Fanfic: Ascension to Hell

[Monomate]

Chapter 1: Dark Loss

Gotta line it up...There! he fired. The shot flew from the Railgun and hit its mark perfectly. The Delbiter fell to the ground. He looked around at his team as they stepped into the warp. Naomi, his FOnewearl girlfriend, using a Redria Card, her bright red Sato floating behind her shoulder; Macbeth, HUcast Skyly, his Calibur glowing brightly, his Varaha giving him the appearance of large wings; Charles, his RAmar friend since the day they became hunters, using his favorite Demon's Blaster, with his trusted friend Madhu; and of course himself, John, HUmar, using a Railgun, his Deva floating innocently behind his shoulder.
"Well let's see where this thing takes us, shall we?" he said as they warped.

They arrived in what appeared to be a large elevator shaft. Naomi healed the team with Resta, before boosting their skills with Shifta and Deband. They waited, pondering what would be thrown out at them next. It seemed as if they had been granted a moments peace, when out of nowhere, an enormous blade knocked Naomi into the seemingly endless abyss of the elevator shaft.
"NO!!!!!!!!!" John cried.
"Naomi!" Charles and Macbeth shouted in unison.
At that moment John faced the abomination that had just made itself known. He threw down his Railgun and drew his Hell Pallasch.
"Come and get me you monster!" he shouted. Charles took aim in his scope, and Macbeth braced himself, and then the battle began.

She could feel herself falling, but she was unable to cry out. She was slipping away, the darkness pulling her in. She hit the ground, but the darkness had already claimed her...







<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: deathscythe_hell_custom on 2003-06-10 18:20 ]</font>





<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: deathscythe_hell_custom on 2003-06-11 08:15 ]</font>

[Monomate]

Chapter 2: Dark Rebirth


The Battle was over. The dark creature that had killed Naomi had been vanquished, and the elevator reached its destination. John walked over to Naomi's broken body, and knelt beside it as Macbeth and Charles looked on awkwardly.
"We must bring her back to Pioneer 2," John told them.
"I'll set a pipe," Charles replied solemnly. Charles set a telepipe back to Pioneer 2, and they warped back to the ship with Naomi's body.

Naomi awoke in what appeared to be a laboratory. She looked around and noticed a certain FOnewm glancing over some charts and graphs.
"Where am I?" she asked. The FOnewm turned around, and Naomi saw who it was. "Dr. Montague!" she gasped, causing the renowned Biotech scientist to laugh.
"Yes, of course...who else?"
"What happened to me?"
The doctor laughed, "You died!"
"What?!"
"You were killed by the abomination Olga Flow, and fell an impossible distance to the ground. Your friends brought you to me for help, as no one else was capable of that feat," he laughed again.
"Thank you...but...how?" Naomi asked, quite puzzled.
The doctor suddenly grew solemn, "I...rebuilt you using Biotechnology. You are, in essence, an android now."
"What!?! NO!"
"I understand that for a force of your skill, this will be a difficult transition, but it's all that could be done."
At that moment, a pink and white RAcaseal entered the room.
"Doctor, there is someone here to see the patient."
"Ah, thank you Elenor," he turned to Naomi, "come with me." He led her to a small visiting room and left. A few moments later, John entered.
"Naomi..." John started.
"What? Come to say you're sorry?" Naomi spat angrily, "Sorry for what? Not protecting me? Sorry for saving me? Sorry for bringing me back here and turning me into..." she motioned at her new metallic body, "this!"
"Yes Naomi, I am sorry...sorry for everything."
"I can't live like this." She turned to leave the room.
"Naomi..." John called after her.
She stopped, "My name is Dark Naomi now," and with that she left.

She escaped the lab, and warped down to the forest surrounding the Central Dome. She needed to practice her new skills in her new body.

After killing several enemies in hand-to-hand combat, she felt something inside her, something very familiar to her, a power she'd once had. What is this? she wondered, Can I... A Booma approached, and she released herself, firing a blast of Foie and killing the beast.
"Yes...I can..." she said solemnly.
<You must kill!> came a voice from inside her, oddly, she felt as if the voice was a part of her. <Chaos and darkness reign supreme!>
"Yes. Yes, that shall be my path." She looked down at her left hand, the Redria section ID embedded in its back. "I, Dark Naomi shall have my revenge upon the world!"

[Monomate]

Chapter 3: Dark Reunion


Several weeks after Dark Naomi's escape from Pioneer 2, Macbeth had taken leave of the team and travelled to Ragol to search for her. It had been a week since he had gone, and there was still no word of him. John looked around at his newly assembled team. Charles and himself, of course, had remained, but Naomi and Macbeth had been replaced by Liz, a petite RAmarl who used a Sniper, and Frost, a sleek HUcaseal who used a set of Demon's Rippers. They were all just waiting in the Hunter's Guild as John spoke with Kathryn about a job.
"Several hunters have mysteriously disappeared within the last several weeks," she told him.
John thought for a moment, Could this have anything to do with Dark Naomi? "Where?" he asked.
"All in the seaside of Gal Da Val island."
Macbeth went to check out the seabed installation of Gal Da Val...perhaps he was intercepted by the seaside before he got there... "Well...I suppose we'll go looking for them," he told Kathryn.
"Very well, I'll put you down."
He walked over to the others. "It looks like we'll be heading for the beach," he laughed.
"So...Gal Da Val?" Charles wondered.
"Of course!" John replied. They walked into the warp, and piped down to Ragol.

They're coming...
<Revenge!>
The voices within her telling her that her former team was on its way to her. They would attempt to stop her, but her power knew no bounds.
<Kill them all!> the dark voice inside commanding her, <Their blood must Flow!>
"Yes, their blood will flow..." She smiled at the thought.

The team arrived on the beaches of Gal Da Val, and John and Frost went ahead, while the long range support Rangers Liz and Charles lagged a little behind. Suddenly a bolt of Gizonde flew at them from behind, hitting them all. The team turned around, and there stood the android Dark Naomi.
"So...you've arrived..."



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: deathscythe_hell_custom on 2003-06-12 12:04 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: deathscythe_hell_custom on 2003-06-12 12:06 ]</font>

[Sagasu]

Damn..... This is constructive critisism, your chapters can be bigger, like the first three could be put into one. Also, I don't know If you mean to eleborate on this, but Naomi's reason for wanting revenge seems kinda.... geto... you need to expand on that, like there attitudes, if Naomi was a snob, with a bitchy attitude, she would kinda be like that. But if she was a generally good person, she could get pissed, but not go to the insane side and start to kill and destroy.
``````I don't mean to be crude, but it the only way you can fix your mistakes.

[Monomate]

it'll all (well...mostly) be explained in later chapters. Trust me. Also, the reasons the chapters are so short is that i don't have much time to work on them so i do little bite size bits at a time.

[Vantamiath]

I don't mind the short chapters.

Keep up the good work http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[Monomate]

Chapter 4: Dark Discovery


"Naomi! What're you doing here?" John asked.
"I have ascended into Hell...I assume you've come to stop me. However, I intend to share my Hell with you." she replied.
<Destroy them!>
"No! Not yet! They must suffer first!" she turned around, "I'm sorry...the voices..." She faced them again. "We shall meet again." She thrust her left hand towards the sky, and called down the punishing rain of the Heavens.

When the team awoke, Dark Naomi was nowhere to be found.
"Damnit! She killed them! All of them! And she means to destroy us as well!" Charles yelled in frustration.
"Yes...there is something dreadfully wrong with her," John replied absently. He turned and faced Charles. "We must see Doc Montague. Perhaps he can tell us what is going on." He set a pipe and they warped back to Pioneer 2.

"Yes, I wondered at that when you first brought her to me. When I examined her, it appeared she had been infused with a very powerful and evil force before she died. I believe she was corrupted by Olga Flow, and is the newest threat to Ragol and Pioneer 2. Dark Falz and Red Ring Rico, Olga Flow and Heathcliff Flowen, Dark Naomi and Naomi. It would explain her tremendous increase in power, and her destructive behavior and thirst for vengeance." Dr. Montague told the team, when they had come to him about Dark Naomi.
"But...how is she able to use techniques as an android?" John wondered.
"Oh, that. That's because she was rebuilt using some of her own living tissue. Life energy flows through her, allowing her to use techniques as if she were a living being, even if she is an android. It also explains the survival, and power of the dark being that exists within her," he paused, "It also means that the only way to stop her...is to kill her."
John nodded solemnly.

As they left the lab, they saw Kathryn racing towards them.
"John!"
"Kathryn?"
"John, we've just recieved a transmission from the Central Dome. John, an incredibly powerful Dark Force has taken over the Central Dome and the entire Forest around it."
"It's Dark Naomi. We've got to stop her before she moves against Pioneer 2."

Yes... She could feel her power growing.
<Destroy!> the voice within her had become stronger. <Seek Revenge!>
The power within her grew to unimaginable heights, threatening to engulf her.
"I am the most powerful being in the Universe!" she cried.
<Power Overwhelming!>

[Monomate]

Chapter 5: Dark Forces


John and the team warped into the Forest around Central Dome, and were immediately surrounded by numerous enemies, enemies definitely not native to the Forest.
"She must've recruited every beast from here to Gal Da Val!" Charles said.
It appeared that he was right. John looked around. Hildebears, Hildelts, and a few mutated variations of each. Nano Dragons, Grass and Crimson Assassins. A few scattered Sinow Blues. Delsabers, Chaos Sorcerers, Dark Bringers, and of course Dark Belras. Meriltas, Ul Gibbons, and Delbiters. Charles and Liz lined up their shots and John and Frost rushed madly into the army of Death. Liz and Charles fired right as John and Frost reached the group, each hitting their mark perfectly. A Dark Belra and a Hildebear fell to the ground. John tore into the creatures in a battle frenzy, his Hell Pallasch slicing, thrusting, always hitting its mark. Frost was a furious whirlwind of dancing blades, her Demon's Rippers tearing into everything around in a beautiful dance of Death. Charles and Liz kept up a covering fire from a distance.

After several minutes of intense combat, the battle was over, all enemies vanquished. John stood, covered in blood, breathing hard. Charles and Liz joined the two Hunters and they continued towards the Central Dome. When they encountered an enemy, the four of them made short work of it. Finally they reached it. The only thing that seperated them from Dark Naomi was a door, and three Delbiters.
"Oh bloody hell." John muttered.
"Three..." Liz whispered.
"John, we have no chance of doing this..." Charles told him.
"Our chance of survival is slim," Frost noted.

The battle was fierce, the Delbiters were resilient foes. When the last Delbiter fell, the team stood ahilw, assessing their wounds and catching their breath. Liz used her minimal skill with techniques to cast Resta on the team before the entered the final battle with Dark Naomi. They stood grim-faced. This battle would be all or nothing. They entered the Dome...


They're here... She could feel their energy just outside, locked in battle with her ferocious Hellhounds.
<Blood! The blood will Flow! Destroy the enemies! Seek Revenge!> cried the voice.
"Not long now. Not long now..." Her last precious pet was dead now, she could feel its power waning. Soon, she thought, Soon it will all be over...

Central Dome looked different than the last time any of them had seen it. It had a more sinister look, and there was a dark mist that permeated the place with evil. In the center stood Dark Naomi, brandishing a demonic scythe. Pure evil seemed to radiate from her being.
<It begins.> Everyone heard the voice, inside their minds, from within.
"I'll destroy you." Dark Naomi told them calmly.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: deathscythe_hell_custom on 2003-06-18 07:24 ]</font>

[Monomate]

for the like maybe 5 of you that actually are reading this fic, i know i've been posting a short chapter a day, but i wasn't here all day today, so i haven't written the next chapter. sorry. i'll definitely get it up tomorrow, maybe the one after that too (if i manage to make two chapters out of my latest idea...)

[Monomate]

The Final Chapter: Dark Ending


"She has grown far more powerful since our last encounter," Frost warned.
"You guys stay back. This is my battle. That thing took her from me, and I am going to bring her back." John told the others. He walked towards Dark Naomi. She was watching him intently.
She laughed, "I have ascended to Hell, gaining power unimaginable. You cannot hope to stop me."
"Then I'll die trying," John replied. He rushed at her, whirling his Hell Pallasch furiously. Just before he reached her, however, she shot a powerful bold of what appeared to be blue Zonde at him, hurling him back several feet. He climbed up slowly, clutching his chest. Just as he drew his newly replaced Railgun, Dark Naomi unleashed a blast of Megid right at him. He jumped out of the way, and fired a shot, hitting Dark Naomi solidly in the chest. The shot hardly fazed her. Charles looked at her in amazement.
"Pathetic," she spat.
John threw the Railgun to the ground and again weilded his Hell Pallasch, his efforts redoubling. He rushed forward and brought the Hell Pallasch down on her, but she blocked with her scythe, and kicked John back. The two began a dance of death. Naomi's scythe flashing, and John's Hell Pallasch matching it blow for blow. The two spinning, striking, dodging, a perfectly choreographed battle. Occasionally they scored hits on each other, but overall they seemed equally matched. However, John was beginning to tire, and Dark Naomi never would. How can I stop her? John wondered, She hasn't even unleashed her full power yet! As John stood catching his breath, Dark Naomi called down a single powerful beam from the Heavens. John dodged it, but he tripped and fell to the ground. The beam missed him, but Dark Naomi stood over him.
"Goodbye," she said. She raised the scythe, and struck, but just before the blow hit, she was struck by two beams and stumbled backwards. Charles and Liz had finally interfered to save John's life.
"You fools!"
<Destroy them!>
She launched a powerful wave of energy at them, knocking the two to the ground. However, they had bought John time, and he was up and running. He lunged at Dark Naomi, and managed to carve a deep gash into her side. She spun around quickly and cast Megid at John as he landed. It hit him full force, and he collapsed to the ground.
<Yes! Death! Now kill them all! Let the blood Flow!>
She turned to the rest of the team, only to face Frost, who stood before her. Frost forced her Demon's Rippers into Dark Naomi's chest. Dark Naomi cried out in pain and rage, and unleashed a powerful electric attack that sent Frost flying. She landed in a heap several yards away. She turned to Charles, but he was already running. He grabbed his friend's Hell Pallasch, lying a few feet from John's body. As Dark Naomi started toward him, Liz shot her in the back, causing her to stumble, and Charles thrust the Hell Pallasch into her chest. She straightened, and backed away in horror and rage. Then with a final rush of power, she swung the scythe, killing Charles as she died, and they both fell to the ground.

Liz walked over and checked Frost. The android was in pretty bad condition, but she would probably make it. She moved to Charles next. He was dead alright. Naomi's scythe buried in a deep gash in his chest. She took the scythe, and walked over to where John lay. He was dead as well. Taken by the power of Hell itself. She set a pipe back to Pioneer 2, and took all the bodies with her. Her eyes welled up with tears, that slowly fell, and traced lines down her face.

Charles, John, and Naomi were all buried together as friends. Liz and Frost remained together as a team of two. Liz still used her Sniper, and Frost used Naomi's Scythe. They were the best hunter's around, and everyone knew it. A perfect combination of speed and unbridled ferocity, and incredible marksmanship. Every month they visited the graves of their fallen team members, and remembered...



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: deathscythe_hell_custom on 2003-06-20 07:57 ]</font>

[Monomate]

woohoo! finally finished. Sorry it took so long on the last one. I was really busy the past few days. Most of the time i was asleep half the day, and gone the rest. I wrote it last night while trying to go to sleep lol. Ok, so whaddaya think?

[Davion]

Well, let me be the first to say great job. The plot was easy to follow, and you explained the characters well. Also, the sentences were built well, better than most fics I've read and far better than some of my early chapters. Although it was a bit short, that doesn't take away from the fact that it was still a great read. I'd say that this would make a great story for you to rework sometime in the future and give it an extension.

I look foward to seeing what you'll write in the future.

[Monomate]

thanks. I will rework it eventually, i always do. I'll probably go back in and include more detail in the chapters, make them longer etc... I really enjoyed writing it, which is why i think it's so good, and i'll probably enjoy reworking it just as much, if not more. Anyway, thanks.

[MagicForce]

[quote]
On 2003-06-18 10:13, deathscythe_hell_custom wrote:
thanks. I will rework it eventually, i always do. I'll probably go back in and include more detail in the chapters, make them longer etc... I really enjoyed writing it, which is why i think it's so good, and i'll probably enjoy reworking it just as much, if not moreAnyway, thanks.

why do you say? what god>:(