fractures can be fixed within a matter of hours. ALthough for some reason skin cannot heal like the bones do.*****This is the first time she's been awake since Leilani saved her and that was two days ago.

When she thought of Leilani she smiled. She was grateful to the person that saved her life, but she didn't even know who she was. Carolann suddenly came in.

"Hey! You're awake! How are you?" Carolann asked.

"Am I in the hospital?" Rikku asked.

"Yes. But tell me how you feel. Does anything hurt?" Carolann insisted on doing her job.

"My head hurts a little bit. Other than that I feel fine."

"Well, taht's wonderful! Seems to me like you're going to make a full recovery!" They both smiled.

"Can I see the lady that saved me?"

Carolann was a bit surprised, "Oh, sure..." She wasn't sure if Leilani even wanted anything to do with this girl. "I'll be right back." Then she left.

Rikku continued to look into the mirror. Her hair remained in the pigtails that she'd put them into before she was called into battle. The lighting of the hospital made her blonde hair shine. Then she took notice of all the bandages that were all over her body. She decided that it would benefit her to see what was under one of the bandages.

She took that bandage that covered her left hand off. Under it was the most disturbing thing that she'd ever seen. A line of stitches went from the base of her ring finger to her wrist. She gagged and quickly wrapped the bandages over her hand again. "Ewwww! I hope it goes away. I'm glad I'm not a lefty!" She chuckled at her own joke. Rikku was startled by the sudden knock on her door. It door swung open and in walked Leilani.

She was almost six feet tall and had long blonde hair to about her mid back. She was also very athletic looking and had a light tan. She looked at Rikku and she noticed that Leilani had green eyes. Rikku also took notice that Leilani was very well developed and got a tiny bit jealous. "Too bad I don't look like that." She thought to herself.

"I'm glad to see that you're OK Rikku. You're a very lucky girl. We're the only people that made it out of there alive." Leilani continued, "They shouldn't have made us go down there. Expecially not you. What were they thinking? Too many people died."

Leilani turned away to conceal the tear that was running down her left cheek. "Leilani, I know what you're doing. You don't have to hide it from me. I'm upset too."

Leilani turned around, she was extremely surprised. "How do you know my name?"

Remember I'm a Newman. I'm genetically engineered to have high mental capabilities. I have telepathy...it's part of the basic package." Rikku smiled at her own joke.

"I didn't think about it. Can you turn it off?

"Yes. I can control it. Do you think I want to be at a dinner party and be able to hear what everyone is thinking about?! You've got to be kidding." Rikku said sarcastically.

"Well, I'd guess not. Is it accurate?" Leilani asked.

"Yes." Rikku answered

"OK. Then tell me what I'm thinking." Leilani challenged.

"Um...ok!" Rikku put her finger tips over her temples and closed her eyes to let Leilani know that she was reading her mind. "I like to frequent the caves of Uranus... Leilani!!!" Rikku playfully scolded her.

"You're pretty good." Leilani answer with a smile on her face. "So, do all newmen have telepathy?"

"No, just the ones that train to become a FOrce."

"Ok good." Leilani didn't want her brainwaves being broadcast all over Pioneer 2.

"Well, actually most newmen don't even know how to use their telepathy. I got lucky I guess."

"That's unfortunate." Leilani replied.

There was a silence. Rikku knew that Leilani was uncomfortable with the fact that she could read her thoughts. The buzzing from the artificial lighting semed to only add to the stress in the room. Rikku regreted ever saying anything to Leilani about telepathy. She apologized.

"I'm sorry Leilani. I won't do that anymore. OK?"

"Please. I don't need anyone else in there."

"What?" Rikku was more confused than ever.

"Nothing, nevermind." Leilani stood to over Rikku. "And don't you dare go into my head!"

The look in Leilani's eyes was intense. Rikku was terrified. She felt bad for Leilani, but she didn't know why. The look in her eyes suddenly softened and she was sincere again. "Sorry I wasn't myself there."

"Sure." Rikku answered.

"Well, I imagine that you need some rest, and I'm a bit tired myself. I'll see ya in the morning Rikku."

"Bye-Bye Leilani."

Leilani walked out of the room and back to hers thinking. "I've got to keep my emotions under control. She's a telepath, she'll find them out sooner ot later anyway. And she's been trained to keep what she finds out secret anyway." Leilani was convinced that Rikku was going to keep to herself about what she saw.

She lay in her bed and thought about the fight, but it was too much for her to handle. She was able to hold in the tears though. "Leilani, you've got to get to sleep." She rolled over and was unconsious in less than five minutes. She was happy.

Rikku lay awake in bed with one thing on her mind. "Why is Leilani in so much pain on the inside? She's so wonderful and she saved me. I'm going to help her too!" The thought of returning the favor made Rikku smile. "See ya in the morning Leilani!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hope you enjoyed this one! I have an idea of what's going to happen in the next chapter already. later people



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: polishedweasel on 2003-05-21 12:12 ]</font>

[BOC]

QuailTy with a capital T!!!!!!

ur pretty good at this fic thing http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

can't wait 4 the next part!!!

PEACE!!!

[Shattered_weasel]

Great job. Liked the whole thing. hope for some action next chapter and where is Hop Hop

[Shadow82]

*claps* Great story so far. i should try this myself.

[polishedweasel]

bump...I'm gonna get back onto this one..maybe

[BOC]

i think u should.

really i do!

in fact if u don't get back on it i'll send my hoard of blood thirsty fruit flies round to....to....

EAT ALL UR FRUIT!!!

seriously though, i wanna find out what happen next!

hope u get back 2 writing!

PEACE!!!

[polishedweasel]

Bump....I start writing tonight....so Get on it people!! Read this mofo!! It's good!

[Jaks]

Yes it is.[/no sarcasm]

[polishedweasel]

BUMP!!! I need more hits!! Bump bump bump .bmp

[polishedweasel]

Damn...is it...can it be....no way It's *dramatic pause*

Chapter four: Dun dun duuuuuuun....

...Conflict


"Let me GO!!!" Scremed Rikku. "I don't need any testing!" She was being drug from her hospital bed to the hallway. Leilani heard the commotion and rushed to see what it was about.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?" Lei was standing by the doorway, leaning on the wall, arms crossed, with an angry look on her face. "Put the girl down."

The closest soldier turned "I'm sorry ma'am, but we need this girl." Rikku looked at Leilani with a look of horror. "Now if you don't mind, we've got important matters to attend to."

Rikku struggled to get back into the safe grasp of Leilani's arms. "Leilani Please!" But before she could make it to her, a fist came crashing into the back of her head. Rikku screamed.

"Shut up!" The second soldier said shadowing Rikku with his immense body. Carolann sat watching as the whole ordeal began to unfold. When Rikku lay there, she rushed to her aid, but also was struck down by the same man. This angered Leilani.

With both of the women on the ground, the situation was becoming very hostile, Leilani peered into the eyes of the attacker....then into her subconscious thoughts once again.

A familiar voice echoed through Leilani's mind "Don't let them get her. We....we need her safe. Keep her...safe." Visions of experiments, mental experiments, prodding, and pain. People's thoughts being heard clearly in your head, it's uncontrollable, just constant barrages of psychic energy and the endless amount of thoughts pouring into your head. None of which are your own...none of which are pleasant, none of which are happy. Endless sadness, and hate...

"Why do you keep doing this to me? The anguish was getting too much to handle...then anger. Furious uncontrolled rage growing from within her..it was getting too much to bare. Then, she was flung back into the hospital hallway. Where her only aquaintances were lying on the floor, struck down by the hand of a cowardly man, taking orders from an ignorant boss. In a room where the lights flickered constantly from the lack of energy left on the ship.

The soldiers were looking at her. She had an endless river of rage flowing inside of her, but she didn't know why. It was strengthening her. She just stood there looking at the little girl on the floor. "You wanna get smacked too?" A smirk began to grow at the soldiers lips.

Leilani went in for the attack, straight for a crippling blow. Before the soldier knew that he was hit, he was on the floor screaming at the top of his lungs, holding a bleeding leg with a concave knee cap in his hands. Leilani stood over the soldier with a psychotic look on her face, "Don't ever, fuck with the kid...Wha?"

Right as she finished her sentence, the other soldier grabbed her arms and pressed them on her back, then quickly latched on a pair of photon cuffs. "You're under arrest, I'm sure there's no reason to even tell you your rights..." He grinned at his own cunning wit.

Leilani looked at Carolann and Rikku, then back at the soldier with a look of hate on her face. "What the hell are you lookin at, bitch?" He then punched Leilani on her right cheek. There wasn't much that she could do to defend herself, so she commenced to taking the beating that the soldier had for her. Sometime from when the beating had started, the other soldier passed out or gone into shock, Leilani didn't know the difference. All she knew, is that it was starting to hurt, and the fury that was inside of her was growing dramatically.

The soldier was puzzled at the fact that Lei was still on her feet, this angered him, a grown man that couldn't knock a woman down, even after he had her restrained? Appaling! The thought of his weakness drove him to hit her again. She didn't budge. He was beyond the point of anger, as he swung one last time, full force, and exhausted he found something very very painful. There was well placed knee shoved into his groin.

Now, the former aggressor was kneeling at the feet of a very angry woman. Leilani reared back just about as far as she could, and sent her right foot speeding toward the left eye of her downed opponent. Her foot landed with maximum velocity into the left cheekbone and forehead of the soldier. She felt the bone crushing under the force of her blow and the weak whimper that the man had let out when the foot knocked him lifeless.

So then he fell, twitching, with blood pouring from the hole Lei put into his temple. She was still in the cuffs. She saw the control mechanism on the man's belt and gave it a good kick. The restaints dissappeared. "Leilani!" Carolann yelled. "Get the girl and leave! They'll be back, and in force. When they found out what you did, you'll lose your rank and they'll execute you!"

Lei wiped the blood from her lip, threw Rikku on her shoulder, grabbed her rifle, strapped it to her back, and walked to the teleporter. "We'll meet each other again. Please Leilani, keep Rikku safe." She nodded in response and took the teleporter to the Ragolian Wilderness.-------------------------------------------------


Yeah, that's what I came up with tonight... I hope you like it though!

[Hikosaka]

Do not bump for the sake of bumping. Contribute content, or let the thread sit where it is. I'm more lenient toward bumping months old fic threads, but only if it's a new chapter doing the bumping.

As for the fic, it's pretty good, and I hope it continues. But if it falls back again, add a new chapter, not a gratuitous bump.

[polishedweasel]

On 2003-11-11 13:04, Hikosaka wrote:
Do not bump for the sake of bumping. Contribute content, or let the thread sit where it is. I'm more lenient toward bumping months old fic threads, but only if it's a new chapter doing the bumping.

As for the fic, it's pretty good, and I hope it continues. But if it falls back again, add a new chapter, not a gratuitous bump.



lol got it...and thanks.

[MQuantum]

Yes, this is very good, and I finnally got around to reading it!

When can I expect the next chapter?

[Shattered_weasel]

if you kill off rikku....no more support biotch for you

[SpikeOtacon]

Wonderful work! I could actually visualize the characters, Scenery, and I could even smell the rotting flesh on the Battlefield from the first chapter. Great use of Sensory details, and all around good plot. I'd never have thought about Red Ring Rico's past as a plot gimmick!
Love to see more from this.

[Nai_Calus]

You told me to read and comment, so I am reading and commenting. Good shit, man. Why didn't you tell me you could write? >P

*insert Ian-Kun X Seal Of Approval here*

I need to make one of those.

Anyways. pwnage.

[Skett]

I also got around to reading this story and its pretty good....Keep it up! Um, I got to go now *runs off somewhere*


The post has been rated M for Mental

[KaFKa]

congrats, polished. you successfully got people to bump your thread for you. dont you feel special?

oh, and BTW, i really didn't understand where your plot was going, you need to work on that

[polishedweasel]

On 2003-11-26 17:50, KaFKa wrote:
congrats, polished. you successfully got people to bump your thread for you. dont you feel special?

oh, and BTW, i really didn't understand where your plot was going, you need to work on that



Dude, I don't either.... ???