FanFic: Fan Fiction Trailers and Reviews [Archive]

Garanz2

Jan 15, 2004, 01:19 PM

I second that. It's great how the characters in hikara's fics interact and progress.

And now, to shamelessly promote myself:

It's not often a story, or a serious one at least, is told through the perspective of a rappy. So if you're looking for something interesting and new, written from a non-human perspective, read
<center>'IDOLA have the immortal feather'</center>

This epic story follows on from Black Force, Black Rappy, Red Ring, but you don't have to read BFBRRR to understand. Fans of BFBRRR and newcomers alike should read this tale of hatred and misunderstanding.

Del is a rappy born to serve Dark Falz, and looks it. However an encounter with a hunter called Slash Edgewind changes his life of evil. Their souls bonded together, they set out to warn Pioneer Two of the danger that lurks beneath Ragol, but are captured and subjected to experiments. Can Del escape Pioneer Two with his life, while warning the humans of their possible impending doom? And can the Pal rappy, who abandoned Del before, redeem himself and save his race from destruction?

Read and find out!

shinto_kuji

Jan 15, 2004, 01:51 PM

I feel... weird doing this. Something I've been working on. Taken directly from the 1st chapter.

-----

He rubbed his weary eyes and peered once more through the scope of his rifle, a Justy-23ST- a weapon known for its accuracy. The parade had started and music was resounding through the dense, shadow-enveloped forest. He could make out, through the magnification of the scope, a dozen or so hunters carrying various swords and guns. He guessed they were the bodyguards. Easy enough. It seemed stupid of the government to agree to something like this and it was surprising how they didn't keep tabs on people who weren't official hunters. They aren't the only ones who can be dangerous, but they would realize that soon enough.

He pulled his cloak tightly around him, one based off the Sinow model, and adjusted the zoom on the scope. Once the view cleared, his body tensed. There he was. The bastard. He trained his aim on the target.

"Go with the movement... go with the flow," he told himself.

Why should that man get to live when so many had died because of him? He readied the trigger and prepared to pull it. Amazing what a simple motion of a finger can do. Though, before he could fire the shot, the target vanished from site behind the crowd. He adjusted his spot in the tree to try and get a better view. Damn. No good. Oh well, he had plenty of time. He briefly closed his eyes and massaged his neck. A tree definetly isn't the most comfortable spot there is.

It's a strange feeling when you're about to kill a person. You wouldn't think your own life passes through your mind, but it does.

-----

The Red-Blue Opera, coming soon! (maybe)

I feel cheap now^_^;

[ This Message was edited by: shinto_kuji on 2004-01-15 10:57 ]

Mixfortune

Jan 15, 2004, 02:17 PM

Hmm I wasn't sure where I should take a trailer from, so I just decided for a piece of Chapter 30.
EDIT- Chapter 30 of Before Twilight, just in case I happened to have other 30+ chapter long fics >_>
---------------------------------

Vasco continued. "Ooo~h yes! Galel Vendus! You might not have heard of him, but perhaps you've heard of
relatives of Mr. Vendus by checking the rosters over at the ole Administration computer mainframe.
Cecilia "C.C." Vendus, Ontario Vendus, and Linbard Vendus. Each one were his children, and each one he had
inserted into the Administration's Teams, not telling them that their brothers and sisters would also be
sent to the surface. I suppose one child knew of these plans, since he ended up missing. Go figure.
You see, Galel is after the same thing as us. The 'Secret of Chaos'. You are after the same thing, whether
you know it or not. The Administration has plans for Sigolfitz."

"I've heard of Galel Vendus. He's kin to the ancient bloodline. According to what you've said, he wants
to test the abilities of his children to find out which out actually holds the key to the 'Secret of Chaos'.
You're saying Sigolfitz is the missing Vendus."

"Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not" smirked Vasco. "Either way, I bet Tyrell is a pain in your sides."

"He's not a problem so long as he stays right where he is."

Vasco laughed once again. "As I said, your purpose here is wasted. Tyrell has won. The Administration is
now nothing more than dried ashes from blazing corruption, blowing away before the winds of change, as
the saying goes. He's also set his sights on Ragol. He's even sending Hunters, Rangers and Forces from
the guild down here as reconnasaince. Your time here, Team 0, is over, as I shall prove with my army."
---------------------------------

[ This Message was edited by: Mixfortune on 2004-01-15 11:20 ]

Chaos_Phoenix

Jan 15, 2004, 02:40 PM

Imagine this:
What if there was a rift between the real world and the world of Phantasy Star? What if, somehow somewhere, the rift was opened, and three people from the real world were sucked into it. How would they adapt their lives, in every aspect, just to survive? Read My Phantasy to find out...

Zebulan7

Jan 15, 2004, 04:06 PM

It reset again!!! Anyways, my shameful shelf-promotion...

This is an exert from my last chapter, no one knows who it is yet. I do this the chapter before I introduce the character formally. My fanfic is unique in this way, I have different perspectives of the same time. You should read it.

---

The Guild episode one : Pioneer Two

I know why they are coming.

I know why he is coming.

I know why I am here.

I know why she is here.

I know what he won't let her do.

I know that he knows that I know.

Yes, they are coming.

---

This will make sence if you read my fanfic/ when the next chapter comes out.

I also do my own drawings, or at least try...
http://members.cox.net/zebulan7/pictures/photonvehicleGreg Staying High

[ This Message was edited by: Zebulan7 on 2004-01-15 13:08 ]

White_Knight

Jan 15, 2004, 07:54 PM

OK I'm going to podt from the Tales of VaAn seeing as I like that one a little more than my other one so here it goes

_____________

Late at night somewhere in the streets of Pioneer 2. The artificial rain is falling. The false weather was deemed nessicary to keep a semblance of normality for the people on boared. A man is crouched over a newman women most likly a force. There is some blood trickling down the side of her pale neck as well as the cloacked mans cheeck.
A military gaurd walks around the corner to see the two.
"You there step away from the girl and put your hands in the air!" The guard shouts shooldering his rifle. The man stads and starts to walk away calmly.
"I said put your hands in the air!" The guard says as he pulls the triger on the rifle. The photon bullet zips past the man's cheeck, barly scratching it, just enough to make it bleed.
_____________

there want to find out what happens read the tales of VaAn.

Skett

Jan 15, 2004, 09:33 PM

Well, since Hikara mentioned this thread on his thread I decided to put the review of his first fic. (And Hikara, this is a new review that I just wrote)
.....................

Protectorate of Light
"As if the light isn't protected enough"

-I have to admit something: I made a big mistake. The mistake was to dismiss this fic for a second-rate story. Its true but I'm glad I re-read the earlier chapters or else I would have missed arguably the best new story of 2003. Now with the sequel being read by everyone on the forums, I think it is a good time to go back and see what made the first one such a hit.

-First: story. Arguably the most important thing in a fic, just like gameplay to games, because if your story is unoriginal and/or boring, chances are your mother is the only person who will read your crap, I mean fic. Luckily, Protectorate uses a old and pretty unused story idea (A normal person who admires a great and powerful person only to find out later that he/she is that person. Oh, and they save the world) and wraps it in PSO paper. The results are nothing less than astonishing. Hikara has created a world that can only be described as a bright but yet dark at the same time.

-Next, we will discuss characters. They are diverse. Every character has a different attitude towards life, a different type of character. They range from the kind and caring to cold and... cold. While many fics have this, Hikara has somehow made each of them fresh. All the characters have different histories to go along with them also. Dispite these neat characters, one might become confused with how many characters there are. Some are easy to distinguish but some just sound very alike.

-The paragraphs, ah, the paragraphs are surprisingly well written. All character dialogue is created very organized and well thought. You will never get confused on who is speaking. And the descriptions, while not perfect, tell you where the Starlight Runners (the team clan) are, what they are doing, and any other thing that you may need. Not to much to complain about thankfully. They were created surprisingly well.

-If I didn't see the writers name, Hikara, next to the chapters I might have thought it was created by BlackHawk or another famous writer. The dialogue, characters, and overall quality are very well done. If not for a few roadbumps (mostly unsolved plot stuff) this would have scored higher but even those holes in the road could not stop a great story from stealing the time of so many users. A classic by all means.

Name: Protectorate of Light
Writer: Hikara
Good: Bright and creative cast
Bad: Few holes left in plot
Probably the first to use: a part of Sonic's theme
Score: 8/10 (Silver Award)
http://img20.photobucket.com/albums/v60/Namevah/Silver_Award.bmp

[ This Message was edited by: Skett on 2004-02-04 16:25 ]

KodiaX987

Jan 15, 2004, 10:03 PM

"Stowaway bastards and bitches, coming through!"

A group of friends bound for life...

In a world where cheating the system is as common as the money used to do it...

Until...

"The ruins are open."

...Everything breaks apart.

"You got hit pretty bad by some infection. It's eaten most of your RAM, it's covered your CPU, and done some other things I can't even describe myself... But the important part is that it's caught your hard drive.

"But what about my knowledge?! My memories!! There's people I know! There's people I would STILL like to know!!"

The story of one android...

"No, that's not okay!!!"

...Cursed with the hands.

"You can't stay with us anymore. The Chip Group voted so in a planet meeting."

"FUCK YOU!!!

In the blink of an eye, an android is left alone in the world.

No friends, no contacts, no family...

Only an entire ship wishing her dead.

"You have no idea what it is to be me, you have no idea what I have gone through to end up here, and you have even less of a fucking idea what I am about to do to a government that doesn't have an ounce of common sense!!"

See the chilling account of a soul who did not want to die.

This story is for all the sorry victims of the world.

"Say... If we are a robot and an animal put together... What's our name?"

Shrike had to think for a few seconds. She passed into fourth to take the freeway, and simply toned:

"Let us call ourselves the Insa."

This is...

R
E
P
U
B
L
I
C

I
N
S
A
--------------------
THE HOUSE OF GOD (http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1193919)
and
THE ANDROID SIN (http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=981671)

And if you think you are strong enough to handle even more... Then just think of all the repercussions:

THE ARMAGEDDRIVE NIGHTMARE (http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1539062)

[ This Message was edited by: KodiaX987 on 2004-01-15 19:05 ]

Robert_Wolf

Jan 16, 2004, 04:11 PM

On 2004-01-15 11:40, Chaos_Phoenix wrote:
Imagine this:
What if there was a rift between the real world and the world of Phantasy Star? What if, somehow somewhere, the rift was opened, and three people from the real world were sucked into it. How would they adapt their lives, in every aspect, just to survive? Read My Phantasy to find out...

I read this fan fiction just recently, and am submitting a review.

The plot is a very imaginative idea. A few teenagers from our time are sucked through some kind of dimensional rift and transported to the universe of Phantasy Star. The characters are each lively and entertaining.

Note: These are my personal thoughts. You should only read these if you still plan reading the fic.

Personally, I find it all a little too convenient. The teens each have been studying fields related to one of the character classes of Phantasy Star. Also, some of the characters know things without ever having to figure it out slowly. They just
know.

The plot is very imaginitive, however. I expect that a lot of people will find this story entertaining. With a little work, this could become a story with a strong following.

I mean all of this as constructive criticism. It is a good story.

Robert Wolf's rating: ***1/2 out of five

[ This Message was edited by: Robert_Wolf on 2004-01-16 13:12 ]

Deathscythealpha

Jan 17, 2004, 11:49 AM

Do Hucast's Dream of Electric Rappy's?: 6 months have passed since the defeat of Dark Falz and the people of Pioneer 2 are finally starting to colonise Ragol. But a new threat has appeared, the Dark Falz Cultist's, a group dedicated to reviving their dark lord once again.

Deuce is a bounty hunter hired to wipe out any Dark Falz Cultist's he comes across, but with his latest batch of targets, he is finding out stuff he never would have wanted to, about the Cultists and himself.

What are the Dark Falz Cultist's? Who is really leading them? And what is Deuce past that he has forced himself to regret? Read 'Do Hucast's Dream of Electric Rappy's?' to find out.

(links in my sig under DH1)

Digi-Dolphin

Jan 17, 2004, 02:13 PM

I'm gonna feel a little weird, but here goes....

Phantasy Crossing
The Result of L33T Tang

The day starts out normally, you're on your way to visit your girlfriend, lugging along your brand new 'Cube and a cool new game. Suddenly, it all goes downhill.

Next thing you know, you're being chased by Boomas, dragged underwater by De Rol Lei, talking smack with Black Paper in WORKS' old secret lab, and swapping hits with Dark Falz...and for what?!

For furniture and the hope of going home....

Animal Crossing, meet Phantasy Star Online. Hunting's never gonna be the same.
_______________________________________________

I'm trying for a two for one deal!

Phantasy Crossing Episode 2
Broken Harts

Revenge, transdimensional wormholes, the threat of world domination. Valentine Hart returns to Ragol to rescue his wife and take out L'zac once and for all. With Olga Flow on the brink of destroying the island, and Black Paper ready to conquer Animal Crossing, does the man with weapons of gold stand a chance to save two worlds, Periwinkle, his friends, and his own skin? Or will he suffer the fate of Heathcliff Flowen and become the next bio-weapon for Black Paper's evil intentions?

__________________________________________

I'm trying for exclusivity of Ep. 2 on my webpage, once the darn thing's debugged. Scripting everything from scratch is a pain. -_-;;;

Robo47

Jan 18, 2004, 05:36 PM

Tokai Senshi
Jaks' PSO fic

This is a great story! It may not be as great Protectorate of Light or Black Hawk fics but it is still real good. I highly suggest reading it.

Its incomplete but it's about a RAmar A HUnewearl and later a HUmar they met during a fight. The main enemy appears to be evil Hunters or 'Shadowists' as the author named them. The Shadowists are apparently getting a ceremony set up, but the reason for attacking Arcanum (the RAmar) is not yet revealed.

6.5/10

(I wish I was better at being a critic...)

[ This Message was edited by: Robo47 on 2004-01-19 15:59 ]

Robert_Wolf

Jan 19, 2004, 03:58 PM

Ok, I don't understand that last review. He says the story is awesome, but then gives it a 5/10. That's a 50%. A failing grade. So which is it?!?

[ This Message was edited by: Robert_Wolf on 2004-01-19 12:58 ]

Garanz2

Jan 19, 2004, 05:10 PM

Yea, that's a bit hard to understand. I'll probably review something soon. This thread is getting interesting. (BTW, your trailer puts everyone else's to shame KodiaX http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif)

navci

Jan 19, 2004, 05:16 PM

On 2004-01-19 14:10, Garanz2 wrote:
Yea, that's a bit hard to understand. I'll probably review something soon. This thread is getting interesting. (BTW, your trailer puts everyone else's to shame KodiaX http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif)

... I second that! I just read the House of God. And sheesh! I am back to square one with my attempted piccie of Shurike... heh

Skett

Jan 19, 2004, 06:13 PM

Angulas Saga
"What is an Angulas and why does it get its own Saga?"

--Angulas Saga is the first PSO-themed story by writer Davion. Angulas Saga stars the young Davion and his two other brothers, Diego and Seifer, as they struggle against a evil enemy bent on destroying them. Throughout the story, the Angulas brothers feel the hardship of loosing others and eventually face their own inner demons.

--The story is very complex. If you forget to read a chapter than you could be doomed to be forever confused. However, the story is so awesome that you wont be able to stop from reading the next chapter. The concept is very original, well done, and executed perfectly. The whole plot is filled with inspiring turns. Just when you think you know something, the story throws a new set of problems. The only problem is, like stated before, its complex. Maybe a little too complex. But here, the good out-weighs the bad.

--The main characters, the Angulas Brothers, are nicely created. Not the most original bunch but what character is now-a-days. Still, their personalities are very different but react just like brothers. While the story is mainly about Davion, the other two brothers, Diego and Seifer, get plenty of moments to shine. The writer also included several cameos from other writers and users from PSOW. Probably the most noticable is Sharkyland's Grey and M_BlackHawk's characters from his short stories.

--I said this before. The dialogue is great and the descriptive paragraphs are written splendedly. The fight scenes are also very well dont. Not alot to say that hasn't been said.

--Overall, this is one of the best stories on PSOW. If you havent read it, do it now. And if you have, read it again.

Name: The Angulas Saga
Writer: Davion
Good: Story
Bad: Complex Story
Did you know that: Davion is going to get this story published?
Score: 10/10 (Platinum)
http://img20.photobucket.com/albums/v60/Namevah/Platinum_Award.bmp

[ This Message was edited by: Skett on 2004-02-04 16:28 ]

AUTO_

Jan 19, 2004, 06:46 PM

This thread reminds me of American Idol judges.

Robo47

Jan 19, 2004, 10:20 PM

Well heres the Prologue to my latest fic.
-------------------------------

Night time on Ragol.

"Boys, the cops are on to us. We'll have to cut down on our expenses." a powerful voice said to a few hunters,"No more dealing on Ragol, no more shady buisness for a while.". "Aww... but why, boss?", a HUmar in dark green asked.

"After our last job, the little girl betrayed us and then another hunter stopped our trading. One of them called us in. We'll have to take them out."

"But boss, if you say that we can't do sha-"

"I am fully aware of that. I'm going to call in a RAmar that can kill more people faster with a spoon than all three of you could with TJ Swords."

The figure's arm reached out of the shadow toward a telephone on the desk. He picked up the reciever and dialed a phone number.

***
scene shifts toward a rather messy apartment.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
"God! Shut the Fuck up!" a man says as he gets up from bed, "Yawn! Hello?"

"Ahh Hitman, why are you asleep at this hour?"

"Its fucking 3:30 in the morning."

"I have a job for you"

The Way the Mind Works

Digi-Dolphin

Jan 19, 2004, 10:52 PM

Heeyah! Got one of 'em online! Okay, the layout of my webpage is crap, needs to be debugged, but here's the link to the complete and uninterrupted Phantasy Crossing!

Lousy thing loaded before I got the link up. -_-;;

http://shemida.com/netbook/phantasy_crossing.pdf

There, I also changed the title for it. The Results of L33T Tang was a joke title, the real one is Worlds Apart. Hope ya'll enjoy it!

[ This Message was edited by: Digi-Dolphin on 2004-01-19 19:54 ]

Sord

Jan 19, 2004, 11:21 PM

I'm reviewing Temjin's fic. It's made in a similar format to Skett's review, but it has my opinion. Here i' goes:

This is an uncompleted fic, but great none the less. Whenever your read the title to Temjin's fic, The Appearance of Abnormality, make sure to add extra emphasis on Abnormality.

Plot/Story: This fic seems to have no plot, or rather the plot is made up each chapter. However, all the chapters make one full story. This makes it very hard to predict anything later on. You will read of things such as a bantha and a giant robotic rappy.

Character: The Appearance of Abnormality features a wide variety of characters. From short intention span caffeine addicts to a master of The Mad Cabbage Style, which sounds like a chef's title, but it isn't. While the characters themselves aren't described very well physically, their personalities are so greatly portrayed in their actions and dialogue you can make mental pictures of them easily.

Extra: The great thing about this is Temjin will use the names of real fan ficers and art submitters. This, however, does not mean he will accept anybody if they ask. So don't beg him. Another thing is he will put the names of certain songs in the fic, see if you can find them.

Fan Fiction Name: The Appearance of Abnormality
Authors Name: Temjin_On
Good: Portrays characters more through personality then physical descriptions
Bad: If you like to predict what's going to happen with ease, hate things that can be utterly ridiculous at times, or can't picture people in your head without a lengthy (one paragraph) character description, this isn't for you.
Probably the first to: Make a fic with characters that beat people up with crazy tunes
Score: 7/10 (the 100% biased score is 11/10)

[ This Message was edited by: Sord on 2004-01-19 20:22 ]

Robert_Wolf

Jan 19, 2004, 11:29 PM

Now, here are some excellent reviews! I'm glad everyone is getting the hang of this. After reading some trailers for other fics, I may decide to rewrite mine...

Well, that can wait for later! Glad this is catching on.

Skett, if you read this, I would very much enjoy it if you would review my fic.

KaFKa

Jan 20, 2004, 04:05 PM

meh, shameless self promotion is fun...

(first person perspective)

The Pandora Chronicles: Ayame

the ground disappeaerd from beneath
and only thing solid is air.
i tumbled end over end in my nature,
and darkness appears from below.

carrying with it
voices of query,
voices of theory,
dark voices,
near me.

all around,
reason is drowned,
by the pound of the hound,
is confusion,
illusion.

plunged into shadows and mist
i catch my breath,
frightened.
but still
i won't face death,
still i might.

I had avenged Kuberr, Chainer is dead.
I awoke to find myself in Wolf's arms. he was carrying me from the area we were in. I groaned, having part of my leg still beelding, my arms felt limp, my ribs unbearably sore. The whole left side of my face was also sore, but the strange part was, i didn't remember a thing. All i remember was being wherever Chainer had taken us, and him slashing at me. Then i remember standing, somehow knowing i had killed Chainer.

Wolf and Pandora were fighting off countless enemies, but i couldn't help them, my body felt broken, i just felt tired. Again i slipped into unconciousness, but i had a dream, but all i heard were voices floating in a vast blackness.

"Sermar, Ayame, umfila gres yun"

"What? who are you, how do you know my name? why can't i understand you?"

"calm down, Ayame, you have much to learn, we have much time."

"But, who are you? why are you mocking me in my own drem?"

"this is no dream, ayame." the voice was a calming, harmonic voice, a warmth coming from it. "this is a connection between worlds"

"between worlds? what do you mean?"

"i mean between alternate existances, Ayame. much has happened since your 'profound darkness' has manifested itself."

"Profound darkness? manifested? who are you!?"

"my name is Soun. The visions you saw, the strength you felt, the memory blanks, these are all from me"

"What? you mean, you took control of me?"

"in a way, yes. you must understand, i am but one of many beings that have used the rift to manifest ourselves for the greater good"

"ri-ft?"

"you still have much to learn. be at ease, for an open mind is the only way you will undestand"

"...okay..."

We conversed for what seemed like an eternity. Soun telling me about the rift, about the eternal battle, and the role that we all play. About the different worlds, about what he was, about what i, and every other newman, really was. The conversation was a great epiphone, but now all i can do is wait.

"Ayame! Wake up. Come on, damnit, wake up!" I awoke to Pandora yelling at me, Wolf still carying me.

"Wha? Pandora?"

"Good, she's still coherent. We're going to have to hurry. My resta isn't going to keep her alive forever"

Wolf nodded and they started to run over the dam. Pandora in the lead, her Yaskimov at the ready. Wolf, on the other hand, kept me awake with asking me questions and such, all i could manage was the occasinal groan and mumble. The fighting seemed to get even more pitched, as Pandora ran out of bullets for her gun, and had to start using Wolf's. The blasts of photon energy, the screams of animals and mutants, the crunching of metal, it seemed not real. Like a movie or something. Just kind of distant.
______________
this takes place in the very end of the fic, but meh says me.

KaFKa

Jan 20, 2004, 04:15 PM

yes, shameless self-promotion IS fun http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

(its in first person just like the Ayame Cronicle...)

Pandora Chronicles: Chainer

As i walked into the subterranean "ruins" as they're called, i felt a darkness roil up from around me. The feeling of an omnipresent, omnipowerful existance cascaded over me, bringing with it a force unto itself as it washed away all hope i had for finding survivors.
The group that i had hand picked for this assignment had all stopped and looked like they were going to run.

"If you're going to run, do it now. I dont want you guys leaving while we're down here..."

They all nodded and started for the entrance, led by myself.
The darkness grew as we entered the first area, and another, and another. We had found no signs of life, not even an insect. Room after room, we grew more pessimistic.
After about ten hours, we decided to rest up and send out reports to Pioneer 2.
As we slept in shifts, something called out to me, a voice. Dark. Deep. Vile. Unhuman. Unhallowing.

"Death before failure, and then it bloomed as wide as an eye. Roiling hate. Deathgrip in my veins. I barely reach the petals. Flowering forefaltetta. The space between a blink and a tear. Death blooms."

Upon the very first syllable of the statement i knew it could only be him. Picking up my Jusy and checking my Yaskimov, I slowly walked to the door the voice seemed to come from. Silently skulking i opened the door. It slid open with barely a sound. I crept in, keeping my Justy trained on anything that would move. I looked to see that the room was somewhat small, but still large enough to have a small-scale battle. The walls gleamed with excitement as I moved to the next door, it's geen light staring at me with joy and subterfuge. As i approached, it slid open, revealing an amazing view of the "ruins" The door slid shut behind me as i walked into what seemed to me to be a balcony, complete with a table and matching chairs. Two bottles and two champagne glasses adorned the table. In one of the chairs materialized a man, somewhat young, with black robes and blue trim, long, pure black hair, paper-white skin, and eyes that gleamed with youth and blasphemy. He turned to me and smiled a reserved, almost gentlemanly smile.

"Pandora, come have a seat."

"I would rather stand Chainer, you bastard"

"Chainer is dead, and so am I"

I almost dropped my rifle, were it not trained perfectly on his head

"But unlike him, i am able to sit here and enjoy a fine drink. I think i have the better end of the deal."

I lowered my weapon and was about to speak when he spewed forth his voice again in an almost gentlemanly tone

"I can tell by your expression that you're not comprehending. So sit down. I suggest you make yourself comfortable. pour yourself a drink, preferrably the bpttle to your left, the one on the right is something of an acquired taste. It's going to be a long evening, and you're going to need a stiff drink or two, i suspect. After all, in the next few hours i am going to tell you in excruciating detail why everything you think you know about life and death is wrong. In other words, you don't know a blessed thing about the way the world really works, and I'm going to open your eyes. But im afraid, my dear, that you may not like what you will see."

For some reason i felt unthreatened by his presence, so i did as he asked, poured myself a drink, and sat down, with my Yaskimov at the ready...

Sagasu

Jan 21, 2004, 04:35 PM

Some interesting topics have appeared since my brief absence. So heres my none-too-shamefull eye catchers for my two fics.

Final Assassination

Its been several years since the defeat of the two terrors, Olga Flow and Dark Falz, so what becomes of the galaxy next? What happens to the hunters and how do they establish their place in life?

We all know that they posess extrodinary powers, some strongers than others. So are you afraid of the abuse of this power, or more importantly, what will you do about it? How can you control these men and women that hold the strength to defeat mostrosities such as Dark Falz? Hunters where never quite appreciated as they should be, and so a dark cloud decends upon the lives of all.

Guilds and clans appear, cities are built, and culture expands and creates a complex series of life, entertwined. But there are those at unrest, fighters that only know how to fight have no monster to over throw, no battles to be fought.

We follow an assassin, in the end of thier kind among the hunters. For a time, murauders and mercenaries fought private wars, and assassins where sent to end them, or start them. The young Blaze, is one of such assassins. Yet he considers the buisness ended, for honor has been lost in everything. The last shreds of his pride lay in tatters as his accustomed lifestyle brings him deeper and deeper into the bowels of darkness.

He must struggle to maintain his humanity, his life, and those close to him. This is not your average tale, some parts are complex, and others are the blunt truth. Overall we find a bit of reality wherever you read. Come and explore the universe I have created, and witness for yourself the dawn of the end.

____________________________

http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif Ok, I've Finished Final Assassination, and Im working on its sequel. Im not sure if Hiko has gotten around to putting it in the fan-fic section of the site yet, if not you could do a forum search if you want to read it badly enough.

I will say that its quite nessesary for you to read Final Assassination before you read the sequel.

Wars Anguish

Its been seven months since new years eve and Blaze has held true to his word, the war has begun.

Read for yourself the sequel of Final Assassination; This new fiction explores the other side of the story, you will travel along with Ookami, a soldier with a troubled past, and see the true horrors of war firsthand. This is going to be the last of the two parter story, ands its an opportunity you don't want to miss
____________

Yeah the second one is a lot shorter, but I had to explain the background (more or less) in the first.

Im looking for reviews for Final Assassination if any one here has read it ^_^

Nai_Calus

Jan 21, 2004, 05:35 PM

I'm too lazy to post a trailer for my fic. Just read it anyway, lol. Someone wanna review it? >P

...Actually, I would post a trailer, but I si teh lazy and can't think of anything pretentious enough that doesn't also sound really, really dumb. Heh.

Sunblast

Jan 21, 2004, 07:27 PM

Here's a small preview from my first and, so far, only fan fic. It's pretty old, so if you have comments, you should probably PM them to me so you don't get in trouble for bumping. Well, here goes. I hope I did this right.
The Fall of Cosmo
Chapter 4-The Great Escape
-------------------------------------
Cosmo was close to his friend, now. The room was dimly lit, and it was filled to knee level with chilling water. Luckily, his android body couldn't shiver, even if he wanted it to. He could see sensors scanning areas of the floor for intruders, like himself. They look like red laser fences, and they are hooked directly to the security system for the whole facility. Touch one, and all kinds of automated-defense-hell breaks loose. Fortunately, Cosmo's no klutz. He weaved between the beams with mechanical grace and kept moving in the direction of Sunblast's signal. Once he reached the middle of the room, his Grass-Assassin Sabers instinctively drew themselves to attack positions. Why am I not surprised?
He spun to meet his enemies. More squid-like enemies. No problem. He took a step towards them, but suddenly, he was going backwards. He regained his footing, only to fly back again. He stood up again, and saw a red form appearing in front of him. It swung a giant, pile-driving fist into his torso, and his feet left the floor. He flew backwards. Right through a security sensor.

Red lights flashed rapidly. The corridor lit by the scarlet glow of the sirens, and the shrill sound of every alarm on the floor and then some going off in near unison.
"Oh no," Sunblast uttered. "Cosmo. Cosmo!"
Discarding all grace and stealth, Sunblast made a mad dash down the hallway.
---------------------------
Here's the actual thread: http://www.pso-world.com/viewtopic.php?topic=71244&forum=12
I'd love to see a review of it pop up in here sometime, wink wink. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

Skett

Jan 21, 2004, 08:30 PM

Ultimate Hunters
"The brave, the true, the ultimate of all Hunters. Or something"

--Ultimate Hunters was written by New Ultimate, who can rarely be found on the site that made him a writing legend (at least to PSOW). Ultimate Hunters is about the Hunter, New Ultimate, as he searches for the cause of the explosion at the Central Dome with his friends Rei, BladeGunner, and Ayla. At a first glance you might expect this to be a normal, serious story. That is until you get past chapter one. After that you will find one of the best stories on PSOW. It has everything that makes a story good. Like comedy? Check. Romance? Check. Fighting? Check. And these are only three of the many themes hidden in Ultimate Hunters. Lets dive down and take a look.

-- The story begins very unoriginally. Many stories involve a group of Hunters are sent to Rogal with a mission to find the cause of the of the explosion that took out everyone on the planet. Thankfully, the story ends up following a different route. Unlike alot of other stories, UH takes place on both Rogal and Pioneer 2, almost half and half. Anyways, around halfway through the story, and after some interesting events (and foreshadowing), a couple interesting twists throwing what you originally thought of what the story will lead to out the window. Thankfully, these are some great twists that will only motivate the reader into reading until the last chapter. Also, romance is pretty heavy later on in the story but not so much that makes anti-romantic person throw-up with disgust.

--Ah, characters. Thankfully, the character interaction is one of the best I have read on a fansite and one of the stories greatest strengths. And they are created through diverse and believable characters. First character is New Ultimate (named after the writer), a humble but strong Hunter with more to him than meets the eye. Ayla, an original character, is the only girl of the group. When she enters the group, she is very angery at New, because she thinks he is someone he is not, but eases up to her new friends. Rei the King Zero (another user at PSOW) is a where alot of the comedy comes from by having him try to woo many a woman that he sees. Last, BladeGunner (again, named after another PSOW user) is the tough guy, at first. He eventually warms up to his new friends and shows a softer side, at least when not being annoyed by Rei. Several other characters from the game show up, like Rico and Kireek.

--Unlike all other writers on this site (that I have read), the writer uses a different style of paragraphs. By creating a totally seperate line for dialogue, New can focus on descriptions while not allwoing the reader to become confused with whos talking. Confused? How about an example from the story :
(Chapter One)

NEW ULTIMATE, skilled Human Hunter, age... 20. He desperately looks for a mirror. Goes to his small bathroom and he sees himself exactly like his memories told him he would.

NEW ULTIMATE: (thinking) Why am I this forgetfull right in the morning? This is weird...
Other than that, the dialogue is so human that you might think that the characters were talking and everything they said was written down (Ok, maybe you wont think that). The descriptions are awesome. The fights are written confusion-free.

--This is one of those titles that is able to do everything right and has different themes. From comedy to romance, there is almost something for everybody (sorry hentei fans, but we dont like you anyways). This is a must read. Read it now. Go, do it. If you are a new person to PSOW (and there have been quite a few arriving lately), and vet of reading the story, or just a writer needing insperation, this is a awesome, inspiring fic with few flaws that is worth reading.

Name: Ultimate Hunters
Writer: New Ultimate
Good: Story and characters.
Bad: Dum "choose what you thing" ending.
A Neon Genesis Evangelion fic: the only other fic I read that uses this style of writing. Did you know: New was working on a new story, called Phantasia, but it got cancelled and New left PSOW (He still signs on but rarely. If you read this New, drop us a post)
Score: 10/10 (Platinum Award)
Story link: http://www.pso-world.com/fanfic.php?op=viewstory&id=70
http://img20.photobucket.com/albums/v60/Namevah/Platinum_Award.bmp

[ This Message was edited by: Skett on 2004-02-04 16:33 ]

magicfinder

Jan 22, 2004, 11:07 PM

I heard that Sunblasts Sucked. Review it. TAKE THAT!

HunterKieran

Jan 23, 2004, 11:35 AM

Mere months have passed since the fall of the Reydovan Empire. Two groups of survivors fled from the ruins of the once mighty empire to a nearby world which was also on the verge of collapse....the planet Coral.

The first group was Kieran Devaneaux, the last surviving heir to the Imperial throne, and several members of the former Imperial Guard. They arrived as the Pioneer Project was in its final stages and Pioneer 1 was preparing for departure. When he came here, he met three people who he considered important to his new life - Tyrell, the Principal of Pioneer 2, a military officer named Heathcliff Flowen and, most important to him, a hunter named Celest...the woman who would become his wife. When Flowen left on Pioneer 1, much of Kieran's Imperial Guards had become Hunters and Rangers under Flowen's command and went along with them, but Kieran and Celest remained behind, instead leaving with Tyrell on Pioneer 2.

But Kieran was not the only Reydovan survivor on Pioneer 2. An ancient, galaxy-spanning order known as the Brotherhood of the Demon had set up shop on Reydovan Prime, and was believed to have contributed to the fall of the Empire. Much of the leadership of the Brotherhood was on Pioneer 1, which had exploded mysteriously. But one survived, remaining on Pioneer 2...and he had somehow gained possession of Kieran's DNA and created a "pure" version of the Imperial heir, which focused on Kieran's awesome potential for sorcery.

This evil Force became known as "Demon-Kieran"....

Find out more about this nefarious sorcerer in a three-part story that details Demon-Kieran's early training in the jungles of Gal Da Val, his first encounter with his "reflection" and the battles between Pioneer 2's hunters and Demon-Kieran's seemingly unstoppable army of machines in what became known as the "Battle for Ragol". Will Demon-Kieran's plans for the domination of Ragol succeed, or will Kieran put him down like a rabid dog? Only time will tell....

Robert_Wolf

Jan 23, 2004, 01:05 PM

On 2004-01-22 20:07, magicfinder wrote:
I heard that Sunblasts Sucked. Review it. TAKE THAT!

I don't know if you were serious, but please, constructive criticism only.

Sagasu

Jan 23, 2004, 05:54 PM

I agree, just saying that something is bad doesn't help the writer; something like telling why it is a bad fic would be on topic and not nearly as offensive http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/whip.gif

still waiting 4 someone to review my fic

http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif

Skett

Jan 23, 2004, 11:02 PM

Final Assassination
"Noitanissassa Lanif"

--Final Assassination, created by Sarunakai, tells the story of Blaze, a wanted criminal haunted by mistakes from his past. In various mass medias, like videogames, movies and, yes, stories, the term "sleeper-hit" is defined as something great that did not recieve the attention that it rightly deserved. At least, thats my definition. And this term perfectly describes Final Assassination. This title recieved very little attention. It had few posts which is a shame because this story tells a interesting tail worth reading.

--The story begins right away by explaining the nightmares that fill Blaze's mind. And as soon as that ends, the story, like a train, starts chuggen away, not losing speed until the end. And even that, well, lets say the train has more than one destination. The various events that conspire are interesting and well suited for a story like this. A couple of different theme fill the story. A air of mystery floats around the story. Romance also has a spot here but isn't that large a role. Some minor flaws were some slight confusion with some events. Also, the story changes the character perspective often and can become rather confusing. Other than that, the story works well with the writers skills.

--Final Assassination stars Blaze, a wanted criminal. The character is cold with a heart of ice. However, after meeting a old female aquantince, Blaze starts to show some real emotion. Something that you might not have expected when first reading the story. Really well done character growth. Various other characters with various personalities inhabit the fic. Each grow through the story. These are memorable characters. I know I didn't explain the characters, by the way. There are many characters and trying to explain them all would take more space than I would want, a sign of great characters.

--This should be short because there is not much to say. The paragraphs were pretty well written and the dialogue was nicely worded, granted a few really confusing parts. (Sarunakai actually warned readers that it might become confusing) The fights were great with interesting things occuring throughout them. But what really stands out is how symbolic the chapters are. The various poems, dialogue, even fights seem to create awesome feel. Its like those novels that have no fighting but because the story is so...right. You dont even miss the fights or romance. Almost like it speaks to you. And believe me, few fics, no matter how great they are, just cant seem to pull that off. That is one of the best reasons why you have to read this.

--A very well written story that didn't get much attention. The stories twists and turns until the very end and the characters flow with personality. But the best reason to give this story a try is all the meaning behind it. Read this. Or just add it onto your list of fics to read. You can thank the writer (for creating it) and myself (for getting you to read it) by sending money to the Rappy Foundation.

Name: Final Assassination
Writer: Sarunakai
Good: Symbolistic feeling
Bad: Real confusing parts
Somehow reminds me of: Kadou's Revelations
Did you know: More a span of around a week, Sarunakai didn't post any new chapters but edited older chapters? My first post on the thread commented on spelling typos, so Sarunakai cleaned that up.
Score: 8/10 (Silver)
http://img20.photobucket.com/albums/v60/Namevah/Silver_Award.bmp

[ This Message was edited by: Skett on 2004-02-04 16:35 ]

magicfinder

Jan 24, 2004, 06:12 PM

On 2004-01-23 14:54, Sarunakai wrote:
I agree, just saying that something is bad doesn't help the writer; something like telling why it is a bad fic would be on topic and not nearly as offensive http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/whip.gif

still waiting 4 someone to review my fic

http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif

He made me promise that I would say something about his fanfic to get someone to take a look at his fan fic. That Is why I said I heard it sucked. It causes you to get interest to see if that flaming moron (me) is right or just a flaming moron. And when I said "take that" is a coded on going message to Sunblast saying that I completed the assignment (promise) he forced upon me. Frankly I know he is going to disavow any knowledge of it being his idea. I did partially think this up but I did it in truth in his favor. As a rule of thumb I will not read his fan fic in the chance it may actually suck. So think what you will. I do not want to hurt the feelings of a friend! (he knows I did it in his best interest.) Toodles.

M_BlackHawk

Jan 24, 2004, 11:39 PM

NOTE: While I normally don't like to hype my fics like this, here goes:

It's Been A Long Time in Coming

a message pops up on several hunter's BEE uplinks. "Meet at Angelus Manor in 2 hours. Come armed, and make ready for war. BlackHawk"

Evil is soon to return{/Center]

A familiar dark form looms ominously in a tank of a mysterious greenish fluid.

[center]While one enemy will fall, another will arise

Get ready, because "Taking a Stand" will continue soon, and will be followed by "Evil Returns"..coming soon to a PSO World near you, by M_BlackHawk

Stormsworder

Jan 24, 2004, 11:44 PM

(Prays someone will review his Fic.)

Skett

Jan 25, 2004, 09:17 PM

Yay, BlackHawk's fic will start again! *Does happy dance*

Sagasu

Jan 25, 2004, 09:27 PM

Thanks a bunch Skett http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_yes.gif

I have to agree that it gets confusing, (even for me, isn't that sad?) Its just something you have to read more than once to fully understand, just like a long movie that you dont know the book behind.

I would do some of my own reviews but I'm eaten for time (as always).

KodiaX987

Jan 25, 2004, 09:34 PM

Blackhawk, I give you five stars for your trailer but zero for your BBcode!! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif

Robert_Wolf

Jan 26, 2004, 10:53 PM

I just want to request that someone review the Guardian.

I've seen a lot of really great reviews on this page, but no one has reviewed my fic yet.

Please...

I'll give you candy...

Sunblast

Jan 28, 2004, 06:31 AM

Well, let me take a shot at it, Robert. I don't have time now, but I'll write it either when I get back from school, or if all goes wrong, tomorrow morning.

Hikara

Jan 28, 2004, 02:36 PM

On 2004-01-26 19:53, Robert_Wolf wrote:
I just want to request that someone review the Guardian.

I've seen a lot of really great reviews on this page, but no one has reviewed my fic yet.

Please...

I'll give you candy...

It's always a good thing to WAIT FOR YOUR FIC TO FINISH before you get it reviewed. Do you see someone reviewing the Protectorate's Shadow yet? No, because it's not finished yet. Patience, Wolf. And a little bit of speed.

Sunblast

Jan 28, 2004, 03:14 PM

Bah, that's what I was gonna say! Well, I'll try to review what you already have. Sorry if it's short, but you'll understand if I don't grow up to be a critic. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

The Guardian
It starts off pretty simple. A hunter is lost on Ragol and is in need of rescuing. He's saved by a team of experts led by the amazing Robert Wolf. But the biggest problem is not the monsters that walk the surface of Ragol, but instead a group of criminals and terrorists.
This is what attracted me to this fic. The concept of fighting other intelligent and dangerous people is intriguing.
The fight scenes are pretty good. In my opinion, I think they could use some more description. That way, there's less chance of having to reread sections from getting lost. And with a little of the dialogue, I couldn't tell for sure who it was that was talking.
Still, I think the strongest points in this are the story and the characters.
It is a completely origional story with some great twists. Also, it includes characters from other great fanfics. You don't have to know who they are, but I suggest reading the fics they're from. They're good. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif
The characters are very realistic, with strengths and weaknesses, skills as well as fears. Besides that, how can I resist Sunblast? He is so cool! Sorry, I had to get that out. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif
This story isn't finished yet, but in my opinion, it's already a must-read. Let's just hope Robert keeps at it.

Robert_Wolf

Jan 29, 2004, 09:55 AM

Well, thanks for the review Sunblast. And I can see your point about waiting on the review until the story is finished. I will keep that in mind.

*twitches from lack of patience*

Well, anyway! New chapter will be up on friday!

And as you know, Robert Wolf is always a man of his word. *tosses Sunblast some candy* There you go!

[ This Message was edited by: Robert_Wolf on 2004-01-29 06:56 ]

Sord

Jan 29, 2004, 04:22 PM

On 2004-01-28 11:36, Hikara wrote:

On 2004-01-26 19:53, Robert_Wolf wrote:
I just want to request that someone review the Guardian.

I've seen a lot of really great reviews on this page, but no one has reviewed my fic yet.

Please...

I'll give you candy...

It's always a good thing to WAIT FOR YOUR FIC TO FINISH before you get it reviewed. Do you see someone reviewing the Protectorate's Shadow yet? No, because it's not finished yet. Patience, Wolf. And a little bit of speed.

that give me the urge to review your fic. lol. Or are you using reverse phycology. Although if you want me to review your fic, you know if you told me, i wouldn't do it, but if you told me not to i would, but you would know that i know that and thus you would use reverse reverse phycology...@_@

Zzzzzz

Jan 29, 2004, 08:14 PM

This fic isn't out yet, just so you know(I tried putting it out, but I didn't read Kafka's guide so if you read the prologue I put out, forget it ever happened.)

"I'll have to collect some data on Rag Rappies. I?ll use my teleporter in the warehouse."

What if...

"I can't believe that I, the great Mome, have to collect the data myself."

A creature on Ragol...

"That should be enough. I'll just leave the teleporter here in case I want to go back. The only ones that could find would be those darn Rag Rappies."

Manage to access the teleporters...

"Pi?"

"And start an invasion on Pioneer 2?"

"Principal, we have a problem."
"What is it?"
"Pioneer 2 is being invaded, sir. By Rag Rappies."

Now...

"The Rag Rappies must be stopped. Tell every Hunter's Guild that I will give a reward for those who will complete this mission."

Four hunters must face...

"You four are the first to answer my call. Zzzzzz, the unknown HUmar, Shila, a young HUnewearl, "Queen" Sollah, a FOmarl that was queen of a kingdom, and THE PATRIOT, an old RAcast who's Sollah's bodyguard."

Not only the problem of the invasion...

"Sir! One of our best military bots have gone berserk!"
"WHAT?"

But also problems caused by it.

"Okay, bot and girls, let's kick some Rappy tail."

"TRI"

M_BlackHawk

Jan 29, 2004, 08:22 PM

On 2004-01-25 18:34, KodiaX987 wrote:
Blackhawk, I give you five stars for your trailer but zero for your BBcode!! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif

I'd have to be inclined to agree on that, Kodi. My BBCode was absolutely horrible on the trailer. I was working on finishing up some ideas for my fic and didn't double check my coding.

Oh well.

Look for "Taking a Stand" Chapter 2 coming soon.

later

M_BlackHawk

Sunblast

Jan 30, 2004, 06:21 AM

On 2004-01-29 06:55, Robert_Wolf wrote:
Well, thanks for the review Sunblast. And I can see your point about waiting on the review until the story is finished. I will keep that in mind.

*twitches from lack of patience*

Well, anyway! New chapter will be up on friday!

And as you know, Robert Wolf is always a man of his word. *tosses Sunblast some candy* There you go!

[ This Message was edited by: Robert_Wolf on 2004-01-29 06:56 ]

Yay, candy!
*Swallows it whole with the wrapper still on.
Ha! Now Odie can't get it from me! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif BTW, it's friday now. I want that new chapter! I've got a freaking awesome snow day today. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Temjin-On

Jan 31, 2004, 11:26 PM

Well, I guess its time I gave you all a preview of my next work, set to be started shortly.

The Return Of Abnormality
Things had been going well for Sachi. She and The Knights Of The Green w00t had just finished their first album and everything was going great. Then she woke up from her dream, and found her self right back in the middle of the chaos that is her life. Now more than ever Sachi seeks peace and quiet and its doubtful that she well ever get it. Hide the kids, hide the booze and the caffeine because the Abnormality gang is back at it for yet another chaotic journey! But wait that isnt all! All your nagging questions will be answered and many more will be raised. But one thing is certain, fan fictions will never be the same. Oh me oh my! its The Return Of Abnormality!
Warning! Reading this fan fiction may have harful side effects. Reading this fiction my cause servre seisures, a dramitic loss of IQ, caffeine adiction, loss of sight, loss of mind, rectal bleeding and in many cases Death. If you do however survive all of this, you will be guitaru smacked by the Seven Crazy Tune weilding HUnewearls of the apocalypse exactly seven days after reading this fan fiction. United Otakus Productions is in no way liable for any harmful side effects resulting from reading this fic. You have been warned. Only one stupid son of a delsaber would read this fiction.

Yes, I know this is comes with a whole 2 chapters left on Appearance of Abnormality, but thats not to say I havnt started ideas for the sequal.

[ This Message was edited by: Temjin-On on 2004-01-31 20:40 ]