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Jaks
Nov 24, 2003, 07:36 PM
Hope you like it. And by the way Mixfortune said could make this fic.
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Umm hi I'm Bianca, Bianca Tyrell, a hunter, I also happen to be Red Ring Rico's twin sister, strangly we do everything the same, we even dress alike! I'm trying to find her, she's been gone for so long.Where is she? Oh wait this story is about me!Well mostly me... Basicaly I like blue and since my sis has the title Red Ring Rico, I was affectionatly dubbed Blue Bling Bianca. Like her weapons I wield the Blue Saber and such. Well,
here is my adventure.

"Ahh the fresh foresty air!" I say,"I have to quit talking to my self, it's unhealty!Ow!"I turn around to see a Booma about to take another swipe so I hit it back with my Blue Saber. "Still standing eh?"Just as I'm about to shoot it with my Blue Mechguns another hunter leaps through the brush and takes him down. "You should take caution. Animals here are very violent" he says. "Thanks for the tip! Uh hey you want to travel with me?I'm looking for my sister." I said. "Sure" was his response "By the way my name is Baldwin." "Uhh", I couldn't say anything as I gazed upon the HUmars masculine body, weilding his sword like it was nothing. "Lets go Ms. Bianca", he called. I then ran up to him and we left the Forest.

We arrive in the Central Dome. "Hey Baldwin?" "Yeah, Ms.Bianca?" "Have you heard anything about my sis?" "Well, she and Sir Heathcliff Flowen went to investigate the Ruins a long time ago." "Really?" "Yep" "Then let's go to the Ruins tomorrow!" "Sure"

The next day after my usual stuff, I grabbed up my weapons and went to the entrance to meet Baldwin. "Oh, Ms.Bianca! How are you this morning?", he asks. My only response was, "I'm fine". "Ms. Bianca, you wouldn't mind if I brought a few friends would you?" "Who is it?" Then Baldwin signals for someone and a FOmar in purple and an orange and black RAcast step from behind a pillar. "This one is Nocturne, a support force, and Demolisher D-5, or D-5 for short.", Baldwin explains. "Well, lets get on over to the Ruins!", I say with great joy running past all three of them.

At the Ruins I noticed D-5's weapon, it was a NUG-2000 Bazooka, I hadn't seen those since my dad showed me them on a museum trip, when I was 6. Our group advanced into the next room, it was large. And before I could make more observations, a swarm of strange Boomas appeared, they were black and green. We rushed into battle and I was knocked right down from a single hit. All of a sudden I feel all warm, I look around and see Nocturne casting Shifta and Deband. So drawing my Blue Sword I swipe at the strange creatures. Several fell after a while, and when I cast RAfoie to finish off the remainder, another creature that looked like a fellow hunter attacked D-5 who in return blew it away.Soon all the monsters were gone so we advanced into the next room.

It had been a while since we entered the Ruins. We encountered lots of strange things, like a mage with strange powers, a centaur with a sword and rifle, and crystilian beasts that shot red and green beams. Eventually our group arrived at a room with an alter in the middle. "Ahh!",Baldwin screamed. "What is it? Are you well?" D-5 asked. "My chest... it hurts real bad..." Baldwin struggled to respond. Nocturne tried Resta and Anti but nothing cured Baldwins pain. So after a minute of thinking I gave him a Sol Atomizer. "Thanks Ms. Bianca" "Please just call me Bianca" "Okay" When we went to the teleporter the destination was unknown. "Whats up with this?", Nocturne said. "Just press the damn button!"D-5 yelled. "Alright, no need to shout.", then Nocturne pressed the switch.

We arrived in a pretty field, and it had a huge obelisk in the middle. I walked up to it and it flashed and became almost invisible. Several spinning blades popped up. "What are these?!"Balwin shouted slicing down a bunch of them. I took a couple swings falling a few. Then all of them went back underground. "Huh?" D-5 said confused. We looked at the obelisk that resurfaced. It falsed a few times and it broke open revealing a humongous beast. Baldwin ran up to it cutting a few times at the dragon looking head. Nocturne cast Shifta and Deband again thaen drew a Twin Brand striking another part of the evil beast. After ten minutes of fighting the beast cast a spell similar to photon blast Pilla. Our group was defeated. I saw my friends die. Then I died.

"Wha? Wh-where am I?!", I say looking around. "Hello sister.", someone called. "Rico?" "Nice to see you again Bianca" "Were are we?" "The beast Dark Falz has absorbed us into his being" "How long do we stay here?" "Until Pioneer 2 hunters come to rescue us." "What of my friends?" "They are perfectly safe" "That's good" Staring into the darkness I await the day my brave knight will save me.

MQuantum
Nov 25, 2003, 08:04 AM
Wow. that's depressing.

And slightly short and jumpy. You need to work quite a bit on character development, and spelling, and description.

All in all though, it was not a bad attempt if you've never done this before. Just keep improving!

Robo47
Nov 25, 2003, 02:48 PM
Yeah, I bet this was a tad difficult to do since the only other fanfics were "What a Crazy n00b!" and those were real short. But yes it was okay.