Raven's Shadow: End of the past

[RavenTW]

This is another attempt of mine to make a fanfic, and it is actually based off some work I did in character making, one of my many "successful video games and/or animes", which I turned into a PSO fic. I still haven't streamlined it, but the major jist is there. And, if/when commenting, please be critical. No "This is developing well" or "This sucks". I want to see my flaws so I can make better fics, and the only real way to do that is with making more of them. So please give me all of your comments and criticizim. Don't worry, I won't hate you for saying it sucks.

And please don't be angry if I use Maverick too many times. HOW many times has a Maverick appeared in a fic anyway? I just like the name so much, I put it on yet another character (with guns, again). I'm also starting to like Raven a little too much. Oh well. Without further ado...

Raven's Shadow
End of the Past

Chapter 1: Life inturrupted
So what do you think? A perfect bunch, if I say so myself!

I don't know, where were you able to get four people for this project?

Anywhere I wanted to, of course! Those two were willing test subjects, that girl there was a convicted fellon for using illegal technology, and that poor man was simply a ruffian that had too many a cold one!

Words. Voices. Nothing as noticeable as the pain he was feeling. The photon energy was doing it's work, keeping him sedated so he was easier to use. The last thing he knew, he had just beaten up two thugs when he felt a sharp pain and fell unconcious.

So?

I don't know, Docter. What exactly to you plan to do with them?

One of the soldiers on Gal De Val well victim to an attack by a strange entity with photon readings that went off the chart! He was infected with that photon and has been undergoing a subtle change as we were tested him. i plan to graft some of that photon energy and implant it into their genetic code!

More voices, more words, more pain, more drowsiness. It's as if everything was a blur, and could only get blurrier. But just because he was physically weakened didn't mean he couldn't think. He heard of the plan made, and instatly realized that he must be one of the test recipients. If he could have, his eyes would have shrunk.

Interesting, but Flowen is one of our best men, and he is succumbing to the radiation. What good will four fresh subjects do?

Number 1, they're just that- fresh. Flowen was wounded AND infected at the same time, and these people will only be infected. Number 2, I'm implanting it straight into their DNA, noth across their body. The DNA is where real change is made. If I can perfect this, I can use that photonic entity as a stepping stone to our own evolution!

Evolution. Heh. He was never one to beleive what scientists said, even if it WAS true. Evolution was more of many small mutations occuring over time, not some mad scientist in his lab breathing life into something.

These subjects were, unfortunately, my scetchwork and rough draft. But as you can see, the process has become more streamline, until, with his pretty young woman over here, there is almosty no sign of abnormality, just some small fins in her arms made out of the same photon energy as the entity.

Must not have been their tanks. The voices were more distant, and with a cough, the man sounded his apallment.

So, with these last four subjects, we will be ready to initiate the final phase! Do I have your support?

I don't know. This smells like another Beta772 to me. I will think about it. Good night, Docter.

Good night, Sir.

Silence, a rubbing of metal was heard. Possibly a door.

Oh, and Osto...

Yes?

If you start without my support, I'll report you.

I'm not a drastic risk-taker. I'm a patient man. And I assure you, they will be contained if they even begin to think they can escape.

Very well. Good night.

The rubbing again. distant footfalls on metal. other guy must have left.

Ha! All I need is 24 hours, and you will become my new best friends!



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RavenTW on 2003-06-06 06:42 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RavenTW on 2003-06-06 06:43 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RavenTW on 2003-06-06 06:45 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RavenTW on 2003-06-06 08:36 ]</font>

[RavenTW]

Sirens blared as a silhouette of a man with long hair flew past. The guards were a little quick this time, probably due to all the drills they had since the first escape. The man jumped off of a rooftop and headed down into the main lab.

A minute, just one to look at his old "new" life, to see his predecessors, to pray for their souls as he checked the readings once again. He still couldn't beleive that the Doctor had kept them alive. No matter, they would not have to suffer anymore.

Pulling out a Handgun, he hacked into the computer and turned off the Photon shieling, letting loose water everywhere. Strange organs started working again, pumping for oxygen. the Doctor's fialed experiments, lacking many functional organ systems essential for life, started to move wildly. He put the Handgun to the "head" of the most deformed creature, and pulled the trigger. He did to each one until only the girl remained.

"Please," she said in a half-deformed voice, gasping for air with her now-working lungs as the strange parts on her arms started to glow. "Please..."

"The suffering ends," the man said in a strict but gentle tone, and pulled the trigger.

Sounds were heard outside. More guards. He calculated that, despite the last incident, the guards were probably still equipped with stun guns and stuff to keep him contained. He drew his powerful sword and readied for them.

A large thud was heard and the door flew open. He looked at the smoking barrel of an experimental war machine. Obviously he had calculated wrong. The man dove behind the holding tanks, shooting his Handgun at any unwary guard he could while he moved outside.

He was now in the office area, quickly running downstairs as he reached for the exit. He then suddenly saw a squad of guards coming up. No where up, no where down, he looked down the hall to see a window.

What's a fellow to do? he thought, racing through the hall as the two teams converged and laid down a hail of fire. One shot managed to catch his arm, and the fugitive hid into an office room.

"We have you surrounded! Open the door and put your hands behind your head!" The man thought for a minute. His eyes started to go dark, the sky-blue pupils changing to a shade of black and taking on a vortex-like form. Tapping into the strange energy he gained after his experiment, he slowly opend the door a small way.

Then, the window of the office fell on the guards as the white-haired man lept through, quickly turned to the right, and jumped through the window to meet the city air. He hit the ground with a thud, and looked up to see the guards still trying to shoot him.

"Silly guys. I'd hate to have your job right about now," He chuckled as his eye coloring returned to normall and he quickly dodged the bullet fire. He was about to leave the complex when he heard someone yell.

"Crow!"

He turned back. There she was, innocent as ever, with an anger in her face he never thought she had. He was never good at interpreting women before, and he sucked just as much now.

"Why are you leaving? Why can't we just stay here and help the Doctor?" she asked him, tears welling in her eyes. He walked over to her slowly, and placed his hand on her cheek.

"I can't stay here alone, Crow."

"I'm sorry Dove. But with the others gone, I figured it was time I made my exit."

"So you've been free of him all along?"

He frowned. "I will never be enslaved. I work for myself, and no one else. I just wish you could do the same." She lowered her head, unable to do anything. He looked at her and sighed. "that's the Doctor talking," he said, and left.

"I hope you never find the happiness you had this past year, Crow."

He turned around with an expression Crow had never shown. His entire personality had changed in a matter of seconds.

"My name is Raven."
-----------------------------------------------------

"Dr. Osto, you're over!"

The doctor looked at him confidently. "Now how am I over?"

"It's bad enough to let two subjects escape, but no. You let them all escape! You assured me they would be locked up if they even tried to leave, and now, they're all gone!"

"I just didn't give them enough sedative," he said, turning on a small device, a little green gem with four spokes spinning around slowly. It started to grab the other doctor's attention as he spoke.

"I'm going to make sure you never do these kinds of twisted experiments again, Starting with me pulling your funding. Your not going to...do this kind of...uh...research...uh, anymore, unless you clean up...clean up...your act..."

Osto smiled. The hypnotizing machine was working. The doctor started to relax and grow drowsy.

"Have a seat, doctor," Osto suggested, and the man immediatly pulled one over and sat down, still focusing on the device.

"Now, when I turn this off, you will be in a deep sleep," Osto reached and turned off the device. Instantly the doctor's eyes closed.

"Now, when you wake up, you will not only continue support of my research, you will give full-fledged support to it. You will no longer worry about anything that happens in this place afterwards."

The doctor repeated everything Osto had said, only in first person. The doctor then got another idea.

A month after you pledge full support from your division, you will return here. When I say 'It's time for my next project', you will fall asleep and re-enter this state, understand?"

"Yes..."the doctor said drearily.

"Good, now when I count to three, you will wake up and do all this. One, two, three!"

It's so easy getting new test subjects. I wonder how'd I'd get by without my many technological marvals! Dr. Osto thought, as he accepted the doctor's idea for full support of his research.

End of Chapter 1



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RavenTW on 2003-06-06 11:14 ]</font>

[RavenTW]

Chapter 2: Life resumed
Raven spent longer than even he knew leaving the laboratory. He and the other three subjects had never left the grounds, making his return to civilization that much more difficult. If he hadn't have had any recollection of his past, Raven might have thought that there wasn't any civilization on this planet.

But his breif memories of a life before the lab gave him hope. He didn't even care if the two thugs he had taken out were in the same area as the lab, he just continued to walk through the forest, hoping that some form of human life would reveal itself.

And it did. Before long, he saw the top of a huge building. After getting closer, it turned out to be some kind of present-day pyramid, with several rings around it. Raven had little to no idea of what those rings were meant for, unless they were decor. But he soon continued his task to get as far away from the Doctor's cronies as possible.

Not long afterwards, Raven found what appeared to be a residental area, but decided it was better for him to lay low for a while. He didn't want to attract attention, especially if this was an adjacent laboratory. He decided to act like the other people in the area, and look like he was going about his business.

Soon, he found an isolated section that seemed void of any life. He decided to stay in one of the buildings there and wait until he could come up with an idea on what to do next. He found one building, The Eternal Night Bar Club, and hid in there. After inspecting the place, he found a map which showed the location of residental and military areas, as well as the main building named the Central Dome.

Suddenly, Raven's memories began to expand. From just the remnents of a fight, they enlarged to reveal that this place was a colony, made in the desperate race to find a new homeworld. He had been here, possibly even lived here, before. He also realized just what this club was, and that it was only active with people at night. But he still didn't remember anything that would identify him, so he decided to leave and come back whenever somebody else came in.

For the rest of the day, Raven toured the colony until he had learned the placement of most everything. He then returned to Eternal Night once he found a sizeable amount of people in there. Upon entering, he saw people playing pool and other various games on billard tables. Raven decided it would be a good idea to see how the game worked, and maybe even try it himself.

After finding a table with only three men using it, he watched them play, figuring out the rules and what to do and what not to do, until one of the men became disturbed by his presence. He neared Raven, who was became a little agitated and gripped the hilt of his sword.

"Are you wanting to play or something?" the man asked, smoking a cigar.

"If you don't mind, yes," Raven casually replied as he took a nearby cue stick. "Who wants to play me?"

"Why not? You look easy enough," the skinniest of the three said, as the third one racked up the balls.

"Go ahead, I'll let you break," Raven told him.

"Thanks," the man replied, shooting the cue ball straight into the first ball in the triangle. All of the balls seperated as one of the solid-colors went into a corner pocket.

"Heh, guess Lady Luck has the hots for me," the man once again shot, placing another solid into a pocket. When his third shot missed, Raven stood up, and fired the cue ball straight into two stripes, placing them both into sperate pockets. Missing afterward, it was the skinny man's turn again.

The two continued until only one of Raven's balls and the Eight Ball were left, and it was the man's turn. The game had attracted a middle-aged Native American man to the table. He looked that way mostly due to his hair, which had two braids at the sides, and a Navajo-like headband. The man was also wearing a brown trenchcoat, adding to the Western look. He was fascinated in Raven's skill, and felt that Raven was holding back what he could really do at this game.

The skinny man had missed, and Raven instantly popped his ball into a pocket. the cue ball and eight ball were lined up to go into a corner pocket, and Raven was beginning to shoot their.

"I have an idea," the skinny man said. "Why don't we play a little game? If you make the eight into that side pocket shooting in this direction, we each give you a thousand meseta. If you don't, you have to give use each a thousand."

"Newcomer," Raven said, with a smile on his face. "Why don't you call my pocket?"

The man looked down at the table and thought it over before answering. "I'm going to agree with your opponent that the side pocket would make the best challenge."

"All right," Raven said, lining the shot up and shooting. The ball knocked the eight ball into the front wall, hitting the left wall, bouncing into the far right wall, hitting the back side, and rolling into the side pocket. everyone except Raven and the newcomer gasped, as Raven left with a simple "Keep your money."

"Uh-uh!" One of the men said, grabbing Raven by the throat and trying to choke him. "How'd you do that?"

"I guess Lady Luck is impartial," he replied, not seeming to suffer from the hold. The man squeezed tighter until his own hand hurt, and then let go, amazed.

"What kind of freak are you?" He cried, bringing out a Handgun.

"That's quite enough," The Native American said, drawing out a strange handgun and shooting the other one out of the thugs hand.

"Wow, a military-issued Varista," Raven said, slightly shocked. "Must be hard to get one of those."

"Military!?!?" the three thugs yelled, half-shocked. Immediatly, all three of them rushed after the two.

"Sir, I suggest we work together to beat these thugs up."

"Sounds good to me," Raven said, withdrawing his sword. "By the way, what should I call you?"

"You may call me Maverick," he replied, shooting a photon bullet into one of the men's arms.

End of Chapter 2

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RavenTW on 2003-06-09 09:38 ]</font>

[Sagasu]

So far so goos Raven. Maybe its just me but.... maybe it could be more future like, I mean, pool tables? I'm not really an expert but thats my feelin.

Lookin forward to the next chapter.

[RavenTW]

I was thinking of some way for Maverick and Raven to meet. Billard tables just hit me this afternoon.

[Deathscythealpha]

On 2003-06-06 06:41, RavenTW wrote:
And, if/when commenting, please be critical. No "This is developing well" or "This sucks". I want to see my flaws so I can make better fics, and the only real way to do that is with making more of them. So please give me all of your comments and criticizim. Don't worry, I won't hate you for saying it sucks.



Well, the story seems to be well structured at the minute, not giving to much away at the beggining but just giving enough infomation to make the story instantly interesting.

One thing i found a little odd was some of your choices of words in the PSO setting. You first described Maverick as a Native Americain. Pioneer 2 came from a different planet to earth, so Native Americains wouldnt have existed there. I know its a bit hard to describe a character with a native americain appearence without saying native americain, but the wording does ditract from the overall universe. Also, this line seemed a bit odd:

"Sir, I suggest we work together to beat these thugs up."

The wording didnt gel quite right when i read it, saying 'to beat these thugs up' just doesnt sound like something people would say.

Oh, and another nitpicking thing i found was this:

"Why are you leaving? Why can't we just stay here and help the Doctor?" she asked him, tears welling in her eyes. He walked over to her slowly, and placed his hand on her cheek.

"I can't stay here alone, Crow."

If i read that right, its still meant to be Dove talking, but the way youve paragraphed it it looks like another person has started talking, if you put the sentence set up like this;

"Why are you leaving? Why can't we just stay here and help the Doctor?", she asked him, tears welling in her eyes. He walked over to her slowly, and placed his hand on her cheek. "I can't stay here alone, Crow."

It makes more sense. Unless i read that whole bit wrong and its surposed to be another person talking, then that bit is just a bit confusing

I enjoyed what ive read of the fic so far, but i thought since you asked for some constructive criticism (have i spelt that right?) i would help out by pointing out some things. I hope my points help.

Oh, one last thing, when you update a section, run it through a spell cheacker. I do this whenever im updating my fic so i can spot any wierd grammer errors ive made or spelling mistakes. I spotted some minor spelling mistakes in the fic, but nothing too major (i know i make some of those spelling mistakes myself, i dont want to sound hypercritical here). If you cut the sections and paste them into Word, you can spell cheack it and keep a back up.

Again, i hope i have helped.

[RavenTW]

Thanks, just what I needed. And you have to understand that it's very hard to describe someone using terms from their universe, so I cut corners and said Maverick was Native American.
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Chapter 3: Shadows

"All right, go through that again please," a security officer asked one of the men in the bar.

"I told you, two guys came in here earlier, one guy started shooting with us, and during our game, the other came afterward, and called the man's pocket. He cheated and somehow made it in, so we tried to get our justice out of him, and both of them soundly kicked our butts."

"The guy's an animal," one of the other two chimed in. "He was swingin' that sword like he was a cyclone or something."

"Do you know where the two went?" The officer inquired.

"Heck no, we didn't wanna go chasin' after 'em when they just made our heads sore!"

"All right, did you-"

"We'll take it from here," another officer in a completely different uniform approached and flashed his badge at the security officer.

"Who are you?" The officer asked.

"Special Forces Agent Leo and this is Agent Virgo."

"A pleasure," a highly attractive female officer remarked as she showed her badge. "We will take care of these witnesses."

"Excuse me, but this is still a security matter, there is no need for any elite division to be interested in this."

"There is when the suspect is quite possibly a criminal that we have been pursuing for days. He has a completely random pattern, and has caused the deaths of too many. We are surprised he didn't kill these men outright."

"Listen, I-" the security officer started.

"Would you look at this please?" Agent Leo interrupted, taking a spire-like device and turning it on. The device opened to reveal a green gem, and the panels that opened began to spin wildly. Soon, the security officer and all three witnesses were deeply hypnotized.

"Now, officer, one minute, you will forget we ever met, and think that you let these men go, understood?"

"Yes..." The officer said drowsily.

"Good. You three, come with us."

The two agents and their witnesses left while the officer snapped back into consciousness, imagining that he had let the witnesses go back home.
-----------------------------------------------------
A silhouette could seen on the top of the building as someone watched the Special Forces leave. Soon, a called was heard on a transmitter.

"Yes, Jack?" a voice could be heard.

"Well, was he there or not?"

"I can't tell, the three bums certainly looked like Crow had been there."

"Hopefully having changed his name," the voice over the transmitter said in an annoyed tone.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know any new name he could have. I know how you feel about the past."

"Good, then until we get his name, refer to him with pronouns, please."

"Very well," the silhouette replied, and then saw a small flash. She looked to see two images fleeing from the scene, and could see the shine of silver hair.

"Jack, I think he was here after all."

"Good, keep on his trail. I don't want to have to sniff him out again."

"All right. By the way, those agents have some kind of mind-control device. That might be helpful in our plans."

The voice chuckled. "I think you just found my anniversary present."

"To three months of freedom!" the figure said, turning off the communicator while she slowly started to stalk the agents. After about five minutes, agent Leo looked back, noticing the distortion that the figure caused when moving.

"Hey, what the-"

The figured mentally de-activated her cloaking ability, revealing herself to be some sort of female hunchback with a lizard tail. She instantly pounced, kicking Agent Virgo into the ground, while she swung her tail at Agent Leo, grabbing the device. Virgo had gotten back up and withdrew her Bravace, only to have the creature's tongue shoot out, obtain it, and fire off a couple rounds before she disappeared. Agent Leo went back to check on his partner.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, but the Doctor isn't going to like this."

"I know," Leo said, frowning. "I will accept full responsibility." With that, the two headed off again with their hypnotized captives.
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Raven was gasping for breath while Maverick was checking the photon levels of his Varista. They were sitting down in the grass, hopefully far away enough from the colony so that no one could hear Raven yell.

"YOU DOLT! I SAID SHOOT THEM IN THE ARM! THE ARM, NOT THE FOOT!"

"HEY!" Maverick replied. "I DIDN'T WANT TO MISS AND KILL ANYONE, UNLIKE YOU, WHO GAVE THOSE GUYS TWO BLACK EYES IN THE SAME PLACE!"

The arguing continued until both of them were too exhausted to continue. That was when Maverick decided to change the subject.

"So, why did they select you for the Pioneer project?"

"Uh..." Raven thought about his answer for a minute. "Truth to tell, I'm not even sure how I got here."

"What, you have amnesia or something?"

"Something like that, I guess. But then again, the last year has been pretty forgettable."

"Yeah, same here. Wanna fill me in?"

"Not really. One of those 'need-to-know' things." Maverick chuckled.

"I could always point my gun at you."

"I could always cut her head off."

The two began to laugh. Raven had never felt this comfortable talking to someone before. Of course, he had never talked casually to anyone. It was either about the project, or about what lies beyond the lab.

"I forgot to ask what your name was," Maverick said.

"Call me Raven."

"Heh, all right. You know Raven, I think we're gonna have some weird and possibly fun days together."

"Together?"

"You know, a team. Albeit, a two-man team, but a team, nonetheless."

"I think that sounds cool." Raven replied, and then noticed the nighttime atmosphere. "So, we got any place to sleep?"

"After that fiasco, not anywhere civilized tonight," Maverick answered, looking back. "Guess we'll just have to sleep with the grass."

"Fine enough," Raven said, yawning. The two lay down and rested for the night.
-----------------------------------------------------

"So, how where the interrogations?"

"Very well, Doctor." Agent Leo replied. "Thanks to their information, we can definitely track Crow down."

"Good, I want to have him back by my next project," the doctor said, sitting at his chair while he fumbled with a new device.

"Sir, if I may ask, why did we not hunt the first two escapees before the other two left?"

"Good question," he answered. "It's because, if we tried that, then there would be less security to guard the other two, and they would break out sooner. Now, with all of them gone, we've got nothing left to lose, and can contribute all our resources into recapturing all of them."

"Very well sir," Leo said, and started to leave.

"By the looks of it, you seem to be short one Controller, am I right?" Dr. Osto pointed out to the agent.

"Yes, sir. I claim full responsibility for it. IT was not Virgo's fault."

"Oh, no, Virgo is not to be reprimanded. In fact, since it was you who lost, she will be promoted!"

"Very well sir," Leo gulped.

"You know what the punishment is," Osto said, reaching under his deck.

"Yes sir. I am ready to give all I have for your purposes."

"Good," the doctor replied, pulling out a Varista and placing a photon bullet in Leo's head.

"Special Forces Agent Virgo, you are now the head of the Zodiac Forces. Your first assignment is to take this corpse and deliver it to the researchers at the Life bay for their Frankenstein-ish experiment."

"Sir!" She replied, grabbing Leo's dead body without any expression.

"Before you go, how are the suits?" Dr. Osto asked

"They are going through the final phases of testing. They will be ready for use tomorrow," Virgo replied, still holding the body.

"Good."

End of Chapter 3
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This one took a lot longer, as it has three viewpoints and the aftermath of one viewpoint. I'm sorry for omiting the action sequences, but it's there to try and show off Raven's and Maverick's power compared to commen people. I will try to provide them with a sizeable challenge soon enough. Until then, it'll pretty much be character development, so please try and stick with it.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RavenTW on 2003-06-09 09:38 ]</font>

[Sagasu]

There is no problem with taking a little extra to describe your chars. I could easily tel who was talkng in this chapter, But don't be afraid or shy to take extra time to give a little more detail, or be more clear with what people are saying. The conversation between Raven and Maverick is the only time where I was kinda confused, it seemed a little rushed when u where writing there but mainly overall you did a better job with this last chapter.

Also the three division thing was O.K. too so dont worry about it.

[Vantamiath]

It's good to see a writer who can take criticism, but I don't see much wrong with it so far.

Keep up the good work! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_beer.gif

[RavenTW]

Chapter 4: Friend and Foe

Raven woke up to the sound of a gun cocking, worried on if any little animals had decided to sleep with him, or worse, some big animals doing the same. He turned around to see Maverick pointing his Varista at him.

"You gonna shoot me or something?" He asked.

"Just checking the sights," Maverick replied.

"I don't remember that such an old model as a Varista legally had sights."

Maverick smirked. "I don't remember any contract that said we had to follow the rules."

"So, what kind of job do you have? That doesn't sound like what a sales associate would usually say."

Maverick smirked again. "You always got a streak of humor?"

Raven shrugged. "I was made to taunt my enemies, so sue me."

"Made?"

"Your job first," Raven suggested.

"All right, well, how can I say this without being blunt. I guess you could call me an illegal breadwinner." Raven thought about his words for a minute.

"Your a theif?"

"A theif, a gambler, anything that's risky, makes money, and contradicts the colony laws," Maverick said, smiling. "So, what about you?"

"All right," Raven replied. This would take some time, but unfortunately, time was all they had.
-----------------------------------------------------

Raven and Maverick looked at the building they were about to enter, both dressed very nicely. Raven was in the usual black suit, wearing a skyblue pair of glasses. Maverick, however, was wearing a white suit with a tan tie, complete with a pair of glasses that had a light red tint.

The two entered into the building to find an elegant resturaunt that was made for the high society. Even Rico Tyrell was rumored to be joining everyone in the festivites of the new resturaunt's opening. Maverick was hoping that they wouldn't have to deal with her.

"All right, you know where the vault is, right?"

"Unlike some people, I don't forget," Raven replied confidently.

"Okay snow-head, I know you like to give the orders, but what we need is an expert at this stuff. We're gonna be meeting the owner of this place, and while I distract him with a little gambling, you go find the vault and take the money. Oh, and try not to kill any of the guards, okay?"

"Gee, that hurt. Are you accusing me of not being able to pull my punches?"

"No, I'm accusing you of the fact that your usually in a blood-red rage whenever we DON'T want casualties."

Raven sadly nodded his head as they made their way towards their seat. Raven had decided it was a good idea to join Maverick's "line of work", as it would completely throw the Doctor off. He was probably expecting that Raven wouldn't be dumb enough to post his name on the vid-screens as a fugitive, which made it all the more challenging, and all the more fun.

Raven and Maverick made their way to a six-person table where an aged man and his date for the occasion were waiting, along with two younger men. The eldest looked like he was in his middle 50's, with a white-grey beard, but suprisingly, no baldness on his head. His date, however, was a beautiful dark-skinned brunette around the age of 37, wearing a tan silk dress, covering her enough to be modest, but then revealing her skin everywhere else. It was there that Raven was most intruiged, as the women had several strange tattoo-like markings all across her body and face. The other two were middle-aged men wth black hair and dark sunglasses to hide their faces.

"Ah, evening gentlemen! I was wondering if you'd make it tonight," the aged man greeted them as the sat down. Raven swalloed a little. This was going to be tough as it was, but with the Doctor's people working against him, it would make it much harder. He said a small prayer as they ordered their food.
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No, the chapter's not over. I still got the heist to do, in case you haven't noticed. And in case you haven't noticed something else, this takes place on Pioneer 1, or more correctly, the colony before P2 comes. Sorry it took me so long to think of what to write next, but I needed time to do just that.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RavenTW on 2003-06-11 06:03 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RavenTW on 2003-06-16 06:11 ]</font>

[RavenTW]

"So, how is business, Cornelius?" Maverick asked the elderly man.

"The usual, opening up new public facilities, dreaming up elaborate designs, everything the cheif architect is supposed to do." Cornelius replied, then suddenly thought of something. "I'm so sorry, but I haven't introduced my friends here. These two here are from a special task force investigating a crime that happened recently. Gentlemen, meet agents Cancer and Tuaros."

"Pleasure," Cancer said.

"And this lovely affiliate of mine is known around here as Succubus," Cornelius continued, pointing to the woman beside him.

"Really?" Raven asked. "Does this mean you're going to seduce us and suck out our fliuds?"

Succubus laughed. "Well, Mr..."

"Raven."

"Raven, if someone's wit is contained in there blood, I might definately try to do that to you."

Raven kept his gaze on her while the other laughed. The group continued to speak until their food came.

"So, Mr. Raven," Succubus began to ask, "how did you know about succubii?"

"My...previous job required some knowledge on myths and urban legends and the like, plus it's interesting to me."

"Interesting. Can you possibly base somebody off of a mythological character?"

"It depends on how much I know of them. Were you thinking of someone in particular?"

Succubus smiled. "Yes, I was wondering what mythology would call Cornelius."

The man's smile turned into a straight face as raven prepared to analyze him.

"Well, if anyone comes to mind, I would likely relate him to the poor child Icarus, who, like Mr. Cornelius' ambition, soared so high that the sun melted his wings of feathers and wax, leading to his death." He waited for his statement to kick in before continuing.

"That is, of course, a worse-case scenario."

Once again, laughter filled the table until Cancer spoke.

"So Raven, why were you brought along with all of us in the Pioneer 1? I'm sure there's a good reason."

Raven looked up in thought, thinking he saw a small flash. "You know, I'm not really sure myself. I just woke up, and poof! I was on board."

The group continued to talk until Raven said that he had to go to the restroom. Instead of going there, he went up to the rafters at the top of the resturaunt, looking for whatever caused the flash. With no succes, his eyes grew dark, and the photonic sensory he had detected a human form right above Maverick, with what looked like a rifle pointing down.
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I'm sorry for making this short, but Dad wanted me off the computer, so I'll post the rest tommorrow.

[RavenTW]

Sorry for not posting sooner, but with my addiction to Megaman Battle Network (I beat #2! Yay!) and our packing for the trip Thursday, I just haven't felt like doing it.
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The assailent couldn't even react before Raven had snapped his neck. to make sure no one heard him, he carefully lay down the man on the rafters, and took his rifle before heading to the vault.

"So, Tauros, Cancer, what exactly are you investigating?" Maverick asked.

"There was a roughhousing incident at a bar in the outskirts of the Central Dome. But it we beleive it may be related to another incident where a man killed five people."

"Five? He must be very clever to commit such mass murdering and still evade the authorities."

"Yes, well, it's only a matter of time. We beleive he's somewhere in this area."

"You mean HERE?" Maverick asked. Cornelius chuckled.

"When I was informed of the situation, I had no choice but to let a couple of agents go undercover to try and find him. Plus they offered some extra security measures."

"Really? That's great."

"Well," Succubus said, getting up, "I think I need to use the ladies' room."

Raven was in the vault area, all of the guards unconcious before they could sound an alarm, finding a way to open the door. He tried a hit-and-miss at the combination, he tried cutting, he tried everything short of blasting it down.

"Hello," He suddenly heard behind him, and turned around to see Succubus standing there. But there was something...different...

"What are you doing here?" she asked, walking towards him.

Soon his eyes once again turned black. His photon sensory kicked in, revealing a mass of the said energy in front of him. Immediately Raven pounced, grabbing the woman and pushing her into the wall before drawing his sword against her neck. He then sniffed her for a moment.

"Mockingbird?"

"Don't EVER call me by that name again!" The woman said, transforming into a different woman, with reptilian detail.

"So, what do I call you?" Raven asked again.

"My name is Chameleon. Nothing else!" she said, as Raven broke his grip from her.

"I never thought I'd see the day when you stalked me."

"That's funny," the hybrid reptile-human replied. "But this," she said, pulling out a small spire, "is dead serious. Just keep looking at the spinning machine, Crow. Just keep looking, and fall deeper and deeper into sleep."

She turned it on, luring Raven into it's hypnotic gaze. Soon, he was in a deep trance.

"Good, now-"

No sooner had she begun to speak than a Foie blast disentegrated the machine, knocking Raven out of the trance. They both looked over to see Succubus with her palms forward.

"Didn't your mother tell you your supposed to charm your date, not control their mind?" she asked, readying another Foie attack. Chameleon hissed, and then dissapeared.

"Where..."

"She's invisible," Raven inturrupted. "Probably trying her best not to knock you over as she leaves. Thank you for helping me, Ms. Succubus."

"Oh, I have a price for all my services, but first, let's help with the vault, shall we?"

Using the code that she squeezed out of Cornelius, Succubus opened the vault to reveal a massive amount of meseta.

"Now," Raven began, "What do you want for helping me?"

"I want to join you. It's utterly dull being in high-society life. I want some adventure, and I think you'd be the one to give it."

Raven smirked. "You know how to get this past the front door?" He asked, as he readied the money.

"I can think of one way," she said, casting a Ryuker telepipe on the meseta.

"That helps."

"Well gentlemen," Maverick said, looking at his watch. "I beleive it is time for me to take my leave."

End of Chapter 4


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RavenTW on 2003-06-16 06:12 ]</font>

[RavenTW]

I bet you'd never thought this would have another chapter. Well, after a chat with someone who said they liked Eternal Hunter (amazed, I am. That was nothing but a long bio of Scion in my opinion), I decided to see this fiction through to the end. So, there.

Chapter 5: The Beggining of the End.

"When did she join our duo?" Maverick asked Raven after they met up.

"She wanted to join. What else could I do?" Raven replied casually.

"Leave her, for one."

"Excuse me," Succubus inturrupted. "but is chivalry so dead that woman can't even be reffered to in the first person?"

The two contemplated at the statement, and then stopped talking. Eventually Succubus started another conversation, and the three began talking about their lives. Raven's was, like before, hard to beleive, but they beleived it anyway. He was starting to think maybe they thought he was crazy, but as long as he had someone to talk to, he didn't care.

It was about that time Raven noticed a high-pitched noise in the dstance. He instantly picked up his sword and walked toward it, noticing what looked like two human-looking machines flying past the horizen. On closer inspection, it was a couple of people in flying armor. Raven could sense the photon shielding protecting them; It was obviously very advanced.

Of course, not even his heightened senses were needed to detect the heavy aramaments each suit had.

He instantly turned on his sword as one let loose with a barrage of photon bullets. Raven's eyes grew pitch black as he blocked each shot with his sword, then lept and cut off the right cannon arm. Fortunately for the wearer, his arm didn't fir entirely into the cannon, or he would have lkost more than a gun.

"That's the target. Switch to stun weapons and make sure he isn't injured. The Doctor will have our heads otherwise," the injured wearer said while the second one shot out an energy net. Raven could smell the posion made for knocking people out as he jumped and flipped over it. He suddenly grew a dark violent aura and slashed the saber diagnolly, sending a powerful shockwave which the two barely evaded.

"A Lavis!? He never said this guy had a Lavis!"

"Who cares? Just capture him!"

Raven glanced at the armor to notice shoulder cannons popping out. They then released a flurry of darts, likely filled with sleeping injections or other such restraining chemicals. He dodged half of them and deflected the other half, then glared at the two people when he noticed an explosion on the back of the injured one. After uttering a curse, the injured pilot fell to the ground and was enveloped in fire. The other turned around just in time to be fried by a powerful Zonde attack. Raven looked over to see Maverick with a smoking Varista and Succubus with her palms forward, looking like she had just delivered a technique.

"Ok, ok, so she's not bad," MAverick remarked as he holstered his Varista.

"We just had the element of surprise that time. If he tries that again, we may not be so lucky," Raven replied.

"So, what do we do?" Succubus asked.

"We wait."

"So, you really were telling the truth about your past, and that someone's out to get you." Maverick said.

"Yep."
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Dr. Osto was not in a good mood. Three of the Zodiac members were dead, two not at his hands. And to make matters worse, his genetic Zodiac he was creating had been stolen. Once again his research was going awry, just like Beta772. But this was different. This was human. If any of them exploited their potential, then all hell would break loose on the colony.
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About a year had passed. Raven, Maverick, and Succubus had been able to get a house using the money from their big heist, and life was nearly returning to normal. There was an occasional spike of raven's power when he got upset, but nothing much. The trio made sure not to make any acquantinces, as it could lead them straight into Raven's old "friend".

Life was peaceful during the day, but at night, it was completely different. Raven sort of patrolled the city, on the hunt for something he knew wasn't there, while Maverick and Succubus went to every underground club and just hanged out. It was the day after one of the more wild nights (Raven had a heck of a time knocking out punk shoplifters and Maverick and Succubus nearly got drunk) that Raven checked the mail to find the one thing he never thought he'd see.

A letter torn in the middle, just like... Raven opened it to find chicken scratch-like writing on it.

Finally, my friend. It's time for a family reunion. Valkrie, Chameleon, and I are all here to welcome you to the beginning of the dark world. Please come alone, or we'll have to do something to your friends.

It was just like Hawk said he'd write it. The knife tear, the illegible writing, and the threat. Raven went into the house and put the mail on the table before changing into his black leather jacket and pants. He then took his sword and headed out, locking the door behind him and breaking the lock.

[LJ]

I just started reading today. Sounds Like a pretty good story to me.

[RavenTW]

Raven made it back to the laboratory which he had so much despised throughout his life, amazed that there was no security on his way through the complex. Suddenly, he was greeted by a familier face.

"Dove?"

She stared at him with cold, expresionless eyes, as though she had changed somehow. For once in his life, Raven was afraid. Afraid of whatever made her like this.

"My name is Valkrie. It's good to see you, Raven," She said in a monotonous voice. "Please follow me, Jack is waiting."

Raven could only hope that he hadn't felt the increase in dark energy that seemed to emit from her. She walked him through the entire complex, past the restraining tubes of the other failed experiments of them, and into the control area, where he saw Dr. Osto and his workers tied to a large genorator.

"Welcome Raven, to the end of the new world. Very soon my co-worker will be surfacing to destroy your colony, and a new race will emerge," a warped voice said in the shadows.

"It seems that two of the poeple I used to know have new names. So what should I call you?" Raven asked to the air. A mutilated human figure with dozens of photon shards in his body emerged from behind Ostso, making a wicked grin to show his large row of fang-like teeth. "Valkrie, you may shed that disgusting human suit." Suddenly, the girl transformed into a haybusa-like creature, with golden wings and white talons.

"There was once a murderer in our old world. He was good at his job that the officials never caught him. Death after death, he was never located. I and this Jack the Ripper, as he was called, have almost the same line of work," The creature grinned again.

"Of course, THIS Jack doesn't plan just a few sparse murders. He plans a completely beautiful genocide, which will then turn into evolution for our race!"

"And HOW many mad scientist movies have you been watching?" Raven joked.

"I've been going through Osto's files here. He fused us with tissue of a human injured by a strange dark entity. I have finally contacted that entity and struck a deal with him. He gets the perfect host to house his spirit, and The human race gets a jump start at natural selection. But of course, why else would I invite you except to let you foil my plans. Well, to tell the truth, I've even made a plan for how you can save the colony."

"You're insane."

"No, my old friend. I'm inspired. Anyway, as I was saying, if you kill me, that transporter will activate, and send you straight into the Central Dome. From there, you can figure out how to stop my new friend."

"So, are we going to fight, or are you going to tie me up so that I have to break free, kill some guards, and then fight?"

"Now who's been watching too many movies?" Jack once again grinned. "Kill him."

Raven immediately slashed to his left, nearly clipping an invisable Chameleon. He suddenly saw Valkrie attack and kicked her down.

"What, you're letting girls do this for you?" he said, hitting both of them again as he dodged Chameleon's tail. The thing that was Jack started to snarl, angry at his guards as he walked further into the lab. Raven finally knocked out Valkrie and headed back to where Jack was, only to be stopped by Chameleon again.

"Don't make me kill you."

The creature smiled. "Death is merely an unfortunate setback in life," she said, and attacked again. Raven grabbed her tail as she lunged it, and hit her with the hilt of his sword. She tried to scramble up as Raven cut off her tail. The creature began to whimper as she glared at Raven. He met her glaze and brought his sword up, then brought it down again.

Raven stood over the corpse for a minute or two, then proceeded back to where Jack was, when he felt a sudden pain in his back. He looked to see that Valkrie had raked him with her talons. Raven fell to the ground, breathing hard as he tried to get a hold on the situation.

"I always hated you for leaving, Raven. I wanted to hear of your death for so long.And now, I get to do it myself."

"I'm sorry Dove. But I'm just going to dissapoint you again," He said, his eyes glowing black. He then swung with sword in hand, and stared into her hate-filled eyes as she knelt to the floor, then fell completely.

"JACK!" Raven said as he entered the area. He nearly avoided a shred of photon energy hurled at him. "How many more are you going to use as a shield, Jack? Is it because, for someone who beleives in evolving our species, you ironically have the most human of characteristics?"

"I swear I'll kill you Raven. I swear it!" Jack said, laughing.

"Then let's get this party started."