PDA

View Full Version : Fanfic:Chapter one, the ebb and Flow.



Gnarled_rose
Jan 18, 2004, 10:30 AM
Alright, this has gone on long enough! I'm going to be taken seriously as a writer here! It's time to show you all the other side of the coin, especially those who keep up on Hikara's Protectorate series.
Besides, if Hikara can do it, so can I.

Rio walked carefully through the ruins of the seabed laboratory. She had worked long and hard to become powerful enough to do this without damaging any D-celled monsters, and now she had made it. Her face set in grim determination, she entered what he knew to be the final room and stepped through the teleporter. After so much trial and sacrifice, she made it.
She waited patiently on the elevator. Soon, her objective came into sight: Olga Flow. This was everything the RAcaseal had worked for. She looked at her rifle, and saw that Flow was waiting for her to make the first move. She threw it down and knelt.
"My name is Rio." She had to raise her voice to be heard. Even upsidedown, Flow didn't seem impressed. He took one swing at her with his mighty sword, and she flipped over it with ease.
"I've come looking for you, Flowen, Olga, and IDOLA!" She announced, and hoped that whichever entity was in control would give her a second glance now. Flow just raised his other hand and fired his magnificent beam straight at her. She blocked it as best she could, but took slight damage anyway. Then the purpose came to her: He was testing her. Apparently, fighting her way through all of Gal Da Val wasn't enough. Now she had to take punishment willingly, too.
But soon, the elevator fell away and the beam died down. Then Flow hit the floor, and his four legs disintigrated to become two. He looked down at the pathetic mortal with disgust.
"Olga Flow, I need your help!" She called up to him. An unshakable fear overtook her, and she knew it to be another test. Then Flow knelt down unthreateningly and his words flooded her mind.
Why do you seek me? he demanded mentally, and the walls shook with his power.
"I have word--"
Fool. Think.He tallied this as a mark against her.
Forgiveness, my lord. she asked him humbly, but I have searched long and hard for you. I come to offer aid. She stopped as he began laughing incredulously. Everything around Rio vibrated with the Dark Lord's amusement.
You?! To aid me? You are mortal, and I am IDOLA! She thought for sure all was lost, until he spoke again.
But you have come all this way through my desmesnes, and not bothered any of my minions. Apparently, you know the simplest way to win favor. I will hear your petition.
Many thanks, my lord. Surely you know that the forces of the light are gathering against you, even now. He quaked with rage, and she continued. But I bring you help. You cannot battle this man on your own, this...Orin. Your immediate, physical power does not extend beyong the planet's atmosphere.
Yes...They are crafty like that. Flow agreed dangerously. Reminding him of his weak points wasn't his most favorite thing to do right now.
But I can bring you relief. Perhaps I can explain things from the mortal point of view.
For this information, you desire...what?He couldn't believe he was bargaining with a mortal, but if anyone wanted to bring it up, they would have to keep in mind that he was Olga Flow.
For this information, I desire nothing but what you give me. I am one of the few who recognize that good and evil must coexist. Or, if you do not consider yourself evil, destruction, then. Either way, these mortals want to eradicate you, but they do not realize that doing so would only bring the evil into their hearts. There is no such thing as a perfect world, but no one else knows that. No one but me...and my Enlightened. Rio tried to stay modest about all this, but she hated the way her fellow man saw the world in black and white, not realizing that their entire world was lying on the division of the two non-colors.
Hmph, a mortal fighting force? What could I possibly use that for?
Don't think of us like that. Think of us as a more subtle means to accomplish your objectives. A Del Saber would immediately be picked out in a crowd, but a nondescript RAnewm could make his way into any part of the building. Then she saw her mistake, and regretted it.
You beleive that you know something I do not? You think that I have mispercieved you? I am OLGA FLOW! I have done nothing of the sort. I do not require an advisor in your weak, mortal matters. Begone.[/i} He commanded angrily, and rose to his feet. She doubled over quickly and thought quickly [i]My lord, I meant nothing of the sort! But surely, you can see the logic. For no creature lives long with only one eye, or one perspective on the matter. No...intelligent creature, anyway. Please, lord, allow us to be your other mind, other eye. We can help you manipulate their minds, lord. She raised her head carefully.
We live to serve



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Gnarled_rose on 2004-01-18 07:31 ]</font>

Skett
Jan 18, 2004, 12:11 PM
Good start, Thorny. I can see great promise for this story. Good luck.

Garanz2
Jan 18, 2004, 01:49 PM
Interesting. VERY interesting. I'm intrigued as to where this is going. Striking a deal with OF isn't what I would call a good idea, but, well, who cares?!

Looking forward to the next part.

Sord
Jan 18, 2004, 01:58 PM
I think it's a great idea! There's some philosophy in their to. Truth is, she's (the character) right. If everything was good, we would become bored and we would all do bad things, but we would never want to be bored again, thus we would be doing evil forever. Although things such as good, bad, evil, ect. are words based on our perception of what is right and what is wrong. Which is mostly derived from the bible, which the english forced on others. That's why it's a major religion today. But what if they didn't? Chances are our perception of write and wrong would be diffrent. Ack, i'm getting off topic, better stop while i can.

shinto_kuji
Jan 18, 2004, 03:00 PM
I've always considered you to be one of the better writers, but whatever. Great start, keep it comin'.

Gnarled_rose
Jan 18, 2004, 09:11 PM
I'm posting this purely because I see 29 views and 4 replies.
In case anyone is wondering, I plan on adding to this fic on a weekly basis, probably late saturday/early sunday.
And I might as well add that this will deviate from nearly everything else I write in that there will be little or no romance/love scenes.

Sord
Jan 18, 2004, 09:17 PM
On 2004-01-18 18:11, Gnarled_rose wrote:
And I might as well add that this will deviate from nearly everything else I write in that there will be little or no romance/love scenes.


*begins to beat up rose* http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_bash.gif http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/twak.gif http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_bondage.gif http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_chuck-ball.gif http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_quickdraw.gif http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wet-trout.gif http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_cry.gif http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/whip.gif

Skett
Jan 18, 2004, 09:42 PM
Weekly basis, huh? Somehow it is going to get screwed up. Its the sad truth to fanfic writing. Hope the story goes good anyways, Thorny.

And about the Romance Love stories: No Romance? Those are my favorate kinds of Love stories. Sorry bad joke. Its so hard to tell jokes on a message board.


This post is rated T for Thorny, who is here. On this board. I got nothin.

Gnarled_rose
Jan 18, 2004, 09:57 PM
Never been beaten over the internet before...Not too bad. But what I'm hearing is that you were either disappointed I didn't write more or that I'm not writing any more love scenes (on this fic, anyway).
But apparently, my romantic escapades have gotten some notice. Hmm, I'll analyze this and decide whether or not to persue it further. How about this:If anyone wants any more of my little ficettes, PM me. Depending on the number of messages will the verdict be passed.
There's a challenge to anyone who reads whatever I write.

Skett
Jan 19, 2004, 06:38 PM
Yeah, we are a bit taken a back that the next story doesn't have any romance in it but that shouldn't stop you from writing the story. Continue with whatever you had planned.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Skett on 2004-01-19 15:40 ]</font>